aurum

Love this book. My good friend who is one of the most charismatic people I know recommended it to me.

Self-development is a journey. Some of the content Leo is putting out right now is very advanced and might not be right for you right now. I won't say it definitely isn't, but just consider it. If I was in high school, I would do normal things like try and have a social life. Those are nice things to have. I'd also say it's never too early to start mediating. Maybe try that and see how you like it.

Glad to hear you're making your way man. I wouldn't dismiss this dream as irrelevant just because it's a dream.

I'm almost finished it now! Going to publish the review on my blog on Sunday. It's a fantastic book. All about how our life is decided by our choices. Topics include the power of positive thought, detachment and pendulums (weird energy suckers).

No you do not. There is no reason you need to give up on relationships in order to be happy or achieve whatever you want out of life. However, I will add the cavet that for me, large periods of solitude have been something I've needed at certain points in this journey. That may have been difficult with a romantic partner.

Detachment means you don't rely on it for your happiness. You're acting out of INSPIRATION instead NEEDINESS. Imagine you were going to sing a song you love with someone you know. And then as you started singing, this person looks at you and says "wait a minute! Don't you realize we could be singing FASTER? After all, we're singing with the intention of reaching the end of the song. Therefore, I conclude that the best way to sing must be to go as fast as possible. And I will NOT BE SATISFIED in till we reach the end of the song." You would think this person insane. After all, the purpose of singing a song is not to get to the end of the song. You sing because in each moment, you just enjoy it. When it's over, maybe you'd do it again. That's how I think of life. People act as if the goal of life is to "get somewhere" or to reach the end. But here's a new flash: the end result of life is death. If you're just running through life as if it's a mission to get from one goal to the next, you're missing the point. Of course this doesn't mean don't do ANYTHING. Notice even in the above song, you're still singing. But you're acting now because you're INSPIRED to do so, not out of fear and misery.

It all depends on your goals. Are you trying to transition into being a financially independent entrepreneur? You'd better be hustling way more than 6-8 hours a day. Why worry about productivity when you're throwing huge chucks of your day away? But if you're not looking to do something that extreme, then I'd say just work smarter. I've never worried about productivity, only how can I play a better chess game.

I know meditation helps me when I do public speaking. I'm sure it would help you with your audition as well, although just meditating one hour before probably won't do much. You need a habit going.

Quick heads up, you may be heading in the near future for a spiritual experience. No guarantees though. Anyway, let me crack this question of "being cool". "Cool" does not exist. I can remember being so frustrated growing up because I couldn't figure out what was cool. Was it cool to be musician? Was it cool to be a jock? What about money or looks? Loud and outgoing? Quiet and competent? What the hell WAS it? Eventually though, I started to realize it was ALL a sham. Nothing these people had or did made them cool. What was cool was that THEY thought it was cool. And they were so sure of it that it sucked you in. This is a total paradox and mindfuck when you really start to see this. Cool isn't bestowed upon you. You bestow it upon yourself. Paradoxically, not needing people to think you were cool was what MAKES you cool. I've never had so many people like me and respect me in till I smashed the mold and decided to set the standard. But that takes balls, and if you really do it you'll be scared as hell. But that's why people will respect you. They understand on some level that you're not held down by FEAR like them. Of course, some people will not at all think you're cool. In fact, you'll also never have so many people dislike you as before. But so what? This unnecessary "giving a fuck" is what turns you into some bland, carbon copy like everyone else. And it's no way to live your life. In fact, I'd argue this is maybe one of the most important problems someone needs to tackle in personal development.

She is very much like other women. And much like a girl "knows" when she is head over heels for a guy, as a guy you'll know when she really wants you because it's usually very obvious.

And who told you that is "wrong"? I understand what you're saying, and you're on point about a lot of things. But realize the game is played in the field AND out. If you want to get good with girls, like really good, you're going to have to handle these inner issues. Do it in congruence with your spiritual practice.

@Emerald Wilkins gave you some good advice. As a man, your job is to own whatever you are, even if it's some nerd who likes to play World of Warcraft. I'm telling you right now, that guy could be amazing with women. The problem is 1) doesn't think he can and 2) that guy probably never leaves the house to ever meet anybody. Don't look at trying to get good with women as being "anti-spiritual". I honestly believe anything can be used for spiritual work, even picking up girls. Sure, maybe you'll eventually realize it was all a bunch of bullshit and not worth your time. But that's the point. You have to get to that place where you can let it go, and you usually only will let it go once you have it. Look at how your beliefs are influencing your future RIGHT NOW. You say that "it's not for you" and that action has gotten you no results. Do you think with those beliefs that you're going to get anywhere? No, you're going to exactly where you are, which is exactly what your ego wants. Stay the same. Don't change. I call bullshit on guys who want to shit talk pickup because they're "more spiritually evolved". I predict that if we take that same guy, throw him in a nightclub and tell him to approach some girls sober he will either shit his pants or just make excuses about how its "stupid". Because it's scary. It can feel like suicide sometimes because it's such a threat to your ego. At the end of the day, authenticity will make you attractive to women. But this is like a deep authenticity that should scare the shit out of you because you don't want to reveal those parts of yourself to other people. That's why no one wants to do it and so few guys are actually good with women. In fact, you may noy even know what it means to be authentic because most people are so covered in layers of ego delusion that they need a cleanse before they can even get close.

