Bill W

I'm trying! Seems like a case of one step back, one step forward, then occasionally having a mini-breakthrough and putting two steps forward. I think the trap I keep falling into is being inpatient and trying to change multiple habits and personality traits all at once. Just reading something on this site yesterday (I think a comment by Leo) that we should try and stick with one new habit at a time makes me reflect on the error of my ways. Currently I'm always asking myself... Am I practising humility? Am I being openminded? Because if those two are not right, nothing else will go as well as it could do. In terms of practicalities, I'm really focusing on cleaning up my diet. This is a daily battle. I think I've taken my eye off the ball in terms of how to efficiently build new habits. In my mind and heart I know that getting some "quick wins" and foundational habits in place can help build the momentum but I keep bailing out of my new simple habits, mostly due to poor impulse control and being unable to delay gratification.

What amount of hours means workaholic? What's the maximum hours I can work a week and not be a workaholic?

I for one hope you don't leave the forum. There seems to be a few threads at the moment with the theme of "see ya later". I know we have to look after our own wellbeing and this forum, like probably all the others, can probably seem vicious at times, and wonderfully compassionate and openminded at other times. I'm new here, and am slowly trying to change the way I develop and make myself a better version of me. In my ideal world this forum would help facilitate people of all faith's and beliefs to flourish. I'm not aware I had to agree to any one belief when I registered? I don't know who the fuck God is right now. I know I believe in something. I know there is more to life than just what we can sense. When I first lurked around this forum I thought Leo was possibly on the brink of suicide. I thought he seemed massively mentally ill with a drug addiction. I felt sorry for him. I thought who the fuck does a 3 hour vlog, and then who the fuck would do loads of 3hr vlogs like it was normal. I thought this place was full of nerds who type a good story but probably live in complete hell and misery. I think different now and finally signed up. I still think Leo is an acquired taste somewhat, but I know there is huge wisdom in him and others that I want to try and tap into. I am still battling what could be my ignorance around psychedelics. People claiming to have wonderful experiences when off their face on drugs. Well that's what drugs are for I thought? To get shit faced. To feel good. To fill a gap of emptiness. Why are these people thinking they are somehow different to other people who misuse substances. Anyway, basically I am becoming more openminded and less judgemental and this forum is teaching me that. I've seen people posting about being really hurt by the content and discussion on here. Some people stating up front they are hurt and others kind of lashing out and making a statement about disappearing or leaving, either temporarily or permanently. Perhaps the people quitting the forum have as much to offer as the ones who ride everything out and stick around. It says something for the human condition and perhaps it has to be this way, that even on a forum like this, discussion can quickly turn into a "my belief is better than your belief, let me hammer that home until you accept it". This forum is like the world at large.... some people claim to have "The Truth". Who is crazy and deluded? Well that depends on who you ask..... you ask on this forum you will probably get a different answer than if you ask a health professional. Who is right? I don't fucking know actually! I'm trying to keep an open mind.... Man on the street claims to be God.... get's hospitalised.... man running a self-development forum claims to be God (I know it's not as simple as my comparison here!), get's respect and adulation. Man on the street takes mind altering drugs to feel a certain way gets told he is wrong and maybe a junkie, man on the forum doing the same thing ,doing it for self-development, and it seems like doing drugs is as normal as making yourself two slices of toast for breakfast. I'm on this forum to try and take myself up a level (or 10). It's obvious the human condition still hunts us down and takes control a lot of the time. We are all infected with this thing called the human condition and probably the best we can do is control the symptoms (perhaps, I hope there is more to it than that). I'm new here remember, I will make lots of mistakes I am sure. I've clocked a few members who post all the time. One post of theirs is compassionate and complaining others are too harsh. Their next post is toward someone they disagree with and they seem almost like a complete different person. One post is compassion, the next is harsh judgment and what almost seems like oppression. I'm not going to mention names because that would be pointless as we all probably do it to one level or another. I know I do in life all the time. I hate doing it, but it's still happening. I believe character traits nearly always depend on circumstances. If I can minimise this and have consistently favorable character traits in as many different circumstances as possible, then I'll be happy. How many of us are this example below? Favorable circumstances, people seem to do what I want and agree with me... I'm all powerful, all forgiving, all compassionate, all understanding Trying circumstances, people not doing what they are told, people offending me.... I'll be a cu**, fuck them, they will pay. How dare they. Once I have dished out the required punishment, and justice has been done, i'll slip right back to Mr Nice Guy. I'll be Buddha again. I am at peace! As Russell Brand would say "Be nice and don't fuck anyone over".

