Breakingthewall

that's how it is? I am not that sure. I would say that reality cannot be understood rationally. when you understand you are out of reason. when you return to reason, you no longer understand. Or at least me

I think you know the answer to your crossroads: get out of the rational mind, out of the concept. go into the now, as deeply as you can. reason is not going to give you answers, only more questions. but I d say that your attachment to reason is such that you do not see that there is anything else. my advice: something simple and non-threatening, eat 2 grams of mushrooms. They will show you that there is understanding beyond reason. Moreover, they will show you that there is understanding only beyond reason

many people with thousands, or millions of followers who listen to their ideas, would acquire a kind attitude with condescending touches, allowing their favorite students the privilege of being close to their energy, and so on. Leo is impertinent, harsh, unpleasant, even tyrannical. my opinion: he does this to preserve its primary and essential value: total integrity. without total integrity you are a clown, and he knows it. he doesn't want to be a shadguru-type clown, he doesn't want to give up to his freedom. His harsh behavior is detachement.

another possibility: it's just a strange situation for you, you're not used to it. Not used to sex, not to that girl. maybe you try again, and the thing flows, or not. knowing yourself and understanding your reactions takes time and experience

The most idiotic thing you could have done is feel obligated by the situation and continue to try to live up to expectations, or to prevent the girl from feeling bad. You owe yourself total respect. you did the perfect thing another thing, don't think: why I'm not attracted to her, if she was physically fine? is something wrong with me? none of that, sex is the connection between two people, not something purely physical. if it didn't flow, it didn't flow, and that's it. my advice is that on another occasion you try kissing, being close, etc, without having sex the first time, and see how you feel. good luck with the next one!

yeah, I understand you, you torture yourself, so the idea of the beach would be shit. Don't get me wrong, I torture myself too. But I try my best to stop doing it. after all, it is something we do to ourselves, it has to be possible to stop doing it and live on that beach in perfect happiness. why not?

Exactly. It seems that buddha's goal is the end of suffering, and with it, the end of the wheel of reincarnations. this implies that reincarnation is something negative, that is, that life is something negative, that it would be desirable to avoid. the buddha's goal is total ego death. Well, after living like a prince, like a seeker and like a lover. not a bad plan at the end. individual existence is suffering. being a proton implies resistance to stop being a proton. but as you say, we can say that this is a positive suffering. accepted suffering, with a goal: to be. And there is a suffering that seems more negative, the frustration, the cowardice, being trapped. the suffering from which existence cannot escape. I would say, more than seeking the end of suffering, seek to accept suffering, and even seek it, since it is a source of life

If you really don't care about everything and life doesn't interest you, you couldn't go to a nice beach, look for a good place, and stay there for a few years, maybe the rest of your life, doing nothing, looking at the sea and the clouds ? you will surely find food. a long empty present , and In the end you will die anyway, so why rush?

buddha was right. The root of suffering is desire. without desire there is no life. life is suffering, each breath is a struggle not to stop breathing, which will happen at the end. individual existence is desire to be separate. Without it, you will melt into the whole. Buddha thought that the goal is to merge, to reach nirvana, to stop being an individual. That is why he advocated the end of desire, the cause of suffering, that is, the cause of individual existence. Another question could be ir there is any problem with suffering

Self-acceptance comes when you realize that any non-acceptance is a learned idea with no value. What is is. reality is, and not accepting it is like not accepting a rock, stupid. You accept every last molecule, last trauma and last thought, as you are. there is nothing to compare with, there is no model of should be. Social success is adhering to that model, but that in the end is adhering to a delusional idea and it will collapse, or it will be permanently on the verge of collapsing

there are two definitions of evil. from the ego, evil is what is harmful for you or you society . from spirituality, evil is what strengthens the ego. In many cases, they coincide. the ideal is that they coincide completely. an ethical system is advanced to the extent that it comes closer to the latter.

We have to understand that we are preference machines. we prefer this and this no, and as kids our reality is preference. pure selfishness. some have what we call nobility of character. that is, they are capable of distinguishing truth from preference, and in very few cases, moreover, they choose the truth. Others are miserable and they can't even see beyond the preference. Preference is everything. Nothing more exist. knowing that we are preference machines... what is love for us? we call love what suits us, who cares for us, understands, helps, values. This is not love, it is society. You love your partner because he contributes to the company that is your life, if he stops contributing, you fire him. that is human love. it has nothing to do with the love that is existence. To understand that reality is love, you have to see through preference. remove it and reality is a shining jewel, a work of art of love. the colors, the sounds, each breath, and beyond: the pain, the decay, the sadness. they are jewels of love, but to see it we have to put aside what suits us. the prize is great, is to see. Preference is blindness

