ZenSwift

It's better than google.

@Leo Gura there's no way you've done that, right?

I realize that I do not have an explicit enough definition of self Deception to identify my own self Deceptions. This has been a problem for me. As I would like to learn how to derive my own list of discovered self deceptions. Any pointers guys?

This needs to become a pinned post.

How does one build awareness around the moments they have negative self talk? I am having a very hard time finding any negative self talk in my direct experience, either my awareness is too sloppy or I don't have it. What are the best ways to install a new operating system of self talk? Great book suggestions are massively appreciated here.

Kambo is definetly on my to do list.

Noted.

How many days do you do the protocol?

@Leo Gura @Alex_R @Osaid @Sincerity @BlessedLion@D2sage You guys might like this report as well. Some similar juicy insights.

January 3rd 2023 Core Intention: What is Consciousness? Later intention: How do I optimize what action I'm doing such that I'm taking the right action every single time? How do I prioritize my actions such that I am doing the best thing in every single moment? >I've found that setting 2 intentions is a really good way to utilize the different states of consciousness you experience on your trips. The First Intention is the deep metaphysical truth you are trying to access that is only accessible when you are at the peak of a psychedelic trip. The Second intention is when you're still pretty high, where your creativity is high and you are still getting massively bombarded with one insight after another. This is where you can utilize this state of consciousness for working out very practical matters towards your life purpose. Dose: 5g = (1.49g Mazatapec + 3.52g Amazonian) (Grinded up into powder. Lemon Tek Tea for 69 minutes) I set an explicit time to start the trip. As that cut down procrastination time. Taken at 12:14PM I'm ready to go to war. >Every 5g trip is brutal Every time I go into these trips, it's a suicide mission. I'm like the joker jumping into a bottomless pit of monsters and demons with a gun pointed at my head and bombs strapped to my chest. NOOB psychonaughts listen to music when they're tripping. As you gain strength, you will learn to trip without any music. 15 minutes in... Starting to get really fuckin high while I'm on the the toilet lol. I always get the nervous shits before I blast off into my trips. Noticing visuals in the floor Amazonian mushrooms kick in way harder and way faster. I get a different flavor of visuals with every single strain. These are of course way more pronounced on the higher doses. Getting visuals of points in my visual field squeezing. For about the past 8 minutes I've noticed that I've been shivering a lot. Amazonian strain makes me shiver like crazy on the comeup. Insights, Observations and Musings Psych yourself out to learn better. Work out like crazy says that you're ready to learn WHAT THE FUCK the book is ready to tell to you. Do several burpees throughout the day to have your consciousnesses perpetually ZONKED and ready to get the knowledge in the book that you are studying. Have your state of consciousness zonked all the time by doing push-ups and burpees throughout the entire day. The best trips are always the hardest ones... Because that is where you grow the most. This is where the insights you get are hard-won. I continue to think about my death to release my fear that I was experiencing. I was naturally drawn to contemplate and think about my death. So I did. Fast forward to me lying down in my bed... For about 10 minutes I was in a daze thinking and visualizing about war. I was started to get convinced that Putin was going to come and kill me. After I snapped out of it, I was just in awe and went: "Wow, now THAT'S the power of consciousness!" The intelligence that we are creating is a power we can't stop. The evolution of God manifesting its physical expression of divine intelligence is a force we cannot stop. It's an overwhelming force. The universe will continue to become more and more interconnected and intelligent. When you think about how you are not separate from your environment, you start to realize just how much you are controlled by it. You are literally controlled by the physical objects in your environment. Objects are commanding you to live exactly how you are. All figments of consciousness is commanding you to be exactly the way you are. And you are a part of it. You are conforming to your environment in the same way that the shape of your toes conform to the shape of the shoes you wear. The ultimate accountability Partner: Hire an assassin to kill you in a year from now if you are a loser. The more I reflect, the more I notice that life is put together as a perfect poem just for you. I love being free. I am a Free spirit. When you're inspired by Death you will command yourself to live the best life possible. This is why we need to constantly reconnect with the reality of our mortality. God's Absolute Authority God needs no reason to decide what is sexy or not. When you have the authority, you can just decide, and then that's it. No need for a reason behind it. It just is. As god, I command what exists and what doesn't. When you made a decision, you don't need any explanation behind it because you're God. > I am still aware that I don't have any actual God Realization yet. Intelligence of God's Plan God has so much fucking intelligence he's planning your entire life. That mother fucker is planning your entire life to be fucking beautiful. God is PLANNING your life to be beautiful. Why the fuck don't you see that? When you do see that, you need to show your respect for him with every fucking moment, through your actions! God is giving you The Ultimate Gift by designing your life perfectly for you. God is saying: "You are the most intelligent motherfucker on the planet. Just you wait. I'm going to make a genius out of you. It's my master plan." God is TELLING ME how to be intelligent today! There are intelligent motherfuckers walking amongst me. Writing shit down forces you to explicitize it. That's the structure of writing. Structure commands you to have form. Imagine every single Concept in your mind as a person that perfectly embodies that concept. e.g. "Structure" is a person. Construct your entire mind as an army of different people. Design a tribe of people in your mind that perfectly defines every single concept in your mind. You can go and talk to these people in your mind to contemplate specifically about an idea. For example: Go and check up on the person that is "confidence". Have Concepts in your mind as different people. Create Tulpas that your can ask for knowledge on that concept. When I am Contemplating that concept, I am having a personal conversation with the person that is the full embodiment of that concept. Death is to bury you with diamonds. You should be proud to die when your day comes, as it is the capstone of all of your proud accomplishments of all the life you lived. Be proud to die one day. That will be the mark of your greatest achievement of living the life of a winner. Dying is just a temporary state of consciousness. God will help you die when it's your time. God will put you in a stage of consciousness to help you die when it's your time to die. How To Improve Yourself The Fastest: When it comes to self-improvement, there is so much shit to do, the question becomes, "Where do I start to give me the most leverage?" Key Insight: Upgrade your Hardware as fast as possible. Getting your mind right. Study Metaphysics, Epistemology and consciousness to give yourself a strong foundation for your understanding to be built upon. Study the mind Learn how to think. (Leo I really could use that video right about now. We all need it! What do you mean it is too perfect?) Learn how to use your thoughts. Give yourself tons of tools and models to put on several lenses of looking reality through Positive self talk. Train this. Learn how to Contemplate from scratch and derive knowledge for yourself. In other words, learn REAL PHILOSOPHY, as Leo explains it in his video. Rid yourself of Ideologies and Paradigm locks. Rid every single assumption about reality that your mind is attached to. Utilize psychedelics to have Psychedelic breakthroughs. Do Shadow Work - - Ridding all of the traumas that create a cloud of doom and gloom in your every day state of consciousness. Getting the machine of your body running properly Nutrition with your body Eating the proper Foods to get the nutrition you need avoid brain fog, among other problems. Supplementation can not replace a good diet. Heavy Metal detox. Sleep - You're fucked if you cannot give your body enough sleep. Sleep is the bedrock of a solid life. Exercise - You need to jumpstart the biological processes in your body to get everything working at an optimal level. Work out hard several times throughout the day, as then you will always be operating at a higher level. Wes Watson will have routines where he will do 60 minutes of cognitively demanding tasks, 40 minutes of monotonous tasks, and 20 minutes of working out HARD! That is a structure put in place to make sure you're running your hardware at an optimal capacity. Create systems that will facilitate your growth Create protocols and contingencies for when you start to backslide Being able to identify the expansion phase and contraction phase. Have a commonplace book Take tons of notes on everything. Document your behaviours. Study deeply on all the topics you need to understand. Create Self-Reflection Systems Journaling Vlogging Writing down and Dumping Your Thoughts Self-Reflection In your mind, See Leo Guras Video on Self Reflection, Contemplation, How to Do Real philosophy Talk To Other People, in person or on the Phone Etc. Write Manifestos and take on each endeavor as its own Project. This way you are cultivating the maximum amount of intent. Schedule in and plan everything like crazy. Schedule in an uncomfortable amount of structure to get as much done as possible. The more intelligently you try to keep your schedule FILLED, the more productive you'll be. Routines Routinely ZONK yourself into more powerful states of consciousness. Constantly put yourself into positive states of mind of gratitude where negativity is absent. Intense workouts several times throughout the day. Ice baths. Cold showers. Meditation. Kriya Yoga. Gratitude Practices within all these emotionally difficult tasks. Learn Positive self talk. Explicitize routines to the point where a single decision lasts way longer. Wear the same outfit. Eat the same breakfast. Have the same Morning Routine. Have the same Bedtime Routine. Focus on the activities that control your actions and direct experience the most. Two Great Ways to Prevent Shroom Hangovers As you do psychedelics more often, you train your brain to handle it better which leads to less hangovers. Hydrate like crazy. If you're not peeing every 10-20 minutes, you're not drinking enough. You should be drinking at a rate where the headache you feel afterwards never occurs. Put salt, lemon juice and a bit of sugar to supplement electrolytes. Eat salty chips to make you go pee less often. Random Thoughts Put Here Experience teaches people so much. It's the ultimate teacher. This is why an enlightenment intensive or a seminar can be the catalyst experience you needed. Imagine hiring David Goggins for a month and the experience that it would give you. You would learn so much! Study the structure of language more. You have to selflessly surrender your perspective to come to an agreement. Tattoos are a beautiful way to express your devotion to living a better life if you frame it that way. If you get a tattoo under the context that you got it as a symbol of living a better life, this can be a great catalyst of a totem. Enlightenment is way better than you can imagine. If you can imagine "a size" to enlightenment. God has made it bigger. When setting boundaries You need to have the courage to be an asshole to demand people to be better. For those that are struggling to find reasons to stay alive. I RESPECT you for a living another day. Post Trip Report Very crazy trip, but when I just lean in, I generate so many amazing insights.

