Roy

Do your best in your personal life to minimize your impact and contribution, if not for the planet but for your own mental health and conscious............. ..because yeah we are unequivocally fucked. Civilization is going to collapse in less than 50 years. Enjoy it while lasts and try to spread as much love to the world as you can in the meantime. It's the only thing any of us can do.

If the good heavily outweighs the bad then it's probably worthwhile to him as a friend. If it's causing you stress and it's happening frequently, just bring it up and address it in a kind/direct way. If he doesn't receive it humbly enough and refuses to work on it, well it's a shame but you might have to cut him off and find a better friend. Everyone has their flaws of course, but if you truly respect and value yourself there is only so much you put up with or allow yourself to take until you create some standards. Personally I don't put up with any shit anymore. I only bother with having the absolute closest and compatible friends possible. Any hints of toxicity that I know won't be fixed soon enough. I cut it off immediately. Good vibes only. This has left me with not many friends as I used to have but that's ok.

Nobody (or not as many) would survive if women were tasked with the role doing the more physically demanding or dangerous things like hunting or fighting. It's about utilizing the available resources and strengths as best possible for survival. Men and women are good and bad at different things, that's why distinctions are made, because they are useful to our survival. We live in an age where we are now insulated from nature and danger so we deconstruct these distinctions. Though the sexes seem to still graduate towards their inherent strengths (why fight uphill?). When your village is under attack from an 800 pound grizzly bear who would you rather give your 3 only spears to? 3 200+ pound men? or 3 150+pound women?

allow me to introduce myself

This will just be some quick points to consider I don't have time for a super detailed answer, apologies; - It's probably a mental block from her upbringing, like you've mentioned. She might have some self-esteem issues around her body and lacks confidence because she wasn't taught or given implicit permission to explore her own body, which keeps her reserved and closed off physically. She needs to go back into her past either through contemplation on her own to unlearn and unwire what she was taught, if she can't do it on her own consider consulting (with a female) sex therapist. Also give her permission to masturbate on her own. You need to encourage her to use it as a tool to understand her physiology better, and that she doesn't need to be ashamed of it. It's perfectly natural. If she doesn't exercise already it might be a good idea as well, that will help her get in touch with her body as well. Most women don't these days unfortunately which contribute to this. - If you want to last longer you counter-intuitively need to feel into your body more, not get out of it using your head. I have struggled a few times with PE before and I've crushed and conquered all anxieties around it for good now by getting in touch with myself and the "feeling" of sex more. Meditation practices help with this as you will get used to tapping into feeling more frequently, and dissolving thoughts. Thoughts are exactly what causes not lasting very long, because it's a self fulfilling prophecy that if you're worried about it, that's what you'll be focusing on. Tap into your body and the sensations more, not just in your penis but in everything else. Feel breathing, feel your leg muscles, feel the heat of your blood flowing, and feel the rhythm of the sex. You want to be going with a natural and comfortable pace, and leading her. Instead of worrying about details about what position necessarily, or how long you should be doing something. The sex will be more intimate and deep if you let it guide you and submit to the feelings and emotions of it, instead of trying to mechanically control it. Just my experience. - Consider buying a vibrator dildo to help stimulate her, a decent one is $40-60 and a worthwhile investment. It is your friend here. She can use it solo. She can use it on you. Or you can use it while eating her out or having sex with her. - Also try this technique if you don't know about it; Good luck mate!

This is a fantastic point @DrewNows, but you also have to realize there is only so much time in life, and if one wants to get far places or accomplish great things only so much time can be spent acknowledging "low consciousness" things. You are right in principle it's probably not great to deny parts of reality, at some point though you have to cut your losses and be focusing on what's important (relatively).

Absolutely fantastic news. I was contemplating leaving recently out of despair over how much low consciousness, garage, bad faith posters were able to go about with impunity, and of course never having the awareness instilled in them to change to their actions through negative feedback. This place should be treated a lot more preciously. There simply isn't a lot of options to go to if you're serious about this work and are looking for like minded people. Most of the world just isn't open to this material and that's ok, it's just frustrating and exhausting to have to spin your tires endlessly to get any traction in a conversation with someone who isn't open enough to it. Good on you @Leo Gura!