A very large part of the impact of the trauma on your mind is the certainty that this should not have happened, that it was unfair. imagine that the trauma that hurts you so much has happened to absolutely everyone and everyone talks about it openly, at barbaque... yes, the years when my father made me suck his dick... uff yes, What a bad time, very disgusting. would there be trauma? Well, I've given a bit of an extreme example, but really, where does the real pain begin, and where does the shame of not being adequate? many times it is more the latter. I have a trauma, well, many, but this one for example: when I was a kid, 10, 11, my father used to cruelly made fun of my physique because i become too tall, he told me that I had a disgusting body while he put on bodybuilder postures and said, I am perfect, you are imperfect. your feet are disgusting, your small penis, the feeling was frozen. rejection, death, fear, sometimes I dreamed that there was a car where all my family went but I did not fit in. Right now it doesn't affect me at all, because I'm not ashamed at all, zero. This is how my life was, and it makes me even funny. reality is wild. there is no "should be". that's a childish idea. this is the jungle, and it is something very beautiful, wild, lethal. Of course that shit was not nice, but imagine, if you were in war and you were really traumatized, you would awake with terror, but probably in a while you would forget, the pain would fade. But if you are ashamed...it never fades. If the other kids bullied you, you are not traumatized, you don't remember the fear, you are ashamed. Pure ego. Let's put the other cheek (mentally), and of course, don't let it happen again. Forgive yourself

existence is love and that is something you can see in some moments, and in others, or most, not. we are completely conditioned people and we do not see beyond our conditioning. That's what we meditate for, to transcend conditioning and see clearly. If you see through the conditioning, being completely indifferent to what is good or bad for you, you will see the perfection, the art, the passion, the pure love that exists in everything. in a stone on the ground, in a word, in the noise of traffic, in the sky, in a building. This is what we aspire to with spirituality, not to masturbate the mind but to direct vision, because in it is true love, the only one that exists, that encompasses everything. that is total intelligence. absence of stupidity, since stupidity is the preference. useful to survive, but stupid as soon as it takes you away from the truth and deceives you, it makes you stupid

Yeah you are right, its only an idea. I don't care about ideas, about what is reality or anything conceptual, It is a simple hobby to speculate around here. for me spirituality is to empty the mind and go beyond it, what I said before is mind and it is really the same as saying anything else

I had a vision with psychedelics, more real than reality. the void unlimited that is (me) recognizes itself and in doing so explodes in love, pure love in creative passion, and automatically, everything that can be, is. torture, hell, are pure mystical love. creation occurs spontaneously, want and creation are simultaneous, and that's happening now, always. but well, it's a realization that I remember, memory, just speculation really. Right now I'm not even remotely aware of that.

Be careful, respectful and humble with the lady. I just had an experience that I would describe as horrible ++ .I sniffed 12 mg. that in 5 meo dmt for me is very little, smooth, but was malt. Was the circumstance that my mind was very much into a story with a girl. something quite deep that it should not be but it happened due my selfishness . well, it seemed to me that my mind was calm, ready, and the amount was almost insignificant, so I did it without any fear. It start little by little. I thought, it's very feminine, too much, I like the solar ray of dmt better, noble, direct. It continued little by little, a dance, and suddenly all my reality melted away, but the energy with this girl held me. I had not been honest, this prevented me from letting go. My being was melted with that girl in a way that is not straight, not correct. my whole reality start to be a grip. I got up trying to pass the effect, but no. my whole being contracted. I did it 10 days ago, and it was the opposite, liberation, but this time... I thought my heart would stop, and it really didn't matter to me, I wasn't afraid of death, no fear, only pain, punishment. just contraction, suffering. my body contracted. my hands and feet hurt, I couldn't lift my head. I needed to get out of the house, I went out, I walked down the street from one place to another for two hours, suffering. It was passing, i called some friends, but this contraction, this punishment. shit, be careful with the lady. She told me: little piece of shit, I'm going to teach you what it means to be a dishonest piece of shit, and you'll see how you lose the desire to continue being one. If you want to dance with me, come clean, if not i will teach you some lessons you won't forget. you are welcome

I'd say because the core of existence really is an absolute void without limits, but that void is, and as it is, wants to be everything, it wants to manifest itself with such a passion that it explodes and creates a universe. and that passion is what we call love. what happens is that as humans there are parts of that love that we have to deny, since we must survive

Be prepared for the possibility of having a bad time. It's normal at first and nothing happens, it's ok. If that happens, face it with courage and thinking that everything will be for a greater good. if your traumas surface, you will suffer, but your traumas will definitely lose part of their power. Bad trips are very useful

think that 5 meo is something to let go everything. avoid sex, everything that ties you to the ground as much as possible a while before doing it, a week or more, let everything fade. avoid lies and false ties in your life, all that prevents you from letting go. do it in a moment of integrity, or of the maximum integrity that you can, and the maximum freedom that you can, or it can be very hard. being about to explode but hold on, it's something you don't want to live, I guarantee it.

if plugging doesn't work for you, dissolve the free base in as little vinegar as possible, add a few drops of water, take a ph test strip and wet a corner, look at the color, add drops of vinegar until the ph is 7 or nearby, put it in the syringe and drip it into your nose

Beautiful! True deep mystical passion. I thought you had written it improvising, I was very impressed?

samadhi is not silence, it is when your ego separates and you stop giving it life. It still talking but in black and white, powerless. your mind may be silent but your ego is fully activated. It is difficult to understand where is what triggers the separation and the union, I do not understand it, I only know that meditation can sometimes cause this to happen. when it happens it feels like something physical, as if you had taken a pressure off your head, but after a short time it hooks again. I would like to understand more the mechanics of this

I would see them, but with an important point: in matters of metaphysics, God, etc. don't believe what he says. not because it is not true, but because in spirituality any belief is the opposite of what we are looking for. this is difficult as he makes very precise descriptions. take it as a mental exercise to make your limits more flexible. in spirituality you don't have to believe anything. you have to experiment

the word truth implies opposition to lie. god implies absolute, without opposite. truth means what it is when the delusion of the ego disappears.