DoTheWork

Is pretty much the same or I would even say worse. Up to this day I tried about 20 psychedelic substances. 200 trips total 150 of them were 5-MeO-DMT. (120x vaped Freebase, 30x Nasal/Rectal HCL). Out of 150 5-MeO-DMT trips, about 100 of them were I AM GOD experiences. Recently I tried 5-MeO-MALT and it seemed to last a lot longer than 5-MeO-DMT. Vaped 5-MeO-DMT lasts 45 min, and 5-MeO-MALT lasts about 8 hours. I have a different brain chemistry than other people, because average 1P-LSD trip lasts at least 36 hours for me (7 hours for others) The strongest psychedelic I tried was 5-MeO-MIPT. After 100+ 5-MeO-DMT experiences, all other 5-MeO substances felt like 5-MeO-DMT. When it comes to 5-MeO-MIPT, it lasted for me 16 hours with rectal administration, and trip was TOTALLY 5-MeO-DMT like. So imagine having a 16 hours long 5-MeO-DMT experience "I AM GOD"... I am into spirituality/self inquiry/meditation/psychedelics/contemplation for at least 8 years. Basically full time, all day, every day. All of my trips and spiritual practice has been properly integrated every day. So how my life has changed? - identification with thoughts is stronger - my thought loops are stronger - my depression is stronger - my anxiety/social anxiety is stronger - insomnia is stronger - my dissociation is stronger - my noise sensitivity is stronger - my OCD is stronger - my food allergies are the same - my motivation is weaker - problem with my speech is the same - orgasm feels very weak when compared to 8 years ago - my traumas has not been revealed/healed - I still see others as others - Ordinary life now feels dull compared to 5-MeO experiences. Of course "Ordinary Life" is GOD / LOVE as well. But that is just an intellectual claim/belief when being sober... - And next problem - GOD / LOVE is addicting. And you cannot trip 24 hours a day all year. All that leaves you disappointed. So which from above written is the most disappointing? Identification. The problem with psychedelics is that they do not help with identification problem. They actually worsen it. All the trips are now a part of story of ME. Making spiritual ego stronger. Thoughts are still mesmerizing - totally steal my full attention. I still believe they are MY thoughts. I still feel like a thinker. I still get entangled into the mind stories. I AM STILL IDENTIFIED WITH THE VOICE IN THE HEAD After 8+ years of spirituality, the mind is stronger than in the beginning. Tried just about hundred of techniques to disidentify/observe thoughts. No success. Tried doing, not doing, observing, being aware, resting as awareness, being the observer, surrender, surrendering the surrender, not doing anything, doing anything, doing nothing, strong determination sitting, observing the doing of not doing without trying, being, trying, not trying, focused techniques, unfocused techniques, energy work, contemplation, breathing techniques, tapping techniques, self inquiry, mindfulness, still and dynamic meditations, 100+ of books... And all of that, after 8 years, feels like a waste of time. So how are you after many trips? Are you still identified with the voice in the head?

In my case YES. After more than 8 years of hardcore spiritual work, I still feel like I am writing this post. I still feel I control The Voice, I still feel like I am thinker/doer. What about you?