You're just having the realization that most people are bullshitting themselves and you're no longer playing the game. Which is a good thing because the game is bullshit, but feels awful and scary because now you don't feel grounded in anything. There is nothing to stand on or hold onto, and you're stuck swimming. Realize the swimming is actually a good thing, it's making you stronger while others are lazily lying on islands of delusion and their muscles are atrophying. You aren't going to drown, you're gonna be ok

Spend enough time to know the big picture macro stuff that's happening in the world, but don't waste your time becoming an encyclopedia of semantics that needs to keep up with every little detail of those happenings. Never follow any one news source consistently, as in don't subscribe to them and worry about consuming the content they put out every day. Rather dabble and constantly jump from one news source to another so you get a well balanced perspective on the "truth" of what is going on. When you start to become a fan of a channel or catch yourself attacking or defending different perspectives, then you've already lost. This isn't to say you aren't allowed to have preferences, just be careful not to get too attached to them.

Most important thing to realize is that you'll be completely fine either way. Make your perspective a win-win. You either get the girl and that's awesome, or you're free to live your life and look for someone else if you want! Good luck @BjarkeT wish you well!

??? Do you have any awareness of how unbelievably unproductive and errant you're being in this thread with comments like this? Then to say "I'm leaving I don't care about this thread." .............only to come back and triple dip into the fire you started with gasoline lined comments? This thread isn't about you @Keyhole. Really consider being careful about what you say to a person in his position, he already used a huge amount of courage and energy to admit some of the things he's done and to look for help. You need to self reflect on some of your tendencies to be reactive and outburst at people when they go against your grain. Think about the fact you're even lecturing a moderator twice your age. The OP even said that he is exhausted from this and is tempted to regress back into his struggle because of the poor conversation here. When you're confronted with a response like that from him have the tact and humility to either apologize, be more gentle, or simply leave like you said you would the first time. I have reported you because this behavior has come from you before, and is not desirable especially in a subsection as delicate as this one.

I imagine many of them in their private lives indulged in learning about spiritual concepts or practices, it's kind of inevitable that you end up stumbling upon those things when you're always thinking about the big deep questions of life. You have to realize though the culture of science that they are in throws the baby out with the bath water by conflating traditional religion and spiritually/mysticism as all the same thing. Anyone who publicly comes out espousing these things too much as a scientist or pushes back against their community will be shunned and ridiculed, which in turn can damage their careers and reputations. They are "stuck" for now, but in 50, 100, 500 years spiritually will perhaps be the main course or at least heavily integrated into science in ways that seems preposterous now. Progress is just slow and it looks bad now because we're in the dark ages relatively. Science isn't really that old when compared to religion.

Focus on improving your own self-esteem and learning to accept yourself more and more, then other peoples opinions of you ultimately will become irrelevant. Rejection actually only has power of you because you let it.

Well you're already onto one of the most important lessons in what you just said - balance. Don't be a doormat for them to walk on or they lose respect for you, but don't be too much of a dick either or they won't want to be around you. Just do the best you can with the knowledge and experience you have. If things still don't work out that's on THEM. You're already doing the best you can so don't worry about it.

Friends with benefits does not exist (unless it's between 2 sociopaths), sooner or later one person will develops feelings or will break the unspoken "contract" of the relationship in some way. Like you've described here. There is nothing to "understand" here. Both of you probably contributed to screwing this arrangement up. And from what you're saying about her it seems she doesn't know what she wants, otherwise she wouldn't have allowed things to become "serious" or demanded she be "treated as a lady". Also don't waste your time thinking about stupid internet terms like simp or incel. The kinds of people that come up with and use those words spend too much time on the internet and not in real life.

If you have ample time pack easy to move expensive things in your car, but please get to safety. No possession including a house is worth risking any harm.

I was doing firefighting for 8 years. You aren't aloud to even have a 5 o'clock shadow most days. Or else your mask won't get a proper seal.

