Gili Trawangan

Yes, you are doing something wrong. You don't just give them a compliment, that's too much pressure on them and seems try-hard. Of course they want to bolt. You follow up the compliments with a tease: "I saw you from over there and thought you looked really nice... you had a mischievous look, like you've just stolen something" - this is delivered with a flirty smile, and it's only one example - a real one that I once used successfully - of many possibilities for teasing, obviously you should make it fit the situation. This is just the opener, daygame is its own art form. It's good that you're approaching, but you should learn how to go about it as well.

Have you tried intermittent fasting? It's like a miracle, I went from 21% body fat to 14% in two months. Lost a ton of fat around the stomach, I have never looked like this before. Didn't lose muscle at all, just fat. Besides regular physical exercise, all I did was skip dinner 3/4 times a week and drastically reduce the amount of carbs consumed. It didn't feel restrictive at all, there was just a bit of hunger the first few times I fasted. Do 16 hours of fasting and 8 hours of eating and you'll start to lose weight very quickly. Plus, it's healthy, unlike what common sense tells us. Last meal at 5pm, then first meal at 9am the next day, that's 16 hours. The results are incredible, really.

This is an account of a retreat I did this past weekend, where I took Ayahuasca for two consecutive nights and 5meo-dmt in between. It was my first experience with either of these substances. The experience did not last two nights, it lasted life-times. I will never be able to express how profound it was, but I will nevertheless try my best to share pieces of it. If I can express a small portion of what it was like, it will be enough. The house where the retreat was held was lovely, with a large backyard, weather conditions were perfect. The house itself was large, rustic and heavily decorated with Christian paraphernalia, including a big statue of Jesus that the organizers said they wanted to clear away from the room but was too heavy. The idea was to not have a religious vibe that could affect people’s experiences, but in the end it made no difference to anybody. It sure looked heavy J The connection that the six participants ended up creating was very deep. People from all walks of life, with different life stories and perspectives and levels of consciousness, but all were pretty much transformed by the end of the retreat. One of them was a pretty girl who I found to be my mirror. How much we have in common is frightening. I didn’t know I could have deep talks with someone I’m attracted to, but yes it is possible. I was actually talking to someone who Knows. It was both exciting and comforting. First round of Ayahuasca: being born again There were mattresses on the floor and a few candles lit. Buckets for purging are handed out in the beginning. They recommend closing your eyes after taking it. It tasted weird and was very thick, they had to add water to the glasses after taking the shot, cause you couldn’t drink it all as a result of the thickness. After about one hour they ask you if you want a second dose. Everybody went for the second dose. I have little memory of that first night. I know that I was really enjoying the fractals and the visuals as I heard the first few people puking. I remember thinking “why are they puking? This is so good and funny”. Not long after that, I felt a revolt in my stomach that was prompted by the choice of song. I hadn’t realized that the music was helping create the entire experience. I’ve always taken psychedelics in silence, but these guys use music and it can be spectacular. The trip was getting deeper. I went for the bucket and took a long time before I could purge. The purge was a birth. As the puke finally left the body I was infinity and not a person. That’s what you’re purging, you’re letting go of what you are not. Then it’s clear to me that none of this is a coincidence, I was summoned here and so were all the others. I see it clearly, we are supposed to be here, these exact people were supposed to meet inside of the dream. 5meo-dmt aka Bufo Alvarius: not yet, sir In the afternoon of the following day, two of us sign up for 5meo-dmt. We’re going to smoke it, and I’m extremely nervous. The other guy does it first, and as soon as he smokes and they gently throw him to the ground I see that he’s gone. I get even more nervous, shit. My breathing is all over the place, I start asking questions. They say “just trust us”. But when it’s my turn to smoke I’m too nervous to do it properly. I keep swallowing the smoke, and I forget to keep it in for longer. It’s a dud. When I see that nothing is happening I feel so frustrated. The ego is all over the place, angry: “I fucking came here to meet God!”, and I look like a kid whose toy has been stolen. After about an hour of this, I let go. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Trust it, if it wasn’t meant to be it wasn’t meant to be… and I come back to the present moment and enjoy my time with the others. I have another great chat with the girl, by the time the chat is over I’ve developed a crush. Second round of Ayahuasca: God is Infinite Love I take the first dose of Ayahuasca and within 15 minutes I know something big is going to happen. It hits me like a truck, the come up is so fast that I immediately know that I won’t be able to take the second dose within the hour. I feel the urge to pee, but I’ve been told to shut my eyes and stay there. It’s coming too fast, I can go pee and it will be ok. I’m finding excuses to run away from it. I go to the bathroom and I take my time, I wash my hands, I go back, I want to keep my eyes open, I’m afraid to close them. The visuals start with my eyes open, I realize that I’m terrified and I’m trying to wait it out. The come up continues, there is nowhere to run to. I go back to the room and the fear rises. I tell