JimBo

@Joseph Maynor I’m down

In 2018, completely sober and at random I had a full ego dissolution experience that was extremely temporary. The ego returned within about 30 seconds. During that experience, the “I” completely disappeared. The illusion of James no longer existed. There were no thoughts and no subjective identity - just pure awareness, along with a direct realisation of non-duality and the absence of separateness. Once the illusion of “I” disappeared, the illusion of separateness disappeared with it. Having experienced this, something that has never quite made sense to me is the phrase “I am.” To me, “I” and “am” feel like two completely different things. “I” is the illusion of ego. “AM” is the underlying pure awareness. So when the “I” disappeared during that experience, what remained wasn’t “I am” - it was simply AM. I’d genuinely love to hear other people’s thoughts on this. Preferably from people who have experienced their own ego dissolution firsthand, rather than simply repeating something they’ve read online or in a textbook. I’m particularly interested in how the phrase “I am” makes sense from the perspective of someone who has actually experienced the disappearance of the “I.”

I think the red pill is actually meant to mean something entirely different to what most people think it means.. the matrix movies are an allegory for the transgender experience written by 2 transgender women in the 90’s when they couldn’t just come out and be themselves.

This was my insight on LSD & DMT Source puts limits on itself so it can no longer be source. If we took all the ‘bad’ out of our reality we would simply be source again. If we didn’t try so hard to ‘forget’ we would simply be source again. Too much to handle.

@Arcangelo Do you mind sharing your experience?

@Peo It shoved me straight into ‘source’ I like to call it. What I took was 3 x stronger than normal DMT it was wet and sticky. I can’t tell you what is safe and what is not. Use your intuition on that one, that’s what I did. Be safe, I do not condone people being reckless ?

Haha thanks @Leo Gura ?

@lostmedstudent I used the wrong word when I said elaborate (I meant to say can anybody relate to my experience) I have edited my post. As for your question, I can only provide a few more details.. I smoked ALOT of DMT at once (no measurement) and got folded and twisted every which way that isn’t meant to be possible until I ended up BEING infinity and every possibility. It was too much to handle

@Javfly33I can’t describe becoming all possibilities at once anymore than that... Words are useless. I guess my question is.. can anyone on this forum relate to my experience?

I was determined to have a breakthrough and some profound insights. I wasn’t disappointed! I took 2 LSD tabs under my tongue (125ug each) and waited until the peak to do the DMT. I used the ‘sandwich method’ and placed the DMT in a bong cone piece in between some fresh basil that I picked from my little herb garden. As soon as I took the second hit I was thrust into absolute infinity. I was every possibility all at once. I realised there is no such thing as death at the same time. I was screaming because being absolute infinity and all possibilities all at once was literally too much for me to handle. The realisation that there is no death which means there is no escape was also too much for me to handle. I just wanted to be in form again. Once I came down the first thing I said to my partner was... take me back! How bizzare! I have felt a sense of peace ever since and an intense amount of gratitude for life. Can anybody relate to what I experienced?

I also have this problem. I watched @Leo Gura’s video and thought the same thing! I’m glad you posted this. If not for Leo, for others experiencing these same symptoms. Mainstream medicine is no good for this kind of thing and will have you believing it’s everything EXCEPT mold sickness ?

Mold Toxicity. I am having the same problems. Might be time to move house and detox/cleanse your body. It’s a long recovery process.

Amazing

@Leo Gura Please elaborate?

Western Australia ??