Ulax

@Kksd74628 Okay, I still do think we disagree. I generally agree that there are more than one way to do things. However, there are many things that in so doing will only bring you X results and will not give you Y results. For example, if don't have sufficient stage green experiences in your life at the right times then you will not love yourself - no amount of stage orange, red, or blue experiences/ integration can make up for that. Also, I don't understand why you are referring to by my 'method'. I do agree with your metaphor and your commentary on debates. However, I don't think they apply critically to any of what I've said in this thread.

@spiritual memes How many you on lol?

@Kksd74628 I get you. I do agree with you on some things. I.e. I agree with you about integrating all levels of the spiral. I just think we disagree on what will solve certain psychological issues men/ people are facing. I do speak from my own experience. However, I also speak from a substantial background of formal and self study. For example, attachment theory, IFS, modern trauma therapies, and spiral dynamics.

@Nilsi It could do. However, it would matter on the place that talking to a cute girl or lifting some weights was coming from. For example, if part of you wanted to talk to a cute girl, and by you talking to her it helped that part build trust with you then sure. However, if someone was to use either of those things in the typical way they're used, i.e. to prove something to oneself, to push oneself out their comfort zone, emotional gratification etc. That does not work for self love. Self love is primarily about acceptance and care for what is, making it a stage green phenomena.

I mostly disagree. "There are lot of other methods and some approaches work for some and different to others. So people should contemplate what makes them feel that they're weak and then do things needed to change that picture of themself" I think the issue here is that when you're traumatised, without adequate psychoeducation, you will generally have a completely inaccurate picture of why you're 'weak' and what you need to do to overcome it. Alice miller is a famous psychotherapist who talks about adults who were abused as kids. She talks about the concept of idealisation. It refers to a phenomena where those abused as children will often idealise their childhoods. So, if these adults sat down and tried to contemplate, without psychoeducation, why they suffer as they do, they wouldn't be able to accurately pinpoint it. Often because of popular society, they'll blame it on something like the fact they're not getting laid, or that they're not rich, or something else other than the actual cause. "Usually the best way to overcome trauma is to prove your trauma wrong showing yourself that you're very capable" Regarding this, I guess I would somewhat agree. I think its important to prove to ourselves that we are capable. However, I think we'd disagree on what process we'd need to use, re showing ourselves as being capable. We also may disagree on what it means to be capable.

@Nilsi Because you have to learn to love the parts of you. And loving yourself is stage green. By butterflies and rainbows, I suspect you are saying something similar to trauma recovery is more than just learning to love yourself. And I agree. I think it takes work with stage red, and blue, too. I.e. red for enforcing boundaries, and blue for establishing your boundaries which are important. However, establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries requires loving yourself if you lack stage green. Loving yourself is the majority of trauma work. And its stage green. Therefore, the majority of trauma recovery work is stage green.

@Hugo Oliveira Could you provide an example? I.e. a short video of him speaking about something

@Kksd74628 Sounds good. I think these are all important. However, I do see trauma recovery as missing from the conversation. A lot of men have trauma, and don't address it - many successful ones too. Men cannot become fulfilled without integrating stage green effectively, which is where the majority of trauma recovery must come from. If someone outlines a path to fulfilment for men that does not include stage green integration, then that path simply will not work.

@Kksd74628 I pretty much agree. What do you believe men need to do to cultivate that mindset?

@Kksd74628 How do you define stronger?

@Kksd74628 I agree somewhat. However, I think the main issues for a lot of men is that they think orange/ red things will bring them fulfilment and/or they engage in unhealthy versions of orange/ red.

For me: Leo Gura Michael Sartain Derek Scott Richard Schwartz Bryan Stephenson David Tian Patrick Teahan Dale Carnegie Denzel Washington ----------------- There are some others that do influence me, but I understand a lot of it is unhealthy and mostly wish it didn't influence me as it does.

@Bobby_2021 Disagree. That just sounds mostly like stage orange and red role models to me. Edit: If you were just stating your personal preference, rather than making an objective claim, then can ignore this post of mine

Speaking to the original message, I think he had numerous instances of misogynist behaviours. I think its good that he's been cancelled. I've heard the argument that someone else will fill the vacuum. However, I disagree with that. If youtube approach tate-like figure's cancellations in the way they've approached the pickup cancellations, then the vacuum won't be filled by the same level of misogyny. That would mean needing to go after groups like fresh 'n' fit and sneako too.

You want both partners to have a secure attachment style, imo

Almost agree. Everyone is doing what they think is best for them imo

@PixelMonk Dude not cool at all to talk to people that way. You can disagree, but keep it from being abusive.

@Consilience You seen what's been going on with maps.org? Its really promising!

@at_anchor No idea unfortunately

@Someone here Here's an overview: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_7_Habits_of_Highly_Effective_People You're welcome btw

Shame you're not coming to the UK. But here are some things from me. I don't have any tips other than I advice checking out travel blogs that individuals make about their travels around Europe. If you like their trips, you can copy them. Also, you can contact them, and I reckon quite a few of them would be happy to answer questions, i.e. best places to go, hidden away places. ------------------------------------------ On another note, when doing napoleon type things, at least once, you have to stop, put some headphones on, and play the following piece of music: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Finally, I'd recommend you wear suitable clothing to avoid pickpockets. I.e. put essentials in zipped trouser pockets. Hope it helps bro!

Hi all, Would highly recommend this book for those seeking to overcome trauma. Seem to me like quite a few folks who struggle with the unblending aspects of traditional IFS find value in the teaching of Fisher. Also, seems to me that quite a few of these guys, including myself, are rather dissociative. So, might be worth checking this book out if you're struggling with IFS whilst dealing with dissociation. Btw, although I think the whole book is valuable, the exercises for parts work included in the appendix of the book are particularly great. I'd recommend checking them out as soon as you get the book, if you do choose to get it. Cheers. (P.S. Fisher also has a workbook called, 'Transforming The Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists'. I haven't finished most of it. However, it seems like a really useful step by step guide for learning her approach to parts work.)

'The four Agreements' By Don Ruiz, and 'Seven Habits of highly effective people' by Covey, could be useful books for a general secular blue framework. The most blue integration I've personally felt was when I followed covey's advice of, 'Make small commitments and keep them'. I intend to return to that mindset one day. Regarding discipline, 'Atomic Habits', and 'Deep work' are useful for discipline imo. Military dudes can be useful sources for discipline and examples of integrity. I'd be wary of toxic masculine elements of their teaching though. Hope that helps.

@something_else I think we have a difference of opinions

You can always blame people for reacting badly, imo. People can tell you to leave. Or that they don't like you. That's cool. But if they start yelling at you that they don't give a fuck, that is abusive behaviour, and that's on them.