Roy

You all need to desperately learn and practice acceptance. You're neurotically unwilling to accept the reality that feminists do things that make you mad, and think reality should be another way. They should be perfectly logical, not make mistakes, and behave the way YOU think they should behave. Which if you searched for honestly enough you'd find it would be extremely biased towards your own desires and survival needs. Step outside of yourself for one moment and consider getting an eagle eye view of history to realize the truth (and it is the truth); Men have been historically favored over women for thousands and thousands of years in many aspects. Guess what? We're now in the part of history where they are able to fight back. Do you think they are going to fight clean? Should they fight clean? No, stop being so naive. Saying they should be this way or that way is a projection of your ego. They are behaving in a way that is inconvenient to you. Too bad, quit whining like a little bitch. You sound like a woman! (See what I did there?) Transcend this stupidity. You're keeping the pigs in the mud longer than they have to be by getting in there and trying to wrestle them out. Worst of all you're covered in mud now too. You are literally creating all of your own problems and stress, and you aren't even aware of it.

Before you should tackle the deeper stuff let's just start grasping simple physical infinity with this example. So picture the world exactly as it is right now, now outside your house look at the first patch of dirt you see. Now try to guess all the individual grains of sand in that patch of dirt. Let's say 25 million just because we have to pick a number, each grain has a number to identify it, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, so on up to 25 million. Now imagine the universe again exactly as it is right now, except grain 57,896 is switched with grain 7,454,831. That is a different potentiality than the one we're in right now. "God" could even make an endless amount of changes just to the qualities of each grain of sand! Imagine the displacement of any single atom, molecule, or any other appearance in reality. You'll quickly find that it's hilarious semantics to try and assume we could possibly imagine or map all these differences out because they are literally (in every sense of the word) endless. Another way to describe Infinity is, "Endless Potentiality in all possible and impossible directions." Not to put you down but you're making a mistake by ascribing human qualities and emotions to God. Existence wouldn't become "hell". or God wouldn't get "bored" because God isn't a separate entity. God didn't even create Infinity. God is the Infinity.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Because you can reach all those states sober and wouldn't need to spend hundreds of dollars on weed that rots your lungs? Your ego is justifying the addiction by telling itself you have brain fog sober and need pot.

I don't think you're fully grasping what infinity means lol.

The neurotic urge to be always "right" and not "wrong" and "perfect" is a very materialist, fact of the matter, ego based attitude to have. As is the applause you're giving it. That's not only fine but necessary when the context is mostly scientific and pragmatic. Of course details matter. But too often Sam and others alike spend and waste so much damn time checking semantics instead of connecting to the larger human picture. Even if you have a stage Yellow attitude and strategy and intentions going in, you can still get triggered and bogged down like he does and come out of the discussion with neither person having learned anything. If he was truly a pure stage Yellow thinker like you believe this wouldn't occur nearly as often as it does. Believe me mate, I've probably consumed and followed him just as much of him as you have. Possibly more who knows :P! I'm sure there would be some fruitful nuggets to be had from him talking to a Turquiose Guru. But I'd be willing to bet there would be a lot more of Sam getting frustrated and focusing too much running every concept and idea that came his way through his filter of logic and rationality. He is still too invested in Orange. It's clear as day. Sam needs to stop all his books and projects, quit social media. public interviews and showings for a year, take his family and go live in a cabin, do isolated meditation retreats every so often, and take psychedelics a few more times. If he did all that and came back he would be a fucking POWERHOUSE and would lift millions more people from ignorance.

When you have the capacity to do Absolute Good, and your actions aren't in accordance with that capacity; You are failing as a Spiritual being.

@Endangered-EGO You are thinking too much in absolutes. The spiral is blended, it's not a blocked staircase with strict walls around every quality. Psychedelics don't "belong" to turquoise. They are tools that exist that catalyze the opening of the mind and changing of perspective. Both of which usually trend someone up the spiral but if the experience goes wrong it can send them back down temporarily or they might not move at all. Sam Harris has much green in him. His political attitudes are green, he supports legalization of drugs, he encourages and has done vegetarianism/veganism etc. etc. Does this make him purely green? No. Once again with the limited thinking; Yes Sam Harris is fighting against Green, because Stages are broad and expansive and include a LOT of people. It includes the radical SJW feminists bloggers and it includes your local volunteer tree planters that aren't even aware of their agenda. Where do you think he is coming from when he's criticizing and fighting those kinds of Green people anyways? It's the attachment in stage Orange in him that is focusing too much on the minutia and content of what they are saying and ignoring the more important large scale change in structure that they are trying to make (whether they are aware of it or not). The illogical and hasty progressivism is just a means to an end because they aren't fully developed Green. You're being resistant, because it appears you've already had your mind made up when you made this thread. You're attached and idolizing Sam and his teachings instead of being an honest observer. Reality and people are complex. People don't just suddenly hop from one generalized stereotype to the next as they move up the spiral LOL. You don't go from a Mafia boss, to a Christian family man, to a greedy Oil Tycoon, to a Pot Smoking Hippy, to a UN ambassador, to a modern Jesus. Everything is mixed and muddy.

