Roy

Does he really need to make that explicit, are people really not aware of that possibility? He is the owner and creator of the website, like any other administrator he is going to have full access to all the data. Just like Facebook, Reddit, or text providers, they will be able to look into anything they want to. It's not like there is some magical barrier they can set up for themselves not to be able to see private messages. Like if a crime was committed, how do they think police are able to gather evidence? I'd be amazed if it's that common expectation that people have of things being hidden. That's quite naïve.

How does this relate to moderators? I feel I've been pretty lax about handing out points, yet there are more times than I can count on my fingers where people are obviously not here to learn or try at all. They continuously ask dumb questions, or want to just repeat the same things without engaging in new information being given to them. It gets in the way of helping the people that are here to actually improve their lives. They may not consciously or intentionally be trying to be disruptive, but the damage is all the same. How do we respond effectively to that? Of course I also need to reflect and improve my own posting too.

If you've never had a girlfriend or can't get yourself one within let's say, a month of effort. Then you don't deserve to get a fleshlight, it's a bad idea because you'll get addicted to it and use it as a replacement for doing the work of obtaining a girlfriend. That's the problem with sex toys is they are becoming so good and lifelike that it's dangerous for young inexperienced people to get a hold of them. Why would they ever do the work of hitting big milestones in life like getting laid if they can just stay home? On the other hand if you DO know how, then it can be a great tool that will tie you over for the inevitable downtime in-between relationships. If sex is 10/10, then a fleshlight is about 7 or 8.

There is nothing wrong with porn, or even using it a lot. It's good to release that energy. The problem is if you're using it in place of being able to have sex with someone else. So yeah if you're using it because you don't have the skill to get laid, be honest with yourself about it and quit porn until you can.

Out of the all the things that've been covered on Actualized, solipsism is probably on the lower end of inflammatory or controversial topics. To most people it's just philosophy and a thought experiment because they either don't understand it or don't want to. So it's a bit odd that it's been taken down. However if he is frustrated and doesn't want to talk about it, just let it be.

@Leo Gura Would an apt analogy be consciousness is a tub of water, and we (forms/egos) are water filled balloons within it. When we try to step outside ourselves and "pop" the bubble so to speak, all the water dissolves together, as if there was no balloon anyways?

I would suggest that you actually have time for both, and that you should find a balance that works for you. If you frame things as pursuing one thing OR another you subconsciously put pressure on yourself to get results, which takes away from enjoying the process.

Don't eat until you are full, just eat barely enough so you aren't starving.

They all want the charming player to pick them and have a commitment, but they don't want to hear of all the things you had to do to become that guy. Just don't say anything, even when they ask just play coy and let their imagination run wild. There is basically nothing to gain from sharing history, but there is something to lose. When I'm with someone I care about I really don't give a shit about their past, unless they truly need support to unpack something. Enjoying the moment and planning the future is way more fruitful.

You're way too intelligent and open-minded to be an activist lol. Being an activist takes a certain type of ignorance and personality type.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not lol.

I've always been into learning wilderness survival skills, and had a vague plan of what I'd do. But now I've come to the realization it's completely pointless. It's hilarious seeing people spend millions on underground bunkers and stockpiling guns and food. They are so stupid. If the apocalypse happens, just die. The only winning move is to not play.

She wanted you to buy her a coat after 2 dates? They are getting more ambitious by the day lmao. I'll only buy a gift for a girl after about 1 to 2 months at minimum, and it will be a surprise not because she asked.

I think it's pretty benign. Everyone does it. I mean yeah it's not the greatest thing, but it's just a fun little social game people play. I think you're more angry at the people that you can tell take it way too seriously and use it as a way to objectify women.

Time heals all. You made the right choice, it just doesn't fully feel like it right now because there is still heartbreak. It will fade though. All you have to do right now is focus on what you have to do in the immediate future and put yourself in that.