I am a recovering alcoholic. My alcohol addiction and other addictions were a big part of my rock bottom. In terms of rock bottom, my personal view is that you know rock bottom when you hit it. For me it was almost like some kind of enlightenment moment (of course it wasn't but that's the only way I can describe it). I realised "the game was up" and that I was in deeper than I thought. I knew I needed help. I knew I needed a new direction. I knew that many aspects of the current ways I am living needed to be surrendered and/or changed. I am not saying that you have to have a rock bottom to make positive change, but for me, it was the catalyst for change. It also made me realise that I am too limited to recover just on my own willpower and my own mindset. I needed help. I needed to radically look at all the things I was not doing. All the things I was either consciously or unconsciously ignoring. I also believe rock bottom to be a very personal thing. What is rock bottom for one person, will not be rock bottom for another. A rock bottom doesn't have to be mega dramatic such as going to prison, nearly dying, or some other highly traumatic event (although it can be). For me, rock bottom is a very internal experience, that involves a deep level of surrender and acceptance. By the time I got to my rock bottom it was actually a huge relief. It involved huge failure in my work place, a lot of shame and embarrassment, but at the time, relief that the previous way of living was going to be abandoned and dismantled (to a degree). I was lucky. I had a plan in place already. I think I sensed my rock bottom was close. 8 months later things are now very different, but I still have my bad days and I still have a lot of shit to work on. There is still loads of surrendering to do. Working on being disciplined, open-minded, humble, compassionate, forgiving, looking after my physical, mental and spiritual health is often a daily battle. I make mistakes and have elements of poor performance / spiritual practice every day. This makes a lot of sense of me. For me that's like building some foundational habits. To start to do things EVERY day. Start small and build from there. Yes! This the same thing studentofthegame is saying above (I believe).

Love this.

Surely this would just make them even more insecure? If I am to avoid someone it would need to be for more than them being insecure. I certainly wouldn't avoid at all costs. That makes them sound like they have a deadly virus or something. It's harsh. I don't agree with her advice.

Hey there. I am gradually incorporating meditation into my daily life. I don't know why I am somewhat resistant to it as I believe all the positive things people say about it, and I've experienced it as helpful when I have got myself into a routine with it. I can never make up my mind whether I want to practice a more "nothing" meditation, or whether I want to focus and contemplate on something. Regardless of spiritual advancement, I thoroughly believe meditation will aid my attention and concentration. Some times I feel like I have an adult version of ADHD.

My first reaction to this was 'bullshit' but literally one second later it made sense to me. I actually copied and pasted your comment onto my list of things I've read on this forum that I need to contemplate.

I think if my house was on fire and I could only rescue 2 values it would be openmindedness and humility.

Love this. Actually I love this whole thread. I'm going to contemplate the suggestions and try to add my own feedback asap. Thanks for everyone who has responded. Great topic.

Thanks for your feedback. I like the way it started and I see some truth there but when someone tells me "the only way is..." I get a little apprehensive, unless of course it is something that in Truth can only be done one way.

Thanks both. Nice explanations.

I can't see the video it's blank underneath the text?

Also, in terms of studies on the issues we are debating. Even the best research will only tell you how groups of people are likely to respond. It can't tell you exactly how a given individual will respond.

As an OCD sufferer I can really relate to this. However, I'm going to come at this from a somewhat positive angle (I think).. It's really no surprise that OCD sufferers would have some issues with learning, memory and attention. I believe these issues are reversible. Us with OCD or any chronic anxiety disorder probably have to work harder than some others in enhancing our ability to learn, pay attention and retain information. Possibly the same is true of those with moderate or severe depression. The unfortunate thing is that the more you worry about learning ability, memory and attention the harder you might find it to achieve these things. I'm in my 40s now and am a mental health nurse and I've only just had the penny drop that if I am to improve my focus, concentration and attention then I need to practice and train my mind to do this rather than just expect it all the happen without me doing anything specific to make it happen.

@Gabriel Antonio Thanks for that! Will take a look.

There is a shit load of this going on in this forum. I don't know if it's always like this or not. I am new here. It seems there are a few members who know each other that do this on a few threads. An intelligent place for people to come and self improve and its gets crapped on in the name of "humour".

@andyjohnsonman Thanks loads for this! You said it was from a recent video of his? I'm new here and have not watched any video's yet.

Nice thread. I'm new to the Forum. I haven't watched any of Leo's videos yet. I might catch some shit for saying this but, I'm going through his list to look for some shorter ones to begin with. I know it depends on what my main goals are right now. I am sure there are a lot of his video's that depending on my current levels of development, I won't need to watch any time soon. I don't want to end up having some of Leo's 2hr videos running in the "background" while I am multitasking. I am working on my attention and concentration and want to watch video's whilst 100% focused, so i can make notes about the content and insights while it's playing.

Have you considered doing a review of this in the reviews section? I would be interested for one.

Boredom has been one of the most difficult things to deal with? Is your reply to the original poster or someone else? Just curious that's all.

Great reply. Agree 100%

Hiya. Agree with who? And what comment are you referring to please?

I love the message around being able to deal with insults better and develop a thicker skin. You used some great examples and you come across as mega authentic. I disagree with the whole macho man stuff though. It seems dated now. Can't we just apply some of this to men and women as one. It's the 21st century lol. Alpha Male pick up artist thing made me laugh. This is a like a sexist rant at times but an intelligent one! I actually will follow some of your stuff. Disagree with some of it but there is wisdom there for me. Man my reply here contradicts itself a lot. I half love your video and half hate it! Made me think though. I don't think I've ever seen a video that I'm so for and against all in one short clip.

Love your honesty. Some great replies here. It's nice to see your concerns being taken seriously, rather than it being turned into some joke fest. I have similiar anxieties myself. Long time lurker on here and only just started taking the plunge with posting. If we can't work on our issues here (in terms of using the internet for help) where the fuck can we work on them (internet forum wise). I've not seen another forum like this. Loads of wisdom and guidance. Loads of nuggets. I can barely understand some discussions but if you look around on here there is something for everyone. I don't know why people would worry about not being able to edit or delete a post unless they were confessing a crime but then again I get into a state with anxiety about things others wouldn't think twice about.