This kind of trip report worries me so much when it comes to motivation for life purpose. Like, will I loose the ability to be a lean, mean, machine? Only one way to find out...

December 20th 2022 Have a goal to drink 1 litre at least every two hours Add in Electrolytes - A splash of lemon juice, a pinch of salt, and less than half a teaspoon of sugar. This will significantly help with shroom hangovers. Intention As I have been searching for truth, the question has naturally narrowed itself down to the following: What is Consciousness? Focus Consciousness on itself. What are you consciousness? Dose: 5g Mazatapec - Coffee Grinded to a Powder. Made a Lemon Tek Tea, it sat for 70 minutes. Didn't strain it. Taken at 2:23pm 16 minutes Getting yawns Getting high 22 minutes Bright colours, Visuals What is the bubble of Consciousness that I'm experiencing? And I am trying to inquire even beyond the limitations of that question. I need to really make sure to not be mesmerized and hypnotized by the visuals as I need to focus on my state of consciousness asking the question about what is the whole bubble of consciousness itself. 45 min Yes, LOTS and lots of Visuals. I forgot how hardcore The Visuals are going to get. Oh man I can't wait till stuff is just shoved into my face. It's actually a fun house. How can you focus on Consciousness when there's like fucking shit literally being shoved in your face?! Hands holding objects being shoved into my face all the time. For example; I'll think about money, and then I will have several hands holding bills and coins come to my face. It's such a funny scenario. 47 minutes I already got a tiny hand trying to grab at my fucking glasses. Note to self Never go out in public on a dose like this because you can get super excited. I noticed that I can get out of fucking control and I could really get myself into some trouble at this dose. Legal trouble. If I were to let's say go out and party on this dose, I could get angry and get beaten up or try to harm someone. I'm noticing that I am one to push a little bit because of I have a very liberal mind. But I need to remember to never go out in public on a dose like this. Even if I'm on the come down. Another important thing I want to train is I want to train meditating. You know I'm meditating now and focusing really well, but before out of fear I was just kind of laughing and walking around the apartment yelling "fuuuuuck" while I was on the comeup. As a very funny meta humor about the situation. Having no music is overpowered. It really lets you focus on what is important. 58 minutes My face is gone. I have become conscious that I have no face. Insights, Observations and Musings. God tells me "I am everything for you". And it just repeats over and over. Like how he is physically I think I broke through or something. I am having a hard time to fucking manage my attachment to physical matter. I didn't understand how much attachment I had to the idea of physicality. > I wouldn't call this a breakthrough. But I did notice that my ideas of physical matter was ripped apart on this trip. One thing I can do when really high is that I can especially on the come down, I can have a problem I can focus on. I can use this more intelligent/creative state to solve problems way easier. It's like having a second intention for the comedown. I didn't realize how useful it is to fully understand the conservative mind and the liberal mind. That has unlocked more life for me. Because you're a God, you command what exists and what doesn't. Today I have deep insights on Love, God, Authority and Relationship. Understand that when you are famous people are plotting their plan in order to hang out with you. When you learn how to fix the biggest problem people, they give the greatest intelligence in the world. I understand now why Wes Watson talks about how the people that are drug addicts are the special ones, they're the chosen ones because they have so much to bring to the world when they finally heal themselves. The toughest people to fix will bring the biggest intelligence of the world. The problem child has the most intelligence in him. That's why I was always drawn to the weird people in life because that's where the interesting shit happens. I am drawn to the intelligence that is in those people because if you can get those people to straighten themselves up, they become extremely powerful. They have the ability to become iconoclastic. I'm noticing metaphysically the only reason why I have a left and a right ear is because that is a distinction allowing me to configure where sound is coming from. But I actually have the ability to hear in a 360 awareness independent of my need to have ears. As sound occurs exactly where it is. You need to be funny to get your way in life. I have noticed that when you're at this high State of Consciousness you can watch other people living their lives and also other animals living their lives as though that they are programmed robots, and you're just watching them execute their programs. I've noticed my entire life that I Am Naturally drawn to intelligence. Be proud of your big ego/self construct. It's there to give you what you want. It is a necessary structure to facilitate to get what you need. Be prepared for every negative thing that is going to happen in your future. They are your personalized lessons ready to teach you what you need to know. The way you empower people is by giving them the absolute authority to control their perceptions. In order to stop giving a fuck about what other people think about you, you need to take your authority back. When you take your Authority back, you hold what is true in the minds of others. You command what people believe about you. You can always reframe something to a place of personal Empowerment. The more you study something, the more you add structure to your paradigm, the more you close your mind down to alternative ideas. Putting up structure puts up walls and will separate yourself. This is both good and bad. Use this at your own peril. For future trips, set a time to start the trip. As that will cut down procrastination time. As fear of the trip leads me to procrastinate. When you do the sign of the cross (Father, Son, Holy spirit), You are initiating a program. Why not use the same technique to help you initiate your meditation sessions or whatever activity really. I had the curtain pulled and I got a really good look at the elephant's ass today. I really shook a large amount of attachment to the solidity of matter and just my attachment of things being there. I realize more than ever the infinite power of the godhead which is an infinite field of Consciousness that can shapeshift into any form. >When I Start to do 5meo I will understand this more. 13 hours in, starting to feel the pain of come down. Authority I am noticing how powerful taking your authority back is. You can DEMAND what does exist and what doesn't exist. When you have the authority, you demand what exists at an absolute level. You as god can command what exists and what doesn't for you in your life. If waking up on time is what exists, then that is what exists at an absolute level. Command your acceptable existence on this planet and your unacceptable existence on this planet. Clear glass needs my permission to exist. Because I have the authority here, if in my mind, if doesn't exist, then it literally doesn't exist. Yes, if I move close to it it will start existing as I hit my head on it. How to Teach People Make them laugh, build rapport through that, that way their walls will come down and their mind will be opened such that I can deliver the messages that usually close minds. This is the role of the jester. I will give you the message that god is in you. YOU HAVE TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. That is how you get people on your side. >People that see your wisdom will still take what you have to say seriously when you play under a frame of seriousness. Just don't give away your authority by acting too much like a clown. I must become the best storyteller in the world in order to add into becoming the best teacher in the world. Tell Stories, make it funny, and deliver the wisdom. I need you to fall in love with the idea that I am one to teach you and instruct you. I want you to be craving my guidance and instruction. Become so valuable that people fantasize about being personally instructed by you. (Like Leo.) Post Trip Report In this trip I got a good taste at how uncomfortable it can get when you realize a deep metaphysical truth about reality. The next day I had Virtually ZERO shroom hangover because the amount of water I drank. The thinking is: The more I suffer towards drinking water, the less I'll suffer with a shroom hangover.