the facilitator, “I don’t feel good”, he comes with me to the bathroom. I’m scared shitless now, and I tell him “I’m so afraid!”, he tries to calm me down but he’s really not convincing, I sit inside the bathroom by myself and hope for the best. I realize there’s nothing I can do, I’m going to die today. It’s a deep knowing that doesn’t materialize into an actual thought. I go back into the room and tell myself that I just have to take it. I try telling myself that I’m safe, and it works for some time, but then the awareness of being in a retreat and having facilitators and other people around vanishes. There is only death, and it’s overwhelmingly frightening. It’s also a slow death, because I’m disappearing and fighting it all the way through. It’s suffering of the worst kind, it’s the process of dying and not surrendering to it. “I’m not ready! Please make this go away, I’m really not ready! Please God, another day, not this moment, not now!” I want to puke and make it go away, but nothing comes, only burping. My head is inside the bucket and I cling to anything I can. First, the sounds of the room. “It’s going to be ok”, but it’s not. Everything disappears, my body disappears. The last thing I cling to is her face. Her face appears in the midst of all those fractals and all of those visuals. Her face gives me solace. But even this must go, and it does. There’s one last moment of surrender, I accept death as there is no choice. Infinity. And then there is a never-ending play where God unveils himself, that is, I unveil myself to myself. It has always been You. There was never anything else, only You. I Am Everything and Nothing. I am all things, and yet there are no things. I laugh and cry, as I am finally shown Who and What I Am. And when there is a moment of awareness of the room again, I see my head come out of the bucket and hear myself say “You got punked by God”. That’s what it feels like, it’s a joke. All of it is a joke, pretending to be human (and successfully too). And in that moment you laugh at your own gullibility and you laugh at the marvelous divine absurdity of it all. But God is not done with me. Next, it feels like my heart is being pried open with a crow bar. And waves of Love hit me. And I know that God is Love. And I cry from all the beauty, and I know that Love is all there is. Manifestation is Love. This is not seen or understood, it is FELT and seen and understood all at once. My heart opens like it never has in this lifetime. It has always been Love. It’s endless. And when you think that it’s not possible that there is more, more waves of Love hit you, and more, and more. It’s too much to handle, it’s just too much, it’s exhausting. I pray for mercy “please, no more”, and every time I pray for mercy I feel more Love. It’s TOTAL. It’s ABSOLUTE. It’s INFINITE. Every time I say I’ve had enough, it gives me more until ALL is LOVE. Whenever a strong emotion hits me now, I hear her crying harder. We are connected. My soul and hers are connected, I don’t know how to explain it, it is felt. My love for her is temporarily separated from all the Love for everything. It feels like falling into it, oh shit. My love for her is so big now that it hurts. I feel that even though she’s crying, these are beautiful loving tears. It's so profound and beautiful. But it’s not over. Besides Infinite Love, the Godhead is also Infinite Intelligence. I start to receive insight after insight at a supersonic speed. I understand so much, things I never thought were possible to ever comprehend. There are so many insights at once that there’s no way I’ll be able to remember them when I go back. But that’s ok. That’s the final insight, and this one actually stays with me. I am CONSCIOUSLY choosing to forget. That’s it, it’s a conscious CHOICE. I chose to forget that I’m God, I chose to have this experience, suffering is an illusion, everything is perfect just as it is. When I think I’m suffering I’m deluded and it doesn’t matter, it’s still Love. There is only Love. When I am in doubt, I am deluded and that’s ok too. It adds to the experience, it adds to the fun. My heart is now open, and full, time to go back to the dream. As I become more aware of the room, there is an image of my mother. She’s ill and may not have that much time left. I wish I could share this with her, I wish she could know that she doesn’t have to be afraid, there is nothing to fear. And then I’m somehow put in her shoes. I see from her eyes, I literally feel her love for me, her son. And it hurts so much that I never gave her enough affection, there is so much shame and pain, it’s so much that I can’t stop crying, I’m so sorry. Her love for me is so immense, so unconditional. Her heart is so big and beautiful, I’m overwhelmed with emotion. The pain is unbearable, but there is release and then forgiveness. I did what I knew how. I didn’t know any better, I didn’t understand. My heart was closed, there’s nothing to regret. When the process is over, I’m exhausted. What an amazing thing this is, the last sense is of so much gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The days that follow the retreat are a surge of emotion, sometimes I think back to the experience and I burst out in tears. There is no ground to stand on, infinity has no ground. There is yet much to learn as an ego. And yet there is this profound knowing, in the heart, that everything is already fine.

https://www.innermastery.es/lp/english-retreats/ I have the opportunity to go on one of these retreats next month, and am feeling the calling. But I'd like to know if there's anyone who has tried it or knows someone who has. The retreat includes taking Ayahuasca, doing psychotherapy and integration, and also taking Kambo and Bufo Alvarius (aka 5meo dmt). They seem to know what they're doing, like it's all happening responsibly. It's not just a bunch of guys taking psychedelics, there's a strong emphasis on therapy and integrating each experience. What do you think?

