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@lmfao It really depends. Many people's life purpose will involve helping other people in some sort of fashion, so I don't imagine self-actualization means living in a cave for them.

If you really just want to say fuck it and go celibate, that's up to you. But if you really want a girlfriend, why quit? You already don't have a girlfriend. So the worse that can happen is you just end up back at square one. You have nothing to lose. And yes, most girls you meet will not be girls you want to make your girlfriend. So what? Enjoy being single. Another thing I would suggest you do is get crystal clear on what kind of girl you want to date long term. What ethnicity is she? What hair color? What values? What does she do for fun? What are her goals? Etc Once you have that crystal clear idea, reverse engineer it. Where does she hang out? How could you meet her? Then start putting the pieces in place to make that happen. For example, let's say you wanted to date a girl who is a fashion model. I would start making friends with photographers, attending fashion shows, making sure my wardrobe is up to par, etc. Just swiping Tinder is probably not going to be enough if you really want a high quality dating life.

I set people free from themselves.

@RendHeaven He's actually very spot on. Many people refuse to seek the right help and so they never grow.

It's 0% true. That being said, it's a very small percentage of men out there who would actually be willing to commit to that level of improvement. Improvement is fucking hard and getting to a high level in anything requires a ton of dedication.

@IvanV21 You don't deal with her, you make a better decision next time you choose who is going to be your girlfriend. Break it off. That sounds harsh but you can't control her or fix whatever emotional issues she has. That's not your responsibility. And next time you go to commit to a girl, test the waters first. What happens if you suddenly don't text back for a couple days? What happens if you bring a female friend around? If she freaks out at those kind of things, you can expect it will only get way worse once you're actually together.

I actually plan on making a whole video on my channel about this topic. It's really in depth. Here's a couple options: 1) Work 40 hours a week and hustle on your life purpose in any free time you have. 2) Work 40 hours a week but save money and plot your escape to open some sort of business. I might be wrong but I'm pretty sure this is what Leo did. 3) Get a part time job (20~ hrs a week) and drastically cut your expenses. Hustle on your life purpose in your free time. 4) Leverage social connections you might have. I was able to get free rent for half a year at a beautiful apartment simply because of someone I knew. I've used all these options at different points. At the end of the day, you just have to find a way to make it work. Do whatever it takes.

@BestSelf Very normal, expect that your progress is going to always fluctuate. Keep up the good work.

@SirImprovement I've moved on, but I actually was pretty involved in that community for awhile. So I know all about it. Basically it's the place to go if you're angry and hurt about your past experiences with women. Maybe you got divorced, maybe you got cheated on or maybe girls just never wanted to have sex with you. And you're starting to see that the beliefs you were fed about women by society are just not true. So there's a lot of accurate ideas that get thrown around TheRedPill. At the same time, the whole community is so based on pain that there's a lot of victim mentality / misogyny that comes up as well. But you know what? I'm okay with all of it. It's easy for us to judge guys who are going through that. But the truth is none of us are born with the perfect paradigm and perfectly enlightened. You have to go through the process. And sometimes that process is messy. Sometimes the process looks like you being pissed the fuck off. Sometimes it looks like you lashing out at others. Sometimes it looks like plain delusion. So I see TheRedPill as healing disguised as anger. Healing for guys who truthfully don't have many other options. Where else can you learn this and find people with similar experiences who will understand you?

Life purpose. Much easier said than done, but that is the answer.

There is some fundamental problems with this line of thinking. First is that you believe that her emotions are your responsibility. That's another socially conditioned belief. In reality, every person has the choice to feel however they want about a situation. I'm not suggesting using that as an excuse to run around hurting people. But notice that this belief is actually keeping you from being free and fully authentic. Whose life are you living if you're afraid of how she will feel if you break up with her? The reason seeing her feel "bad" makes you feel bad is because it triggers your own feelings of shame. Unfortunately she doesn't understand any of this and so she will likely externalize the cause of her negative emotions onto you. You can't control that, that's her own issues she will have to work through when the time comes. Again, the consequences of you not doing this are far greater than doing it. This relationship is likely just going to get more and more toxic as long as these feelings go unexpressed.