I consider myself being twin of Leo... I have experienced all of the stuff he talks in his videos + have very similar personality. My background: 30 y/old male, Europe Many years of HARDCORE spiritual path. - Clean eating, mostly RAW (no wheat, no dairy, a little meat) - Being aware ALL DAY LONG - 16 hours a day - Contemplation and Self Inquiry 3 hours a day - Meditating in PITCH BLACK room 3 hours a day before midnight (strong determination sitting) - Concentration exercises - ejaculating max once per 2 weeks - Psychedelics (often): 15x 5-MeO-DMT HCL trips 30x 5-Meo-DMT Freebase trips 20x 4-Aco-DMT Fumarate trips 35x DMT Freebase trips 8x DPT trips 60x Weed trips 5x LSD trips 10x 2c-b trips + some near death experiences And some others. Many of my trips happened in pitch black darkness. Always WITHOUT trip sitter. I have had many "TOTAL" awakenings + experienced many paranormal, mystical phenomena and Kundalini awakening. Third eye opening etc... I have experienced many logically impossible experiences. Sober or under psychedelics. I consider myself Awakened consciousness, yet there are infinite degrees of awakening more left. DO YOU GET IT? After MANY infinite trips you will get it. YES, there are degrees to awakening. I have experienced MANY lifetimes. In fact, I have experienced ALL possible lifetimes that have existed, exist now or will exist when having many of my mystical experiences. I have had trips, where I experienced ALL POSSIBLE LIFETIMES OF ALL POSSIBLE CREATURES in 6 hours. Entire lifetimes... YES! All possible creatures. 5-legged ones, or just beings made of energy only, or creature with not 5 or 6 senses but 300 senses etc... Sounds impossible? Well... If you do HARDCORE practices, you can experience many hardcore stuff. This story about Big Bang and Planet Earth IS JUST ONE OF INFINITE MORE STORIES in infinite more dimensions. I attained THOUSANDS of "spiritual" insights. Most of them are impossible to put into words and sentences. "You are God" is just one of INFINITE MORE SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS. I can't describe this statement more, because of the limit of language. There is INFINITE deepness. In other dimensions I took psychedelics 10000s times potent than DPT. There are infinite more colors than you can see now in this current dimension. Be very open-minded reading next lines please. After many years of being "spiritual"... After my last awakening, I realised that this whole spiritual path is just ONE story of infinite other meaningless stories. Chasing this whole "who am I?" thing is just of many possible stories and is AS MEANINGLESS AS ANY OTHER STORY. I awakened to total meaninglessness. TOTAL. THERE IS NO OTHER PLACE TO BE. I can't escape THIS being. There is only being. I experienced that no matter what I do, even if I kill myself, I will be reborn infinite times more. In fact I have literally physically experienced dying and killing myself in other dimensions just to realise that I can't escape this BEING thing. After you die, you can choose to "enjoy" formlessness for infinity. BUT that infinity is so infinite, that is finite. Basically, that INFINITY will feel like blink of the eye, and you will get "bored" and will reborn "instantly", after you get bored being formless. READ THAT AGAIN. In other words: HUMAN DIES, BABY IS BORN. INSTANTLY. You can't escape... There is only Existence. No form of suicide is enough. Thanks to this insight, this exact life that I live now, is exactly good as any other life. No life is better than other life. Thanks to many mystical experiences I realised that businessman has his sufferings and joys, is the same as homeless man has his pains and joys. No difference. And here comes my question.... Question that no one of you can answer... Because I have used infinite times more potent stuff than your tiny limited human mind, YET I am still searching for answer. WHAT TO DO NOW? The thing is, I feel like there is no higher "level" to reach. I have experienced mahasamadhi in other lifetimes, I have reached TOP OF THE TOP levels of Existence... I have experienced toppest of the tops, I always ended up in some limited dimension. And Now I want to suffer again. That is the reason I have chosen not to have mahasamadhi in this life (I had many opportunities to have mahasamadhi in this life) You were God infinite lifetimes before, and now you forgot you wanted to experience being limited again. You forgot you have put yourself here just to limit yourself again. JUST CAUSE. Because you can. I WANT TO BE HUMAN AGAIN AND TO HAVE ROLLERCOASTER LIFE OF EMOTIONS AND ILLUSIONS. I want to forget I am God... But I know too much. Too much.... I am serious. After TOTAL ENLIGHTENMENT, after THE HIGHEST HIGH, there is only a way down. I just want to warn EVERYBODY: THERE ARE INSIGHTS that will destroy your life, your motivations, your everything. There are insights so shocking that will paralyze you. You will lose interest for friends, movies, music, just about everything. It feels like know everything, have been everything, been everywhere, have done everything... In every dimension I have lived, there is always this "OMG now I know too much, and there's no way back" level. After that insight, life in that dimension becomes very "meaningless"... In every dimension there are illusions similar to "Maya", just to protect you. To protect you from "knowing too much" so you can continue enjoying the show. It feels like the "secret" of Maya have its purpose here in this dimension. Knowing too much (being awakened) in whatever dimension leads to being unfulfilled. It's like cheating... Do you enjoy playing a game with "GODMODE: ON" cheat? If I could choose again, I would not choose to awaken. This world is made to be for unconscious beings. Now I have a 2 choices. Just watching everything, just observing this miraculous colorful explosion. or Put myself again into Matrix and forget who am I. And I think I want to forget. But how? How could I? How could I deceive myself again? Basically, I want to warn you... KNOWING "TOO MUCH" and being robbed of "mandatory" illusions will leave you unsatisfied... TOTAL ENLIGHTENMENT leads later to total unconsciousness. It's a strange loop. Even being infinite love will soon or later lead to infinite suffering. You are THE CHANGE. You want CHANGE. Don't ask me why... YES, I am saying very radical stuff. I have experienced many lives in other dimensions being only "LOVE". But after some time, even LOVE will seem boring. You will not enjoy your "total awakening" to the infinity... At one point, you basically get bored and want to enjoy being unconscious jerk again... Soon or later, you may be interested in being Zen Devil just for the sake of doing it. That's why you see many spiritual gurus having affairs and being zen devils. There is something deep you can get from this post, but I don't know how to communicate it better, because I am not native english speaker. Have a nice day.

I need to delete this thread. Mods please help me. Seriously.

What is the "FINAL" step of Love? Imagine that EVERYBODY is awakened. Imagine EVERYBODY lives in Love in this planet. Imagine that all people have REACHED MAXIMUM Love embodiment capacity. Where do we go from here? Where??? WHERE? Only down.... down to suffering again... At one point, love would want to become pain again. Because it MUST. Change is inevitable.

