aurum

Of course, everything is neutral at the absolute level. When I said "fucked", that's not a judgemental at all. It's just an observation that if you want to be at peace and not in fear that your relationship is going to crumble any moment, you don't want to tie your self-worth to someone else's validation.

No, RSD is legit. There's valid criticisms you can make about the company if you really wanted to, but there's no doubt they know pickup inside and out.

I think we think the same thing but with different words.

@The White Belt You're in classic codependency. Her validation = your self-worth, so if she leaves you your self-worth will be crushed. That's why you're afraid. The ironic part is that the fear you're experiencing is going to drive you to do things that actually will want to make her leave. You think you're hiding it, but trust me you're not. One solution is continuing to do self-actualization and working on your insecurities. Another solution is her leaving you, breaking your heart, and then you realizing that attaching your self-worth to a person's validation is totally fucked. Your choice.

@Freakrik I'm actually friends with Jmulv. We used to go out together when he was living here in Miami, haven't seen him since he moved away though. He game is undoubtedly legit. I wouldn't hesitate to go to him for advice on pickup. But he would also admit that he definitely has some unresolved inner game issues. So if you're going to learn from him, that's fine. But I would also balance his advice with self-actualization work. It's not worth banging 500 girls if you're just going to be miserable all the time.

@Staples I'd try thinking about the problem differently. Instead of just saying "how can I willpower my way into not being addicted", take a more holistic approach. Do you have an idea of your life purpose? What does your diet look like? Do you have productive habits like meditation or going to the gym? Part of the reason people can't beat their addictions is because they're trying to resist the urge when it comes up via willpower. They treat it like an isolated incident. But that's a bit like trying to win a game you've never trained for. You beat your addictions through everything you do outside your addictions. Spend more time looking at what your whole life looks like.

And don't let people make you feel bad about that, especially in the spiritual community. Everyone evolves in stages in accordance to their own journey. It's actually better for your growth if you just own where you're at than do spiritual bypassing and pretend like you're too evolved to get involved with something like pickup. Pickup can be amazing self-actualization tool. And it's tons of fun because you get to socialize and have sex. Personally, unless I transform into some angelic lightbeing in meditation one day, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a dick for the rest of my life. And when I'm not getting laid I basically can't think about anything else. So might as well get that area handled properly.

@F A B Don't be nervous

@Scarecrow You have trauma energy that hasn't been released yet. All the techniques Leo talks about will help you here, especially Shamanic Breathing.

@-Rowan The only teachers I tend to still learn from at this point are the RSD crew and Jason Capital. They’re the best I’ve seen, especially since they place a heavy emphesis on the self-actualization aspect. So much more than just getting girls.

Because it’s all serving you or at least served you in the past. It might be difficult to see how, but it always is. I’m not saying it’s easy to get to that point. I’m definitely not there myself with some of my own issues. And it’s easy to turn what I’m saying into spiritual bypassing and pretend like everything is fine when it’s not. But ultimately I’ve found this is where you want to get to. Gratitude for everything because it was all part of your journey.

Yeah great points. We’re all into self-actualization so we tend to view homeostasis as “bad”. But that’s just not true. If you took a person being run by low consciousnesses and had them experience all their trauma energy at once so they could release it, it would probably either kill them or give them a mental breakdown. On a physical level, your body would die everytime it got slightly too hot or too cold. So the only thing that makes sense is actually to be grateful for homeostatsis. Be grateful for your addictions, coping strategies, negative thought patterns and everything else that you can’t seem to get rid of because they’re probably saving your life.

@Raphael Yeah people massively underestimate the desire for homeostasis. It's incredibly powerful. Building momentum slowly is one way to overcome it. E.g, instead of trying to meditate for an hour right away, start at five minutes and add 30 seconds everyday. The only other thing that I've seen work besides that is emotional leverage. People can make a massive shift all at once if the emotional punch is strong enough, e.g they just lost a love one or something. Strong emotions = change. That's why rock bottom moments usually are so transformative. The pain of staying the same finally outweighs the pain of change and the person feels like they no longer have anything to lose.

Are you justifying that people should shame you?

It's not about the homeless man.

Yeah he shamed you. It was subtle but usually that's how shame operates. Sounds like it was his own inner issues projecting onto you. You shrunk back and didn't respond because of the shame. How do you think he would have responded if you expressed yourself honestly?

@F A B He shamed you for having money. Do you get the impression he resents rich people?

@iyfe Examples? They're obviously not perfect but the RSD crew in general are great teachers.

@Slade There's tons of examples. Easier would be if you explain your relationship and any red flags you see. Then we can give our perspective whether we think it's toxic or not.

@egoless You're talking about liberation. It's essentially everything Leo teaches. Meditation, yoga, shamanic breathing, psychedelics and any other healing tool will help here.

You have a good point. Enlightenment needs a better marketing team. Here's been my experience so far. No, enlightenment does not mean the end of everything human. Sorry Jed McKenna fans. To me, enlightenment is what it actually means to be alive. That shit you think is life is not life. People are in a trance of social conditioning and past traumas, and they have no idea who they are or what is true about reality. The more I go through this process, the more things just seem to get better and better. I'm able to communicate in a more effective way. I'm able to accomplish my goals easier. I'm able to effect more people in a positive way. And maybe most important, you really start to feel like you've found true peace, authenticity and a love for all of life. I don't even really like the word "enlightenment". I almost think a better phrase would be "becoming normal". That's because to people who are more awake, people who are asleep basically just seem crazy. But not even in a judgmental way, more like a "why are you doing this to yourself" kind of way. Does that mean this process is easy and not emotionally challenging? NO. This work is some of the hardest you will ever do in your life. Your old beliefs, negative thought patterns and emotional wounds aren't going down without a fight. But I also haven't found anything that is nearly rewarding. That's why I keep at it everyday. I don't even care if I hit some mythical point where I'm fully enlightened or if that's even possible. I just know there's no arguing with the results of putting in the work. At the end of the day, you don't have to believe me. You're either ready to wake up or not. But considering you're on this forum and drawing out this kind of response from me, I'd say you're already there.

@Jed Vassallo You're confused because you don't yet have the relevant experiences to make sense of the theory. Studying the theory is important. Keep doing it. But more important is that you actually do the spiritual work, e.g mediation, yoga etc. Things will be much more clear then.

@egoless They're not mutually exclusive. Helping people could involve creating and developing something. Maybe you create a business that solves some societal problem. The reason I say helping is important is because helping implies that you give a shit about someone besides yourself. It's a sign you've shifted from "Me" centered thinking to "We" centered thinking. You're not going to look at someone else's suffering and think that it has nothing to do with you.

@Empty Losing friends can happen as you progress in this work because you will no longer resonate with each other. But the whole idea that spiritual work means you have be like this "lone ranger" is just not true at all. And I've found that the people who resonate with this concept are usually the people who had a lot of negative social experiences growing up. If anything, spiritual growth should mean that you're projecting a better energy out into the world that makes other people want to be around you. But that's harder than it sounds and many people never get to that point.

@electroBeam Is it difficult for you to make friends?