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Everything posted by Breakingthewall

  1. I laugh alone more and more, realizing the reality. It's full, alive, wonderful, free.
  2. @Water by the River If you did 5 meo you should talk about that, for the progress of science. and if you never did, for the same reason you should do it. you are a professional meditator. You can contribute enormously to explain something very important to humanity. it's not a small thing! Forget "psychedelics", 5meo is the real deal
  3. Sounds true, a smart and clean path, few can do that without the sting of suffering to push them. did you ever do psychedelics, or do you plan to do them? 5 months maybe? it would be very interesting
  4. The only thing that separates you from the absolute is fear. fear is the capsule that creates the self. You can stop it with mechanical means, you have to overcome fear. work with psychedelics is for that. I have struggled with fear all my life, ever since I was a child. When i had 6 i already know that fear is that keep you imprisoned, because i grew surrounded of fear. There was a time when I was constantly doing things like wall climbing, hang gliding in extreme conditions , truly dangerous trips by boat, always the fear. It was a way of approaching something that I did not understand in that moment. perhaps wrong, perhaps necessary at that moment. It's fear that keeps us apart. absolutely not a drop has to remain. we have to be able to look the abyss in the face, without tricks, without subterfuge. give ourselves completely. Its not easy!
  5. What do you want me to do if this is the only thing that is interesting to me? shit, I'm starting to do what I thought I would never do: talk about this with people outside of this forum as if it were normal πŸ˜…πŸ˜… @Water by the River So You started to meditate seriously without having any opening until after a long time, that happened, right? Why you did? what motivated you? you and I are the ying and the yang, order and chaos πŸ˜‚
  6. Lets see, Maybe some discipline and work are the next step. The path is changing while it's being walked. Thanks for all those suggestions
  7. This never could work for me. My mind works is another frequency. imo any beaten path is a mistake, any system. you have to be absolutely independent, completely forget everything, empty your mind of any ideas, objectives, teachings, and see directly. I have moments of fusion with the now that they are real mystical experiences, a total silent comprehension of reality, but at the same time I continue to have trauma, although I would say that in the last week I have done decisive work. We'll see where life takes me. I would say that the complete fusion with the now in an almost permanent way, and let's see where the psychedelic leads me. Even i get a permanent flow state, id say i won't to stop using them, because is see a great potential there. I'm just starting, maybe in the first 10% of what it's possible with them .
  8. For me psychedelic are a tool for understanding. I think that's the key. Not conceptual understanding, of course. Understanding of the barries that veils. For me will and control are not tools in this game, because they are the walls. But If you do that, you strength the you. Because YOU are doing a effort, trying something, and that is precisely the barrier Yes , seems that this is the final step. Yes , it's a loop created by fear that construct a bubble that encapsules the moment creating the illusion of the separate self. Fear is the key.
  9. . The thoughts are just a manifestation of fear. You have to go directly to the fear, and forget the thoughts
  10. an experience of total openness to infinity with 5 meo is something that I doubt even mystics like ramana maharshi or Ramakrishna can access. It is something forbidden, impossible. It is not silence or emptiness, it is the essence of reality, it is total enlightenment, it is impossible. is the infinity alive. To be able to open yourself totally with 5 meo is not easy. the substance is not going to do everything for you. It is a big help, but it is you who must open up
  11. that would never work for me. I stop the thoughts whenthey stop making sense. Thoughts are the manifestation of something, they are not controllable. you have to understand where they come from, and open yourself up to it. Same, habits are a manifestation. Control the habits is a mistake, they have to dissapear spontaneously. I have 3 experiences with psychedelics that are completely different from each other and each one has a function: 5meo, realization of the absolute. this is essential. the absolute is unimaginable, an opening to it for 1 minute leaves a mark on you, illuminates your person, cleanses it. makes your whole being say: this. nothing else matters. mushrooms: strange, revealing, momentary visions that are shown to you and give you an indelible deep understanding in 1 second. images that are worth more than a year of normal maturation. weed: one or two puffs, non-dual state, mind expanded, fusion with now, opening, looking infinity in the face. these practices create a better sober experience every time. joy begins to be a constant. When you get rid of suffering, you realize the suffering that was there. while you lived in it you were not aware. the slightest mental suffering becomes intolerable. you have to be completely free of that. suffering is fear. you have to get over your fear and look into the infinite in the face, without any handholds
  12. @Water by the River You wrote this in that post answerin to axiom (btw, i think it was a mistake to ban him, true that he insisted a lot with nothing, nothing, but he had some good points) : "And if you have become so impersonal or universal consciousness (nondual) that you can have that state of huge nonduality/mere appearance of the visual field/infiniteness sobre, well then you have deconstructed your separate self enough. This is the Gate-Keeper of the Gateless Gate. This deconstruction is better said a high-speed-search-task-and-cutting-off of separate self illusion-arisings (I-feelings, I-thoughts, TrekchΓΆ-Style), and that is what boosts the nonduality and mere appearance aspect of the visual field, which is " I understand what you say with a non-dual and infinite visual field. i come to that with 1 puff of weed, sober close. the present moment completely loses all interpretation and reveals itself as meaningless, unified, without differentiation subject object, empty of content, and limitless. Over all, real. The naked reality. But it could be longer, it's just moments, some minutes I don't understand how you can get to that with the observation and control of thoughts, I would say that it is impossible for me. The way to get there is to erase from this moment any fear, any barrier. open yourself fully to the moment and give of yourself. dissolve in yourself. you can go on thinking, but thoughts don't lock you in, they are surges that happen like anything else. although I suppose that if they disappeared completely the opening would be greater, total. that is where i have to arrive, to the total, absolute emptiness of the thinking mind. surrender must be total, any thought is a hold, we have to let go, totally. The i have to dissapear. I'm walking in that direction. Every opening is a step
