Breakingthewall

The thing is that 5 meo is not like a trip, it's a magic pill that dissolves the illusion. it doesn't take you anywhere, it shows you what is really there now. for me the horror of emptiness has been necessary because I was very attached (or am) to illusion. there is neither empty nor full, there is only kosmos. It is not something that can be digested in a moment, unless you are very prepared, years of meditation, etc. for someone who has not even imagined the possibility of nothingness, infinity, it can be horror, but that is because you have to become more flexible to be able to erase the veil

the illusion ends and you continue to be the cosmos

I would say that the i that you are dissolves and the being that you really are continues to be, as always. Since it is the entire universe, that your i disappears is irrelevant, but could be that that i is somehow reborn, or restarts with part of its identity, to continue evolving in some way

Im not sure if I understand what is shining light on the identity. I meant to stop to be you...to indentified all the thoughts that are forming your "I" , that basically are all your thoughts, and de-identify with them. take a step back and see them for what they are, an illusory construction, and go to the real, the here and now where the immutable being that you really are is. Everything that is not that is to go around in a circle even if it seems to you that you are moving forward. you think you have your ego almost fixed, and you are exactly the same as at the beginning. It is not a matter of improving, it is getting off the wheel. I think that for that the ego has to be really tired of itself, that's why I said that having a shitty ego is lucky

@Loving Radiance you ego is a mess. Normal, it's an ego. Trascend the ego is the only way. Fix the ego is working for nothing. If your ego is a shit, welcome. More reason to trascend it. Tell to you ego, your remembers, your mess: bye, as soon as you can

look at the cosmic orchestra where each piece fulfills its role, where each molecule is in its place, where the perfect synchrony exceeds the imaginable. kneel humbly if you grasp even a tiny part of its magnitude. but never try to cover it with your human mind, it's impossible

@VeganAwake well, ajata says: absolute infinity is nothing. something cannot come out of pure nothing. therefore something is really nothing. Okay... really nothingness is infinite and any finite "something" in infinite nothingness is 0 by contrast or division, but ... observe a bird closely, without thinking, just observe it in the precise present moment. you will see yourself. the pure being that exists, right here, right now, out of the time. Is it "nothing"?

Great that you realized. Now the question is how to heal it. In my experience, I tried to heal my ego by focusing on the outside. a lot of effort, a lot of discipline, interesting adventures, lots of karma burned, but little happiness. if you can avoid this stage better for you, although I suppose that sometimes it is necessary. it is more practical to focus on the Interior, rather than to heal your ego, transcend it, eckart tolle style, which according to what he explains suffered in an obsessive way similar to the one you explain, and in a moment everything changed. It seems that this is possible without going through a long way of fighting against the world. Maybe my recommendation is a bit irresponsible, but seeing that with 125 ug you have remained in the ego ... maybe if you double the dose you will jump, or if not with 5 meo. I hope you can avoid years of war and get into the love as soon as possible

@NondualesStudium hah I misunderstood you sorry to be so ill thinker. My English is far to be good. I will see that video, and explore Jed McKenna, I never read him. thank you! Edit: Im looking for those books of McKenna, do you remember the titles where he talk about those concepts?

What do you mean? Are you familiar with terms like respect, or open minded? Maybe you should learn them. I exposed those experiences to help and to share. Of course I know that some people could ridicule them...that's life.

If you know how big are the balls that you need for that, you know a lot. I haven't that balls neither, but it's no choice. The deconstruction is calling you since you were 16, sure at the end you re going to accept

That is. It's hard to loose everything that you know

I would not try to avoid that fear but to go deeper, since it represents something real, and also the key to the spiritual journey, the death of the ego. It is not only terrifying but in some way sad, but being is wonder and also there is no possible choice.

More or less the same than me. I think it's real...for the ego. In my case it's not like I'm gonna dissapear, its like there is nothing already, but the meaning is the same. Is your terror as an ego facing the reality. You are going to totally dissapear , became a zero. I take it as an opportunity . In a level it's a madness, horrible. You want permanence. In another level...it's the reality. We, as an ego, are nothing, we are going to dissapear. The spiritual work is to dissapear right now. It's terrifying but must be done.

@RedLine could you explain the experience? I have had experiences that I think may be similar with psychedelics. infinite emptiness, total annihilation, and the certainty that this is so right now if you remove the veneer of ego. it's pure terror and I'm working to embrace it. I have also had the opposite experience: I am the only immortal being, absolute happiness, the one who is , also here and now under the fine veneer of the ego. one thing is wonder, the other is horror

@James123 same for you and for all the people of the forum Wonderful 2021

@allislove very interesting. Both experiences are inspiring

@allislove i agree with you, the root of all suffering is the belief that I'm separate identity. I wanted to say that it's very difficult to break that belief. When I realize what I am with psychedelic , when the ego is coming back, is telling: being, don't send me a sickness, let me keep my body without injury, don't send me to the misery. The ego is strong. I know what I am but same time a part of me want to keep my 2 legs for walking. Maybe coz I had life that make me to figth, the ego is stronger., now I want to let it go because I see very clear that the ego is a trap and what I am is...the joy that you was before you had 2 years old. The being. But even knowing that is difficult, but not impossible of course, psychedelic are a gift, but not only, you need auto observation all time to understand imo

The problem is that you must believe that you are a separate identity to survive. The abandon is difficult when the Lions are running against you. I think that's why to trascend the ego is a very difficult job

This has the same problem than reincarnation. Who goes to the hell? Must be the ego. But the ego is illusory, it's formed in this life, is like a clothing that cover the being. But maybe it have a permanence after death.

Those desires like presitge , etc derive from the basic need for survival. and also of reproduction. those are the roots, completely animal. The boy in the cave knows that without the acceptance of the tribe he s going to die , and the adult feels the strong call of reproduction. Death and life , its normal that is so difficult to stop the desire. You need to trascend the animal

Psychedelic , and with meditation some times

insight happens when the river stops running so fast it creates foam and waves. when it stops for a moment the water becomes transparent and you can see the bottom. right away it starts moving again and the vision fades

the root of desire is the need for survival. Ending the desire occurs only when you transcend the ego and a) you become aware that everything that happens is premeditated in some way and b) you see the possibility of giving your life possible. What I still can't see is where the motivation to act if there is no desire come from. I guess without desire there is no action.

dream, illusion, material world, are only words. when you have an experience where you acquire the point of view of consciousness, it seems that a thin curtain disappears, and that the world and your person are empty dreams and that only consciousness is real, but when you return to the individual's pov ,consciousness , the emptiness, remain only in the memory and this world is very real. So which one is real? I would say that there is no need to make that distinction. What is, is. calling it "just a thought" doesn't make sense. perceiving without naming is more practical