November 3rd 2022 5g Mazatapec strain - - Grounded up into a powder and Brewed into a lemon tek tea. Taken at 5:20pm Intentions What are you, God? What is Consciousness? Noticing momentum kicking in at 15 minutes. Floor moving at 16 minutes. Later... I'm listening to a Leo's "Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God" and there's motherfuckers Dancing On The Ceiling making me laugh. The room is moving. So beautiful. When you're at THIS high on five grams you don't even know if you're going to make it. Whether or not you're going to make it is on the table. Insights and Musings Really connect with a strong vision every single day. This is vital to living the good life. To imagine anything into existence, you have to also imaging the rest of the universe with it. In order for a piece of dirt to exist, it has to imagine the rest of the universe around it God's power was too great. God was too much today. it was too much. too much. "God is too strong today." I started to realize that I was going to live a billion lives. Making God the ultimate asshole for putting me through this. I keep calling God an Asshole making me suffer all these lives. And suffering every day to be better. It's in that struggle that creates the awesome life. Conflict is what brings the beauty of life forward. Life is all about conflict. There's so much beauty and intelligence in conflict. Every piece of conflict you have in a relationship is an opportunity to strengthen the relationship and deepen your bonds. The conflict around someone is what controls them. The conflict that's all around you grounds the context in where you are right now. If you want to really learn something. Turn it into a project. The more contexts I gather, the better I can teach and the more I learn. I can understand now why Leo would recommend studying everything I need to learn a little bit about everything so I have context to explain what I'm trying to figure out. Need to write more. the more I learn, the better I can explain, the more I can teach. The more experiences I have in life and knowledge about all these different facets of life grants me the knowledge I need to create comprehensive lessons, simply because I'll have more CONTEXTS to work with. I can probably awaken to context or something with how much traction I got with previous trips. Contexts Giggling at the beginning of the trip because my roommate was trying to study while I was getting completely blasted. Having fun Loosing my mind on the floor, punching the floor saying "Don Wildman!" Proceed to have the worst trip ever, like a boss. Mazatapec strain visuals is like a circus. It's a fucking fun house in here. Visuals of dicks everywhere. Dick's fucking guy's asses, girls deepthroating big dicks, super funny shit. Lots of disturbing shit as well. Poop as well. Crazy prisons and psychopaths, all this mad shit. Tip for Surviving Bad Trips Find something to think about and contemplate about, for example how conflict works. When you have a really rough trip you have to tread your way through by contemplating yourself through something. Create more context to ground yourself. Have something to think about to climb towards a better context. Having shit to think about will help you get out of a rough trip. Focusing your mind, solving a problem, trying to figure out the relationships between two figments of consciousness. Hold on. Just keep holding on more and more. you can hold on a little bit longer. Wait, be patient. Post Trip Report I had the worst shroom hangover of my life. I didn't sleep for the entire night. This can be fixed by hydrating properly, and taking the psychedelic as early as possible so that you can actually go to bed on time. Overall, Super crazy, lots of insane visuals. The trip was definitely empowering and allowed me to shed some more fear.

Date: October 10th 2022 Dose: 4.5g Mazatapec Intention: What is Actuality? Taken at 5:50 pm 12 minutes in Feeling a come-up. 14 minutes Kicking in, yawning, tired, etc. Getting into that shroom head space Eventually my contemplation of "What is actuality?" just dove into me asking "What are you, God?" To me, this was the same question as asking what is actuality. Insights and Musings You can't explain it. You either are conscious of it or you're not. When your hand is not in your consciousness, it it literally exists as nothingness. Void. Parts of your body that you do not see or feel literally do not exist. And then when you look at it then it spontaneously gets imagined into existence. God has the power to do that. And God damn. God damn. God is one fucking asshole, he had me fooled. The ultimate Illusionist. I have become conscious that I live in a mind. Post Trip Report Definitely Some mind-blowing insights into the nature of reality. Super duper fun to see god's power where he can just make things appear and vanish. Turn a corner and the room you were just is is gone.

