ted73104

Seems like the environment that you grew up in attributed you with a sense of judgement about yourself. Overall, you didn't like some of the things that occurred in your family in the past. Now with this negative build up and a flawed self identity, you probably also have issues building relationships between your peers. You hate the world because you feel the world has abandoned you. No matter how hard you try, no one seems to ever give a fuck about you. Unfortunately this looks like a negative spiral downwards, my friend. You have a negative worldview about yourself, and your negativity repels those around you "proving" that you "don't deserve to be loved". Emotions are really a strong thing. Basically you need to cultivate a positive emotion which is stronger than the negative emotion to overcome this. And this positive emotion cannot be forced, it has to be genuine. Very hard. I wouldn't suggest you to do this directly. I wouldn't suggest to even try to be positive, because that is just damn hard right now. I used to be in this situation, and then when I suffered a depression, it took me ten years to overcome. For me the way to stop feeling guilt is to change how you see yourself, and in this process I changed my entire worldview. I think the changing your worldview part might be necessary, because how you see yourself is mainly built on how you think other people look at you. How you think other people look at you is based on your worldview. Logically, I think you would agree that there is no such thing as the idea of deserving or not deserving. What people think you deserve is only their selfish opinion. Anyone who is in your shoes, grew up the way you did, would end up in the exact same position as you. People are not better than you just because their circumstances were better. There is no fucking point in comparison here, because there is just nothing to compare with. I think the first thing you should do is to try to be exactly as you are right now. Just try to accept yourself as you are right now with no judgement. You need to jump out of neurotic ideas and let your emotions flow. Good thing would be to find a close friend and honestly talk about how you feel with him/her. Then I would recommend therapy, those this would cost you, but I wished I got therapy sooner. Would have saved me years of suffering, your happiness is way more important than any amount of money. Through therapy, you could understand more about yourself, identify your internal issues. And then you could gradually resolve those inner issues one by one. And so I think there's two parts to overcoming guilt. First is to develop this neutral mindset where you're able to look at your circumstance from a bigger point of view, big picture thinking here. There is a zillion reasons why you're the way you are, you just supposed to be the way you are right now. With understanding, you can become more calm about yourself. Then there is the work to change your habits, piece by piece, and generating results you want in your life. The neutral mindset is really important, because if you think negatively about yourself when you try and then "fail", it will hinder your will to continue. Work to change yourself in really small steps. The results will be exponential, meaning that the change is slow at first but you'll gradually change more and more quicker. Once you've overcome even one issue, you will be significantly stronger than you were before.

Yes, I still have a bit of this. It used to feel like someone else might see into the real me, I might get exposed somehow when people look at me.

I think it really depends on what your goal is. If you want to build skills for a potential career, I think these lessons don't teach you much. Their content are only useful because they may provide you concepts on which you could use to communicate with your future peers. As a software engineer, I only found lectures useful when I was studying for my master's degree, where I had to implement actual stuff. Very different from the conceptual lectures I had in college. Otherwise, there are lots to be learned only if you're interested.

Everyone has a foot in hell no matter their circumstances. Maybe we should just learn to admit that we're just goddamn monsters and try to accept that fact for a moment, from time to time.

I think finding the suitable field for yourself can be frustrating at times. The passion part takes a long time to develop after you've dived into a specific field, and I wouldn't expect any passion in college. If I could time travel back to my college years, instead of putting that much effort in studying, I would also try to be an intern at different companies. See what skills can be developed and finding those that I identify with most. I would try to satisfy my base desires first, like finding a high-income skill and being able to provide value, and try to build a sense of accomplishment. However most jobs are just a huge grind though.

Wow, what are you aiming for by putting this much time in working on yourself? If you enjoy the process, then no one would be able to suggest you anything I think.

Money and sex.

I think what I like most is giving love, caring for others, and being loved as well. However it's unfortunate that I don't experience this very often nowadays.

I'm curious on how you realized you are God?

I agree with you, anyone who has to use drugs to wake up is not truly enlightened.

The sense of always being so far away from the goal, wondering if I would ever get there. Lots of emotional labor put in but with hardly any significant results.

You have completed the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale. The LSRP measures two scales. Scores range from 1 (low) to 5 (high). Your score from primary psychopathy has been calculated as 1.9. Primary psychopathy is the affective aspects of psychopathy; a lack of empathy for other people and tolerance for antisocial orientations. Your score from secondary psychopathy has been calculated as 2.4. Secondary psychopathy is the antisocial aspects of psychopathy; rule breaking and a lack of effort towards socially rewarded behavior. With two scores, results of the LSRP are very suitable for being plotted. Below is the distribution of how other people who have taken this test have scored. You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 41.76% of people who have taken this test. You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 44.28% of people who have taken this test.

Yes, keep finding new therapists. It takes time to find the right one for yourself.

@TKP Have you ever tried to talk with you brother about his situation?