I love Sam Harris! I started my whole intellectual/philosophical journey with him back in 2013 while also listening to people like Terence McKenna! For that point in my life where I was probably a mix of 65% Orange 35% Green he resonated huge with me. He gave me a strong scientific/rational/logical basis to ground myself in but also taught some more advanced concepts like challenging Free Will as an illusion, introducing meditation, and taking on a more communal "green" attitude towards politics with less affinity for materialism in our culture (economic not meta-physical). I think Sam is a fantastic bridging point to get stage Orange people to really start considering expanding to the next level. However it's also apparent he's just soooo damn good at debating and being a champion of reason I think people burrow themselves in that because it's so comfortable for the mind. You have to realize that Sam's survival is grounded in maintaining his worldview for the time being. He is a public speaker allied with many other academics and scientists, he is an arbiter for rationality, he is a damn neuroscientist on top of it lol! It's simply not in his interest for his public persona or income to branch away from that too much. I bet if Sam took a few years off to get away from trying to always fight our toxic culture and politics, take his meditation to the next level, and have some more psychedelic experiences he would come back almost fully Yellow and be in a position to really raise a lot more people with him. Yes Sam has a decent amount of Yellow right now but it's more like 45% Orange 30% Green 25% Yellow. That's just probably the truth about it. I stopped consuming content from him about 2 years ago, though I check back now and then to ground myself a bit and because I like him.

A strategy that I think is much easier is instead of trying to tackle and break the hard ice of modern pick-up, focus on swimming with the water under it and work on personal development in all the areas except the pick-up. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to be perfect in all these things before you even start looking for a woman. Just make steady and stable improvement in them you'll naturally attract better and better women more frequently simply as a by-product. You'll also cut the quantity of work you have to do by doing pick-up by a magnitude of 10x, and you'll avoid a LOT of painful rejections. - Work on doing well at your job and/or discover your life purpose. Enjoying and being passionate about what you do is huge for a lot of other things. It will give you the basic happiness and fulfillment you need during the day (because you have to be doing something during the day anyways!) and it'll give you the resources (money) to pursue all the other stuff. Leo is big and on this and the Life Purpose Course he made is pretty damn good and affordable (like $200 US now?). - Fix, improve, optimize your health. Clean up your damn diet so you don't feel like shit and have bad thoughts about yourself (mind&body connection)! Come up with a gym routine, play pick-up games with friends, join a league for a sport you like, WHATEVER you gotta do to exercise just fucking do it lol. You'll start to feel way better in your body and after a while you'll find you won't be judging yourself (mind&body connection) for being "ugly" or out of shape. You'll gain natural confidence as a by product of feeling strong. - Invest time into genuine hobbies and interests you have. Not only is it fun, but you'll be interesting and have something to talk about with girls. It's attractive as hell hearing someone who is contagious with their passion for something, it's unattractive to be boring and not have anything to talk about passionately and just be like "meh" about everything. - Volunteer or get involved with your local community in some capacity. It feels really good and can be really beneficial for developing social skills outside the pressure of work or dating where you're in the context of something being expected of you. Once again something to build confidence and happiness. There is lots of other stuff but that will keep you busy. Pick-up can be really toxic and give you a warped view of women if you're coming from a place of desperation. I ONLY recommend it if you are completely socially inept with initial attraction and need to learn basic skills, then it's quite useful. Anyways the reason I suggested you work on that other stuff instead of pick-up and relationship advice is because it's more important. If you're struggling in all the other areas it won't matter even if you get a girlfriend because chances are you likely won't keep her, unless she's doing as bad as you are (easy/whores like you mentioned) in which case it's just going to be a disaster of a relationship and it will keep you from growing. Not to mention the obvious; There are way more important things in life than getting your dick wet, it's just for a lot of guys to see that because they are so thirsty it's like they are dehydrated in the desert they become delusional and lose sight of what's important. The only solution they think is to get stuck in that immature cycle of selfish behavior for years to make up for having to wait. Don't be like those guys. Anyways I'll finish by warning you don't put all your eggs in one basket of trying to solve this problem by only focusing on getting good with girls and doing pick-up. Whether you realize it or not you'll be approaching it from a place of need and desperation and generally women are pretty intuitive and will be able to recognize that and this will turn them off. Addressing your concerns in short; 1. Improve yourself broadly. You'll get rejected less and have higher self esteem so rejections stop hurting. 2. Come from a place of abundance. Relationships and sex are not the most important thing to you. Believe that and you'll become less creepy/aggressive. 3. Accept the reality of your past and current. It may not appear so but consider you might actually subconsciously like moping about it. Whatever the case acceptance is key, then you can move onto healing. 4. Take responsibility for your health and grooming. All that matters is how attractive YOU think you are. Embrace your ego here until you transcend it and don't need it. Some girl thinks you're a 6? "Bitch please, I'm an 8 at least. And I know it because I'm ripped and healthy." 5. Women are counter-intuitive and illogical. This isn't a bad thing. Accept this and embrace your feminine side and you'll grow to appreciate this. Your frustration comes from neurotically trying to interpret women through a male worldview. Deliberately step outside of yourself and into their shoes. You'll shed toxic ideas and become better at healthy relationships. I hope this helps - Roy

