mandyjw

There is nothing to gain and no one to gain it. Because you believe that there is a thing you want that you don't have, you only see the void between you and it. Harry Potter didn't overcome Voldemort. He also didn't earn millions of dollars for his fame. He isn't REAL. Is that fucking retarded? Maybe. But also pretty brilliant. You aren't here for yourself. You're a part of the Mind and intelligence of the whole, and unless you stop seeing everything from that specific limited character's point of view, then yes, it all seems fucking retarded. Voldemort killed my parents. Booo. My parents are filthy rich. Booo. Jesus Christ, why would you want that? That sounds boring as fuck. Me, I love drama. I love a good argument, a nice bout of depression. Construction zones and summer traffic. Rainy depressing days. No one appreciates summer without the winter. No one appreciates winter without the summer. This is about "hacking" your beliefs and set points to appreciate everything. If you continue to hold yourself to a standard of what you think happy is, you'll miss it as it is. Do you realize how incredibly blessed you are? Do you realize to stumble across this forum, Leo's videos, Nahm and know about enlightenment at this age, how fucking insanely lucky you are? One top of that you have a secure supportive family. I get it, no one wants to be told how lucky they are. I've been there. I'm also insanely ridiculously lucky and still get depressed. Reminding myself how lucky I am only makes me feel worse. But acknowledging that none of that "stuff" really is as important for my happiness as I thought, is incredibly freeing if you can see through to that truth. You couldn't fuck this up if you wanted to. Let me say that again. You couldn't fuck this up if you wanted to. A for effort though. Sit back and just fucking relax already, you're going exactly where your wanting to go already. Stop complaining about the speed of the train, you're not driving. Do you realize how incredible God is to let you have all of these things and still give you the freedom to not be happy in the having of them? It's not ever about what you have. Even happiness. Even the state of happiness. It's not ever about that. Let go of the "need" to be happy. Enjoy the poignancy of your depression. As soon as you do, it's gone. Life is so strange like that. If it was really a complete joke then you'd be laughing hysterically and blissfully, not complaining that it's not funny enough.

@Raptorsin7 If you were writing a fictional book and the main character was you, would you not give yourself any challenges? Would your life be perfect, happy and fulfilling from the first chapter on? Would you want to read that book? Would you want to live that book?

Hmm... I may have missed some of the humor there until now.

@Nahm Who is that, Tom Cruise or something like that?

Me before awakening experience. "Chakras are BULLSHIT." Me during awakening experience. "Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me about this, I'm an idiot. OMG they are real!! " Me after awakening experience. "OMG I think my heart chakra is blocked again, how can this be?" Me long after awakening experience. "Chakras are bullshit." Basically the whole awakening process is just a huge party celebrating my own personal idiocy. And I'm kinda into that.

When you don't know anything you're deadly. Silent but deadly.

This was playing on the radio at an opportune moment today. " "Give me a sign......"

@lostmedstudent I think I read somewhere else that you run a lot, is that right? Running is really bad for flexibility, unless you stretch really well after. You'll also be able to stretch further naturally right after a run.

"Is that a mug with your face on it?" My husband and I are complete opposites in a lot of ways. I've realized that when it comes to raising kids together, it's a huge strength, you give your kids a lot of well rounded interests to choose from. Also with some of the major decisions we've made together it's been a huge plus to have different skills, I can read people a lot better than he can, but he can stay calm and emotionally detached much better than I can. No one wants to be with someone just like them, it's not interesting (or challenging ) at all.

@LfcCharlie4 Thank you! Super interesting, I'm getting more and more fascinated. Some strange synchronicity unfolding here too. Really glad you started this thread.

M: There can be no experience of the Absolute as it is beyond all experience. On the other hand, the self is the experiencing factor in every experience and thus, in a way, validates the multiplicity of experiences. The world may be full of things of great value, but if there is nobody to buy them, they have no price. The Absolute contains everything experienceable, but without the experiencer they are as nothing. That which makes the experience possible is the Absolute. That which makes it actual is the Self.

