Thought Art

They're walking around Head full of sound Acting like We don't exist They walk in the room And stare right through you Talking like We don't exist But we exist Daddy it's true I'm different from you But tell me why they treat me like this? If you turned away What would I say? Not the first betrayed by a kiss Maybe it's true They're staring at you When you walk in the room Tell 'em it's fine Stare if you like Just let us through Just let us through Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na They're down on their knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist Daddy it's fine I'm used to 'em now But tell me why they treat me like this? It's cause we do it like this Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na Maybe it's true They're staring at you When you walk in the room Tell 'em it's fine Stare if you like Just let us through Just let us through Let 'em stare! Let 'em stare! If that's all they can do! But I'd lose my heart If I turned away from you Oh Daddy don't turn away You know that I'm so scared But will you watch me drown? You know we're going nowhere We know that we're young And no shit we're confused But will you watch us drown? What are you so afraid to lose? Down on your knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist You're down on your knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist We exist! We exist! Down on your knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist You're down on your knees Begging us please Praying that we don't exist We exist! We exist! We exist! We exist! Na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na Maybe if you hang together You can make the changes in our hearts And if you hang together, you can change us Just where should you start?

I have a lot of thoughts about this. First of all... Ya'll should know I love going to drag shows. I only say this so you can understand that I am nuanced in that I don't fit into one side or the other. In fact, I am not going to a pick a side in this conversation but... Embrace not knowing, and taking into account more and more data, opinions and statistics and events over time as I go about formulating my understanding of all the related areas of understanding here. At the same time. How I look at the world and define the world is up to me. There is is a lot nuance to be looked at here, and I sense there are higher level distinctions we can make when looking at Trans rights in society. I am aware of some stats around Trans suicide, and crimes committed against transgender people. However, don't let your emotions and fears make your thinking emotionally charged... and therefore sloppy, demonizing others on the forum etc. The actual reach this particular thread is going to have isn't likely to be that deep. So, just breath, relax... lets have a conversation. I think there is a difference between being transphobic, and hating people for their identify, sexuality and preferences and then having opinions or your own metaphysics around what a man or woman is. For me, personally. A trans person is a trans person. I call them by their preferred pronouns. I'd love to hangout and get to know you. But, I do biologically born women as women, biologically born men as men. If they are born that, and identify as that then... thats how I see it. I see a transwoman as a transwoman and a biologically born woman as a biologically born woman. I think part of the issue here, is that trans people carry with them a lot of shame, and struggle to love themselves. So, when I don't completely see you the way you want me to.. you think I hate you. But, thats not true. So, do I call Transwomen women? Yes. But, when it comes to something like a bathroom, a sport, etc... I then have to take into account many other factors that involve the concerns of other members of our communities, science, peoples paradigms, the potential for dishonest actors, etc... It's really a complicated topic. I don't want to be shunned, shamed, attacked, canceled etc for people someone who is learning, who's opinions are nuanced and complicated. Not understanding, or having opinions around gender that don't match yours... Isn't hate. I love everyone. But, I am learning. Remember, gender and even sex is a construct. But, what is what? I don't know. One of my favourite songs. Your tells are so obvious Shoulders too broad for a girl Keeps you reminded Helps you to remember where you come from You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you You've got no cu** in your strut You've got no hips to shake And you know it's obvious But we can't choose how we're made You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you

@Sine Yeah, it depends on you and your needs and relationships. Hotline help, you can just vent to them because they are paid to help you. Friends, I would just call to say hey and talk casually about things and have a good time.

@LSD-Rumi bipolar, maybe. It's likely more complex. Don't know.

I can't speak for Leo. But I saw how Connor treated the forum and how he treated Leo when Leo tried to ground over the phone. He dragged actualized.org through the dirt with his antics. Connor at one point, was making almost pretty decent posts on the forum. I think he really liked Leo's videos but... He does in like a fool. Fools rush in. I saw that he was a Zen Devil pretty early on. He has the operating system of a clown and then starting trying to become spiritual, then abused psychedelics, (I think he misunderstood what they actually were doing to him). He is professional fitness guru and clown. We can't expect him to be a sage overnight. It was like adding jet fuel to an open flame.

Aren't there like, different brands of shampoo etc that have different ingredients?

I second this. Though, I will call you a woman, or your preferred pronouns because I respect you as a human and conscious being. I believe in transgender rights, and the rights of all groups. But, I also have some nuanced opinions and I am still learning. Gender roles, words, labels, etc are a construct of our minds. I have reported mod bejapuskas for over stepping. Stating your opinion on gender or sexuality does not equate hating someone. I dislike seeing that form of moderation because it makes me afraid to post nuanced things. Rules around segregation, laws, etc are an on going thing we all as a community need to work through and understand. We all have rights here. When it comes to things like sports... theres more nuance there than simply hating someone and not wanting them to compete. In fact, sports are sort of silly that way in general because of a almost arbitrary nature of the categories we use. I realize this is a difficult topic. But, we need to ensure we remain understanding that not everyone sees things the way you do. Just because I am not a Jew, or a muslim and I don't think they are absolutely true does not mean I hate anyone.

