meta_male

I’m planning a solo trip in June to explore parts of the Trans Euro Trail (motorcycle dirt road network). I love lakes and mountain ranges. The plan is to ride and film during the day and then hit some bars or social spots at night. I want to meet open, friendly people and be somewhere with a good nightlife for solo travelers. I'll probably stay in hostels. People who’ve been to both countries: what would you recommend and why? Especially in terms of social vibe and meeting fun, open-minded women. Also, if anyone knows of any events, festivals or gatherings happening at end of June, I’d love to hear about them ✌️

What makes you think that? @Kid A LOL. That could turn into an interesting sidequest tho...

Appreciate the detailed reply. Never met anyone from Croatia, but had a few touchpoints with Spanish people and liked the vibe I get from the culture, so I’m kinda leaning that way. Barcelona would actually be on my route, Madrid might be a bit of a detour since I’m limited on km cause of tire life, but it's not off the table. How's the vibe in smaller cities or mountain villages, not totally quiet? I'm not really interested in pickup, more just naturally meeting people and seeing where that takes me. And if you’re around when I pass through, would be cool to hang out 👍

It all seems profund and connected. But there is zero signal. If she wanted to give you a signal you would know for sure. Instead of analyzing ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime.

@JJfromSwitzerland Welcome back ir Schwiz! What are you planning to do work-wise?

There's lots of crazy unicorns on there. But yeah, this app is trash, there's better ones.

These women don't seem to be on Tinder...

Yes I tested it but didn't delete the account first, had it for maybe couple months. Not sure I can delete it clean slate without it remembering me next time.

I’m realising I’m burnt out from always being the one who has to initiate connection. For years I was the one trying to build a circle, reach out to friends, meet women, plan things. If I stop initiating my life goes quiet. I tried pulling back to see who would step up and sat with that. Mostly, nothing changed, I was just alone. I used weed to cope, which helped me tolerate the isolation, and even seek it. Meantime I've stepped away from it and without the numbing feel like I'm back at square one, only with far less energy than before. I’m not looking for dating advice or put-yourself-out-there type of answers, I’ve done that and still do, but I have less and less capacity to carry all the social effort myself. If anyone here has navigated something similar, especially after long periods of isolation, I’d really appreciate your perspective.

@CARDOZZO Not 130+, but every second swipe is a match.

It's an office job in planning industry, not too isolating but also not seeing new faces often. I had been isolated for weeks on end and it doesn't get better for me the more time passes. In what country is this?

That's funny, I noticed the same with extroverted people. They just keep planning and initiating, almost regardless of friction. One of those friends once complained to me about how hard it is to get people together and I remember being genuinely surprised. I assumed he didn't even register that part. Travelling solo is a good idea, somethign I never really got around to, partly due to being in relationships and partly low motivation when I was smoking weed. Yeah, you're right, and I've actually spent a long time there. I'm comfortable being alone, probably as much as I can be. This is less about avoiding solitude and more about enjoying being around people and wanting to socialise while noticing I have much less capacity to be the one to carry initiation all the time. Especially on days when I’m already low or had a shit day, and then also have to plan things, only to find people already have other things going on or cancel last minute. I've noticed this pattern when we hang out and talk about doing something a bit more active, some adventure-oriented plans, they tend to like the idea of it but when it comes to actually commit, plans slowly fall apart and I end up going alone. @Hojo Can you clarify what you mean? @Elliott Volunteering is something I've never done but it might be worth it. Have you actually built a circle through that or is it more meeting new people without much continuity?

Seeing "introducing her to actualized.org" as a milestone is concerning. Also you're investing heavily before you've even met. Introduce her into your life, not into an online belief system.

You have integrity. I wouldn't let a girl cheat on her boyfriend with me, that's pathetic. Most of my friends have ADHD, I myself probably have ADD. It doesn't matter though, you are not doomed.

My ex was an Aussie, I foolishly called her a cu** once and never again 😅

I love Australia, been there several times. Very open, very laid back culture. They roast you whenever they can... and then invite you for barbie and show off some redbacks in their garage. Nature there is like a minefield. You can be on a peaceful walk and get attacked by a magpie for no reason.

Try this: https://nomadtable.app/

There's a difference between accepting uncertainty and seeking psychological damage. You do not need to traumatise yourself to grow. Actual growth does not require being emotionally destroyed, that's spiritual masochism. Emotional overwhelm and trauma is not needed for insight. Women cheat, men cheat, so how come YOU don't cheat? Can you see from that alone that there are women who don't cheat as well? Plenty of people have a secure attachment style, work towards developing that yourself. You definitely don't need an ego death for this. Learn to feel deeply without using other people to regulate and stabilize you, go to therapy if that's not otherwise possible, don't drag this step out forever. That alone will put you in a much better position to meet healthier people. You can't think your way out of your current worldview.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Minneapolis/comments/1qlyj9h/i_did_my_best_to_stabilize_the_video_you_can/

Check out this youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@AddictionMindset

@Carl-Richard Being sober changes you much after years of consumption.

@Carl-Richard Possibly. Many of them say it doesn't affect them much, myself included. But it does.

@LordFall How's your social life? What's the reason you've tried quitting?

I felt this in my bones. My mind does shit like that too. Good work bro.

Yep, did civil service too. It did have value, but in hindsight it was just too soft and easy. To make up for it I now drink mud, skip deodorant and use pepperspray.