@pattimone I did make it and it was a transformative experience. The account is here:

How old are you? And how long have you been "doing pickup"?

God's will. That's the most truthful answer, if we accept the question as it was posed. However, if we want to concede the existence of separate selves, then we can begin to speculate. I think one of the reasons is that the materialist paradigm is so entrenched that people don't think it possible to find out anything substantial about these matters. "It's impossible to know", "How does any of that help me with my life?" would probably be some of the objections. And these are fair objections, on the face of it. Considering what we are taught about the world, it doesn't seem like a proper use of our time. Anyway, that's just speculation. The answer is God's will.

A cop stopped me once after seeing me approach a woman on the street... to congratulate me

@Kksd74628 Logic implies causation. In fact, it implies time. As in, if this happens then that happens. Truth has no such thing, therefore it isn't logical.

"You are imagining X" implies duality. There is a you and an object X that is being imagined. That's not truth. That's also why imagination is not a good pointer, it immediately creates duality by implying the existence of an imaginer apart from what's being imagined. Anyway, this is just being pedantic, because I agree with @Space , this is not something to understand logically - in fact, it defies logic altogether, it isn't logical. Truth has to be directly realized.

The ego is a spoiled little brat haha. When it believes to be a separate self in a physical body it complains about death and old age. When it starts to believe it is not separate it complains that there is no point to life. Despite now believing in immortality! Gotta love the tantrums of the ego Luckily that's not what you really are. Just let go.

Male-biased opinion here. From my perspective, when I'm with a woman I want her to be with me for me. Not for what I can give her or what I can do for her. Women can sometimes start to take for granted that we pay for stuff - I've seen it happen - so I pay for stuff when I actually feel like it and not just because it's expected of me. Indeed, if she just expects it to happen, I will lose the will to do it. In your particular case, he seems to be taking it a tad too far, but I think this - my previous paragraph - is where it's coming from. However, this is happening. It's turning you off. And this is where you would lose me. This is a huge turn off for me. Mind you, it's not like that for all guys, not at all. But like I said, I still have this notion that a woman will like me despite what I can or can't give her or do for her. Naive, perhaps, but that's where I'm coming from and maybe that's where your boyfriend is coming from too. Or not, obviously I don't know. Where does that leave you? You will have to bring it up with him, because it's bothering you and it won't just go away. Maybe he'll see it your way and change. Maybe not...

You are ripe for true spirituality. Not what you see on this forum, with all the conceptualizing, but an honest investigation of who or what you truly are. All I can say is that if you do this with all your heart, it will be worth it and suffering will be seen for what it is, an illusion. You will be able to transcend it for good. Don't believe me, just be open to the possibility. Good luck.

There isn't a POV. There is no position, no one is behind the eyes, perception is an illusion. That's the dream of being a self, not ultimate reality.

If this is true, then ban me as well. I've created an account there, though I haven't posted yet. I will not have my freedom of expression limited by these absurd conflicts. There is zero attachment to this or any other forum.

When the interpreter falls away, everything is (seen) exactly as it is. With no need for interpretation.

It is on this forum's guidelines as well, and yet so-called self-promotion (sharing your own content) is allowed to take place when it's clear that the member is not spamming and offers value on a regular basis. Which I think makes a lot of sense. I assume it's the same on the other forum. I'm done talking about this, it's not something I want to occupy my mind with.

You don't know this any more than I do. Stop spreading misinformation.

This is highly debatable. Lots of people share their own videos from their own channels here - including mods, which I think is great. He was one of those people. Again, if that isn't allowed to take place on the other forum, it will be hypocritical, there's no question about it. Not sure if that's the case though.

Chat-groups likely means whatsapp or discord - things of that nature, not other forums. If it did/does mean other forums, I would agree with you, that would be hypocritical.

Yes, if you also include not wanting to not want anything at all. Which then includes wanting. Liberation is what is already. There isn't anything which isn't liberation already, that's simply an illusion. To speak of finding liberation is a concession - it can be useful, but strictly speaking it's not true.

Notice that, with this premise, you are limiting infinity. Infinity doesn't mean that everything that can happen will happen. That would be a limit, and infinity is absolutely free. It doesn't have to be anything, but it can be anything.

These are just thoughts. "God doesn't know suffering." It's only the (illusory) separate self that imagines, through thought, that there are beings suffering. That there is anything really happening to a being or a person. Watch the video again

He's obviously right.

Here's the answer, beautifully explained: