jimwell

I have been doing this exercise everyday and everywhere for a few years. Yes, love and understanding are connected. But there are situations which hate and understanding are also connected. For example, the more I understand the motives of bullies and serial killers (psychopaths), the more I get disgusted by them.

The appearances or forms are the illusions. No difference. My ego probably wants to survive by continuing to be self-deceived. And it's ok. No need to rush things. There is time for everything. So complete awakening will happen at the correct time.

self-love is not worth it? Isn't self-love the highest spiritual goal and teaching? I think self-understanding or omniscience comes second.

You obviously were the one who typed it. And no, you're not a robot. You are a human without consciousness, an illusion pretending to be real. I just said it for what it is. There is only ONE consciousness. If you are conscious, then I am not. I am just an illusion pretending to be real. But calm down, as I have repeatedly emphasized, I am not sure whether my "awakening" was genuine or just a hallucination.

I have been away for a few months but I decided to sign in because I have something good to share to you. I experienced "Solipsism" when I was a kid. If awakening is real, that was my first awakening. There is only ONE consciousness. So, all humans (and animals) you see in this world have no "localized" consciousness. They are illusions pretending to be real. If you are sure that you are conscious, that means Leo has no localized consciousness. Your consciousness is all there is. But unfortunately for you, I am sure I am conscious. So, it means I am all there is. You, Leo, and other forum members here are illusions pretending to be real. I am not bullshitting. Here is the link if you want more details. Despite this childhood "awakening", I am still not sure whether that was genuine. I can't verify whether that was genuine or just a hallucination. I wonder why Leo is completely sure about it. And in my "Dream-Solipsism" awakening, there was no hint that I was God. That's another difference. I have been contemplating and trying to verify the genuiness (authenticity) of that "awakening" because it is completely important. But I haven't succeeded. It's very frustrating. There is simply no way for me to know.

I have a love-hate relationship with Japan. Japan embodies the best and worst of Stage Blue. The country's extreme collectivism provides a few of the most beautiful things in this world; peace and harmony (people on the streets are very respectful to you), safety (you can leave dop your wallet on the train or leave your bicycle anywhere), beautiful and feminine women, cleanliness and organization (the streets are clean and all activities are strictly scheduled and followed), unity (everybody shares the same values), etc. But it's the same extreme collectivism which results to completely dumb and ugly things. A Japanese (just like any Stage Blue person) values "following the group" than "doing than right thing". How perverted is that? That was the exact worldview which resulted to Germany's Nazism. It's the same worldview which produced the Divine Wind (kamikaze), the crazy, senseless act which horrified the American soldiers during WW2. How could anybody fly a plane only to intentionally crash it into an enemy ship or plane; shattering everything, including the pilot's skeleton? It must have taken tremendous devotion and blind loyalty to the "divine" emperor (Naruhito), and, priority and importance of the country and countrymen (above the self) to pull it off. I have experienced both the best and worst of Japan's extreme collectivism. I have experienced the good things I already mentioned. I was also given tremendous respect and importance because of my job (considered as authority). But because of my innate tendency to stand up for my principles, I also experienced the worst. I chose to quit rather than being forced to change my teaching style from being dynamic and creative to being dumb and robotic. I chose to resist propagating abuse to my juniors. I stopped my mother-in-law from bullying me and everybody in her immediate family. I was considered as crazy and problematic for destroying the harmony and established traditions. So, I lost everything (my Japanese wife, home, school, money, and Japan and its beautiful nature and 4 seasons). It was very mentally-emotionally painful. And I questioned myself many times whether being integrous and uncompromising was worth the tragedy and lost. But at the same time, I knew I still had the most important thing in my life; myself and me honoring my principles. Now I'm crying; not only because of the suffering as a result of the persecution and the big losses; but also because of the intense love and admiration I feel for myself because of the bravery and integrity I displayed and maintained until the end. I'm not out of the woods yet. But regardless of where I go from here, I won't regret my past actions. It was worth it. I'm not bullshitting.