Date: September 30th 2022 Dose: 4g Mazatapec Taken at 1:49pm Intention: What is Actuality? 12 minutes Still cold from my cold shower earlier. Shivering a bit. Feeling the anxiety of the come-up. But I'm also excited too so this is going to be a wild. I remember from my last trip, you kind of feel isolated. Like you have to just lie down and just get fucked by reality. Focusing takes some serious courage. 16 minutes Visuals trickling in Yawns 4g is definitely crossing a threshold. This is a COMPLETELY new domain from 3.5g. Very vibratory, like I am having my entire being vibrate at a higher level. The entire room is alive. Vibrating. Really kicked in now This is definitely a new domain of high. Like very fucking high. Very high vibration. Fuck loads of visuals. Neon closed-eyed visuals. I've noticed that the Visuals reflect your emotions. Like I will see faces of women in the couch for example reflecting an emotion that I am feeling. I was so High that I lost my ability to use my phone properly. Too much visuals and just too much context wipe. I noticed a certain point in my Consciousness where I come back and I'm able to use my phone again. Super interesting. It's like an instantaneous moment. It all just clicked in like all right back to the default homeostasis of what my brain knows what it needs to be doing. So when you do four grams. Well for me. I had a different threshold where it almost feels like the visuals entered into physical objects. So then when I looked at my floor and it was like crazy teeth everywhere and like emotion everywhere. It was like the floor was alive. Insights and Musings Have the courage to say "Fuck this life. I want better." Declare war on your life. Set a date for war. Make a plan to start being fucking awesome Challenge yourself to enjoy life a little more. I'm going to breath life into this bitch. How are you going to breathe into life today? I Want You to Breathe life into next week by working today. I have become conscious that I have no face and I'm just exactly what I experience. I can see this merge between me and the room becoming increasingly profound and deep. I've also become conscious of when I close my eyes my body is gone. Literally. And the rest of reality with it too. Within an instant, reality seizes and then comes back when I open my eyes Post Trip Report It was the highest I've ever been, and it was a whole lot to handle. But I got through it like a champ. I always desensitize myself to more and more fear as I trip more. I also get a lot of clarity and process things about my life. So that's good.

Date: September 21st 2022. Intention: What is Actuality? As serious and focussed as possible this time. (Shrooms are difficult to do consciousness work on, but still do a lot with getting rid of fear and hangups) Dose: 3.5g Mazatapec Lemon Tekked Tea and didn't strain it. Using chewable ginger tablets did the trick to eliminate Nasuea. Taken at 3:45 pm 15 minutes in Slight subtle background activity. Nausea emerging, take ginger to mitigate that. 20 minutes Kicking in Visuals. Shifting, melting tapestries. 27 minutes Kicking in more. 32 minutes The come up is kicking in. Accidentally mistaking it for anxiety but that's just my body energy shifting. Lots of visuals kicking in. The popcorn ceiling is doing all kinds of patterns as well as small gradations and light and Shadow are taking forms of their own. Slightly see 3D figures in my ceiling. My ceiling is becoming 3d. Very intense head vibration. Neon Visuals Strong head high. 55 minutes I was lying down in my bed thinking about my mother one day dying and also me dying one day. Feeling fear and feeling like I was roped down with vines under the tree of souls from Avatar. Whenever I feel fear like this I just lie down. But I also remember to physically open my body up because that helps the energy flow. Extremely mentally visual psychedelic. Makes me think about how hallucinations manifest. They start as a vivid, mental image that's not there, and then it slowly seeps into actual explicit manifestation. Insights and Musings I noticed a lot that we live our entire life THROUGH language. Through our thoughts. It's like the default position operating system. Language is something you can throw away. It's a manifestation of smoke and mirrors. You can just throw it away. This has allowed me to appreciate the value of living life in no mind. Or at least now learn how to use my mind beyond language. Don't let your ego structure define who you are. Break out of that mold. Construct anew. You need to be intentional about constructing your life otherwise your environment will construct a life for you. When you focus on what's actual long enough, insights come to you. You start to notice the Constructs holding reality together. Our past never happened. What is actual is the memories present in your consciousness. I'll say it once and I'll say it again, no-music Psychedelic trips are O.P.. Music is WAY too distracting. Put on music much later after the work was done. That's what I did, and I enjoyed a beautiful walk in the autumn weather with a body high to some great tunes, enjoying my direct experience or being a faceless field of direct experience, looking at the inside of "my head" that is my direct experience. My perceptions dissolving to the point where ego/self construct is subtracted and just being/actuality remains. While I was on this walk I was also appreciating the collectively held ego constructs keeping the city working as a functioning city. Really inspires me to dive deep into studying systems thinking. There is a beauty to understanding all of the systems of reality and learning how they all run together. Random Thoughts Imagine a heated cup that will keep your tea at the perfect temperature. I hate drinking tea that's not Goldilocks temperature. I'll call it the Goldilocks cup. Or imagine a thermometer that you stick into your tea and it beeps when it recognises the perfect (Self set) temperature for it ready to be drank. I hate drinking tea that's too hot and burns my tongue. Sometimes I like to believe I'm 700 years old. I'm an old soul after all. Why are we so ashamed to use so much water washing our dishes when we can easily use 10 times the amount of water when washing our bodies? Double standard much? Observations When I curl up in a ball I get visuals of tiny hands reaching out towards me. I also get mental visuals of electronics knotted up in a ball. Like a knot of tubes and such like veins and cords. At one point I was lying on the floor and I was unconsciously imagining myself as a crocodile ripping apart an antelope and seeing the guts spilling out. Wondering what it would feel like to be a crocodile that has to kill so directly to live. Mazatapec strain definetly has spirits and ancestors attached to it. I see shadow figures walking around. Figures of humans in my ceiling. Definitely would have freaked me out if I was new to psychedelics. So for a few hours I was just rolling around in regret, hysterical laughter and embarrassment at how I just fucked a guy 2 days ago. (I had to check!) I now identify as straight. Motherfucker took my virginity AND my homosexuality with him! I understand that I can get my rocks off to material that leans into homosexual territory, but it ends there, it's a hit of dopamine, a bump of coke, stimulation. I never have and never will feel romantically connected to a man. Sex is all about the emotional connection and what makes it hot is WHO you're having it with. Just the plain stimulation sucks. I can get myself off better with my own hand. Plus I just got fired from my shitty job. Looking back on it, it was definitely a blessing. Post Trip Report I'm noticing now when I close my eyes for an extended period of time, the rest of the world disappears literally. A mysterious void is now what's present. A float tank would be incredible too experience now. When objects disappear around walls, they vanish literally. What's in my consciousness has spawned immediately as a polarization of the field of the godhead. This will only increase in intensity as my Consciousness increases, as time goes on with more and more psychedelic trips.

