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Do you actually suck at balance? Or are you just focusing on one area more than others? Balance is a nuanced thing. It's not I do work 20%, relationships 20%, health 20%, spiritual growth 20% and family 20%. That's a simplistic notion of balance. In the way I or Leo might talk about balance, you could be spending 95% of your time doing one thing and still be balanced. The question is, what do you want? Balance is relative based on your current goals. Also, balance is not something you just achieve and then it's over. It's more like continually walking a tight-rope, with adjustments being made every step of the way. My gut reaction is to say you need to prioritize and being willing to cut shit out that you really don't want. Many people can't balance things because they can't say no.

@Lynnel Noticing is definitely the first step. So congratulations on that. Now KEEP noticing every time it comes up. Be aware of when it happens and how it influences your behavior directly. Remember that our shadows / judgments about other people are never about them, they are about us. So if you're noticing these kind of beliefs, ask yourself: how is this really about me? What pain might you still be holding on? It could be leftover feelings of resentment from not being successful with women. It could be hurt from a breakup. That's for you to dive in and figure out.

@Sagatarius Yup, time to fly from the nest. You may have to wait to see how he reacts to you leaving for school. Are you financially independent? What are you waiting for to leave for school?

I'm not saying you're wrong. But notice that your judgment of guys who do pickup actually handicaps your own ability to improve in this area. You WANT to get better with women, you WANT to learn the skills necessary to get an amazing relationship and you probably want sex more than you realize. But doing it would make you "shallow". Shallow = bad, and you don't want to be "bad". If it's not important then you won't get it. I've done a good amount of cold approach at this point in my life. The sheer volume of women who you should never want to be in a relationship with is huge. Not because they're bad people, but just because you're not right for each other. So how are you planning on finding that 1% of women who you seriously connect without meeting a bunch in the first place? Also, think of how important sexual chemistry is in a relationship for both parties. I would NEVER get in a relationship with a woman before having sex because I don't know if we're going to be a match in that area. It's insane that anyone would leave that up to chance.

It doesn't matter if I'm sure, it won't help you. Take time to think about it for yourself. Who takes a shit if there is no-self to take a shit? We're using relative language here.

@Anirban657 Do whatever you want. You seem like you know the answer you want anyway. I'm just playing devil's advocate. How long have you been meditating? Sometimes it can take time for the turmoil to start.

What explanation did he give? He may be right. I don't know you but meditation is not for everyone. It's a mentally grueling process that can cause a lot of emotional turmoil.

First off, "good" and "bad" relative. Jesus was one of the most loving people to ever be alive but a whole bunch of people wanted him dead. Second, you aren't yet conscious enough of why people tend to commit acts like murder. You're assuming that people's DEFAULT is to be mass murdering psychopaths and that only societal rules keep order. I've found it's the exact opposite. These societal rules largely had to be formed because of ego. A human's default is actually love. It's the wounds and unconscious conditioning we receive growing up that take us away from that state. And that's why if you want to heal the planet, you have to heal yourself first.

First rule of studying self-actualization: you have to figure out what advice to listen to and what to ignore. If you're a high school graduate, I would not be prioritizing things like "minimize my life". That's advice for people who are already successful in the world but who have picked up extreme work / lifestyle habits in order to get to that point. That's not you. You should be hustling to figure out your life purpose. As far as fun, you need to start making a distinction between healthy fun and unhealthy fun. Otherwise you're just going to be a miserable, boring dude. Healthy fun might be things like yoga, hiking, working on your life purpose, creating art, socializing with good friends, swimming, etc. Unhealthy fun is more like drugs, TV and other time wasting bullshit.

If it is a energy block than something like Reiki or Tai Chi could help. Or just try moving the energy with your imagination + attention. You need an energy based solution for energy problems.

