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About Joker_Theory

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  1. @Moksha i don't get it cause one can walk around a form like a car for instance so there def seems to be some boundary to me. Could you maybe explain more of what you mean? I might be missing something.
  2. @Hojo Am i a spirit in the body and pretending to be a human right so it know's its a spirit and not human or does it need to wake up that it's not a human and a spirit? Also, if we are dreaming does the spirit know it's dreaming or is it dreaming that too? When you mean dreaming you mean like we do at night or day dreaming that it's a human and need to wake up it's a spirit? Sorry this is a little new to me...
  3. Not sure what you mean. To not see form?
  4. A quote i read in Leo's blog: The God-Self is not found as a point inside your skull behind your eyes. The God-Self is your entire field of perception. Stop turning your attention inside your skull, rather, put your attention on the entire bubble that is your visual field. That is God! Stop looking for God inside your head or outside your visual field. What is meant by put your attention on the entire bubble that is your visual field like what bubble?
  5. @Raze TY
  6. @Vladimir Are you still in God mode or god consciousness? When ever i can i try to notice that everything is inside my consciousness(This feels like it's in my head but i have a feeling it's not) like i have a sphere that is conscious and that everything is inside this sphere. Also, i will meditate with my eyes closed and notice a feeling in my leg then a thought comes up that feeling is in my leg and i will then realise it's just a feeling floating in "space" or consciousness. Is that useful to awaken or am i waisting my time?
  7. Hi Before i tell the story by this point i am addicted to phenibut 3-4gpd but this is not a problem cause i don't get WD from it if i take it in 24 hours and i have a history of alcohol addiction which i quit at this stage a while ago. Got a very addictive personality but stayed away from other drugs at this moment. I don't want to be in the victim mentality and so i am not blaming people , circumstances or situations but that's how i am going to describe the story. I guess deep down i do blame them but i understand it's my ego and understand it by doing this it relieves the pain a bit and takes away my responsibility in being so stupid. So here goes. Got called by my uncle to come help him pick up his wife cause she fell on the ground and he can't get her up so i go and help her. I visit there a bit and i don't understand why she is so weak that she can't get up. Only to find out later that her son is sick and might have covid. She does look weak and a bit sick but not covid symptoms so i thought i might be safe. Anyway turns out they both had covid and i got covid the Monday. I am 43 so i feel i am young and healthy and i will make it without going to the hospital and that turns out to be wrong as the covid goes into my lungs and end up with Double pneumonia. I forgot to mention that i have severe anxiety/fear and severe social anxiety/phobia and a super nervous, shy and scared guy so i am panicking at this point. I stayed in a government hospital in South Africa is scary in the first place and i'm a white guy(not a racist at all cause of spirituality and we are all one) and there is prob 4 white people and every other person is are not. Black people hate us whites here in South Africa and for good reason and they live in poverty which i understand why they are so violent. At this point i am also so sick so i am okay and sleep most of the time so first 7 days in hospital hard cause i'm sick and scared i am going to die(fear i thought i transcended but apparently not) so i just take my prescribed 0.5mg Clonazepam(benzo's) everyday(skip a day or two here and there) instead of as needed for the rest of my 1 and a half month stay there. The covid ward was not that bad but when they send me to the ward were people that had covid that had heal was the worst Thats when i needed to take 0.5mg Clonazepam twice a day cause my nervous were up with the patients there some in pain and some just behaving badly cause that's how they act. Also, so rasism against me cause i was the only white there and they hate us like i said. It was a nightmare!! Coming out of hospital is when i only realised i was hooked on Clonazepam when i had my first panic attack stopping cause i was out of hospital. It did not stop there so i still had some lung infection and was coughing up blood for 2 weeks till finally my lung collapsed and had to go back to hospital for another 2 months but stayed on 1mg Clonazepam. I have gone to Dr which don't really know how to taper this stuff. They made me taper to fast and totally got my brain fried. I have switched over to diazepam which has longer half life but i just cant cope with life cause it's been now more than 1.5 years now and still on everything. Benzo's has wrecked my life cause i keep getting tolerance WD even though the half life is so long. It's tough to come through the day without feeling like a nervous wreck. I have no job(my dad could not afford me anymore) and no money so i am lucky my mom is helping me pay for my meds. I need to do something(going to start tapering Phenibut tomorrow) but anyway that's my story. Oh and lost my 6 year meditation practice and so i feel so lost. Sorry for typing such a long story and now feel stupid writing it cause it seems like it has no purpose and thought to ask some questions but now can't think of anything. I feel i learned so much in this horror show but difficult to get on my feet. I guess i could ask if some here can relate and how did you get off benzo's? Is there any kind of practice to help addictions? Thanks for reading!!
  8. I will atm the pressure is just annoying but i can handle it and will def continue now with it till i can't anymore and will give my system rest. I have realized that it's not me suffering an thinking is just me observing thoughts and it's not my thoughts and i def feel suffering ease up a bit but before long i am back to thinking i am the thinker or the sufferer so it's a process of remembering again and again...
  9. Yeah true on finding who you are and your true nature is very important and i have been doing that the last year more than energy practices but i do meditation everyday but my meditations have not been so deep cause i have not had a good last year in daily life and got depressed. I feel that the depression cause me not to go deep as i usually do and now that depression is lifting i m going deep again and starting to focus on awakening which is causing this pressure in my head and like you rightfully say mind and body not use to this kind of strong energy but it will get better. Thanks
  10. I was reading about one of you comments of looking in the mirror and then i walked to the door thinking what the hell this means and then this song played, someone sitting in a car outside and all of a sudden i dropped all thinking or happened all by itself and i listened and this is what i heard. "Look into my eyes You will see What you mean to me Search your heart Search your soul And when you find me there You'll search no more Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for You know it's true Everything I do I do it for you." Wowww it was like God was talking to me and that was what you guy's mean look into the mirror. Search your heart and search you soul(self inquiry)and you'll find "ME" there and you wont search no more!!! I have found that already but i was reminded of it and wow like i got goose bumps everywhere and remembered again who I am really
  11. Sweet. I cant feel energy and i sometimes overcook my energy system and get this pressure in my head from meditating to much which put's me off doing energy work. I feel sometimes you need a teacher that knows what he is doing to not only give you advice but to help hold space so the energy flows more smoothly or one will have problems but that could just be me. Maybe i don't know how to control the energy is my problem.
  12. This might help as this was very profound when i heard it. Something Bashar said. He said something along these lines: Dual thinking is creating separation cause your thinking you are or God/everything there is or your not but that is dual thinking like this or that but your both All that is/ever was and will be and not and nothing even. You see it's not THIS OR THAT BUT THIS/AND THAT. TADA!!!!!
  13. @m0hsen Does Kriya yoga cause a more energetic awakening or how does it help?
  14. Wowww that's cool. I get it intellectually and so i get what you saying and sounds freeing. I forget that i am the watcher and get lost in the movie all ways and only intellectually awaken here and there every day