This trip report isn't too profound in my opinion. But I am posting it anyways as I love documenting my trips. I get a few half decent insights here and there. Date: September 8th 2022 Dose: 3 grams of African Transekei. This strain is extremely potent for visuals. My mom is on 2 grams of this as well. Taken at 12:50pm Intentions: To have fun getting high with my mom, while also focusing on: What is Actuality? Bad Idea: Walking outside while high where there is a chance for a bear to kill you. 15 minutes Getting visuals. 50 minutes High visuals. Lots and lots of visuals What was going on I was walking around on a golf course with my mom being high on 2g, walking the dogs, being pelted by the heat from the sun, getting so much Visuals that I can't even see what's on my phone,while terrified whether there will be a bear to eat us. While listening to this song on dual paired headphones: We were unconsciously being influenced by this song while we were by the "bear hole" on the golf course. Lol. It was a goddamn MISSION to survive that day. It was incredibly beautiful outside that day. All the stupid shit I did today everyone will forget about it tomorrow. >It was very stupid and irresponsible. We made it back home safe. Insights, Musings, and Thoughts You can't explain what God does because language doesn't process it properly. Language does not process God properly. This is going to make a lot of sense when I'm high right now but it's not going to make too much sense when I'm sober. That's okay. "So like, I've became enlightened today. But I just want to go to sleep. I'm just trying to sleep a bit." >Did not become awake but I definitely hit some sort of peak experience because I was accessing a very different level of consciousness. "I became god today." > I did not. That was fantasy. God coats every object with love to make it work. I could see a cloud of love pushing a hand to make it move. No need to cry about anything. Just chilling. God communicates in a very divine way. Every time you do a psychedelic. Ask, what is God telling me today? God has everything to do with making you feel loved. One day you'll remember that you will live forever. You have to purposely forget about everything to focus on one thing. When it comes to focusing on a task, you have to forget about everything else. THAT'S what focus IS. >Leo says "The Godhead, the substrate of consciousness itself, is the superposition of every possible form. But then that thing polarizes down into the concrete forms that make up your present experience. " You as god literally have to imagine you forgetting everything to imagine yourself learning it again. >In order to understand as much as you do now, you have to purposely forget everything else. That's what God does in order to fool himself that he's not infinitely intelligent. >My mind was so open that I believed I could spawn objects, and that one day I'll become intelligent enough to do that. There's no need to spawn objects. All the ego structures are taking care of themselves. I could spawn objects. But it's a lot more fun to figure out how to do everything with everything having their own ego structures. When you reach that level of intelligence, the ego construct slips away and then there's no need to even try. Why create anything when what you got is right here. Its already created in front of your eyes. I always look for ways to respect my life through my actions. We are intelligent Masters trying to construct the most beautiful life possible. This is the best part of the trip. The gift is in the pain. It makes the distinction between pain and pleasure. Post Trip Report Going forward, don't go into potentially dangerous places while high. Don't leave the house on anything above 2g. >In general I see no point to do such things. Especially since I'm getting more serious than ever with my psychedelic use. The real fun is at when you're just chillin in your apartment contemplating about reality. Mom had a very good trip, lots of healing and clarity. The visuals were so crazy that my entire field of vision was just a fucking kaleidoscope.

Write stuff that YOU like to read. Write a fuckton. Write every damn day. Utilize Bone Writing practices. See the Book: Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

Hey everyone! I hope you are starting your new year off right and you are making progress towards your new year resolutions. What are your most anticipated pieces of content from Leo for this year? What are you most excited to learn about from Leo? There are so many new episodes that Leo has alluded to creating in the past year, it's insane. I'm super hyped! Personally, if I was to pick a few pieces of content that I look forward to the most, it would be the following: What is Clarity? How To Think. His 2 new courses 1) If I remember correctly, it's how to bootstrap yourself (Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.) 2) The super duper serious enlightenment course. Of course, in the far future I super look forward to his book! What about you guys? P.S. @Leo Gura, through your teachings, I am already noticing that I am slowly becoming a polished-cut diamond, and it feels like I'm just getting started. It's awesome!