Science is built upon certain assumptions and beliefs about reality, which is attached to and defended by people being taught or experiencing facts/mathematics/experiments. Religion is built upon certain assumptions and beliefs about reality, which is attached to and defended by people being taught or experiencing religious history/dogma/traditions. Actualized.Org or any other alternative is built upon assumptions and beliefs about reality, which is attached to and defended by people being taught or experiencing first person phenomena/contemplation/reflection. If one is to self-actualize, improve them-self, or go about their life trying to understand the world in any capacity, it's always just an attempt. Nobody can ever truly claim they've got the "holy grail", because if they are ACTUALLY honest with themselves and doing true questioning and reflection of their themselves, their beliefs, and their worldviews they'll find that everything is groundless. People are going to sit on the thing that they like most or makes the most sense to their ego, until they are shown otherwise and move to the next best thing from wherever they're at. Is it a fair statement to say that even those who are enlightened, involved in these kind of communities, and even Leo himself aren't completely in touch with that? Otherwise why spend any energy, time, or resources in ones life criticizing, defending, or espousing if it's hypocrisy? After all, everyone is just trying to make an attempt at understanding reality to the best of their capacity are they not? The religious criticize the uncivilized, The scientists criticize the religious, the post-rationalists and spiritual criticize the scientists, then so on and and so on. My point is isn't the real work to be positionless? Instead of resting in the sea of life with ones arms attached to a buoy, shouldn't one be perpetually swimming and treading water for infinity to really be growing? Is resting in any capacity a failure by spiritual introspective standards? Is the only true indicator of a teachings or ideologies "truth" and validity the amount of hostility it projects outwards into the world? Because as people move up the spiral they obviously get less violent and less needy to convert others. I'm just curious how people feel about this. I by no means am enlightened or anything, just another trying to make sense of things.

@Leo Gura I've finished rewatching, "What is Actuality". I still remember what you've said in it since I watched it a year ago, and I've noticed I've changed my orientation more towards first person experience vs concepts and ideas. So progress! Though I think I've pinpointed the answer to what has been nagging me at me, but I'd like your input if you don't mind; The distinction between science, religion, and other modes of thought compared to the ones discussed here is that although they also use first person experience as well, they ascribe far too many qualities, context, and labels during and after the experience. So much so that they have gone through and ignored the actuality. Building unnecessary and dysfunctional paradigms in the process. It's like scoring a soccer ball on goalposts with no net, they already scored and they just keep on dribbling the ball having not realized it! The conscious decontextualization of experience is key.

