Breakingthewall

work for a few months, and after that think what possibilities you have, that it could be a good idea, and go for it, with university or without

I didn't finish my 1/2 ehh, i only tasted, but the thing was so....._____....that i need to have more of that magic in my fridge Btw, thanks Leo, for the malt. Right after I did, I thought it was my duty to donate 500 to you for finding out something like that. then I went cold, you know?. but i really appreciate it

there is no legal problem, of course it would be nice to talk about it. right now it is impossible to find 5 meo malt. I ordered it, I got 1/2 gr, I tried it, and I thought: I want more of this , this is the ShangriLa. but incredibly the Dutch company where I ordered it closed the day after my order, so I started looking, and most of them are scams. They force large orders and researching on the web there are many comments from people who never received it, some with orders of 1600 us. well, at least I have my 1/2 gr of malt, but now it's completely impossible to find. dmt yes in abundance.

@Illusory Self you have a shitty ego, very dysfunctional. this is a very serious challenge and it can easily end in disaster, I mean, chronic depression, loneliness, being a bitter old man who doesn't find the courage to commit suicide... you know, at 26 you are a promise, at 46, a disappointment, and at 20 years go by fast. In my opinion, in your situation, in which I feel identified in the past, you have to be very, very serious. Go to transcendence, enlightenment . you have a nice puzzle ahead, but watch out! we are not playing here. The consequences of laziness, lack of insight, or simple bad luck, are the disaster. we are at war, not playing. If you need any help, I'm glad to try to contribute my grain. I understand what is at stake

I was contemplating on this and what has happened to you is simply that the ego has been unstuck for 5 minutes. then it got stuck again. the spiritual work is to detach the ego, and it is very difficult. it is always mixed with you. the unstuck ego continues to function, but detached. The problem is that it's like water and ink. At the minimum movement it get mixed again. it is difficult to detach it, you can meditate for hours and it does not happen, but sometimes, spontaneously, it happens. always imo when you have been meditating daily lately. it would be wonderful to be able to take it off in a lasting way, no more is needed to be 100% happy I am sure that the solution is serious meditation. I've relaxed my meditation lately, it's time to go back to 3 hours a day But we'll, it's not so simple. You have to overcome the fear. It's the fear what does that the water and the ink get mixed again

That happened to me precisely in bed before sleeping. total silence, but not forced. the mind is a bottomless well, everything is a bottomless pit. you can think, and thoughts pass. you can say for example: wow, this is, without a doubt. the limitless. I think I'll stay like this. and then a full minute without a single thought. then: how wonderful, that's how it should always be. wealth, life ,or, obviously it's exactly the same be alive or dead...but after a while you start: let's see, this then means that blah blah blah and goodbye, you can't go back there, you're in the eternal chatter again, for days.

yes, a solution. have courage and step out of your comfort zone constantly. do therapy, expose yourself to others whenever you have the chance, tell your secrets, express what makes you ashamed, practice the truth. At first it will be difficult since shame is a primordial emotion, very real. an atavistic feeling necessary for life in society, but you cannot let it dominate you. feel the shame, and act in spite of it. With time it will be very easy. what before seemed like a monster, will seem like a kitten

It depends on what your goals are. medicine implies disease to cure, but there comes a point where you are clean of trauma (psychedelics help enormously in this) and what you seek is to dissolve the illusion of the ego, transcendence. true enlightenment. In my case it is for pure selfishness. I have realized that enlightenment is the real happiness. anything else is a substitute without life or grace. Only God is the goal. It sounds very selfish, and it really is.

the absolute truth is realizing that reality is absolute, there are no differences. it is not something mental but a perception. to know the absolute truth is not to understand it but to know its taste. the absolute truth is you

In the end we are human and we need the social, although the social is at the same time the problem. The key is in balance, it is not easy

human love is comforting but it is a source of attachment. reinforces the ego. metaphysical love is pure detachment. it is the love of existence to exist, and does not differentiate in the least between one thing that exists and another. just by existing, they are pure love. we are tribal humans and it is extremely difficult for us to do without human, conditioned love, and thus we always live attached to the ego. detached human love... does it exist?

