mandyjw

❤

We didn't come here to live perfect lives, we came here to live through the contrast of good and bad, wanted and unwanted and to realize that we are beyond those conditions. JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter into the story as an orphan raised by people who didn't understand him, with a bank vault full of gold and magical powers hat he never knew he had. This is all of us. We aren't REALLY what we appear to be. We aren't really the boy who doesn't know who he is, we aren't even the boy who DOES KNOW that he has wealth, fame and magical powers, we are the unknown author of the whole story, the creative power behind it. Living through contrast in our lives creates new desires, unique desire. When we see the "why" behind the senseless inexplicable contrast we've lived, we start to channel an unconditional love that has the power to improve the lives of others experiencing the same. We find that we have the power to pave the way for others and we see that others in the past for hundreds of years back have lived and died and paved the way for us. The essence of who they really were IS us and they are still cheering us on, because there are no separate authors. When we tap into the create power that we are, the contrast starts to make sense to us beyond the senses only because we aren't looking AT it anymore, but because we're in our power, and we've gotten out of the way of that power that we ARE it. There is nothing, NOTHING to be ashamed of.

Mental illness is just an opening in the mind. However the ultimate truth is that there is no mind, there is only pure openness. However someone with mental illness can be prone to suffering, because they can still be prone to other areas of the mind holding beliefs and false interpretations. Suffering is an indicator that thoughts should be discarded, the truth or validity of a thought, the measure of clarity is in how you feel. When someone understands that their mental illness is a gift, an opening, and they pay attention to how they feel, they are much more able to find true clarity in it. They find they can reach through that open window so to speak and channel something true or beautiful through it, rather than suffer with delusion. Truth is love, and how you feel indicates the clarity of your thoughts and interpretations of them. There is a tendency to get stuck when people are told and believe that mental illness is equated with suffering, and that people cannot know things they have no physically explained way of knowing. Then it can be easy to get stuck in a cycle of suffering because none of these things are true, and if you were given a gift and tried to desperately get rid of it, your guidance would tell you that's just insane.

The problem isn't sugar, fat and salt, it's the requirement for it, the engineered everydayness of it, the desensitizing of taste which actually diminishes the enjoyment of the very thing that was meant for pleasure. Ironically if you really want pleasure from food, you use taste artfully and consciously as components, not requirements. The food does not "have" taste. What tastes the food?

Forgot to post this.

@Nahm Haven't seen any of the Batman movies, but I used to love this song before I bailed on Christianity.

I have a very high energy dog, basically have to run him offleash every single day. We go out rain or shine. Sometimes when it's raining hard instead of running off and exploring on his own he sticks right to me running side by side with the perfect heel and looks up at me for direction. I imagine it's as if he's saying, "Ok, I'm out here just for you, look how loyal I am." But I'm thinking, "I'm out here for YOU!" and neither of us knows anymore who is here for who, doing what for who. Yeah, I think it's something like that.

Eh, I guess we like that kinda thing. The devil is goatman, a centaur horseman, sphinx lionman, etc.

Young men in their 20's are more vulnerable to accidental death and injury than the rest of the population, possibly due to later frontal lobe maturity. They may be less able to accurately calculate and avoid risk taking behavior. Psychedelics and some interpretations of nondual understandings or existential truths can pop you into a state of realization of complete invulnerability, and so sometimes this is explored and acted on. The combination can potentially be, well, not great. Not ALL men in this age group are like this. Some are very aware of risks, living in fear, emotionally paralyzed by them.

Currents, current, currency. The current in the ocean is a pattern to the observer, something it can know or predict. But the water that flows through is never the same. You never step into the same river twice. There is no same water, or different water.

This morning I tried assembling a shelving inside a cupboard, because my brilliant engineer husband designed a GIANT cupboard space with a teeny, tiny little door. I found myself flipping it around, couldn't get it straight, smashing into everything, couldn't get the screws to line up. Wanted to smash everything to pieces. Took a two minute break, emptied the entire cupboard, went back to it and BOOM, it all went together perfectly. That's what meditation (or any kind of dropping resistance of focus on the problem) does for us. Seems like giving up, but it's not, it's just letting in the solution. ❤

My daughter was watching a kid's YouTube video this morning about superheroes and it said, "some superheroes don't have any special powers, they're just rich", (Batman).

Sorry, it was probably super confusing how I worded it. I don't mean that you're actually selfish, just that there is nothing selfish in knowing what you want and being clear about it. Ironically, wanting other people to feel great is selfish because it makes us feel great. No problem with this, but it's good to be conscious of it. Focus on what you DO want, not what you don't want. It's when we focus on what we do not want that we end up accidently creating it. So when we focus on feeling good and being around people feeling good, it's a very different thing than being afraid of hurting someone. By the way, this dynamic of not wanting to hurt people with your truth will follow you throughout life, outside of friendship and dating realms. It comes up when you're hiring or firing a contractor to do work for you, finding a daycare or babysitter, running a business, etc, etc.

@ZenBlue Yeah, I definitely see the need and potential even if it's not so clear to me how it will all work. Thanks for sharing this. ?

This one is so packed full of good stuff it's crazy.

Really interesting. That's something we have needed for digital products for a long time, for example I can buy and sell used books on eBay, but when I'm done with a kindle book, too bad.