So this idea of rectal Route of Administration was from this thread: One thing that I CAN confirm right off the bat is that the come up IS twice as fast. Anyways... LSD Trip 002 - My First Mega Download November 24th 2021 This is the first trip where I really let my self dial in focus on contemplating the nature of reality, and the rapid flow of insights kept me up till 6am. I think you'll find some very interesting things if you read this report in full. Also, I am letting you know that I am leaving many things in this report. Things such as stuff related to my life purpose that doesn't need to be shared for the purposes of posting it here. But to also distill it down to the most juicy bits. Also, the things that I find the most interesting, will be bolded, underlined, made bigger, highlighted, etc. >Lines that have ">" are written after the trip (A week later) Trip Report Intention: What is Context? So while tripping I listened to Guided exercise for realizing you are God. I need to take notes on this and identify each individual point that I have grounding my reality. >I know now that I need to further define things such as what does Leo really mean when he says Biology. >The reason why I need to further define these things is because when the idea is fully present, then that's what you know what you are letting go of. It's hard to let go of something that is vague. Which is why the ego must become more present in order to let it go. Woke up. Did an enema 3 -4 times. Dose: 50mcg LSD Taken @ 12:10PM, Rectally. ( Just put the raw tab in my butt, half a finger depth, nothing fancy, next time I might try to dissolve it in vinegar and then a couple drops of coconut milk [As Leo suggested in a thread] and see if it does anything differently. ) Proceeded to clean my room. I put my phone in Focus mode 18 mins Subtle energy shift in the chest? 24min Maybe some vibration in my chest? 34 min Kicking in Frosted glass is moving. Body feels different, Consciousness different The comeup is like a vibratory "anxiety". But it can totally just be interpreted as excitement. >The comeup is definitely twice as fast with rectal ROA, people have experienced the tripping time being cut in half as well, but that MAY or may not be the case. Because at least for my body I'm not sure how long LSD actually lasts for me, it could last 24 HOURS for me, rather than 12. I know that when I compare myself using THC edibles with my friend, 2 hours later after my friend has come down, I am still flying. 43 min Yawns Tired Pupils dilated 1h12min You can trip about contemplating the same thing over and over and go deeper and get more value. The mind is the net that holds reality in it. > I would now rephrase it as: You mind creates reality by interweaving a web of contexts. Without the network of the mind, reality doesn't hold. Without context, there's no reality. What you call "reality" is just a context. Consciousness is spawned in the moment. The moment feeling like forever is BECAUSE that is all there is. This moment can be whisked away thanos style, snap of fingers. Everything is being held together. In this moment. The eternal now. And at some point, it COULD just not exist. But yet it does atm... Opening your mind to the point of crazy is simply opening your mind enough... It's a double edged sword. It's that freedom of consciousness >When you open your mind this far, it gives you freedom to create any story about reality and it will be true for you. Which is why it opens you mind to levels of crazy, which is WHY you can EASILY believe that you are a prophet, because when your mind is open enough, it is simply the case when you make it so. When the mind is so open, you can write ANY story about it and call it truth. The amount of responsibility you take when you open your mind this much is insane. Enlightenment is simply just stripping all context. To the point that it deconstructs your ego, your self. All the ideas grounding you in this room, then all the ideas grounding you in the body. Then all the ideas grounding your consciousness in your head. >I think so. I have the freedom to imagine anything, yet the only thing that happens is this experience. Why is that the case? How do I get out of my head? >I still believe that "I" am in between my ears. I can see very clearly now that the ego is what gets in the way. It grounds reality stronger than an idea. 4hours in, still going hard Reality is just a tightly-knit context. So tightly knit that it feels real. It seems real. But it's a net of context. It's so tightly knit that the illusion is TOTAL. As you unwire each strand of the net you realize just how loose it is. Once you unwire enough strands then you realize that IT IS A NET. >You unravel the illusion. You becoming conscious is you becoming conscious of how Consciousness creates itself. Of how reality weaves itself into a net suspended up in the air with no ground. This full realization of all the contexts I create would reach a peak if my ego was dead. Which is why I see now the serious practicality of doing 5 MeO DMT. And I see how you need to be like there for a while to understand what the hell is that space. I need the neti neti method right now. >I listen to this right to hour 16, where I'm constantly pausing it and writing down more and more insights, keeping me up to 6am. I wonder how powerful it would be if Leo was sitting right here hammering me with questions about self. Like guided self-inquiry. I need to deeply understand what is Fear The search for the true self STARTS when you strip away all context. >This includes stripping away the contexts that you are attached to, which are the contexts that ground your ego. 4hours, 48 min Still going hard. Going deep as I can. Is the "I" present when this body dies? I feel like there's gotta be this big letting go moment. Like my ego is holding on. "I" cannot be sight because that is not ever present. Am "I" a constant? What is that? 5h Visuals in the wall still going hard The amount of concentration I have is unbelievable. I've built up an insane amount of momentum here. It seems like an ego death, an enlightenment is simply a momentum build up? I see how an enlightenment requires momentum. Which makes sense as to why Leo says that a retreat is what's necessary for an enlightenment. I can SEE now how much wage slavery can take away from this momentum. The things that you are alone with are where you're forced to be an expert on. To become awake, I feel like I just gotta do boatloads of self-inquiry for it to work. Patiently neti neti'ng myself over and over. Doing psyches to help during this process. The neti neti method is making you become conscious of certain things. What does it mean to open the mind? To get the courage to see the reality constructs that you create? Your enlightenment search is fueled by your curiosity in finding yourself. 6h 14 min I might actually be coming down now. "What is Context?" It's a perfect question to ask and trip about several times over. Why does the mind love patterns? Because of its ability to give your reality a construct. A context. A context is a pattern that is recognized. >A context is what grounds your reality, making your ego seem more real. The more contexts, the more TOTAL the illusion is. 6h 52 min Sobering up a bit? Still MEGA concentrated. What is Value? To create value is to create a suspended network. Value is a suspended network grounded in context, grounded in absolutely nothing. Why do I feel the need to be better than everybody else? Even if that means just me being better in my own very specific way? Is it because that way I will have a sense of mastery? A sense of accomplishment? At this point I was drawing and writing stuff down, trying to comprehend the magnitude of Leo's genius with his vision of Actualized.org. There is nothing to accomplish, yet reality pushes me in ways in order to evolve my consciousness. The way reality functions is it's evolution. There's nothing to accomplish, yet I'm stuck in a situation where I feel pain if I don't do stuff. An ego was created as a tool. In this tool is very useful because it gets things done. There's too much demonization of the ego. Rather it must be just understood of what it is and the role it plays. It plays a very important role. Without the ego it would be a lot worse in terms of getting stuff accomplished. ^^^but that is all ego justifications. Without ego it's okay if you die. >^The Ego is fighting Ego. I intuit that I must first build a massive lattice structure of understanding in order to get to that enlightenment point. 7h 30 mins Pretty much sober. But it's hard to tell because of the amount of momentum that I built up with my concentration over the past several hours. My head has been massively worked. After I am well versed in stripping away all of reality Constructs, that is when I will smoke 5meo, plug 5meo. At that point enlightenment will be easy to attain. "I" am a lattice structure. >The ego is a tightly weaved context weaved in itself. Creating the FULL and TOTAL illusion that it exists. Just like negative space art. >I am starting to understand how "you" are the triangle! >Each circle is the context that you ground yourself in. You can always deepen your understanding on every single idea, on every single word. You can deepen your understandings of every single thought. Is it possible for the eyeball to look at itself seeing? >Is it possible for consciousness to look at how it creates itself? >Is it possible for consciousness to be conscious of consciousness? 