I'm not so sure it's a good idea for me to be sharing this with everyone here on Actualized.org but regardless, here it goes! I'm not going to be direct because I'm afraid people might get the wrong impression. Since Childhood, I've had a bit of an issue with girls/women, I'm extremely unlucky and I feel like I'm programmed to prove to the opposite sex that I'm good enough for them(especially to those I find hot) as a result of environmental factors. I happen to have an estranged relationship with my sister for reasons I will not get into and my relationship with my mother is... ehh, it's not perfect. I've read stories of other men who've been cheated on and that's not the worst part. Not to long ago, I read an article about a man who was happily married and shared two children (a son and a daughter) with his then wife, now ex-wife. He thought about taking a DNA test to know his ancestry and I believe his daughter took the test as well, only to realize that his "daughter" was not after all, his daughter. His wife had an affair with another man, but the other child was his (the son). As I continued reading the article, the girl who wasn't the child of the man she thought was her father, was heartbroken and the man's mother said, to not blame the girl for the actions of her mother. I can't recall what the rest of the article said, all I know is that it fucked him up big time (huge influence on him becoming somewhat misogynistic) and I'll leave it at that. I've experienced alot of baggage with girls/women but never as intense as what happened to that man. And I'm grateful I haven't and hope I never will!!! Simply put, I did not receive the love I needed from the opposite sex. There are other things that play a role in causing this unusual mentality I have on the opposite sex and while I'm still massively attracted to women, I have a rather twisted view on things and I don't want to embrace that aspect but resolve the matter at hand. I'd like to be believe I'm not fated or destined to become something hideous or monstrous, in my case a sexist or misogynist. I know the perfect quote for that by Dr. Carl Gustav Jung!
"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." - Carl Gustav Jung
Where do I start? How can I change my unhealthy view on women?
Edited: I only speak of myself here, I'm well aware there are men who commit violent and atrocious acts upon women. I KNOW THAT!
I repeat, I only speak of myself and my unpleasant and traumatizing past events. The only reason I presented that story was to get a point across. I don't represent other men, only myself.