I am the real wolf, not Donald Trump. ? Being a sheep repulses me. I am inherently integrous, I honor my highest values, many times above my survival. This is God's gift (and curse) to me. My life is naturally difficult. I reach the highest levels which makes people envy to death, but I also fall to levels people are scared to death to be at. And people either really love and admire me or really hate me, never average. The recent tragedy and losses were too big and shocking that I asked myself the questions you asked me. But in the end, I was happy with what I did. I can't live my life being fake and repulsed. The tragedy and losses are temporary. I can recreate my past "good" life and even make it bigger. But this time, I am planning to be financially self-sustainable and resilient so that even if I experience tragedies in the future, which I am prone to, my survival won't be threatened that much. I mean in the past, I lacked proper financial investments. Japan is still a very good place to live in if you are an introvert, self-reliant, and self-satisfied. It's a very clean and organized country, and Japanese are very respectful and polite to you. It's good because you really don't need to be close to them anyway. They are the best strangers on the street or acquaintances. And yes, you can't really have a close, genuine connection to them. They can't even be genuine to themselves, because they need to conform to their family and society. They always betray themselves to avoid trouble and shame. But to be fair, my Japanese ex-wife was better than most, but her Blue core was still running in the background of her soul, unfortunately. There are many weird and pathetic things in Japan aside from sexual dysfunctions, hikikomori, and suicides as a direct result of extreme collectivism. Another one is "salaryman" (a man who works at an office for a salary) go to hostess clubs after overtime work. Guess what their purpose is; it's not sex. They spend a fortune to talk to girls to boost their self-esteem. They eat too much shit at work that they need to recharge by being willfully deceived by the hostesses. They need to do it, otherwise they will have the alternative, which are "karoshi" (death by overwork) and major depression. I'm not joking.

A strict social designer is highly conscious. An internally diverse Stage Yellow social designer and leader functions well, especially in times of crisis (the current coronavirus pandemic, and during and the aftermath of WW3).

Thanks. That surely was a tragedy. I am not out of the woods yet. But I always do the things which are need to be done. In that sense, I am ok. Japan got its Orange characteristics from the US after they got nuked and surrendered. Japan's economy boomed in the next decades, and their largest companies such as Toyota, Sony, etc. sprout from or got very big during those years. That was the time when Japan became known as very modern and technologically advanced. But the country's economy has been stagnant for the past 20 to 30 years, and so are their technologies. Believe it or not, many thigs in Japan are very slow. Traditional methods or technologies such as fax, cash, pen and paper, business cards, etc. are more commonly used than emails, credit cards, online shopping ,etc. Their IT technology is as bad as 3rd world's. The coronavirus pandemic has exposed Japan's lack of IT and digital development. Japan was very slow to cope up and failed badly, the term "Digital Defeat" was coined. That is one of the many things they pay for being too traditional and closed-minded. Nikkei Asia and NHK World

@Raptorsin7 Yes, I will vote for that hero. I think a "high-consciousness" but strong person can quickly build a loving and sensible society if he calls the shots. He can dictate and control society the way Leo dictates and controls this forum. But that hero is rare as fuck. You can't meet him in real life, let alone in politics. So, forget it.

This is a mindset of a weak man. Women easily smell weakness. You can't fake being strong. Self-loving, self-principled, self- righteous, self-confident, intelligent, brave, yet compassionate are the characteristics (plus an innate factor I can't capture via words) of cool, strong men. Women drool over men with these characteristics. But be strong and cool for yourself first. Be the cake. Women and everything else are the icing. That just doubled the strength and coolness. ?

It was difficult to answer because situations or contexts were not provided. When I encountered the question "Is money your most important goal?", I answered "strongly agree". But it is because I lost almost everything including money and opportunities as a result of a tragic divorce. My survival is seriously threatened. So, I need to prioritize making much money like an extreme Stage Orange bastard. When I was asked "Do you feel bad when your words and actions cause emotional pain to others?" I answered "Yes" because I usually treat others with respect. But there were many times I felt very happy when my words and actions caused tremendous emotional pain to my dumb NPD father and other family members and bullies. I love inflicting pain to humans who inflict pain to others. And I love expressing love to humans who express love to others. So, these types of tests are limited and can't capture the whole picture of the human soul, especially when you consider the truth that most people lack self-awareness and self-honesty. But regardless, I am both very empathetic and psychopathic, depending on the situation. And I love being this way.

The same with religion. Most humans have religions, so having a religion is never considered as a mental illness. Having a religion is even considered good. How perverted.

This is a smaller version of the immortalists' dream of uploading your entire consciousness to a supercomputer, then downloading it to another human body or robot at a later time to accomplish immortality. Many claim humans already have the technology to implement this, while many more claim this will be a reality in 50 to a hundred years. ? It sounds good but it's wishful thinking. It will not happen in 500 years. But I am open to the possibility that it can happen in a million years. But the last sentence also means I am open to the possibility that it won't; and maybe it won't ever happen.

Here is an additional video which expounds the concepts and points of the original post. Yes, I agree with this youtuber in thinking that Japan's systemic problems sprout from extreme collectivism and that the country will be forced to transcend Stage Blue (adapt Stage Orange values) if it wants to survive and thrive.