The other thing to pay attention to is that we aren't really considering their feelings, even if we think we are, we're actually just considering our own. We don't fear hurting them, we really fear that if we hurt them, we will be hurt too. We will feel bad about ourselves, we may lose the company of someone we really liked. Especially for women in worst case scenario, we may even put ourselves in a dangerous situation. Especially for women, the need to be liked can reach levels of paralyzing fear. Once you realize that acting selflessly is inherently selfish, and start paying more attention to how YOU are feeling, we attract less of these situations. If we're too nice at the start because we need people to like us, we give people the wrong idea about our interest in them much more often. When you're authentically you it's its own reward within itself. ❤

In my experience the fear of hurting their feelings makes it worse, because you aren't relaxed enough to communicate well, honestly or authentically. That's all you can do and if you hurt their feelings anyway you have to realize that you do not have control over how they feel. This can be an opportunity for them to realize this as well, their happiness is not a result of you acting perfectly all the time. We do not want fake relationships with people based on avoiding hurting each other, we want honesty, we want vulnerability, we want the real thing. This goes for friendships and romances. Even if you oblige them by pretending to be kind and sensitive to their feelings, they will eventually become discontent and hate you for it anyway. Real love has a bigger vision than that. We live in a world that tells us happiness is found in things, circumstances and relationships. And yet we look to relationships to reeeally deliver this to us, when it reality all they can do at their best is break this illusion. It's both heartbreaking and beautifully healing. “Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.” -Rumi

Interesting but I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it. I buy books on Kindle so I have access to them. I pin things in pinterest so I can enjoy them in one place, and refer to them when I need ideas and inspiration. It's not about ownership it's about access and organization, and curation. I don't care what other people think of the things I enjoy, unless they are inspired by them as well, I just enjoy them. Asides from curation purposes (creating WITH creations) I don't see the appeal, but actually now that I think about it my entire business currently is selling collectible creations to people for the fun of them rearranging and creating with them. Huh. I dunno.

Love is not a commitment that exists over time, an agreement that you make to honor and uphold forever and ever. It does not need that effort from you. Love feels like love, love is only now. You can love the idea of love, or you can BE love. In truth, both the idea and the being are love but the thought love seems to have an opposite. There is nothing lost in letting go of the idea of love except the fear of or presumed possibility of its opposite or absence.

Something else? I dunno, I felt a pull there to stay right here. The whole cycle of misunderstanding is "I am bad because I feel bad". "I don't feel bad", this is what teacher tells me. Is this denial? Gaslighting? Teacher tells me feeling is guidance, it is Love. Teacher tells me I am Good, or I don't exist. I only notice the dissonance. I feel bad. I must be bad. If I'm not ok with feeling bad, I wouldn't be ok with others feeling bad either. I feel so bad about others feeling bad, I'd throw myself under the bus for them. I am the bus. You see...! I didn't see this. I didn't see the doing it to myself nature of the bus. Why would I do this to myself, cause I'm bad? I'm dumb? Ha, this is what creates the cycle. I AM bad. I feel bad. I AM bad. I feel bad. Feeling always tells the truth, and I don't listen (or feel) I insist that I am bad. I have so many flavors of bad. The crazy one. (Best with rainbow jimmies.) The stupid one. The inept one. The naïve one. (Best with gummy bears.) The evil seductress. (Best with whipped cream) The ugly one. The attention seeker. (this one is really fun because you are using your own attention to seek attention.) Oh shit. The awareness is always there. The awareness is the creation of it. Beware. Be aware. I've never been attracted to anyone in my life. I spent my entire marriage mad at myself for marrying someone I wasn't attracted to. What kind of person does that? A bad one. What else did I think I wanted? I wanted to be attracted/attractive. Why couldn't I have all the circumstances how I thought they should be? Because there is no such thing as attraction because I am the creator of it. I told my husband all about this and these patterns on the way home from the trip. For the first time I felt like I could honestly express myself without creating more conflict. I'm embarrassed of our relationship, of how it looks. We make no sense together. People come up to me and don't understand our relationship. (I create this too.) But if I'm honest there was some pretty intense attraction, it was just a very spiritual, true friendship flavor of it. Not like you see in movies. And I've never been able to separate God, teaching, or attraction. I thought something was wrong with me for this. Of course!!! There is no God. There is no teaching and here is no attraction. I've been trying to hard to see from the outside in, what was perfect from the inside out. I had my priorities in perfect order, so long ago, and thought I should rearrange them for the sake of the world and appearances sake. But it turns out that the world is just an appearance unto itself.

We went on a short trip this weekend and it was really fun but also made me like being home a lot. I guess that's the point of going away, I don't know. Yesterday I was feeling exhausted and low and went out to make a video anyway, mostly following intuition. As I was explaining what I had felt led to explain, the realization of why I have equated the devil or being bad with teaching for so long (like early childhood) hit me. I brought up the memory of my first reaction to Eckhart Tolle, the reaction of anger, disgust and judgement. I realized that I saw how funny it was now, how profound. There's no such thing as attraction. (And again, I was not expecting THAT. ) My repulsion WAS attraction that I misinterpreted. Have I not experienced this time and time again? I thought I could somehow be likeable enough to avoid provoking these reactions myself, when these reactions are strong because they are from Source. I thought I could be smart enough to avoid them. In reality, this just ended up with me avoiding my own Source. Feels good to be home, even if the place is a total mess.

? ❤Thank you!

I would say materialism is not explicable or useful, because there is no "body" that it is explicable or useful for. It just creates the very notion of use and waste, worth and worthless. There's no where to leap for faith itself, it's already right here.

I can't conceive myself. conceive (v.) late 13c., conceiven, "take (seed) into the womb, become pregnant," from stem of Old French conceveir (Modern French concevoir), from Latin concipere (past participle conceptus) "to take in and hold; become pregnant" (source also of Spanish concebir, Portuguese concebre, Italian concepere), from con-, here perhaps an intensive prefix (see con-), + combining form of capere "to take" (from PIE root *kap- "to grasp"). Meaning "take into the mind, form a correct notion of" is from mid-14c., that of "form as a general notion in the mind" is from late 14c., figurative senses also found in the Old French and Latin words. Related: Conceived; conceiving. https://www.etymonline.com/word/conceive