Ulax

To my understanding, uses a mixture of NLP and hypnosis. I also understand PSTEC to be popular with some in the PUA community too, as a powerful inner game tool.

@Mada_ I try to base my boundaries on the assertive rights in Manuel Smith's "When I say no I feel guilty", and Pete Walker's list of assertive rights in "CPTSD survival to thriving". Though I pretty much always currently struggle in the moment. But that is okay. That said, I think my boundaries would depend also on the my perception of the people around me. If I'm in a golf country club, I might feel more relaxed asserting my boundaries politely. If I'm in Jihadi John's Isis commune I'd probably be less assertive in my boundaries.

@Migue Lonas Love it man! I did solo nightgame once or twice, and I had the same feeling of not wanting to be the dude just lurking in the corner hahaha. But, you're in another world to me with the amount you've done it. And, man I love that idea of just being able to go to pretty much any place and make friends! Loving the ambition too man! And that sounds to me like a really cool relationship you have with your girlfriend. ------------ I'm in quite a different life situation at the moment, so i can only relate so far. On my end, I've had some material successes. I became arguably the most successful student in my high school's history in terms of where I ended up for university, and got pretty decent at amateur boxing. Both of these were the results of a 'what if' mindset I developed, where I would challenge myself to things just with the view to grow from the experience. Like for example, with the university, I applied to a university course that no one thought I could get into because I wanted to learn how to deal with the experience of people doubting you, and also dealing with applying for things outside of my comfort zone. And then I ended up getting in, and going to one of the best courses at one of the best universities at the world. With boxing, I was a pretty small, middle-class kid, and joined a local working class amateur boxing gym. I found it very taxing, but learnt a lot about what hard work really meant. I ended up captaining my university's boxing team too. My motivation for all these growth activities was actually based a lot off the videos of Owen Cook, and ideas around limiting beliefs, and self improvement. It was strange because I resonated a lot with Owen's talks around things like depression, but I didn't know why. Gamewise I have done three phases of game totalling around 8 months I'd say total. So, overall I'd say I'm very limited in my game experience. Except, for some reason, when it comes to getting success with cute girls at french ski resorts . The issue was that emotional issues that I'd had all my life really caught up with me around 17/ 18. And affected my university studies a lot and my career ambitions. I had been interested in becoming a civil rights advocate in the US for folks on death row. And, my ability to game was really affected by these other parts of my life too, and just my emotional state. And, since around 20 I've been learning the ins and outs of managing my emotional issues, which have been rather serious. It turned out I had a form of PTSD due to a lot of traumatic experiences growing up involving family and friends. My latest game phase around 22 actually opened up a lot of those wounds again that I'd been dissociated from, and indicated a certain truth to me. I chose to leave my old life behind, and try to make it on my own. However, the stuff that opened up has been pretty debilitating, and my mind is rather splintered as a consequence. I frequently flick between various different narratives of the past. And, a lot of my actual thoughts I am dissociated from. I've only recently managed to get in touch with, and realised i was unconscious of these. And, it seems it was these unconscious thoughts that Owen's vids were resonating with. Its felt like uncovering a conspiracy theory to be honest. And in these past four years, particularly these past two, I've been researching and experimenting the hell out of inner psyche to achieve identity level change. At the same time, its been painful watching time slip by as I try to develop myself in this context. I had a much larger ambition for game, but i see my current work as being part of the journey. And also the past two years have consisted of a fair degree of chronic pain for me. However, i retain and apply my growth mindset in this area now. In terms of my life purpose, I'm not really too sure of what it is at the moment. My dissociation and chronic pain has meant I am cut off from a lot of my psyche, and hence my authentic self. And i see that as imperative to being able to find a life purpose. However, I am very interested in a spiritual/ depth psychotherapy called 'internal family systems' therapy. And I have considered before dedicating my life to bringing it to more of the world. However, in contemplation I often find i come to the conclusion that some means of affecting politics would actually be a better means of helping bring it to the world. My reasoning being, in part, that, rather unsexily, its accessibility depends, to my mind, so much on things like funding of research, government funding of sessions for those in poverty, the economic climate, i.e. ability for prospective clients to pay relevant fees. I have a certain disgust for the way psychotherapy is priced at the moment, as many in need are simply priced out of it. Not that i blame practioners, but its just the way i see reality is. But really for now, I've had to humble my ambitions for the time being towards doing the necessary inner work. -------- Also, thank you for the compliment mate I was thinking earlier too how valuable it is to have someone with your life experiences on the forum, too.

@Migue Lonas Jheez dude! That's amazing! Thanks for sharing. Edit: Also the part about going solo really challenged some limiting beliefs I have. I've only heard of one other pick up guy doing that before, and he's an instructor now.

I'm getting what i see to be encouraging result from a meditation style where I watch my thoughts and then every say 6 seconds note 'thinking-thinking-thinking'. I was hoping some users would be kind enough to help me understand what type of meditation this is called. Also, if you know, what the benefits and/or limitations of this sort of meditation are? And overall what to expect from this style of meditation compared to others? Thanks in advance.

