Inder

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  1. @tlowedajuicemayne I know it must be hard for you, it's an difficult experience to go through, I can only share what I have realized for myself, hope it can help you in some way, for me I was in depression for past 2 years, loss all interest in life, lose interest in career, money, friendship, dating etc all cool human stuff, nothing appeals to me, life became completely meaningless, I felt whats the point of living anymore, but the recent experience that I have had with LSD and GOD realization, it changed me forever, fear of panic attack almost gone, it also feel like depression is also gone, it feels like I'm just be happy with existing itself, existence itself feels beautiful, It feels like I don't need to chase anything to be satisfied, just existing itself is plenty sweet.
  2. Hello everyone, I would like to share my experience of what I have been through on my recent LSD trip a few days ago. I think a lot of people who follow actualized.org, don't really know what they are getting into it, they just like the idea of GOD, enlightenment, and spirituality. I'm not saying anything wrong with it, it can definitely improve people's life. But anyway let's get back to the story, on 2nd September I have had a massive panic attack from vaping weed, this panic attack was horrible beyond anything I have ever experienced, it felt like my heart is going to explode and have a heart attack, and my heart beat was like 1000 miles/per second, but somehow I endure that night, thinking in my mind that it should pass away next day after the effects of weed goes away, but next day I'm having the similar symptoms, I become very afraid from this panic attack, thinking what if it happens again, thinking in my mind I'm going to have a heart attack and will die, I was experiencing the same symptoms for couple of days, on 4th September during the evening, by that point I already stop vaping weed after the panic attack, I was not able to sleep since the panic attack, thinking if I go to bed I will never able to wake up again, every night was a pain, massive fear of death, but on 4th September, in evening I have had a massive panic attack again this time then I called ambulance to check whether I'm having a heart attack, ambulance came in they check my ECG, oxygen level and heart rate, after all the checks, they said everything is fine, you just having a panic attack induce by the weed, after knowing that I felt so much relief that I'm not going to die, on that night I was able to sleep little better, then on 6th of September during evening again I have had a panic attack, it was pretty worse, again I called ambulance, they check everything, everything was fine, so ambulance guy give me some psychological training to decrease my fear, give me assurity that everything is fine, you just having a panic attack, I tell him I take LSD and weed sometimes, he said I have taken both of this, it just fear/anxiety issue, nothing physical issue, that was good to know, but this experience made me fearful of panic attack in future, so next couple of days, I'm afraid of going out, everyday and every moment felt scary, on 15th September during evening I decide to take LSD to heal me from this panic attack and anxiety issues I'm having, as soon as I put LSD tab under my tongue within 20min LSD start to coming on, I intuitively knew that this LSD trip is going to very challenging, and I somewhat willing to face death, and willing to die, so within 30min of LSD, my heart was pumping reallllllllllllllly hard that I'm going to die soon, it’s like panic attack on steroids, extremely painful and life threatening, it was sooooooo harrrrrrd to surrender to this experience, it felt impossible to surrender to death, but slowly slowly I was deepening my surrendering practice, at one point I knew I'm going to die, can't escape it, I was experiencing massive pain in center and right side of chest as the panic attack was getting worse and worse, then there was point when I just have to surrender to death, because I was not able to take pain anymore, that point when I surrender to death, It felt like my entire body was exploded and divided everywhere, after that moment, I sat on bed, as I was sitting on my bed, I just cried so much my jaw dropped on the bed in Namaste or prayer position, and I'm keeping saying oh my GOD, Oh my GOD, Oh my GOD, and my hand were in prayer position like I'm praying to the GOD, and keep saying oh my GOD oh my GOD, that’s when I realized I'm already dead, just didn't knew it before, realized Death is GOD, and realized that I'm hallucinating my bed, my room, my body and everything in the room, that experience was very profound, but after realizing GOD I was experience massive pain in my chest during the entire trip, I though the pain should go away after the trip finish, even after 12 hours of LSD trip pain was still getting worse and worse, I'm continually to surrender to this pain, this pain was absolute torture, I tried to endure this pain for 24 hours(including 12 hours trip time) and keep on surrendering to it, but after 24 hours of massive pain and no sleep, I couldn't handle it anymore so I called my house mate to take me to the emergency room around 8pm, so I went to Emergency room, they did my ECG, blood test, chest X-ray, and give me pain killer and blood thinner medicine, even after laying down on the bed in emergency room, my chest was still hurting really bad, but after few hours they check all my reports, and doctor said me everything is fine, my heart is fine, my lungs are fine, no COVID, no blood clots in my lung, basically everything was fine