  13. Yes i understand that, but don't you think that this is still somehow limited? I may be fooled by my psychedelic leanings, of course, but I give Leo and his aliens some credit. I think it is terribly wrongly named, it seems made on purpose to provoke rejection and ridicule. maybe it is? it is necessary to differentiate between states without mind, of total non-duality, and states of deep openness to reality. reality is alive, it is not just the void, it is something that we barely intuit to see. we see the tip of the tip of the iceberg. without drugs there is a limit to the vision. Of course you could ask: why do you want that punctual and fleeting vision? your job here is to transcend limitation and merge with the now. your human construction does not give for more. but the fact is that drugs exist
  14. Yes of course, really it was a silly statement since I can't know what other's experience is like, only mine. but for me it is something obvious and inescapable. 5meo is a necessary solvent. the armored door that I am would never allow a real opening without it, there are many perfectly designed security mechanisms. a true work of art in a matter of armored doors Hehe no, it's not that. what happens is that the limited state is frustrating and it is inevitable to try all the time to get out of it, and that makes it inevitable to think about it, and post what we think in this forum, not to create a new conceptual framework, but by trying to loosen the mental knot that keeps you floating
  15. Ok, agree, but once you change to a state, let's say, deep, silent, non-dual... even here, you are still limited. You have broken the ice surface of the bottomless pond, but the magnetism that the surface exerts is too strong. You are floating in infinity but you cannot immerse yourself in it, half of your body is still floating, your vision is short.
  16. There is something here that nobody understands. this work is impossible without 5 meo. It sounds bad? it is so. all that is said is a pale reflection. it is impossible to describe the bottomless pit of life that you are. everything that is said is absolutely indifferent. whether there are others, or not, or whatever you think, it's in a ridiculous processing dimension. to truly open up to the now, you need 5 meo. it's there for that. it's the on button. To really open yourself to 5 meo is a very hard and difficult work. This is the real deal. Yes, i know, many are going to think: devil, Deceived, wrong path. As Conan said...let the wises to talk about crom, he doesn't mind. The blood and the pain amuses him. He is. Without bottom. Infinite life.
  17. When the infinity opens, and there is just being, totally expanded, without any hold, there is not "you" in the sense of the person who fears, etc, but still, you are. The infinity is, and it's you, without control, knowing, fear, desire. Just openess, but in deep, you, the existence.
  18. Because you are, you exist now. regardless of the content, there are no limits to the now, it is infinite. seeing this is the key. the now that is being is unlimited, but it seems limited because things, sensations, thoughts arise. remove them and infinity remains. that is existence. then if your now is infinite, there can be no other now. this is what it is. melt with the now, dissolve the "i" and be the now, and you will see it! is not difficult. but you must eliminate the idea that there is something outside. there is not, there is only inside. you, now, are existence. forget the content, it is indifferent, focus on the fact of being, on this, on the now. You will see how the walls dissolve and you will see yourself looking at infinity. it's pretty shocking btw. You need to be quite detached. your laughter will sprout. Freedom.
  19. It is very difficult to understand this, and here we are all speaking from the superficial logical mind, taking as reference, in the best of cases, moments of past awakening. The reality is that you will never get out of your pov, and that you are reality, therefore, your pov is absolute, that is, there is nothing outside, there cannot be. but on the other hand, you, now, have a limited pov. You only see the surface, you are creating a bubble of perception, a concrete experience. to create an experience you have to exclude everything that is not that experience. where is all that? here, it cannot be anywhere else, but hidden from your sight. the experience is apparent, that is, it is not really happening, it is being created by deleting everything that this experience is not. creation is always negative, never positive, nothing can be created since everything is, by default, in the infinity. then, from your pov, which is absolute, only your apparent experience is happening, and what appears in it is the absolute apparently limited. but everything that appears is real, the absolute is everything. leo is real, since the absolute includes infinitely many leos having infinitely many experiences. How? What is the way that your pov is absolute and at the same time Leo's is also? only one possibility: that they are the same pov. but they seem different. extremely difficult to see and understand, only for a few seconds and it's gone
  20. is difficult to understand this. there is only one being, it does not exist outside of that being, since it encompasses everything. that being is eternal and unlimited, it is reality. it's you. but are you now aware of the totality of existence? now you are aware of a guy looking at a phone. where is everything else? Where are you when you were a kid? Or the moon? does not exist? but did it exist or will it exist? How is that, if there is no time, if everything is now? forget the dogma and what you are supposed to know, try to understand. can you? Do you think you understand what reality does and how it does it? Because have you seen some videos? Don't you see the need to know, the ego in action? you know nothing! I only know one thing: I am. ps: yes, I know, now comes an arrogant response/guru omniscience parroting videos and telling me: stupid, you're not awake πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
  21. Yes, but in another hand, everything exists, and has existed eternally. little paradox right? reality is infinite, and it is always infinite, even if you close your eyes. then, in the blackness that appears, it is actualized.ord, razard, leo, the moon, the earth, the universe, the eternities, everything that has existed and will exist, the aliens, multiverses within multiverses, to infinity. only the appearance changes, everything always exists. there is no outside, there is only blindness. Open your eyes and you will see everything. You will see that i also exist. I am you, of course, but in a different momentum.
  22. The absolute is indescribable and unthinkable for the simple reason that it is absolute. any description is contrast, that is, limit.