mandyjw

Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for "God/nothingness" will save it.

I found the comment I wrote last year, it was on the follow up video. "Light on Earth1 year ago I somehow managed to link into your experience watching your video yesterday, and I'm still amazed at how it happened. I'm a mom of two young kids and have never taken drugs, never smoked pot, have never even been drunk. I love your videos and have been following them for more than two years but I skip over your videos on psychedelics because even if I chose to experiment with them it's definitely not an option for me right now. I mostly follow Eckhart Tolle and various other teachers like Pema Chodron and to be honest I have a lot of judgements and reservations about your methods. I started out watching feeling disgusted and a bit embarrassed for you with no intention of finishing the video, then I started finding the entire thing really funny, then I just felt nothing and watched, then I felt attracted to you, then a sense of deeper love and connection and then the I am God, you are God, we are God realization. The feeling didn't wear off. I had maybe the best day of my life yesterday though nothing notable happened, and I still feel like the realizations stuck. Maybe you take psychedelics so the rest of us don't have to? Parts of your video yesterday reminded me a lot of Eckhart Tolle to whom I've listed for hours upon hours, the pauses in speaking, the holy shit epiphany things that you said, but there was an energy that's not there with him. Enlightenment is as simple as being one with the present moment. All concepts about enlightenment that entertain the past or future or the concept of an enlightened one are hypocritical jokes, a joke that points it's finger back at itself, a strange loop. REPLY Actualized.org1 year ago I can tell that psychedelics would transform your life. If you just opened yourself to them. REPLY Light on Earth1 year ago I've found that if you bring awareness into any naturally "altered" state you can come away with new realizations. For me these have included getting the flu, passing out after slamming my finger in a door, a runner's high after running in extreme cold, etc. As a nursing mom I'm still not allowed to take pepto bismol or cough medicine, so trips are definitely not an option for now. Part of being open minded is being very aware of your biases which I do my best at so who knows what the future holds. We're all on a unique journey. But the same journey. ;)" I'm a bit embarrassed for myself now. When I watched it this time it was instant connection/realization of truth.

@tsuki Out of the vortex, there is. In the vortex, no.

I can only do that from the vortex. The vortex is me. I don't do it. My life is not my own. I'm here to do God's will. Not my will.

Hmm... seems to good to be true. You can have your cake and eat it too?

I've done that, I can do it. I'm just... not 100% sure we're always meant to do it. I don't believe that it's a "should." What do you think, should someone who is enlightened not get sexually aroused? Honestly, I don't know the answer

@tsuki Ok, what do I need to do?

@tsuki At the expense of the positive ones?

You are the body. You are the body of Christ/consciousness. You must eat the body of Christ (communion).

@bejapuskas When I overeat I also oversleep. Yeah electronics are problem. You can wear those blue light blocking glasses if you want, they might have the added benefit of making you feel so stupid when you wear them that they also burn up the ego. Maybe I should get some.

@tsuki Yes, it's a deep flow state. I just feel like I did most of the time before when I fall out. I identify with being annoyed or whatever other negative emotion comes up.

"Explosion of energy in my chest", Leo, you busted open your heart chakra buddy. "The mindfuck to end all mindfucks"

@Preetom I'm alone in my workshop right now. Yep this is still pure gold. This time I thoroughly enjoyed the start of it. "It's called Youtube, Metube, Ustube, Wetube, we all tube for Youtube. Of course." the perfect strangeloop

@zambize Congrats on the job! I love that song, never heard it before. I used to really love Foster the People, it reminds me a lot of their stuff.

@Leo Gura I know, but when I watch this it disappears. I want to see if it will happen again. I'll let you know.

@Leo Gura I still remember that video you made spontaneously when you were on a trip, I keep thinking about it. At first I had such a negative reaction but by the end I experienced this intense oneness with it and stayed in that state for hours after. I remember commenting that I had little kids and can't do psychedelics right now but maybe you do psychedelics so I don't have to. I think I'm going to go watch this again now.

The thing that you "did to me" was open me up to the vortex almost completely. Now, I only fall out occasionally, and when I do it's bad. I have to be careful with myself when I get tired or triggered. Instead of walking around like a dead person 90% of the time, living in drudgery and in getting the next thing accomplished I walk around in the vortex, confident, the words flow, I look people in the eye, I know what to say. This painfully shy girl is now an extrovert who puts smiles on people's faces. I attract people like a woman in love attracts men to her when she doesn't want their attention anymore. People don't want me to leave, but I know how and when to end conversations for the first time in my life. Inspiration is there at the snap of my fingers.

I've had access to the vortex my entire life. When I listen to a song I really love, when I'm inspired and create something without drudgery or doing. When I write something I'm passionate about and the words just flow. It's like it comes from a place of passion and love and it's so intense that it HAS to be created. It's channeling. It's when I run through the woods on really rough trails but I never ever miss a step and I run fast and gracefully and don't even give notice to the obstacles. It's like God is with me. I'm doing his work, he's using me to do it. I've given myself up to God and therefore become God. This is presence, this is the ego-less state. Mediation, presence and quiet mind only prepare the ground for this to occur.

Too much focus on authenticity makes one inauthentic.

@tsuki Because when you are a powerful creator and you aren't intentional about creating and you don't strive to create from within the vortex, you create destruction. You serve the law of entropy, not creation. Is that what you want?

@tsuki You did leave the vortex. You're fooling yourself. Why? The coworkers attitude would have been enjoyable as it usually is if you had been in the vortex. Presence is different from the vortex. Presence is being, the vortex is about creating. You went to a place of desperation rather than creation.

@Colin That makes me physically nauseous to read that. Wow. My floaters appeared after a really pivotal and intensely painful event in my life. Of course. Thank you.

Oh, I've really outdone myself this time. 80's COUNTRY music. Around here most people like country music, it's a very conservative Christian, blue collar country bumpkin kind of thing. It's simple. It's made for simple people. I hated it my entire life but I had a really long bus ride, over 2 hours everyday were spent on the bus and the bus driver ALWAYS listened to it. I brought my CD player and listened to my 80's rock, Elton John, whatever I had. Eventually I ran out of music, I'd forget my CD player, the batteries would die, etc. I started listening to the country music, this was about 3 years of riding the bus. I thought I was going to go crazy, eventually I surrendered to it. By my last year of highschool I learned to like country music. I started choosing to listen to it, finding old songs I liked. That phase lasted a couple of years. Then I grew out of it. I don't really hate it and I don't really love it anymore.

@tsuki You fell out of the vortex and let it spiral. You need to learn what interrupts that state and what puts you back in the vortex. Listen to Abraham Hicks. Or my 80's music, that'll do it. You're powerful and you're a powerful creator. You need to get control and stay in the vortex, it's more important than ever. I'm learning to do the same. My money situation has been weird too. It's like I'm barely working lately, paying a lot for daycare and sales are slow. And yet the money is somehow still there to pay all my bills.

@Colin You're probably right. I've had such a bad relationship with them I hadn't considered that. I have one that's balled up and looks like a dark spot and settled almost right in the center of my vision a lot .