Yes marijuana can be extremely addictive. It's amusing how quickly heavy users who are usually so "chill" will scramble out of the woodwork to cram "science" and endless arguments in your face to try and prove otherwise. It's just the ego trying to justify the habit. Obviously, pot in comparison is one of the safest recreational drugs that exists, but this is just a deflection from the reality of what it does to people. Far too often I see people convincing themselves they aren't addicted and they get really defensive when it's brought up. Yet they do it very frequently, the definition of a habit or addiction. They rationalize the addiction in their mind by saying it helps them be "spiritual", it elevates their ability, and it makes them less stressed and more calm. All that may be completely true and I won't fight that (I felt the same I used to smoke weed a lot as well), but what they need to become conscious of is that it is completely possible to attain those states regularly without depending on a substance. In most cases it is just people being lazy and using these positive states they experience as once again an excuse to justify not being able to stop. Despite what people will say it is a low tier substance like nicotine and alcohol. It clouds the mind and distracts from the necessity of sober life needed for spiritual work. Once you get transcend the immaturity of stage orange and green attitudes towards marijuana you will see this too. Before anyone backlashes to what I'm saying I'll point out I'm a young person who grew up smoking a lot of weed. I am fully for the legalization and decriminalization of all drugs, despise the war on drugs and the corrupt prison systems, and support social programs and rehabilitation centers.

The past few years I've done deliberate solo adventures/exploration of the world locally, I have a 14 foot 1 person Kayak meant for long distances. I mostly do day trips because I've rarely had more than 1 day off in a row with my last job, but want to integrate more overnight trips in the future once I've moved to Vancouver island so I can sleep removed and undistracted from society and therefore have a chance to integrate any insights I have overnight without waking up in the regular buzzing human world. I've never purposely done any practices or meditation during these trips because I simply find the act of doing the trips themselves is a spiritual and meditative process. I am in nature, where everything is raw, brutal, real, and unfiltered and I am completely dependent on myself for my survival. Every action I do is piercingly intentional. It let's me think the most clearly I can in life because I am connected to the simplicity of being an animal. If I want to get somewhere like across a body of water, or up to the top of a cliff I need to use myself, my body, my desire to get there. There is a tremendous satisfaction in this process for me and it's extremely peaceful. I prefer to do roughly half existing routes with half unmapped stuff but this can be quite dangerous if you don't have basic survival and navigation skills. It takes a thoughtful mix of preparation and spontaneity to come up with an adventure so it doesn't feel like a chore or unsatisfying. These feelings can be amplified when you're in solitude so you need to consider that before doing any solo trip. I am quite confident and comfortable with being completely alone for long periods of time and when I tell people about some of the trips I've done their jaw drops or they can get quite judgmental. Be prepared to face a lot of internal and external resistance, and remind yourself to look forward to the satisfaction!

Vision. Create it by imagining a future state or situation that you desire, and that matches your authentic values and attitudes about life. Maintain it by imposing consistent, powerful, and motivational reminders of your vision - Every day. The human mind is limited, and therefore forgetful. You need to constantly pound the message in over and over.

That is the harsh reality you must accept if you're seeking a long term partner that is as developed as you. If you're in a heavily stage orange society as a mostly stage green person, statistically it's just going to be more difficult for you to find people that resonate with you. That said you don't need to exclusively date only people at the same point in life as you, it's entirely possible to have an awesome long term relationship with someone who isn't like you at all, and you end up balancing each other out and contributing radically different things to the relationship. If you are after that person that is most compatible though. You basically need to act, position yourself, and participate in the world in a way that is most authentic to your values and attitudes. As a stage green guy you going to have a hard time finding that stage green girl by hanging out at a mall or a bar hitting on people lol. Your chances will go way up if perhaps, you're at a volunteer tree planting event, or at a concert like Burning Man. It might take a long time for you to find that suitable partner, but that's the cost you pay for having standards. I've never had any problems with attracting women, but I was single from 19-24 because as I discovered myself I learned that I didn't want to waste time with people that weren't a long term match for how developed I was. The pay off from that is now being in an extremely healthy and joyous relationship with whom I'm quite certain is my soulmate! Learn yourself deeply, and then everything else will fall into place with time.

That's very helpful @Serotoninluv thanks.

@Leo Gura I agree, and I'm genuinely pursuing becoming more of the territory. It's just where I'm currently at one of the concerns I have is how does one discern the territory they discover isn't truly any different from the maps of religion, science, or belief? Is radical open-mindedness discarded temporarily so the Absolute can be embraced?