It's better if you show my comment to your wife immediately. I'm giving my installer to anybody who needs it. I just can let it sit there and be forgotten for a few years. If there is anybody out there who has a windows 10 pc and needs my installer, message me. Include your country in the message. ?

No, because a web OneNote is meant to function online. And it can't store locally. I recommend installing OneNote 2021. It is installed on your PC so you can use it offline. It can also store locally via its "Export" feature. You can export a section or an entire notebook to your local storage as .docx (word file), pdf, .onepkg (OneNote package), etc. OneNote 2021 is better than OneNote 2010; better in features and user interface. Of course, it took 10 years of updates for improvisation and stability purposes to create OneNote 2021. Microsoft will discontinue the built-in OneNote for windows 10 soon so they can focus on improving OneNote 2021 and beyond. I love OneNote. I use it for everything; writing my personal thoughts and insights, saving Google Maps links which can't be starred, and for other interests. Another good thing about OneNote 2021 is that it is easy to import things from other apps such as MS Edge via "Share to OneNote" feature. I bought 3 copies (installers) of Office 2021 for my 2 laptops and my mother's. Each installer installs OneNote, Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, etc. on 1 PC. I already installed one on this PC, the one I'm using. I took a screenshot during installation. You can see the OneNote 2021 icon below. I found an extra copy of Office 2019 and installed it on my mother's laptop. That's enough for her work-at-home needs. She doesn't even use OneNote. If you want, I can give you one of my installers for half the official price. If you can't afford it, I'll give it to you for free. But I doubt that is your situation. Here is the official page for Office Pro 2019. Office Pro 2021 will be the same price or even more expensive. https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/microsoft-365/p/office-professional-2019/cfq7ttc0k7c5?activetab=pivot:overviewtab The good thing about this version of Office is that you only need to pay once; and it is activated for a lifetime. So, I recommend you quit your Microsoft 365 monthly subscription. You can save thousands in the long run. I am worried this post might violate forum rules, so I'll stop here. Just send me a private message.

You just can't put a band aid on a very deep wound just because it's too painful and ugly. You need to be brave and take a careful look at the wound so you can thoroughly clean it. It will surely hurt more initially. But that's the proper way. Only then you can put a band aid. The wound will heal fast and it will be better for you. ? That's wishful thinking. No amount of spiritual bypassing will heal your wounded soul. Be careful, for you will harm not only yourself, you'll also harm others.

Your past does exist now but not outside you. It exists in your soul whether you are aware of it or not. And the repetitive thoughts which cause negative vibrations sprout from past traumas and horrors. Contemplate what I'm saying and be honest with yourself. I hope eventually, your soul feels permanently better. You seem like a good person.

Very naive and self-deceptive. It doesn't work for moderately to heavily traumatized humans. Another paradox is that to enjoy present activities such as taking a walk in nature, you need to go back to the past, then face and integrate the past horrors.

These are all projections. The best form of self-actualization or self-development is all-encompassing. It encompasses many domains; spirituality, mind or intelligence, emotion, and body. Rhamana Maharshi might have been the most conscious human has ever lived; but he was NOT well-balanced.

@asifarahim Did you get that information from Anime? No, divorce is not a sin there. It is only a sin in Christian, especially Catholic countries. Japanese would directly or indirectly murder themselves for the emperor (authority). That's why Japan has systemic problems such as karoshi (they literally work themselves to death for authority (their bosses)), suicide (they get very depressed after a lifetime of self-betrayal, for the sake of authority and society), and others. It's easy to understand why my ex-wife divorced me. It was because of her loyalty and devotion to authority (her mother). I didn't title this thread "Worst of Stage Blue" for nothing. No. But many Japanese have told me I look like them. And many of my countrymen have told me I look like a foreigner. I don't have mixed ethnicity. But I am very different from my countrymen, internally and externally.

A scam as big as this is worth contemplating. I can tell she's a class-A scammer (and a psychopath) just by looking at her. There are sins which can't be hidden. As Oscar Wilde said, "A sin is something which writes itself across one's face.". A scammer's soul is extremely and blindly selfish, no integrity, and shameless. That's why psychopaths or sociopaths are the biggest scammers (and murderers). And their biggest prey are humans who are naive, with low self-esteem (people pleaser), conformists, and desperate.

I doubt my intuition from time to time; but not this time.

@How to be wise I am not waiting for it because Leo doesn't need to do anything for me and I don't need Leo to do anything for me. Everybody wins. His last youtube video is good.