What sort of insights are you sharing with them?

It does...and it doesn't. Here's a fact for you: if you're having sex with a girl, she probably has talked about your dick with her friends. I know girls who claimed to have cheated because she didn't like something about the size of her man's dick. So let's not ignore this reality. But here's the otherside of the argument: women have much deeper needs than simply "penis size". And if you can meet those needs, you can make your size largely irrelevant. As a man, your job is just to own whatever you got. It's way more important to her that she sees that you're comfortable. You got a small dick? Small dicks are awesome, dicks that are too big hurt. You got a big dick? Big dicks are awesome, girls can't even feel that small shit.

I don't at all see more men than women seeking enlightenment. Strip away the layers of delusion and everyone is seeking the same thing. We may just go about it in very different ways.

What affirmations / visualizations are you using? What were you working that you were putting in these kinds of hours? What's the difference between then and now?

What "actually" happens? Who knows. Some people say it causes your RAS to zero in on the correct solutions to your problems, thus your inner world comes to reflect your outer. Others would say your a divine being capable of creating any reality you choose. It doesn't really matter how it truly works. These are all just different models for a certain phenomenon. Pick whatever one you resonate with. You basically have two types of motivations: egoic motivations and authentic motivations. You never don't have enough motivation, laziness does not exist. You only can block motivation by being at war with yourself. End the war with conflicting desires and motivation flows freely. And you're not going to find any. What exactly kind of proof would satisfy you that affirmations work?

All good. Let me guess, you were a fan of RSD. That's your choice if you wish to do so. My guess though is that's not going to happen. And did you figure all this out by getting struck by lightening or being psychotic? Or was it a very natural, intelligent process? Do you think you're crazy? You're railing against it because you're not enlightened. You're actually seeing where this could go, and it's scaring you. That's good. But don't think that means you aren't still accepting things on faith. Maybe. So then why are you here? You seem awful emotionally invested in something that's entertainment. If it's all the same, why did McKenna write a book? Why teach at all?

Got it. Everyone seems to agree that's the way to go. Thanks!

This is awesome. Keep up the reports man. I am terrified / so excited to try this stuff. One question I would ask: do you feel it was worth it to start at the lighter dose? Or is it better to just jump in at something higher?

Yup, right on track. Trust me, I'm right here with you. I know exactly the parts you're talking about and have read the Trilogy forwards and backwards several times. He is my favorite teacher on the subject. But why do you think McKenna wrote that from his perspective? Take a breathe and REALLY think about. Could there be some subtle nuance you're not picking up on? Let me throw you another quote from McKenna: "He has traded everything for nothing and made a good deal" - Theory of Everything Could it be that McKenna, seeing how much modern ego has been tied up in the process in enlightenment, set out to write a book destroying all those illusions? Could it be that McKenna didn't want to contribute to that whole egoic rat race? And yet, he doesn't regret his own experience. No one who is Enlightened does. In fact, he also says he would die rather than live the egoic life we are all living. What does that say about our present state? Why does he say in the second book that Ahab, sensing his freedom, would be mad with happiness? Why is Julie happier than shes ever been towards the end? What does she find that McKenna didn't want to mention? You HAVE to look at the subtle nuances of what these people are saying. Why is meaninglessness depressing? Could that just be your own interpretation? Maybe there's ANOTHER perspective. And how do you know that's always true? Do you think there could ever be exceptions? Why or why not? McKenna himself says at the end of Damndest that his only real essential teaching is: think for yourself. Are you doing that right now? Or have you just bought into McKenna much in the same way a religious person buys into a holy book? Keep in mind this is all very good. But don't stop here.

@Elzhi This is a very common response to people who find out about McKenna, including myself. Keep going. Isn't it rather convenient that you've suddenly concluded that you should "just enjoy your life" after finding out about the costs of Enlightenment? Could that be a ego-defense mechanism in disguise? It's true that enlightenment from an egoic standpoint can be a living hell, but ironically maybe satisfying ego desires isn't what is going to make you live a high quality life.

You're welcome. Good luck!

Dude you're not like some robot just because you have a dick. You have emotions, and you definitely can get attached. If you don't have emotions, I'm actually kind of afraid.

Love is a deceptive word. Let's just say "emotional attachment".