You see, that judgement right there is what I'm getting at. The act of participating in the game of making distinctions and pointing out differences in the "content" (between science/religion/new-age) is the failure of open-mindedness and perspective, because regardless of what content people attribute to themselves we're all coming from the same starting point or "structure" of making an attempt at understanding reality. Make no mistake, it is always an attempt, because you'll always discard something to move onto the next most convenient or relevant thing. I'm not arguing that the higher up in the spiral or development one reaches there aren't more favorable qualities like consciousness, awareness, reflection, non-violence compared to the lower end. I'm just pointing out I think this is center of why there seems to be a lack of authentic humility even among the most advanced of us. This lack of humility can be a subtle thorn that stunts the development of those considered lower on the spiral.

They are scared of the unknown. They can't think of a reasonable explanation on their own. Or refuse to accept one presented to them. They latch onto something quickly that fills that gap, regardless of the intellectual consequences. It feels good, that's all that matters.

Just for the sake of conversation, why would you say that? It appears to me that pretty much everyone in the world that has their basic survival taken care of and has the luxury of pursuing these abstract goals, especially like those in this community and Leo himself talk about obtaining these insights and experiences as if they are holy grails. For example I understand "nothing" conceptually (I think :P), but having not gone through a transcendent enlightenment experience of realizing nothing I am still in a state of pursuing that particular holy grail/insight. Even the process of transcending and realizing "nothing" is a holy grail right? (a thing that is being earnestly pursued or sought after.) I apologize for being so antagonistic, I've just had a hard time grasping and embodying non-duality. I'll need to get back and watch Leo's series on it and read some books. I have a feeling the conclusion of this line of thinking is like the 10th Ox herding picture of Zen? Once you reach all those states and transcend you return to the marketplace and come full circle?

Isn't that untrue? To be truly positionless is the absence of all qualities of any position. I'm going to challenge myself and guess that I'm going to have to concede I'll always have some beliefs and let go of my attachment to radical openmindedness?

@Forrest Adkins Don't get caught in the low consciousness trap of male vs female. We live in a dynamic world where there are so moving parts and differences, that you can spend eternity arguing about the advantages and disadvantages of each gender. Don't join the pigs wrestling in the mud, walk past the pen.

Sorry about your situation, but I'm glad you have the mindset to take responsibility. That's the massive first step so congrats! Now let's look at what you can do to change it; - SAVE HARDCORE This is your main priority. Having a good job is awesome, keep that job and take advantage of every little benefit and bonus you can get out of it. Really pay attention to exactly how you spend your money. Once every 2 weeks when you get paid, review your spending habits so you know what to cut out. It only takes 10-15 minutes to look at it and contemplate what you don't need. I tell you from personal experience, you won't realize how much money you're wasting on stupid shit until you see it in raw numbers. This is a free and legit website that will track everything once you plug your accounts in, really simple to set up and use https://www.mint.com/ Once you start to save a few thousand dollars, you'll feel empowered and less stressed having that safety net, and you'll be able to create some freedom for yourself in the future without being limited by money. - Make it a daily goal to grab a tea or coffee, sit down, and browse for 20-30 minutes for reasonable places to rent and room with people. Just getting out of that house is going to raise your baseline happiness and kill a LOT of stress. It might take a lot of searching to find a good place but it will be worth all that time looking. - Evaluate your debt and come up with a plan. Go to https://old.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/ and post exactly what your situation is anonymously, people are really helpful there. How much exactly do you have to pay? How long do you have to pay it off? Is it worth it to save money now to get your own place and just do minimum payments for a while? Learn about your debt and ask these questions. The sooner you get on this the more your future self will thank you! Acting on it will get rid of your negative thoughts about your debt. - Don't move back with your mom. That just sounds unwise financially and stressful as hell. - If your spare time is being spent around her and her toxic family, consider taking on a part-time job or volunteering on your days off for some hours here and there. You'll make extra money, feel fulfilled, and probably most importantly you're away from them! It might take 3-6 months until you make some real bank and find a good place, but it will be worth the effort. So make the best of your current situation and take advantage of everything you can. You deserve the best - Roy

I empathize (the best I can) with people living in poorer or more dangerous countries. I am trying to imagine how much of a struggle it might be to pursue these kinds of things with so many resistance forces acting against you. However I would just like to say don't let the resentment of the way your society or culture is force you into feeling like you have to "escape". It is entirely possible for you to live an amazing fulfilled life where you are at (it just might take extra work but that's worth it isn't it?). Who knows, perhaps you'll serve as an inspirational beacon for those similar to you where you live!