It is very possible that she does not understand you, you cause her pain, she has a rejection reaction, and that kind of thing but: she is your mother, she is the person who is supposed to help you get ahead in life, So I would think of myself. you have to free yourself from all kinds of emotional lock as soon as possible. you have to free yourself completely from any ballast. if you harm her well-being for a while, or permanently, I'm sorry. There is a possibility that she will understand you, redeem herself and that what remains of her life will have a true bond with his son. the possible gain far outweighs the possible loss, and your duty is to move forward, or so I see it. I would make her listen to my whole story, all my pain. and we'll see what happens

and, paradoxically, the ego, which desires fullness, but cannot find it because it is the desire to find fullness, makes a series of actions that lead to the casual opening of a series of mechanisms... that explode, destroy and devastate . and fill the empty glass, happening the fullness

???

@RMQualtrough I imagine you in an opium den 100 years ago looking very English, with fancy clothes and pocket watches ?

Disappointment? It is beyond the wildest dreams of the ego. the problem is that at the minimum, at the micron... heaven and earth are infinitely separated. the self is a steel barrier, practically insurmountable. the art required to get there being a human, without psychedelics, is immense. the ancients who opened the door in analog mode were true geniuses, and i humbly bow to their excellency

the ego seeks fullness but never finds it, since it is the search for fullness. I want to go beyond the ego, and thus find fullness

Well, what is changeless? I would say it means that it includes all changes and all forms. immutability=total change. no form = total form. in totality everything is the same as nothing. but it cannot be said that brahman does not change, it will be rather that the meaning of change is irrelevant. they are drawings in nothing made in eternity. Everything=nothing understanding that is simple. What doesn't seem so simple to me is... why is it apparently happening that I am now being me?

I have heard that in those retreats people vape 5 meo dmt or bufo the morning after having done Ayahuasca. As I understand it, 5 meo should not be consumed after taking imao, it can be fatal. I suppose they have it under control, but it would be interesting to know exactly how it is

It is a good understanding but in my opinion there is a mistake. You say: I am imagining everything. It is not like this. there is no me. The I that is said here to imagine a lion is imaginary. there is indefinite consciousness, without limits, imagining the self that thinks it is imagining the lion. the empty conscience that we are is so far from being the "i" you speak of, than from the lion. the self that imagines the lion in the room is an imaginary construction imagining something. the empty reality that we are is in the antipodes of the self, and it is very difficult to put ourselves in that point of view, it inevitably mixes with the construction of the self and is contaminated by it, and that is noticeable in each idea that we express about consciousness in this forum

Well said. every little detail of everything is a perfect jewel. just take away your judgment and you will see the wonder

Welcome to the forum. awesome text. I hope to read more from you

Yes, your bubble expands and you see there are no bubbles, the multiplicity was some kind of special effect. they all explode into one. but after the special effect is the case again, there are all the different bubbles, and you are just one and not the others. you understand? I do not. I don't think it can be understood. all that can be, is. right now. but you are just you and I am just me, and we are both the same if we expand the bubble, but different if we contract it. incomprehensible but true

hello Pedro, definitely awakening is the best you can "do". but what is awakening? I'd say it's just this. now. something quite simple, only we have put up so many barriers to realize it. you simply have to burst the structure of you, and let "this" expand and be. there is nothing mysterious, just the magic of existence that has always been. what is the best way to blow away those pesky barriers that turn our experience into some kind of nasty shit? meditation and psychedelics. plenty of the first and enough of the latter. what psychedelic? Well, I recently tasted one, thanks to Leo, a true pioneer in this matter, 5 Meo Malt. I don't know what to say about this. I have no words. a contribution to humanity, in my opinion. btw, I'm glad to find a compatriot, there are few here

psychedelics are fundamental if you want to understand the structure of what you are. imagine that you were a building, and try to understand yourself in depth. Nothing better than being able to dynamite yourself, blow yourself up into particles, and then witness how everything is rebuilt, pipes, foundations, etc. At first it would be very unpleasant because the non-structure would seem like death, but once you get used to the process, it is most instructive. Above all, you would realize that doing with this depth without psychedelics is completely impossible, there would always be hidden layers. the psychedelic destroys everything, leaves nothing standing. For me, what you understand with psychedelics about reality is not important, since after a while it transforms into an ego, and strengthens the ego. the only understanding that counts is the one from right now, the one from the past is as if you had read it in a book, canned. but the psychedelic opens the routes for you to blow up the barriers of attachment to the form that keep you locked up, and that's all in this work the dangers are that the destruction of your structure can deeply destabilize you