I'm guessing you separated from someone? I may be wrong you'll have to correct me, I'll just give my advice based on that assumption. Apologies in advance if it's not relevant. I just broke up with my partner as well, we've been sorting things out the past month so I know what you're going through. Whether or not you initiated the break-up doesn't matter really matter at this point, it's not useful to dwell on it except for whatever you can extract from it to understand your feelings and move through them. What's important right now to make your mind right is to make the situation a win-win. It would have been a win if you stayed together in your mind right? Realize you are coming up with all those reasons for why it would be great, correct? So that means you're totally capable of coming up with all the good benefits to being apart now. You need to start crafting a vision for yourself and what your life will look like without that person, what does it free you up for? What new passions can you pursue? What burdens or constraints was the relationship putting on you that you're now free of? It may feel hard to come up with those positive answers, but trust me they are there. Don't let the sadness cloud that for you, it's ok to feel shitty and confused and asking "why?", but you need to let those emotions pass after feeling them. Don't suppress them. One more thing that's important is to realize you are a whole person on your own. Even if you have some flaws or inadequacies that they were maybe filling, it could be a good thing you aren't together now because those were now made clear to you. Every relationship whether successful or unsuccessful teaches us something about ourselves that might have been impossible to see on our own. Now you can find out what those things are work on them and make yourself a stronger, healthier, independent person. I hope any of this helps. Take care @allyo2003

Remember women are like bears, she's probably just as scared of you as you are of her. Any nervousness you have will go away the second you sit down and it's happening. Just ask lots of questions and talk about things you like, and ask about what she likes. Good luck mate!

What is the division of labor that is = to the pain of giving biological birth? Since a man can't physically birth a child. When you say "equal partner" are you referring exclusively to financial contribution? Two people can make X amount of dollars but one does everything around the house.

Don't let her pressure you into deciding, or making up your mind for you because you want to please her. Just say that it's too early to be talking about it and you're undecided, DO NOT make a promise you can't keep. It will hurt much more if you put it off for years and years and then have to say you won't marry her. Going into marriage to please her when you don't really want it yourself is the worst idea in the world. It won't last, she WILL divorce you and take half your shit! My girlfriend and I of 1.5 years are breaking up and we're moving out to different parts of Canada, because of part of the same reason. We were on the same track of not wanting to get married (but being open to it) for the first half of the relationship but her values shifted and she for SURE wants to get married and have biological kids, I don't. We love each other so much and never had any fights or fundamental gripes, but our visions just don't line up enough and it would take too much compromise. There is only so much you can bend before breaking. Based on her language and what you've described here......................... it's not gonna work mate. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news and it's inconvenient as hell because you just started living together. But yea start prepping for a break-up and the logistics of figuring out how to move out and getting a new thing started. From what you've told her I guarantee she's already doubting the relationship and sorting through her emotions on how to end it. She's older too, she doesn't want her time wasted. If you really love her and can't give her what she truly wants, you need to have the strength to let her go.

It doesn't really matter which way this scenario goes gender wise with how much women are catching up economically. Anybody with self-respect shouldn't allow their partner to free load. Of course not everybody makes the exact same amount of money so a mature couple should work out how the resources are used and if someone is permitted a break to pursue other things. The idea that the man should be the primary earner or he is somehow less than is outdated patriarchal bullshit. Drop that idea.

Waking up in the middle of the night at the same time, staring at each other having not said a word, then having super deep intimate sex.

Broad decriminalization at the very least, where to go with legalization from there has a lot of factors that might require radically different policies for different places. Legal to buy, legal to have, legal to use. Illegal to manufacturer and distribute. Forgive me as I am not aware of the current up to date statistics of it, but my intuitive understanding of the situation is that it's counter-intuitive. There are actually less users and less harm when a substance is allowed vs when it isn't. I am willing to conceded to the evidence though. My sticking point on the issue is that the little guys (users basically) shouldn't be punished by society just because it's easier and more convenient to go after them. I feel resources are best spent on helping guide people on what drugs actually do and why they should value their health, and giving them ultimate (legal) freedom to make the choice of what they put in their bodies. I believe there would actually be less meth users if this was the case, part of the reason people are drawn to those substances is because it's further down the gateway of other drugs and the hierarchy of things you "shouldn't do". This "keep your hand out of the cookie jar" attitude kind of welcomes and encourages distraught and rebellious people to do it even more. If all substances are on even playing field culturally and legally, then it seems people aren't as interested to do them. This is all just my hunch though I'm not up to date on everything.