Realize that the goal of SDS is not to run up your time score of sitting still, like a video game. That's more of a result. The goal is actually to bring up as much resistance as possible while staying mindful. For instance, I could sit very comfortably doing SDS on my nice soft bed for 1.5 hours. Maybe more. But if I were to do SDS while sitting on an uncomfortable rock in the blazing sun, that would be much harder. I'd might only last 15 minutes. So I'd actually much rather make SDS as hard as possible than do things to make it easier. Making it easier defeats the purpose. The more you stay mindful when the resistance comes, the more you will emotionally release. And that is how you will be able to sit for longer periods of time. Side tangent, if you have problems with people disturbing you with meditation than you 1) need stronger boundaries and need to let people know you're not available because you're meditating and 2) should try in the morning before you talk to anyone

@Hardkill It definitely seems like you've made an honest effort so let's make this productive. Where are you screwing up in your interactions with women? Do you open your mouth and they run away? Do you go on dates and then nothing happens? Where in the process from meeting -->> having sex do things go wrong?

@Anton It's true that Leo's videos have probably influenced you, but also think about the fact that YOU brought yourself to Leo. So there was something in you that sought this information out in the first place. These are powerful ideas. You shouldn't feel brainwashed just because you see the value in them. You can always find your own niche in the spritiuality / self help world if that's where you truly end up. In the mean time, keep following your curiosity, truth and joy.

You could definitely do things like meditation or yoga. But how about also actually meeting a real girl? Might not be so crazy.

@OnceMore You need more women in your life. Case closed. You've created this absurd fantasy because it's the only women that seems like a realistic option. Go do some pickup, get on tinder or maybe just go meet some female friends at yoga. But you've got to cut this fantasy shit.

Right idea...wrong execution. Great, so you looked non-needy. But guess what it got you? Jack shit. She said "hi" to you so she's clearly looking to engage in some sort of conversation. She's not going to think you're weird for responding, that's what she's HOPING for. It's a lay up brother. Take the easy ones when they come. Literally saying anything would have been better than nothing in that situation. And even if you do look desperate, so what? I will take looking desperate over looking "cool" if looking desperate it what will actually get a result. Don't be confined by these general principles.

"I just want money though, I really don't care about creating a network of contacts and starting a business, just so I can get money. To me that just seems like too much work for money. I don't know maybe I am just rationalizing not challenging my current identity, but I really would just like spending my time mediating and being a guy who doesn't have a job but can still have money when I want it." ^This is what I see when I read what you wrote. If you don't want sex, fine. Just admit you don't want it and you're not willing to do what it takes. But this idea that you shouldn't have to work, challenge your comfort zone or change yourself in order to get sex is ridiculous. And maybe you could argue that the raw pleasure you get from sex isn't worth all the struggle it would take to get there. But truthfully that's only a small benefit you can get from learning Game. When done right, the real benefit is the growth you get as a person. The fact that you will have to confront deep rooted fears night after night makes Game a healing process for guys who are growing up with this pain point. And that's really just the start. Does that mean you have to learn Game? Of course not, there's many ways to do what I just said. But if you want sex AND you want personal transformation, Game can be a powerful way to grow.

You already largely do. You just don't realize it yet. Are you pumping your heart? Growing your hair? Digesting your food? Breathing? Creating blood cells? Or are all these things (plus an unimagineable number more) just happening? Of course, you do make decisions. But who makes the decision to make that decision? And who makes the decision to make that decision? So on and so forth/ Where do your choices even come from? Do your choices just appear as a thought? And if they just appear as a thought, did you control that you would have that thought? And if you control that you would have that thought, did you control the thought that had that thought? Or do thoughts just appear with no control from you at all? Maybe everything is just happening. Maybe you're not doing anything at all, while simultaneously doing everything.

@ThirdEyeSees Part of this work is that you have to learn how to balance the material world with your spiritual goals. I don't think abandoning your kids or abandoning your spiritual work is the answer. I've never had kids but I'd try integrating the two. Lead by example. Maybe your kids would want to join you in a spiritual practice like meditation, yoga or tai chi. Have healthy food around the house for them to eat. Show them what a conscious relationship looks like by working on your own if you have one. Show them how to properly handle money by mastering money yourself. Etc etc

@john5170 I've noticed the same thing. Your dreams aren't random. Whenever I have a deeply vivid dream, it always contains insights into my own shadows / what I still have left to purify in my subconscious. So it may be the result of you starting your spiritual purification work through meditation. Have you noticed anything significant about the content of these dreams?