Guys be careful with this LOVE stuff. Truth have NO obligations and no attributes. YES, Truth is Love, But Love is Suffering as well. Truth is Loving Itself even through Suffering and making no distinctions. Suffering is made of LOVE "material". Murder is Love, his Victim is Love. In the ultimate level, Truth, Love, Suffering, Ego, are the same thing. But I agree with you - YES, there are SUBJECTIVE preferences and expectations YOU project to Truth and many of them are helpful to humanity! I am with you! ... But still... There are SOME people who actually enjoy suffering and enjoy pain. You want to teach them LOVE. They want to teach you HATE. Who is right? BOTH of you. BOTH OF YOU ARE MADE OF THIS "TRUTH-LOVE" substance

You DON'T want to know my 237th insight .

EXACTLY. I can't live life by living, and I can't live life by not living. What does that mean? It means, that "I", that is said to do that, is an illusion

Yes I am fucked No way back... And yes, I have NO morality. But I know that nobody on Earth wants to suffer. That puts us on the same boat.

man... total meaninglessness means TOTAL meaninglessness ... That means that: - Its meaningless to use muscles and leave your bed in the morning - Its meaningless to open eyes in the morning - Its meaningless to breathe

Yes, because there is no better place to be. Every life has some pros and cons. But ultimately everything is equal, because everything is One. Being limited human is not worse than being limited alien with 10 dicks and 30 hands . Or being Angel is not better than being Human.

guys .... Life is inherently meaningless. And that is TOTAL. Are you really sure what life after total meaninglessness realization means? After that, you basically have to DECEIVE yourself again to be able to slap NEW meanings to meaningless colorful shapes and to motivate yourself to get out of your bed again. But in practice it's a lot harder than it sounds because now you have seen too much. For example: It's like you are a gynecologist who have seen so many pussies that he is no longer aroused by them.

Of course. I wrote earlier that I want to forget meaninglessness of enlightenment and create some meaningful life consciously.

@noselfnofun Life on this planet Earth is made for unconscious people who live in their conceptual world full of meanings, values, hierarchies, opinions. But that is just my opinion.

@zeroISinfinity Man, I don't know anything now... I feel more lost than ever... @Consilience I have experienced being Love many times, yet it's not part of my day-to-day life. Yes it's next step maybe

Saving other people from sweetness of delusion may get counter-productive in the end. Many of them live pretty normal ordinary life at the moment. Do you really want to wake them up?? Are you really sure? Are you really REALLY sure it is the right thing for them to wake up from their sweet dream to meaninglessness?

@MuddyBoots And that's the problem. Being "enlightened" is actually being more lost than being unconscious. You'll comprehend that sentence AFTER your 387th insight . The world around you, society, money system, jobs etc are not made for awakened people... I have been searching for happiness, but found Truth instead ...Truth does not mean happiness. Many teachers said Don't confuse Truth for happiness. And I did that very thing and than I was disappointed after. Awakened, but still in limited human form, feels like being an alien in today's world, where 99,999 people around you are unconscious. Helping others may be a Trap. It's a paradox. many times by helping others you are preventing them to learn their lesson from their suffering. Being "healer" is in many cases a trap in my opinion. I need ordinary people to put me back on track being normal human again.

@TrynaBeTurquoise After many 5-MeO-DMT and DPT trips, any other psychedelic will bring you to whatever dimensions you want. There are dimensions that are so different that words are incapable of describing them. There are many forms of "psychedelics" or practices for raising consciousness in every specific dimension. JUST BE CAREFUL. There is "limit" of "raising your consciousness" in every dimension. The more insights or "secrets" you uncover, the more meaningless the rest of your life becomes. "Insight hunting" is fun!... First 386 insights are great! Until you uncover your 387th insight. After that, you're fucked and stuck in meaninglessness for rest of that life.

@Aakash I realised I know nothing. How do I know that I AM? It's simple now: I am a "Thingless thing" which is aware of itself simply thanks to being aware of other "things" (colors, sounds...) I know myself only because there is my "colourful-soundful" reflection. HERE. NOW. HERE-NOW. HERENOW! This "colorful soundful feelingful scene" reflects my existence back to me. I would not know myself if there were no things in "the scene" (in experience), yet I will still be Truth.

I did not know the name in that dimension... Names as we know them are only in this dimension, and are feature of our language. But there are "CONSCIOUSNESS raising" substances in many other dimensions.

@Aakash I totally get your posts. It's pure gold. Thank you. Enlightenment is The Cosmic joke, that leaves your CURRENT life meaningless... NOW I HAVE A BIGGER FISH TO FRY!!!! I AM ON THE PATH OF FORGETTING ENLIGHTENMENT!!!! And that is a lot more difficult than awakening... See you in 20 years.... Until my awakening to "NORMAL-ness" happen. @zeroISinfinity Thank you @Mikael89 Thank you!