I enjoyed Christianity much better when I let go of the hell and other people going there belief.

Oh look, my favorite Lana Del Rey song from back then has 6.66 million views. *Slaps hand*

Stage rainbow of course.

@DrewNows Yeah, and 6 looks like the pineal gland, or they look like eyes, so the third is the third eye. There all all kinds of metaphysical stories and stuff. The number 5 has really cool meanings too, but all of them do, pretty much. I'm in the stage of the path where I get self imposed hand slaps for that stuff though cause I love it too much (the parroting Jim Newman stage ). Meaning isn't objective or permanent. It's something that apparently happens. Polly want a cracker?

Meaning. When I was a kid, 666 was an absolutely terrifying number. People who liked it were evil. When I was an adult it was meaningless. People who gave it meaning were ignorant and superstitious. Then I had a "revelation" on my 666th post, and a revelation about how the number was associated with me and how I had always hated that, and remembered the 666 on Leo's wall in gratitude for his part in my awakening. And 666 had a beautiful meaning. How were all these events seemingly over time possible? Because 666 has no meaning. When I thought it had no meaning, I was still giving it a meaning.

The lengths and stories we go into to avoid feeling are incredible. And those stories aren't even fun or intriguing. They have a pull but it's not that. I don't even know what to call it. Suffering? We're our own abusive lovers. When what feeling says isn't important to the mind so we beat it into submission.

If you spend most of your life avoiding or afraid of 666, then maybe during an awakening it'll turn into some sort of beautiful sign for you because everything you cut yourself off from or misunderstand comes flooding back in like a boomerang. Such is Oneness. Signs and symbols don't have objective meanings, you could say it's all about the meaning you give them, but how you define "you" can be a source of confusion there. When I was a kid, 666 was an absolutely terrifying number. People who liked it were evil. When I was an adult it was meaningless. People who gave it meaning were ignorant and superstitious. Then I had a "revelation" on my 666th post, and a revelation about how the number was associated with me and how I had always hated that, and remembered the 666 on Leo's wall in gratitude for his part in my awakening. And 666 had a beautiful meaning. How were all these events seemingly over time possible? Because 666 has no meaning. When I thought it had no meaning, I was still giving it a meaning.

One thing you could do is volunteer for an organization that sets up tables at fairs on in the mall for donations or educational purposes or something like that. You'll have a purpose for talking to anyone and everyone, a reason for being there so feeling like you're out of place won't be there at all, and sometimes really good conversations and connections with people just happen.

What is the reasoning behind no fats in the morning?

Sometimes we get a sense of security from following and sticking with one teacher. It helps to understand that there's fear as the basis behind that loyalty, and realize that more self love is the medicine.

Ray Boltz, the famous Christian singer is gay now, and Osho's dream commune is a Christian youth camp. This morning I asked for help with something didn't get it and had this rebellious thought come where I wanted to say, "I should have just listened to my mother and become locally renowned for my pie making skills like her instead of going into all this, whatever this is." Strange burst of synchronicity. I ran over a turtle, it was very upsetting and unavoidable. I have no idea what it has to do with anything. But seems worth noting. Picked up a newspaper. "For there is nothing secret that won't be revealed and nothing hidden that will not be disclosed." Under the header. WTF? Then an article on Don McClean and domestic abuse, he abused his wife apparently. The article mentioned Valentine's Day and wove in with something I saw a couple days ago. No one knows what the lyrics are really about, full of allusions and religious symbolism.

This hit me and I typed "Just Imagine" into youtube search. This song came up, after I was listening to old Christian music we used to listen to a lot when we dated. My husband used to play and perform this song. I never liked it that much, really but he loved it so I heard it so many times. I can only imagine. It's hilarious. Also a little sickening and disorienting if I'm honest, but hilarious.