1. The United States isn't really a "nation". It's a federation or "union" of independent states that function more or less like countries. Kind of like how the Soviet Union wasn't just Russia, but Russia + a bunch of other pre-existing nations. That's part of what makes the US so powerful, is these states have more autonomy to focus on what they need and not be bogged down by high authorities. Of course they don't always get this right and can be selfish in spite of the larger picture and interests of the union. 2. Is this really a question? Yea not having reproductive rights sucks, but imagine not having those + genital mutilation, forced marriages, no access to education, no access to certain recreational activities, no recourse to being assaulted or raped, living under constant physical threat, not being able to drive, being suppressed from expressing yourself and how you dress, etc. If Texas is the 1st layer of hell for women, Afghanistan is the 6th or 7th. Afghanistan is underdeveloped though as a nation, and hasn't been stable for literally hundreds of years. They've been under the boot of one imperial superpower after another, from the Mughals to the British to the Russians to the Americans. Things will only start to get better in that country once the Taliban gets sufficient time to implement their rule, and then it runs its course and the people get sick of it and want something better. This is evolution. It takes a long time and it sucks.

These are good things to do after you've already had sex a bunch of times, and been on a number of dates. This approach won't work on the first few dates in the attraction phase. you will get rejected by the majority of women. They want you to be mysterious, guarded, and play games with their head early on to get them interested. If you act super vulnerable and spill the beans and your feelings too early, they will make assumptions about you being needy or they'll be suspicious. How a man has to behave attracting a woman vs how they can behave after some sort of relationship is formed are two completely different things. Let's not pretend otherwise, it just confuses everyone. There is no such thing as high consciousness pick-up, at least not yet.

There are great perks to living with your parents, and lots of great perks living independently. Make a list of pros and cons for each and really contemplate what you want most.

The way through this is to completely own it and not care what your friend may or may not think.

No I don't analyze stuff like that too much. All that matters to me is chemistry and attraction. I guess I have a boyish charm

From what I know about art and how I feel when I'm creating it, is it feels like the universe is expressing itself and you are simply the host from which is flows through.

True. It's not that it doesn't happen where the woman is the older one, it's just not as common. My last few partners have been a handful of years older than me, idk what I'm doing to break the norm haha.

There are a handful of reasons, these are the ones I know of off the top of my head and it's all debatable. - Women generally are more mature than men, and people tend to bond best with others of the same maturity level. Hence why you see lots of relationships with the man being older than the other way around. - The older and more experienced you are the easier it is to manipulate, groom, and control someone younger and less experienced. I think this is true regardless of gender. - An older guy knows they have resources, experiences, etc. that they can use to massively outcompete younger men for those younger women. So why wouldn't they? An example that parodies this are sugar daddy relationships. It's a lot harder the other way around, because younger men don't have a lot to offer older women besides well, their youth, energy, excitement, adventure.

I used to have panic attacks but I've managed to cure them. Haven't had any for many years. What worked for me was realizing the experience simply isn't rational more or less, it's your body and mind running away with it's own conclusion (and that you must panic about it), and you are just along for the ride. However that doesn't have to be the case, and there are ways to get back in the drivers seat. There are things you can think and remind yourself to ease or stop the symptoms. Of course it will be hard in the moment but you must still give them a shot. - I am safe where I am. I am NOT in danger. - What do I really have to be worried about? - I am healthy. Alternatively you can get out of your head if you find it's not helping. Start to do something where you are getting into your body and relaxing. Go take a shower, go for a walk, relax with a pet. It doesn't matter what it is, just don't waste time and start doing something where you are actively using your body and not just thinking. It's part of the dwelling and the anxiety you feel about panic attacks that feed the cycle and make it worse. Breathing exercises are good but they also didn't work for me much either, don't be afraid to move on from one thing if you find it's not working and don't get angry if something doesn't help. My getting over them basically came with hindsight. I realized that the panic attacks weren't really "true" and didn't reflect anything that resonated with me. Now whenever I feel one coming on I just remind myself of that and they evaporate. Of course there may be a deeper reason why they manifest, and it may be obvious or not very clear what that is. You'll have to find that out but I suggest doing it from a calm place. Hope any of this helps.