Sounds to me that maybe you want this because you're lost, at least somewhat scared, and don't know what to do.

That's true, but I also believe that's a limiting belief at the same time. Yes, it would turn a lot of people off. Most won't even be able to comprehend it or want to. But consider a guy like Eckhart Tolle, who was essentially unknown to the wider public before The Power of Now. Suddenly he's on Oprah. There's more to drawing a crowd than good traditional marketing. There's an energetic component that often goes underlooked. And when you consider the rate at which the collective consciousness seems to be evolving, who knows. Maybe not so crazy after all. Still, I always try to make sure I show how people will benefit from these teachings and deliver the material in the best manner. That's just social intelligence.

@littleBIG I'm definitely not here to tell you "no". Do what you want. But I'd consider if you're deceiving yourself here. Do you really want to live in a car? Or are you looking for an escape to your problems? Would you be doing this if someone magically dropped a million dollars in your bank account? If so, what beliefs might you have that make you think you can't do that? I'm asking because I don't want you to go live in a car as a reaction to the fact that you lost your job and money is tight right now. I get the whole "don't want to slave 40 hours a week" thing, but that isn't the only way to make some money. Again, it's totally up to you. Maybe try asking these questions in meditation and see what happens.

Understand that your views towards relationships have largely been conditioned by your upbringing and society. We are told things like monogamy = love, fidelity = love and that there's ONE SOULMATE (scarcity) out there for everyone. In reality, these beliefs or agreements were simply created to serve the agenda of the people who were in the relationship and society at large. So I don't think you're on some ego rampage, desperately trying to find the next girl to fill that void in your soul. I think what's happening in this situation is your innate desire for sexual freedom is clashing against your conditioning. Notice that you said the emotion you're experiencing is guilt. That's almost a sure sign that you're suppressing something, which leads to problems. That suppression will turn into resentment for your girlfriend very fast because on some level you'll feel it's her fault. Also, you said that your girlfriend isn't as attractive you'd like her to be. Doesn't make her a bad person, but you don't have to just sit back and let that happen either. You can draw a boundary and date a more attractive girl if you want to. People will try to shame you for that, but the truth is that they're just afraid that they're not attractive enough and won't make the cut. If you're not up to an hour a day, keep upping the time until you get there. Consider yoga too.

I'd question this belief. If you were feeling your emotions fully, they'd pass right through you. You wouldn't be walking around depressed. Technically true, but not in the way you're using it. Your emotions are absolutely under your control, that's just a belief to keep you stuck in your patterns. That's not what letting go is about. Trying to make it go away is likely bringing up resistance, which is the exact opposite of what you want. I'd try focusing more on fully feeling whatever you're feeling. Don't intellectualize, just becoming present to it.

@Emne It's not, but just saying that doesn't help. You need to become conscious of that on your own.

@hinawashi They're incredibly helpful. One good book can change the entire trajectory of your life. Try stacking many of those books and watch what happens.

@vanish No more Fight Club for you.

@7thLetter No one needs a relationship or anything to be happy. However, I've found there's very good potential reasons to want a relationship, some of which you've pointed out. If you're going to do it, I would keep in mind that most relationships are not good ones. A good relationship that's actually worth investing in is a rare thing and can be very difficult to manage.

@How to be wise This is partially why people say life is a dream. Sure, you remember bits and pieces of a dream. But the next morning when you wake up, where did it go? Where is it? Did it even happen? Everyday life works the same way. Only we are very convinced that the events of the past and the projections of the future are real outside the life we’re living.

@egoless It is. The idea that you can’t be charismatic even if you’re an “introvert” is an excuse. Read The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane. A lot of charisma is actually energetically based, which is why there are so many different types of people who are all charismatic.

@NoSelfSelf Leo has a great list of qualities that define self-actualization. But I consider it a life's work.

@Angelo John Gage That's the fractal nature of reality. As above, so below.

@moon777light I love this show. He's sort of right. He pointed out that evidence for scientific truths require more evidence, which means that eventually you get to a point where you have no evidence for your belief. You must take it on faith. But he did "prove" the existence of god either. That would be to make the same mistake as the scientist.