@TJ Reeves I resonate with this 100%. I always heard how men repress their emotions growing up but I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. In reality, I just had no awareness of how much I was stuffing things down. Things I've cried over recently: 1) Music I love 2) Seeing people coming together for a common good 3) Helping others 4) No reason at all, just happy to be alive It's powerful too, stronger than most emotions I can remember growing up. But I love it.

@Vladimir I'm glad you're still going out and actually approaching women. And if your strategy works for you, great. I'm not going to argue. But I've seen a lot of guys who have tried to fix their dating life without being pragmatic and they fuck up a lot. Essentially what you're saying is measuring your results and setting tangible goals = being neurotic. But that's simply not true. Try running a business and saying "oh, I don't need to do things like measure revenue, expenses or set quarterly goals. That's so low consciousness. It's all about just connecting authentically to your customer". I guarantee you will fail. Health is the same way. Do you think professional bodybuilders just wing it? Or are they tracking every calorie, every exercise, every macro? How about landing a man on the moon? Should we just "follow our intuition"? Or should we actually have some engineers do some calculations and set targets? Do you keep a clock to measure time? How about a schedule? A drawer to keep your bank statements? And if we grant that measuring, planning and goal setting is important, why does it suddenly become unimportant when it comes to improving your dating life? Here's the nuance to what I'm saying: you can measure your results and set goals in a non-neurotic way. "OMG, I set a goal for 5 dates this month and only got 4. I suck so bad. Let me cry and put a gun in my mouth" = neurotic, perfectionism, recipe for failure. "Oh, I got 4 out of the 5 dates I wanted this month. That's awesome, let's objectively look at what I did to learn and grow to do even better" = growth oriented, accepting of feedback, positive self-image, actualizing potential. So the evil is not in measuring or goal setting. It's in how you go about it and your intentions. You have a logical, left side of your brain for a reason. Being a strategic and analytical is a beautiful thing as long as you know its limits. But you also need to know the limits of your strategy of "being authentic". Because that will only take you so far as well.

I'd keep in mind that this is not an "either or" decision. Many public speakers post on YouTube as well. If you want more money because you want to contribute more to veganism, understand it's not going to happen unless you are doing something you feel is valuable. A software development company you have little to no passion for is not going to get very far. So I'm going to tell you what work is or is not valuable. Only that you have to decide for yourself. Also, if you're working for Mercy For Animals, how is that not contributing to veganism? What rule says that the only way to help animals is to cut a big check? Just because non-profit Presidents are always looking for donations? Why can't you set the standard?

@Vladimir Emotional mastery is absolutely vital and it's good you've realized inner game is important. But... it's only one half of the equation. First off, your mind needs tangible goals to reach onto. When you say "my goal is emotional mastery", that's such a vague concept that it doesn't mean anything. How will you know when you achieve it? How will you truly know when you're making progress and backsliding? But if you say "my goal is 5 dates this month" or "my goal is to talk to 10 girls tonight", now you have something very specific to get to work on. You'll either succeed or fail. And you'll know where you stand right away and can start making adjustments. Second, how do you plan on getting better with women when you don't actually spend time talking to women? Imagine that someone told you that the way to become an amazing guitarist was by focusing on "emotional mastery" instead of actually playing guitar. Third, the process of going out and meeting women in of itself can create the emotional mastery you're talking about. You're going to have to push through your fears day in and day out, working through them in the process. The other side of the equation is pragmatism. Do you live in a place where you have access to the women you want to date? The right clothes? If you like clubs, how about knowing the name of the doorman on the night you go out? The difference between getting a girls phone number and Snapchat? Where is the best after-hours place? Create a more holistic perspective and that's when you'll really see results. That's when you combine all the great inner game techniques you listed and the practical, down to earth concerns that need to be addressed as well.

@ShapeShift His journey is a great example of what the awakening process can look like in the early stages. Ego runs the house until the inherent unsustainability of the system catches up. I've got friends who had the same thing. They were highly successful, but the way they went about it eventually causes everything to fall apart. That's when they're forced to grow. It doesn't have to happen that way but it is almost an inevitablity for anyone living that life.