StarStruck

Beggar: where is the money at? You are asking the wrong questions. Ask yourself "what value can I give?" and they will find you.

Being present (raising consciousness) is the foundation of life and also social skills. All the other things I’ve done was a supplement to my progress. So my answer to your question is yes. The major foundation of self development is raising one’s consciousness (becoming present) and that is done through letting the past go (trauma) and the future go (dysfunctional fear). Thanks to my trauma’s I developed a lot of coping mechanisms which caused me to be stuck in my head, not be present, and have a closed off vibe. Mind you that most people don’t do pickup or learn social skills and they do alright. That was not the case for me. Some people might lack some social skill and do a RSD social skill program and gain results but for me my problem was deeper. RSD has a program to fix this called RSD transformations. Other sources I would recommend people with issues similar to mine are these Becoming Super natural by Joe Dispenza to program the subconscious the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle to become present Tao the Ching to find rhythm of life, law of less effort Bhagavad Gita to learn that the process is the beauty of life What helped me with motivation: spiritual transmutation. It helped me to turn negative energy into positive energy Most people don’t need to dig this deep to be good with women. I did because I was so traumatized. And I’m still working on this shit because there is still work to do. Some people just have to work harder; might be caused by trauma but it could also be that they have light variation of autism or some other problem they might have. Everybody’s journey is a little bit different.

Your welcome ?

Shyness is linked to the emotion of shame. It is NOT being able to express oneself because of (perceived) fear or guilt of something or somebody. If you want to eliminate shyness eliminate the underlying fear or guilt.

I've made some major developments with my professional help and trauma healing. Changing my level of consciousness was key in this transformation. Making changes on the level of being, not doing or having was key for me. Changing yourself on the level of being is ineffable and hard to explain; you either get it or you don't; and if you do you don't need an explanation and if you don't you need an explanation and the only way you will get is when you are there. It can only be explained in metaphors, which I will try below. Eventually you want to get from low level of consciousness (LOC) to high level of consciousness. Summary of the two states: High LOC versus low LOC Positive attitude < negative attitude Love < fear Proactive < reactive Giving to others < taking from others Upward spiral < downward spiral Winner effect < loser effect Being a full person < being a broken person Selfless < selfishness Thriving < coping If you are a high LOC person people will perceive you as the sun. You don't have to do anything (like being a nice or interesting person), or have anything (like fancy clothes, better looks, whatever), just your being (LOC) will effect reality. I was really starstruck by this last week; my being (LOC) was changed thanks to something and my reality changed with me. It was really a mysterious moment. People started reacting very different to me, people stopping me on the street to talk to me, people just telling me they like me while I did nothing, I was like "wtf" is happening; I'm not doing anything different. That is what the sun is; it is just being the sun. If you are a low LOC person, you will not feel like a sun to others and yourself but you will feel like a black hole. People want to get away from you and from the pull of the black hole, and you will never be happy because of the phenomenon of hedonistic adaption. A black hole is also being but it is a negative being (low LOC) sucking all life force and material, while high LOC (the sun) is giving; giving life to everything in its orbit. I explained it with these two metaphors because LOC is really difficult to explain in plain text.

Do 3 RSD programs. Make notes: read them for 30 days. Make action plans and execute them for 30 days. It doesn't have to take a long time to get good. Consistency over perfection is key. You already know the answers to the questions you are asking but the thing is that the answers will reveal themselves if you are consistent with your effort.

I advice to do the heart sutra while being in a theta state if you want deep level change

You can talk about whatever you like as long as you have fun, and are passionate and carefree. People at parties are there for the vibe though, especially girls: they want to have fun. You can literally talk about shit and if you have fun, passion and are carefree people will have a good time listening to you. If you are uptight though it doesn't matter what you talk about and people won't enjoy your presence.

Demonstrates how being born in a low LOC (loveless) environment can determine your future.

@KH2 In the original post I 'v already told you that it is not the money. I have problems with setting boundaries and I felt like my boundary was crossed and that I was taken advantage of. Looking back at it, it was not the case. On this forum I just wanted to get a heads up how other people deal with such situations. About the girl: I like her but I'm not blown away. @Leo Gura I see your point

@Fleetinglife to me it is not stage orange alone.. to get to stage orange you have to pass through blue (which is love, family, peace, harmony) The Russian soldier is stage red and what he misses is not stage orange but stage blue.