Why don't we ask this question, if a person loves video games playing it seven days a week for almost the entire day each day, then how do we get this guy to wake up a bit and decide to change his mind? I bet lots of people have played video games for days before. Yes, eventually you feel empty and you wonder if you should do something more constructive. But what if some people don't feel this way? What is the next step to "help" these type of people?

Did you read this book from Kindle? I see that this book will be released on Amazon on September 1st.

I remember Leo mentioning what you needed to do before you take psychedelics in one of his videos. Forgot which one it was, but he said you needed to get to an advanced level of personal development before you take psychedelics, or else you'll just have a bad trip.

Do you feel regret with how you use your time because you think you should be more productive? Maybe my guess is wrong, but how you should spend your time really depends on what you want. People need time doing nothing or just doing whatever you want and chill. These kinds of moments would allow your subconscious to rest and fix itself, which will give you willpower. I'm also guessing that your anger is a result of higher expectations. Not sure, but anger is an emotion and emotions are an essential part of the basic functions of the body. So you can't get rid of this emotion. Main point is what you're angry at. One way to resolve anger is to understand more about the situation you're mad at, gain more understanding about the details and about how you feel. When you've realized that things are like this for a reason, you probably will be able to accept the situation and be more calm.

You could google "green economy", countries are recognizing that their regions are being effected by climate change. They are moving faster towards green energy and green engineering. This problem needs to be resolved from a systemic level, not personal ones.

Consequence could probably be the atmosphere of the wellbeing center shifting towards more strict protocols in order to prevent covid from getting into the facility. This would build trust for customers who would become more likely to put their family members into the facility, however the stricter rules and tighter resource management would result in less effort put into the psychological care of the patients. The patients would become more managed instead of being cared for.

Too bad the election wasn't today for Trump supporters. I guess the coronavirus saved the United States from Donald Trump then.

I think you might need to watch Leo's earlier videos or some videos from other channels related to self actualization to be able to fully understand the depth of this concept. This idea is basically trying to realize the truth that everyone is acting from their own perspective of love and goodness. However we all know that everyone is selfish and incapable of living out true love. But if you're able to love everyone and see the goodness of every person, then you're on a different level of consciousness. These teachings simply help you to accept and love the world as it is. This way you'll have almost no resistance in whatever you want to do or experience in the world, meaning you'll experience no pain and have no judgement against the world. If you don't feel this to be true, do not try to pretend that it is true. Just follow your heart and what you feel to be true. Raising awareness and consciousness takes a long time. You need to know how to pursue this step by step.

@Federico del pueblo I agree, I've heard of people getting bad trips before. Please exclude psychedelics as an option, unless you really want to meet God. @devoid I don't quite understand why you reject therapy, as in my experience it is a very direct way to resolving your issues. Of course I understand that therapy may be expensive. So if I were in your condition again and I had to find a way without professional help, what I would do is find people who I could talk about all these problems with. People who can be patient listening to you, could be your closest friend, or someone who has similar problems. Being able to express the pain and negative emotions is important in releasing the negative energies. Making new friends would be a great option, however depends on if you're able to find friends in your condition. Another method would be to confront those who abused you in the past, go ask them why the fuck did you have to endure some of the things you did not like in the past. You'd probably not prefer this method, I'm not asking you to seek revenge, but talking to these people can bring clarity. You'd probably realize that you're also responsible for what happened in the past. I think the most direct way would be in the list that @Waken recommended, but those stuff are very hard to implement by yourself and this is why therapy is recommended. You could also find someone who has done this inner work before and knows much about your condition, but you'd have to find someone who has this capability first, which is quite rare to find. You're currently in a fog where you can't really see your situation. Then under this condition, you have to get out of the maze. You could easily get lost for decades if you traverse the maze yourself without assistance. Which is why I still recommend professional help.

If your dates don't work out as you plan, there's no need to think that you're incapable or something. Just relax and admit that things didn't go as you wanted. You can even joke about you own insecurities, I bet she'll like you even more and laugh with you. From your second date experience, I think that you want to create a great dating atmosphere and get everything right, which is all good and keep going. She, on the other hand, only wants to be with you and understand you more. You both do want to have a good time, but in the end what only matters is if she can trust and understand you more or not. You don't need to impress anyone on this, just find out if you can discover her inner beauty and see if you can like her more.

I guess it is fine even if you're doing this for experience's sake, in this case you should learn more about how to be her friend rather than lover. Long term relationships requires a person to be more capable to love and be responsive. I believe you will realize that the friendship part is more important than the romantic or sexual part of the relationship. If you want to learn how to build a deep connection with a woman, you will need to learn how to understand everything about her and how to love everything about her. It is actually the inner beauty of a person that can attract you for a long time, not any outer appearances. I guess it's normal that you want to make these dates as interesting or memorable as possible, but that's really not the point. The main point is how she feels about you and whether if you like her or not. This takes time to figure out. So it doesn't matter if the dates you have are absolutely amazing or just flat out boring. As long as you can know more about her and enjoy listening to her talk about herself, you are right on track. If you pursue true Love, then things between you and her will just gradually become more enjoyable and memorable, even if you end up as normal friends.