from medical perspective, so she said now you going to be discharged from hospital, she just prescribed me some pain killer medicine to buy next morning, I was discharged from the hospital within 5 hours, around 1 am midnight, then I call Uber to home, went home and sleep, it was good to know that I wasn't having any physical issue, that was a relief, that was the night I sleep after many days, on next day chest pain was decreased massively, now I’m feeling much better, chest pain has decreased and healed massively, but I'm still on rest, within couple of days I should get back to normal. Lucky I'm alive on a human level, I feel more appreciative of life, now I'm just happy with at least I can breathe, talk, and walk. This is a truly horrific experience of my life and at the same time most profound life-changing experience, I realized Death is God, when you die you don't go anywhere, you will just be here where you are, just identification with your human body dies that's all, and at the same time I fall in love with the reality of human existence, death is also good, human life is also good, but both have their own unique values. I know this is a long post, but these details can't be shorted, in terms of following LEO I have been following LEO on Actualized.org for many years, I wasn't really desperate for Awakening/God-realization, I just enjoy listening to LEO because my intuition was saying to follow him, I didn't choose this path by my own, it just my intuition has lead me to this path, I was just enjoying practicing mindfulness, self-inquiry, meditation, do nothing technique, letting go technique, surrendering technique, and psychedelics. Wasn't really interested in awakening just want to be happy and peaceful by doing this practice, and I have been doing this practice from many years, but I didn't know that this path is leading me to death and ultimately realizing GOD. Leo I would love to hear from you about my experience. @Leo Gura
  3. Just wanna share my realisation that I have in past few years of my journey into personal development and then into spirituality, had many LSD trip, had many realisation, from life is a dream, no free Will= free will, but in the end regardless how many realisation I do have, and I'm not saying that this realisation are just bullshit or created by mind, this realisation have totally changed my life for sure, no some of these realisations are as fuckin real as you see yourself in the mirror, they are legit, all this awakening. But My biggest realization I have recently is life is fuckin Mysterious and unknown, regardless how deep we go into this spiritual awakening, life in the end is a mysterious and unknown beast, if anybody says they figure out whole life, then they need to even look more deeper the mysterious side of the life. These are my thoughts I feel like sharing, Leo, if you reading, happy to hear your thoughts on this.
  4. Hello everyone hope you are doing well. As I'm observing myself and my life from past few years, I realised that we always have some problems to solve, we always have some obstacles in life that never stop, if we solve one, then another come up, it's seems like it never ending cycle. This obstacles are not just about money, or basic human problems, but also spirituality, after one enlightenment, we want another enlightenment, and it goes on and on. So I'm not saying that I don't want obstacles in my life, or I want to get rid of all obstacles. What I'm saying I want to understand, why we have obstacles and challenges in first place, why they exist, is it because its the test of our unconditional love, or spiritual growth or whatever. So what is the absolute perceptive for obstacles and challenges? Love to hear hear your opinion, and my man Leo opinion, you blown me away by your latest video on conspiracy, quite eye opening. Thanks for making that video we really needed it. Thanks
  5. Leo makes lots of videos on consciousness, direct experience, and questioning everything, I think he never address pain and suffering issue deeply. look we all face some sort of pain and suffering either mentally or physically on daily basis, but we never take a time to understand what exactly is this shit, which we always running away from. So that would be good if you can make video on pain and suffering. Thanks for your work so far, its being amazing journey for me, but suffering never seems to leave completely.
  6. @DivineSoda I have done lots of research, watched all 4 parts of David Icke London real worth around 9 hours. I even strongly feel David icke conspiracy have lots of truth to it, i even believe that virus doesn't exist, its a scam. I'm just not following Leo opinion blindly on consipracy theory, I don't give a fuck of Leo's opinions if his opinions doesn't resonates with me, i know Leo try to keep us away from consipracy theories, because he has seen the issues with them. But life isn't about doing things perfectly or follow high wisdom without having lots of past experience. I think making mistakes are very important to understand highest wisdom and see the value in them. So i encourage people to go into consipracy and make some mistakes stuck in toxic rabbit hole thats when you can say enough is enough, thats when you are ready for highest Truths of life. Basically what I'm saying Put most of your focus on highest Truths and embody them on daily basis, then you can decide if you want to involve with relative Truths(consipracy theories) in a balanced way and take any action necessary which makes sense to you to fight the system. End of the day: life is just a fuckin game, play in whatever way you like, we all gonna die in the end.
