flyingwhalee

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Posts posted by flyingwhalee

  3. Posted

    I have yet to meet a girl seriously interested in awakening or valuing / seriously pursuing it. I don't know if it's very wise to expect from your girl to be on the same exact page as you on this. At the end of the day, it's the loneliest path possible (solipsistic pun intended), that's how it is and it's fine.

    As for her guilt and codependency problem, do you think you can be patient and help her on this ? I think that would be the best thing. It sounds like you got yourself a very nice girl, I wouldn't give up before playing all the cards. 

     

    Good luck !

  5. Posted

    Just now, Asayake said:

    Perhaps the LSD is letting you know it's time for a break to work on yourself through other means. It sounds like you were already shown a lot in your earlier LSD trips, maybe it's time to focus on integration. How do you feel after the dark trips are over?

    That's what I thought at first, but that's not it. After the 1st really bad one, I waited for a few months. Before today's trip, I hadn't tripped in a year.

    After those trips, I feel puzzled and a lot of sadness. At first I'm a bit relieved, like "Okay, it seems like I will survive. Good." Then, it feels like I have been denied access connexion to God, and it's rough.

    7 minutes ago, Asayake said:

    When trips start to turn dark like this I take it as a sign I'm in need for a break and time for sober integration of what I've learned, time to work on myself. Yoga, meditation, exercise, working on your nutrition, sleep habits, relationships, carreer, to name a few different possibilities of what you could work on moving forwards to help grow yourself and help release eventual emotions that are stored in the body.

    All of this is solid advice. I work very much on every aspect of my life currently. I still think this is a very particuliar problem that might have another cause.

  6. Posted

    LSD has been a very useful chemical to me for the past 3 years. I grew a lot, and working with it in a non-dual context allowed for beautiful awakenings and spectacular God realizations I will forever cherish the memory of.

    It seems like I cannot use it anymore. My 3 to 4 last trips were horrific. I lack the words to describe how hellish they become. It goes like this:

    - I meditate like I always use to for the duration of the come up (1h). The familiar Lysergamide very energetic body load takes place. I place my awareness on itself, going deeper along with the feeling of existential love growing.

    - In a matter of a few minutes, everything goes very bad. Heart starts racing, all the love turns into extreme despair. It's not just panic. Multiply this by infinity. Everything in me is convinced this is the end. In fact, it's far worse than death: it's the end of every joy, love, hope. It's just like reality, that you used to love and recognize as yourself, turns against you in the most heartbreaking way. It's suicidal.

    I used to think that this was result of consuming Nbomes. I wish this theory was true, it is not. It happened again today with a light 150 AL-LAD, that I tested.

    At this point, I think the problem is in my brain chemistry. I have no idea if this is a Lysergamide problem only. I was planning on working with 5-Meo-DMT in a few weeks, needless to say I got cold feet. 

    Does this ring a bell to anybody ? It's hard to imagine this is a me problem only.

  10. Posted

    4 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

    @flyingwhalee Sufism is an updated version of Islam. Original Islam teachings are not spiritual by any means. The Quran and Sunna ( Muhammad quotes) are dry and and even I would say antispiritual. keep listenting to Quran and you will hate all spirituality all together. There is no mention of divine love or anything like that. God is presented in the traditional authoritarian figure manner.BTW, Sufism is hated to the bone by the majority of people in the Middle East and many other regions. I have  lived in a traditional islamic society all my life, and people here always make fun of suffism :D

    Bruh you're talking to someone who grew up in a traditional islamic household. Super wrong. Makes me wonder if you actually went to read the book by yourself. And no, Sufism is actually the core root of Islam, if you dig a bit 

     

    https://youtu.be/u0WcsqSDU7U

     

  11. Posted

    On 2022-09-07 at 3:47 AM, LSD-Rumi said:

    @Breakingthewall Yeah, Islam is a dry religion, don't expect anything spiritual from it. Muhammad will not teach you spirituality but I learned a lot from him in regards of collective responsibility and moral development. His moral development is mindblowing actually and he is one of my best role models in this regard.

    Very wrong. Do your research about Sufism

     

  19. Posted

    That precise thing made my last relationship a real challenge. Not everyone from a given culture is the same, but make sure you know what you're getting into. I come from a muslim country / culture myself, I can assure you that if you enjoy a no bs life, strive to accept yourself, or simply like to deconstruct beliefs, you will encounter difficult obstacles. You say that you can't discuss / question things freely already, don't go on with the relationship expecting it will get better.

    Also, I will be blunt but you most likely will struggle with sex / intimacy. Goodluck !