@Migue Lonas Can you give a brief synopsis of your game journey?

@CARDOZZO Hmmm, I'm sort of wary of giving a specific pointer because I don't know where your psyche is at currently, and I think different minds work well with different things. But I'll lay out some general things here. High conscious psychotherapy with a competent professional can be useful, in my opinion. Stuff like internal family systems therapy, gestalt therapy, humanistic, somatic experiencing etc. Bodywork like Trauma Release Exercises could be useful. (course: https://www.trecourse.com/)) A good book which gives an overview of trauma is, in my opinion: The body keeps the score. Also, Alice Miller, 'Drama of the gifted child' is a useful one I think. Also, setting up a concentration practice, and then exploring a variety of meditation practices, to find one which helps you process trauma and/ or helps regulate your emotions. I like a dude called Daniel Mackler too at the moment. He has a youtube channel, and also one of his books is about journaling about trauma (Titled: From Trauma to Enlightenment: self-therapy in twelve steps, Daniel Mackler) Again though, I'm still in the process so I'd say my perspective is somewhat limited.

@LSD-Rumi I really relate to this. In my experience, the answer is to: 1) Limit who you let into your life. Be that casually or long-term. 2) Meditation and Shadow work In my opinion, its not actually that any intellectual idea or attitude is destabilising in of itself. Its adoption can lead to destabilisation of one's mind. But in my opinion in depend where that mind is at. If you have a strong healthy sense of self, say from years of successful depth psychotherapy, I imagine these new attitudes and ideas will be much less destabilising than someone who is traumatised. Or if you have done a lot of successful meditation, then your mind is adept at handling any idea or attitude. And so I believe such a mind would be much less destabilised by taking on these new ideas or attitudes.

@Yimpa I get you. And agree in one sense. But I guess what I'm interested in is what sort of work a certain style of meditation tends to do for practioners. I.e. I've heard and believe some style tend to allow for more shadow work. Some tend towards giving the practioner more piece of mind. Some towards more mystical states.

@Federico del pueblo I think these videos could be of value (I'm not that savvy when it comes to dream analysis though. Also, I haven't actually watched these vids, I just like the youtuber when it comes to trauma related stuff).

@CARDOZZO Personally, my theoretical belief is that once one processes a large amount of their traumas then they get a lot of access to their authentic self and trust in their intuition. And from there one's life purpose becomes relatively straightforward. I do think its important to note that I'm currently in the process of trying to process a lot of my traumas. So I'm not currently speaking from direct experience. So, I'd say I'm more on the side of 'finding it'. Though you sort of have to create the conditions for finding it through trauma work.

@StarStruck Haha its funny you say that. When I first did game I was in my late teens and training at an old school amateur boxing gym. The sparring and training there used to scare the crap out of me. Some real scary guys, and some psychos haha (one guy used to be very aggressive and constantly giggle when he hit someone!). I used to actually skip training to go and nightgame sometimes instead. And nightgame was actually somewhat of a relief in comparison! Then when I later gamed again at a later point in my life, I found it a lot more challenging. I guess doing something really scary like old school boxing can really ground you.

@Optimized Life In my opinion, I'd recommend looking up the idea of the brain's RAS (reticular activation system). Owen Cook is a good source, in my opinion. In my opinion, how you perceive an environment will depend a large part on the emotional state and/ or belief system that you are in. Speaking honestly, I'm seeing a lot of limiting beliefs in your comment here. There are so many things one can do to improve their experience of night game, in my opinion. I.e. inner game. I.e. how you structure your nights, i.e. how you screen your wings, i.e. how you structure your learning of game. Are you setting process oriented goals or results oriented goals? Are you managing your emotional state in between sets? I.e. Finding something funny from each interaction? Are you following good theory? Are you field reporting? Are you learning how to get yourself in a fun mood? Maybe, its not even the right time for someone to game at that time, in my opinion. And they would have a much smoother learning experience if they stopped doing PUA for a few years, got other parts of their life handled (both inner and outer), then came back to PUA. In my opinion, people often have a very limited view of what game is. Often people don't take seriously things like limiting beliefs, inner game, managing other areas of life, getting better logistics etc. For example, in your post i see that you see a lot of girls who are out at night as sluts. That's quite a disempowering belief, and a changeable one, in my opinion. You could work on changing that to a belief that girls who are out at night are really adventurous, and sexually liberated! And, that sex isn't a big deal. I note you have issues with the sleep schedule it gets you into. A solution oriented approach could be to say, 'Okay, right now is not a good time for me to have the sleep issues associated with nightgame. I can work on other parts of my life for now, and then in the future setup my life so that I'm better able to manage an altered sleep schedule. Or, I can do 1 big night out a week,and then each of the other nights i can do 30- 60 mins of game in the evening, just practicing in bars and lounges.' To me, everything you say is pretty understandable, and I empathise. However, I want to keep it real that I think that a lot more than you currently think is in your control and is actually a part of learning nightgame, and having a fun experience. Not to say I think you should make all these changes, but just that I believe its possible if you want it.