8h Still mega focused in thought. Deconstructing realities contexts. I need to patiently shake each assumption of reality loose. >Like how the brain doesn't exist. This here really helped me and I understand it a lot more now since I read it during my trip. And Even now I understand it more. >Also I think I now understand this more >Reality appears as it is, as itself. It it not grounded in anything. Whatever contexts that you project onto it is also reality because that is reality IS'ing as the context being projected through your rose coloured glasses of perception. Now I want to watch Leo's video, What is perception? [Checkpoint 1] >Reality IS ITSELF AT EVERY LEVEL. If you zoom in, it spawns as reality at that level, if you zoom out, it spawns at that level. But they're not grounded in eachother, they're not made up as eachother, but when you investigate, you can create a STORY that is the case. BECAUSE reality can be infinitely zoomed in, but it doesn't mean that lets say that your hand is made of atoms. Your hand is made out of itself, as itself, as it appears right now. >At least that seems to be the case... Your confidence is grounded in context. >SERIOUSLY! If you are not confident in a situation, change the context, and if you are able to open your mind enough to actually belive the stories you tell yourself, then that confidence will come effortlessly. [Checkpoint 2] >Which brings me to another point that I am starting to realize about the dangers of this work, and that is the dangers of deconstructing reality this much and opening your mind this much. If you are able to deconstruct reality to the point of throwing away all context to reach the absolute, then you literally lose your mind because your mind is a tightly knit web grounded in context, and when you start pulling the web apart, you lose you mind because your mind is a construct that is suspended in nothing. But also, more importantly, when you realize that reality is nothing but contexts and stories, you start to learn that you can easily write your own contexts and stories, and you can just as easily believe it as truth. Which is why it makes sense as to why enlightened people can see themselves as a prophet, simply because they lack ANY epistemological rigor in their understanding of reality. SO when your mind is that open, you can believe anything to your advantage, while at the same time forgetting that you did so. And because by DEFAULT you are epistemologically lazy, you default to believe the content that you have been fed by your culture, your experiences, your people around you, and most importantly, yourself. And in fact, that is exactly what you are doing RIGHT NOW sober, in your unenlightened, mind-not-lost state! But you are grounded in the collectively held social matrix that is your reality bubble. When you deconstruct your reality this much I see how it is so easy to write your own story. And how reality magically molds to your contexts. In which I realize that reality will bend to whatever context that you project upon it. Which is how you LITTERALLY CREATE reality. >Whereas Reality with a capital R is none of that, (Reality with a capital R )is an infinite shapeshifting infinite void of nothingness, and then your ego comes along and projects its contexts onto it, creating a reality (with a lowercase 'r' ) of it's own, as a TOTAL illusion, separate from the source, the absolute. The illusion being grounded in nothing but a massive web of contexts, suspended in the air. >I see now how everything in reality is simply a web of contexts, and relationships between these contexts, suspended in the air. A Network! >This idea explains the structure of Value, how value is a collectively held hallucination, think of how any inflation happens, that's only a result of the collectively held perception. Such as the dutch tulips. Value is nothing but a held perception. The "self", such as an artichoke, and you looking your self is like looking for a fruit in the center of an artichoke, peeling back every layer until you find nothing. Knowledge, how NOTHING IS KNOWN, and how knowledge is grounded in nothing, yet it exists, as a network, suspended in the air, in itself. Learning, where you realize that all learning is, is weaving an increasingly complex and interconnected web of knowledge, and how every idea leans against another. Culture, how it's a collectively reinforced massive hallucination. Paradigm, Construction (of reality), Perception. Language, such as how every word leans onto itself. Leo's YouTube channel. Why it is so valuable, because every concept leans on itself, creating a NETWORK EFFECT. This explains why every couple of months of studying Leo, my reality literally SHIFTS, simply because I have created a synergistic, network effect, connecting all these fundamental topics together, weaving them together into a strong net. This net of understanding start to take up a reality of its own. Everything, how all aspects of reality is just an infinite collection of interconnected networks. And how I am learning now that your life becomes better and better the more you understand this network because you are able to become conscious and appreciate the infinite beauty of GOD, Reality, Consciousness. I can intuit now how oneness can be so beautiful and powerful... >"reality=Network" - - (Notice how I use "reality" with a lowercase 'R') I could see myself surpassing Jordan Peterson easily. But Leo on the other hand... HAHAHAHA >How far I have come haha. I want to be able to teach as good, if not better than Leo does. You CAN'T have anything planned for your trips like this. Plans WILL fuck up your focus massively. The ENTIRE day has to be sanctioned off. Even if you were okay enough to go swimming later for example, your mind is still extremely sensitive and could be harmed with a negative experience and because of the sensitivity of your mind. It can sour the preciously aligned insights that the New Foundation was created upon. The only way I'll understand the massive amount of effort it takes to become a teacher as good as Leo is to go through the effort myself. The only way I'll understand how to make such a good teaching is by going through that process itself. That's WHERE I'm trying to understand what the process itself is! >I mean there's gotta be SOME practice routines involved in this process... >Zone of Genius work... >Anyways... To me it seems to be Learning a bunch of shit Interweaving and contemplating deeply about my understanding. Becoming conscious about a bunch of shit, such that I OWN the wisdom / teaching. Doing practice routines of how to teach it. Like just learning presentation and speaking skills in general. Teaching it. True spirituality is the most true "science". To invigorate spirit into your reality. True spirituality is truth seeking. Yo what the hell, I love truth seeking now! Realizing no self is like unwiring the Ultimate indoctrination. YOOO I fucking love religion class now. Leo's videos is religion class. I have to say that I'm becoming conscious of how your mind creates stories about everything. And how you just have to write your story to become the hero of your own story >I just noticed that I wrote down much more but it didn't save?? Fuck! > I had a lot of deep insights about manifestation itself, the structure of manifestation, and how it connects with this idea of a network. A self constructed, tightly weaved net, which is basically what all manifestation boils down to. Creating a net between your current net and the nodes you want your net to be a part of. Like the "Successful Youtube Channel" node, the "Great teacher" node. >At the end of the night at about 5AM, I start to think about pickup and how I would need to feel to be picked up, trying to get into the perspective of the hypothetical women in my mind. >My conclusion was that I needed to feel that I was everything. >I started to think about the people in my life, especially my mother, in how they make me feel like I'm everything. I cry at the love I feel. >I think of my Mom, and I text her how she is EVERYTHING I could ask for in being my mother. And how I love her very much. And that she makes ME feel like I'm everything! >I think of my best friends, and I tell them that they are everything I could ask for in a friend. > I think of my siblings, and I text them that they are everything I could ask for, and I love them very much. >I think of my dad, and how I want to say to him, that he is EVERYTHING that I need in a father, even though that is not the case at all, but I want to tell him that such that he feels love. So instead I text him that he is everything I could ask for in being my father, which is technically the case, rather than saying that he is everything >I think of Leo, and I think: LEO... YOU are EVERYTHING I could ask for in a teacher. I love you very much. >I realized that there is a deep connection with Intelligence and Beauty. Simple example, if your hair looks stupid, do it up, put more intelligence into it, then it all of a sudden becomes beautiful. >The difference between beautiful art and not beautiful art is the intelligence put into it. If you read all this, you are a real one. Trip Report Summary I'm learning about how your reality is an interconnected web of stories, ideas and contexts. I can see now that after building more foundation, I'll be soon ready for 5meo, as I see where it practically fits in gaining understanding. What's next? Creating a MASSIVE UNDERSTANDING of all these concepts The Many facets of awakening What is Love. Pt 1&2, Self Love What is Perception. What if reality was nothing but perspective? (The damn near opposite of Leo's video "What is Perception") Self Deception. What is Fear? Pt1&2 How To Discover What's True - A Deep Inquiry What is Truth? What does an awakening feel like Leo's videos on enlightement. Thanks Leo! Read books on what consciousness is. Study and create a network around the things I need to learn to actualize my life purpose. Contemplate What is Context? What is Relationship? That is my next thing to trip to? What is Beauty? What is Intelligence? What is Emptiness? What are the relationships between all of these? What is Love? What is Ego? What is Confidence? What is Value? What Makes a great Teacher? What is Learning? What is Teaching? What is Communication? Questions & Requested Feedback Can I get input on what I said in: (Ctrl+f) [Checkpoint 1] Where I talk about reality spawning as itself, not as an amalgamation of stories like atoms. I mention this a few times in the report. [Checkpoint 2] Where I talk about the dangers of unwiring reality this much. I mention this a few times in the report.

