Tboy

Could we also call the video 'The Root Solution to People Pleasing and Loneliness,' just the root solution to caring what other people think of you or how to stop caring what people think of you? Maybe I'm making an obvious point here but I just wanted to be sure I'm not self-deceived in some way. I practice the satisfaction meditation 30 minutes 6 days a week, 7 when I can and I think I'm going to start practicing it for a lot longer and do it 7 days a week because I'm starting to see how powerful it is. From the Life Purpose course, the top question that is most fascinating to me in life is What would my life be like if I didn't care at all what other people think of me? (how would I be expressing myself, who would still be in my life if that was the case... etc.). This meditation and healing my main traumas appear to be clear paths to answering that question.

right and this meditation kind of does that no?

Oh no of course, I didn't mean have no social intelligence and be completely insensitive to others, I just meant the not basing my self worth on their opinions of me part. That's what I mean by not caring what people think.

perhaps psychedelics can help with as well but I'm only just starting out with those right now

Dude, follow Leo's advice and move to a big city. If you don't want to do that, then you're not serious

this is perfect, strongly agree. If men are not turning inward to understand their traumas and finding techniques to heal them - they will project all the desperation caused by the traumas onto women. If men loved/accepted themselves, they wouldn't have a hard time loving/accepting and thus attracting women. The guys who are dicks that attract women appear to have this self love for themselves from the confidence they show but are actually fucked up and terrible partners, not what women truly want

good for you man! WHere are you based? I assume this is a big city

awesome man! One of the main reasons I don't want to is because often in London at least in the obvious areas, they don't let you into a club or those club/bar places by yourself as a man, they would if you were a woman probably but I've been turned away from so many places. It's to stop the creepy guys I guess, which makes me feel a bit creepy, even though I know I don't have to. It also of course brings up some fear going out alone as well, which links to this trauma I have that is essentially a fear of shame/shaming, something I'm working on.

Calling anyone on here who wants to go out in the Hackney area of London - hit me up on here I want to go out at the very least once a week but I have struggled to find a decent wing for that, people aren't consistent or they are very 'pick upy' and I don't find them so easy to have a normal conversation with. I'd rather not go out alone but do you guys think that is still an option if it's taking time to find a consistent wing? If you can't go out in Hackney - I can go Soho area as well but is less preferable

I go to 5 rhythms every week, you can also try ecstatic dance - those groups are kind of a safe space for you to put yourself out there through dance. Highly recommend

yeah I agree with this, I think you need to be both practicing facing fear and putting yourself out there as well as working on your trauma/limiting beliefs etc. though

@Leo Gura do you have any thoughts on the legitimacy of his main points here?

the book mastery (George Leonard) is very helpful for working on a skillset - I recommend

this is really great, you're doing a great job. Stay consistent on the things that will bring you the most happiness in your life and you'll get where you want to be no doubt!

okay, I don't know her work that well so if she said that then fair enough but I was just trying to share women that appear me to be higher consciousness

any thoughts Leo?

I think this woman seems to be, at least she appears to have high consciousness, she has a lovely channel:

Merry Christmas, it's refreshing to me to see someone staying consistent with a journal like this. Most people I know show no signs of being consistent with important habits that they know they need to build, I root for you seeing this

I would say, don't be hard on yourself, start by talking to the easiest people you can. Don't judge how the interaction goes, just try and have a good time. Then once you've chilled with them for a bit, go get a soft drink from the bar and talk to someone else there, you can go back to your original friends if that doesn't work. The point is to build momentum from those first couple of easy interactions, try and smile and have a good time, get out of your head, and stop judging yourself if you are. You can figure this out, what do you want out of life?

I'm speaking from a UK perspective, it may be different for you, which country are you in?

There are ways of saying you're not necessarily looking for a relationship or that you aren't at all - it doesn't have to be so awkward and direct like that. You want to be grounded in what you're saying, not doubting yourself but you can say that you are looking to meet people and have fun and if you do end up really liking them then you'll take it in the relationship direction and if you don't then you can see them in a more casual way. It's fair for you to say stuff like that and also don't bring this shit up unless she does or unless actually want to.

Thanks Leo, you're my guy! I'm still working on trauma and life purpose stuff basically every day

this is awesome man! Great stuff

My view is that you should start taking responsibility like Mr engineer said - what do you want out of life? And notice that it is up to YOU to figure that out, no one else, not your parents or anyone else. Look for your purpose in life (would recommend doing the life purpose course). What you lack above all however, is self-love - What's helped me a looot with this is doing Leo's satisfaction meditation - it's amazing, you should watch the video The Root Solution to People Pleasing and Lonliness first though but you should also look for any deep traumas you might have and work to heal those, this will also allow for much greater self-love. Self-love will give you the confidence you need to express your masculinity, you will no longer fear doing that.

You need to find some new friends and just start having non-alcoholic drinks - at first there'll be social pressure but you'll get over it fairly quickly. What part of the world are you in btw?