Seems right to me. Both green and blue embrace spirituality but green is generally more open. Blue tends to be dogmatic about religion and spirituality

Quit that shiiiit lol. It's worth it.

Got it https://www.amazon.ca/Outlines-Pyrrhonism-Sextus-Empiricus/dp/0879755970

I don't know how to spell it, did anyone catch it?

So, recently at a networking event in my city I met a girl and it was love at first site for me. I could tell she was interested in me as well by her facial expression and her energy. I had never felt that level of energetic connection in a long time. It started to wake up parts of my nervous system that I think lay dormant most of the time. She got my instagram and she wanted to hang out and meditate with me, and we were gonna talk more about what we do. I teach Qigong, she is a life coach. But, I realized that this love... This amazing female love energy. That I want more than anything... Brings with it so much pain, fear, and doubt. I over think, obsess and then I avoid. I asked her to hang out. She didn't respond all day and I kept checking my phone. Then, when I saw she had read it and didn't respond... I unfriended her and unsent the messages. I told her, I had a crush on her and so I would need to avoid her. She was just at the spa. Nothing was wrong with the situation. Just my insides, unconscious beliefs and mental filters. Neurotic. Disorganized attachment style. I did some tests, and I have an avoidant/ disorganized attachment style. I think I will need a coach before I start dating. So, I will need more income to afford a coach. So, right now my main focus is business, networking, achievement and developing more earnings. Then, I will begin dating again. There are so many potential mates out there I could fall deeply in love with and create a good life with. I have to be patient with myself and my fears and traumas and go about dating in a slow, intelligent way because it just hurts way to much. As soon as I have feelings for someone it feels like I am being stabbed in a the chest. Which, obviously means I can't love fully yet. A deep intimate relationship that is long term is one of my main goals in life. But, it much come from a solid foundation I am currently building.

@Max8 Maybe, Or you don’t understand what consciousness means when we use that world. If you only identity with your finite self, as an animal sure. But, what makes you think you are separate from the “Big Bang” are you not that? The result of that? So, you are the part of the whole. Which means you must also be the whole. A Newtonian universe? A quantum universe? A dumb universe? A random uniserve? Am intelligent universe? A conscious universe?

@Max8 Maybe, Or you don’t understand what consciousness means when we use that world.

Connor shattered Leo’s trust big time Connor is more stable. But, he likely still lacks maturity, integrity and etc

I find that all my suicidal thoughts are self deception. This is probably the case for most people. The construction of your models of reality are just jagged and twisted. You need to increase your consciousness, take action and take it all less seriously.

Hmmm, could be a low quality post. long story short. Not your ego. Not your finite self. But, you infinite self creates all duality and manifestation. contrmplate those by yourself for a couple hours and then read some books. Trip a little if you can safely.

@OBEler okay I’ll try it again

@OBEler Not sure psychedelics are gonna work for healing a scar. There may be topical creams or dietary supplements which help. Various psychedelics can be useful for developing body awareness and healing some body pain. LSD, 5meodmt, Shrooms... maybe be interesting to see what happens. Qigong and self massage can help too.

I stopped paying for internet in my house. I only pay for data and if I run out I run out. I struggled for years.

I mean. I am really no expert. But a thought did occur. A date is to see how you feel when you are with someone. I would just trust your feeling. You will find somebody.

Seems the most loving thing to do, it so go your own way.

Sounds like a good thing to is to break up. Theres thousands and thousands of beautiful women. You can ask yourself "What am I really holding onto if I don't enjoy the relationship? What are these superficials of her looking like a model worth if I am not happy with her?" 1. What do I want right now? 2. What would I do if I wasn't afraid? I've been in similar situations. Maybe the problem is you are imagining the relationship to last forever instead of enjoying the energetics and polarity between you in the moment and day to day. Don't build yourself a prison or think you are losing something by breaking up. Have you heard of Sofia Sundari? I like her work on relationship coaching and energetics. She talks a lot about how to feel the energy, how to go for what you want, how to come from abundance and how to step into your male energy and own your cock. I would trust want you really want each day. Which, seems to be leaving. If you wanted to be in the relationship, perhaps you wouldn't be thinking these thoughts eh? You must decide. Write about it. Pull off the fucking band aid.

You know what I did? I don't pay for internet. I only have Data on my phone. If I abuse it then...There goes my internet for the month. Then I have to go to library, or cafe to do work. It also means I am reading way more at home, journaling, Qigong etc.