Additional Meta-Commentary on this Trip Report. Lots of additional articulations here: Parent Document of My Trip Reports

LSD Trip 002 - 50mcg Rectal ROA ~50mcg of LSD Rectal ROA Trip Report I was very excited to try out the rectal route of administration with promises of the trip time being cut in half, as well as a faster come up. Especially given the context that my first trip had taken over an hour to start to feel any significant effects. I was very pleased with the result with just how fast the LSD was able to kick in. This is my first trip where I really got some traction with contemplation combined with psychedelics. It showed me the real power of how to use psychedelics effectively to contemplate deeply about reality. The amount of insights that I was able to generate was astounding. It took me the entire night to write it all down. I stayed up all night until the next day. It was so crazy to have such a simple intention unlock so much potential. After studying the structure of language a tiny bit, I was really intrigued about the structure of knowledge and that led me to the intention of “What is context?”. I started to deconstruct reality to the point where I am starting to understand more than ever that reality is nothing but a deeply interwoven web of contexts. That's what gives everything its substance. “Reality” as you know it, physical matter, meaning, value, the mind, is all a cobbled together, tightly weaved net of contexts. Once you learn how to deconstruct these things, such as value, you can also learn how to construct them. In this way, you gain a little bit of God's power, for he is the one that has the intelligence to create and destroy. What I then learned is that enlightenment is just merely a process of focusing your awareness on deconstructing this web of contexts that makes up your direct experience. Once you’ve deconstructed your mind a sufficient amount, it will naturally lose its ability to hold water and you will naturally lose your mind. Through becoming more and more conscious of the illusions that make up reality, the more you realize that it’s all a sham, it’s all a game played by a master illusionist. This will lead to your awakenings. That is my hypothesis. I feel like when you strip all the contexts that you are attached to that is grounding your reality, you will deconstruct your self-construct/ego and all of reality around you. This is how you awaken. This is what psychedelics do. the more potent the psychedelic, the more it strips your mind of these perceived set-in-stone contexts. The reason why the ego NEEDS to go is because the EGO is the strongest attachment you have that is keeping you from the truth. It grounds reality through homeostatic defense mechanisms such as fear, anxiety, pain and suffering. It would be so counterintuitive to question the validity of your suffering because of how terrible it is to experience. Which is precisely the genius mechanism that is keeping you from Awakening. I realize the ONLY way you can reach these breakthrough experiences is by creating some serious momentum. Concentration and laser-focused intent is a vital skill to cultivate for this work. I've noticed that in my life, reality will have things line up just too fucking perfectly that will facilitate my growth. My own desires and needs are pieces of the great puzzle. When I play my part, I will further the evolution of mankind. I believe that there is way too much demonization on the ego/self-construct. The ego is an incredible tool that will allow you to bootstrap yourself effectively in order to achieve what you want in life. You have to be honest with yourself because you DO want things. If you're like the rest of the human race, you are naturally attached to accomplishing something, or getting some sort of experience out of life before you die. When you learn how to deconstruct the ego, you can learn how to construct it in ways to your own advantage. There's something very wise about being honest with yourself and knowing that the ego is an incredible tool in helping you get what you want. Ironically enough, to do all the work to learn all the shit you need to deconstruct your Ego in the first place requires ego. You need to get your ego on board emotionally so that you can do the emotionally difficult labor that is required. It's very twisted. On this trip I started to realize that reality is nothing but appearances itself. If you zoom in, yes you will see more divisions of this infinite fractal that is reality, but making the correlation that the small parts make up the big parts as cause and effect is an illusion that you have constructed and strung together in your mind to create a sense of continuity. This narrative and story is a total farce. Whereas the truth is that reality exists absolutely how it is at all levels without being grounded in any subdivisions. Each level of the holon exists perfectly without needing to lean on the other levels. However much you zoom in or zoom out of the holon, whatever you are looking at right now is how it exists at the absolute level, and it doesn't lean on any parts of the smaller holon or the bigger holons to have permission to exist. Existence needs no permission. I have started to really understand the importance of exercising epistemological rigor onto your insights and your contemplations, because when you open your mind this much, it is SO EASY to get deluded. Why? Because once you start to take your Authority back, the only thing that differentiates what you believe and what you do not believe is where you place the authority. I feel that too many people can too easily place the authority of truth in the mystical experiences that psychedelics can provide. Insights must be tested, and triple checked. They must be challenged. It is so easy to ground these insights in the frames that you've been indoctrinated with from your preferred spiritual teachings. If you’re not careful, you will unconsciously create a reality by imposing your projected contexts onto it, and because you are God, and you have absolute authority, your beliefs that you project onto reality will actually appear to be absolutely true. This is especially true if you don't have a good understanding of what absolute truth actually is. Let me try to explain that here. Imagine two lattice structures that are separated from each other. These two structures represent a web of contexts that are so tightly interconnected and interweaved that they are able to suspend themselves in mid-air as an actual “thing” Manifestation is connecting the lattice structure of your current reality and the lattice structure of your vision by building an increasingly thickened bridge between them. First, you must be able to fully articulate your current reality such that you fully understand what is going on and why things are going on because otherwise you will not be able to understand how to change any of it. Second, you have to work endlessly to Vision out how your life will look like with all of your accomplishments and goals reached. Once you have these two realities very vividly built into your mind, then you can figure out a way of how to weave them both together. The more connections and strands you weave between them, the easier it will be to take the daily action required to fulfill your vision. In other words, the more you see it, the more you'll believe it. So you need to take massive amounts of time to construct these two lattice structures very vividly in your mind, and then start to create a vivid bridge between them. The more vivid the better. As vague visions produce vague results. What is most important here is that when you finally create this Vision connecting your current reality to your ideal reality, you need to strongly identify the actions that you are taking every single day. What the fuck you are actually doing moment to moment is the most important thing to focus on because that is actually what gets you the results. I feel that it is important to mention this post as well: This is a relationship to be explored at a deeper level. If I want to make my life become more beautiful, I need to install more intelligence into it. If I want Reality to become more beautiful, I need to start to understand the intelligence behind it.

In this journal, I will discuss my progression in working with psychedelics with the goal being to work myself up to take 5MEO DMT. This journal will contain every trip report I create, so you can follow my progression, and see me overcome various fears, roadblocks and obstacles. I hope this journal serves you as inspiration to embark on your journey with psychedelics to one day do 5MEO (Assuming that is a goal of yours).

The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman.

Noted. I need to get that IPEC life coaching training sooner than later...