  7. @Extreme Z7 Thanks man, for this question, I didn't thought about this question before until you mentioned that, your question make me thinking for hours, and I have got some powerful realization that i would like to share, hope lots of people can resonates with this and may be its valuable for many people. And also share your opinions on this. " Whats the point and why do you care, even if david Icke is right or not right, if government trying to control you or not, if 5g is bad or not , if vaccine is good or bad, if virus exist or not?. Because I'm selfish, and i care about my survival. Thats why you wanna know whats really is going on, so you can plan and do things in life accordingly and make your survival Secure. Cost of this mindest: fear and unhappiness. Higher truth or absolute truth. We are infinite consiouness having a temporary human experience, we all are one, government, reptallians, animal, all human's etc. Nothing in this world is good or bad, something is bad for you when it is threating your survival and vice versa. Everything good or bad is created out of love. If government, reptallians, news media, pharmacy, are doing things from their own will, you are making wrong assumption, nature or universe is working through everyone if its reptallians or humans and we all have no control over what we can will and how we can evolve as specices its an Natural process. Death is not bad. So totally surrender your life to absolute Truth regardless what happens good or bad (for your ego). I'm not saying don't care about relative Truth they are important for practical reasons, but put most focus on absolute Truth and work on relative truth in a balanced way. Basically keep a healthy balance of absolute truth and relative truths." @Leo Gura
  8. Hello everyone hope you doing well. So how many of you believe that COVID 19 exist, and all this deaths and cases are happening from COVID 19. Leo whats your take on this?. Any response would be appreciated. Update Before responding. Please read some of my comments mentioned down, so you can get more clear picture, Thanks.
  9. No, my eyes were open looking at the tree and grass at my backyard. Best of luck man.
  10. @OBEler This time I took lsd in mild dose, i have taken lsd many times in the past even very high dose, but i never experienced what i experience this time. Yes mate its an very positive experience even after trips finished. I have learned some much from that trip, now days I'm naturally becomes more compassionate and empathic towards other people because i know those people are me, fear of death is gone a lot, i feel peace with whatever reality shows me. I would never undo this experience it is life changing. My motivation for seeking truth become very important to me now.
  11. Hello everyone, i would like to share something what happen yesterday, I'm not sure if it was Spritual awakening access to absolute nature of reality or not. Here is the story I have being doing meditation and mindfulness from past 3years just for getting real world benefits, but i wasn't really interested in enlightenment, it was just unknown to me what exactly is that. As lots of people are going through suffering and adversity right now, i also was little bit anxious about whats going on, few days ago i checked out Leo's videos benefits of enlightenment, i got me little bit interested in this topic. Fast forward two days later i randomly meet someone who has the LSD, i got one from them, before taking LSD, i watched some more videos on self enquiry, just so i can practice his techniques while I'm tripping. As i took lsd, as lsd start to kick in I couldn't able to focus on mediation or self enquiry for past 4 hours, then i went to my backyard its very green and has lots of trees. I sit there then i started to practice self enquiry trying to find my true nature by ask who am i? And as i try to locate my self inside my head, i started to become aware of that emptiness, the i put my all efforts to become observer of my own consiouness or emptiness inside me, after few minutes something happens which is hard to express in words but I'll do my best. As becoming more and more conscious of my emptiness inside my head, suddenly there is exploding on my consiouness which move out of typical location where it resides near eyebrow, my consiouness has move way from that direction came near the neck and scattered and after that it connect's with infinite consiouness, it feels like I'm the whole consiouness I'm struggling to come with words. It feels like my body is connected with everything in the universe I'm not separate from plants or table or anything. It feels like I'm not my body, mind or thoughts, I'm just one infinite field of consciousness which was now detached from my body, I'm become that expanded consiouness, i can feel that everything was consiouness with different forms of reality. I was like floating in the sea of consiouness and completely become separate from my thoughts, Thoughts were there but i was completely detached, i was completely detached from my body i didn't care if anything happen to this body or not, because i knew i was much more than my body, I'm infinite consiouness which is one with whole reality, later i started crying with blanket of bliss wash all over me, for few minutes i was amazed what i saw can't me unseen , i was just saying wooo this can't be true it was too much to handle. I'm still shocked what i saw yesterday. Hopefully some of you can resonates with this experience, hope you can give some insights what happen to me. Thanks for reading
  12. @Gladius thats the way to go, i have uber as part time just to make money on side and i enjoy driving for uber, and also I'm working on my side project where i want to excel at. I think balance is important have something on side which sort you like and keep working on things you want.
  13. @ZenBlue thanks for your explanation it make things clear, thats the way i think about this situation. You can be peace with pain and discomfort may be not feel pleasure out of it, by staying peace with present moment and work on our true vision is the way to go to experience life fully, if leo doesn't have vision to grow actualized.org we wouldn't be having this conversation.
  14. @Jonac hey man i already resigned from my work few days ago, felt little scared for a while, but i feel like life is getting better, now i can focus on my vision, that job keeps me distracted from my true desire and keep me stuck in my comfort zone.