Thought I'd post these PDFs here. Some really useful techniques here for dealing with stress, in my opinion. Stress Management_ Breathing Exercises for Relaxation _ Michigan Medicine.pdf Stress Management_ Doing Progressive Muscle Relaxation _ Michigan Medicine.pdf

@Matthew85 I've only done one session with this style recently. However, I noticed that my thoughts are able to flow much more easily during the meditation. Also, many more memories come up for me in the meditation, which I see as showing potential for real shadow work. I think the style has a nice blend between control and letting go. Control because my ego mind can control the 'thinking-thinking-thinking' noting. Letting go because of the allowing of all thoughts.

@AriSujan In my experience, nightgame is where its really at in making progress in pick up. If you do it well, then that is where the truly life changing pickup growth is at in my opinion. Also, I personally found it much more fun! Once you start hitting state frequently, and you start to just enjoying game to game, then I think its a really cool time. Lots of people from all over the place who are looking to have adventures. They have time on their hands when they are out. And people are actively looking to party. I think the best thing would be to primarily focus on nightgame, but then also add in a little bit of daygame as well. Edit: i also think it could probably he harder to start learning game via daygame. I think it can be quite demoralising especially if you are not quite as socially calibrated. Night game lets you feel like less of an odd one out I feel when starting out, and so if you then later do daygame you'll have more experience being socially gregarious and daygame will feel less of a big deal, in my opinion.

@Bob Seeker Maybe try a relational/person-centred therapy like Gestalt with a female psychotherapist. Perhaps one you find more attractive, so you can deal with more sexual things that come for you in the relationship. My idea is that if successful you would heal what i see to be a mother wound in you. And, in my opinion, then instead of projecting your current mother-you relationship onto women you would project this high consciousness psychotherapist-you relationship onto women.

@Jodistrict I've been pretty impressed by Prince Harry's exploration of healing modalities. It seems to me he has an open mind to lots of different healing modalities! I.e.. heard he did EMDR as well. I'm pleased for the guy.

@Lila9 You're welcome And, thanks.

This book is cool af, imo. Think its Turquoise. It presents the author's ideas around levels of consciousness and how to move between them.

@Devin 6!? You living in the land of Colombian supermodels or something?

@Something Funny I think I understand. However, if what is posted is within the guidelines, its okay to post it. But just because something seems low consciousness, it doesn't, to my mind, mean it shouldn't be here. If you want to avoid getting what you see to be limiting beliefs from the dating section, then I would recommend taking personal responsibility and just avoiding this section of the forum. Or perhaps putting some users on ignore. Or, in my opinion, working on the underlying psychological dynamics that keep you returning to this section, when it doesn't seem to serve some of your conscious goals.

@Danioover9000 What conservative positions do you hold?

@Emerald Then you have the issue of why more men aren't doing Jungian therapy if it would solve so many of their problems. If inner work is so crucial why aren't more men doing it? I believe it is massively crucial but its also important to understand where different demographics of men are at in terms of their ability to even grasp the importance of it.

@spiritual memes I'd disagree with this. My belief is that in my society celebrates the hypermasculinity of a certain class of men. I.e. men who are hyper masculine by about 16 years of age. And if you don't make it by that time, society sort of condemns guys embracing the hyper masculine edge. Id point to how much pushback doing pickup gets. Toxic masculinity isn't the same as hypermasculinity to me. 'Act like an alpha male' is hypermasculinity. 'You are a little bitch if you don't' is toxic masculinity to me. Being able to be like an alpha male has a lot of value to it in my opinion. I also disagree with this. In previous times, when I've been in a really great period of growth from hyper masculine stuff, i.e. achieving big goals, becoming a champion sportsmen, and doing cold approach pick up, I've felt much more comfortable opening up about my feminine side. 'Macho guys' just seemed like a joke to me. Like they weren't even masculine or feminine, just kind of strange. And also i think its a pretty black & white statement to say 'feminine men are called weak submissive betas'. I'd say plenty of men do act that way but a fair amount of guys are pretty understanding. And I think it depends what sub-culture of men you are thinking of, i.e. working class men in east London, or upper-middle class seniors at Cambridge university. Returning to my personal experiences, I'd say I felt more comfort I was assured enough in my masculinity that I felt minimal threat in being perceived as more feminine. So, I know at a point in my life I was relatively comfortable expressing feminity. I even had a depression party at my university bar lol. That said, I think unless you experience the social freedom that comes with doing fun cold approach pick up, its hard to understand that level of social freedom/ confidence is actually possible. And its that freedom/ confidence that i think allowed me to be more chill with the feminity in me. But I'm aware learning fun cold approach pick up is very abnormal. So, I think it says a lot that that is what it took for me to feel relatively chill about my more feminine sides. And, when I'm not doing it I feel much more restricted in expressing feminity. Also, in my adolescence, I had a internet mentor in Owen cook who i could relate to as both a masculine guy and also someone who spoke about his deep emotions and suffering. Not that there weren't repressant aspects to his teachings too.