I´m really for the Iranian cause but what I don´t get is Iranians that are naive. If powerful western countries want to help you, they don´t want to help you out of their goodness of their heart. They want to help you like they helped Mullah, Gaddafi, Saddam to power and then turn their respective countries to shit, one by one. Iranians shouldn´t want to get advantage of. Iran might be a hellhole but it can get much worse. Just look at Syria, Iraq, Libya and so on.

Start meditation. Read power of Now to get out of your head. The book flow is also good. Do things from your core essence through flow.

Core identity is made of habits Habits is made of routines Routines is made of day to day actions

Get out of your head! It really boils down to this. If you get out of your head (fantasy land) and into reality, you will go into flow and start to take action.

@universe with business meeting I meant just dinner with her colleagues

That is part of getting old so get use to it. I’m not saying you are old by the way. It is just life. It is really about how you interpret it. Sometimes I also take it personally but then I remind myself I’m doing the same to people: I’m just busy with my own shit and I just don’t feel the vibe.

It discovered it has all to do with self image. In the past, like last year, I would be happy if a girl would go on a date with me. This year it has gotten much more easier to get girls on a date so I'm starting to get more pickier and not accept bullshit. They have to at least respect me. My last date, which was the nicest girl ever, just flat out ignored me after the date, which was a painful lesson. If even the nicest girl treats me as shit that tells me something. My current date doesn't ignore me but I'm also not happy about how assertive she was.

@Federico del pueblo I'm a nice guy and I have to change that. I've been treated like shit by my last date: and she was a nice girl too; she just ignored me after the date while I was super nice, polite, gentlemen and paid for every thing. At least have some decency to answer my text. I'm really fed up with being nice. This date (subject of this post) is with another girl and I'm starting to change. I will have my demands too and if she doesn't meet them we will go Dutch which is 50%/50% of the expenses or I will tell her what you typed here. It is really true: people treat you like you allow them to treat you.

It is the super rich that hurt society. The "relatively rich people" as mentioned in the OP, do good because they offer value to society. You can learn a lot from them. You only condemn them because you are jealous. Integrate your stage orange and level up. People who are succesful have a nonreaching vibe. I love that and I admire that because I want more of that. I have some integrating to do too.

that sounds super effective but I don’t feel comfortable to be that blunt

She says I’m too theoretical and sometimes she can’t follow what I’m saying. I’m with her because of self esteem issues and procrastination. With the topic of social life I’m already taking massive action but with the topic of self esteem it is hard to take action on. She says I should let go of the theory and just have the conversation with her hands-on. Practice instead of theory. I have a hard time doing this. I’m trying to suppress my monkey (thinking) brain to have the conversation with her but I get auto suggestions from my brain all the time about things I read and written down in my common place book. I have a huge resentment against her request to stop reading books. What do you guys think? Should I stop reading books? About the monkey mind: I’ve already picked up meditation. I’m doing it 15-30 minutes per day on a steady basis.

No shit? It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. It is also not good to shame them. I love rich people. I admire their vibe to be honest. You only shame them because you are not one of them and that is why it triggers you.

That is so true.. I'm a stoic and it has its benefits like going with the waves of life but it also has its downsides: non-emotional intellectualising. I had a date today and I tried to totally to just focus on the emotions instead of the thoughts and it worked out great. I want to extrapolate this to my productivity: focusing on the emotions (the flow) instead of the thoughts (conditioning) of my work. Actuality of Being has a great video on it: I have dancing, workout in my mix too. I forgot to mention those. I'v thought about yoga too. It is something I would like to do it is just too much to implement. Recently I read Power of Now after having read it years ago. It is great but I don't remember much of what I read. I remember that the body is the gateway to deeper consciousness. I'm concentrating on my body, bodily sensations and breath during the great and that helped me with staying present. So in a way rereading was great.

@njuufa @ZzzleepingBear thanks for the heads up. I think I'm going stop reading books and just meditate every day for 2 hours. Currently I'm only meditating like 10-15 minutes and that doesn't cut it. @Eph75 My problem is that I'm just too stuck in my head because of my hyper active brain. Sometimes I can't even concentrate on a conversation; my mind just goes apeshit into every direction, recalling knowledge and trying to analyize everything, instead of just being present and letting it in what is being said. I might have ADD. What really helps is concentrating on my breath and concentrating on my body when I'm in a conversation or when I have to pay attention on something. It roots me into being but this is just a temporary fix. This is my plan of action Stop consuming knowledge like books until new year! Meditating everyday for 2 hours Perhaps silent retreats Psychedelic trips every 2 weeks, perhaps more