JayG84

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Everything posted by JayG84

  1. So you're saying that no matter what our conscious minds think in the material realm, we cannot manipulate our reality? We can only re-contextualize what is already happening into bias/acceptance (love) or rejection (suffering)? In a sense, everything is random, spontaneous creation with no way of controlling it from God's perspective. We can only 'choose' how we perceive it and whether to love it or reject it? The Universe is not 'working with us' to bring us the life we want, which makes sense because that would be ego. Is this why do don't speak of the Law of Attraction very often?
  2. I don't have much experience with psychedelics, but I'm curious, what about this high dose with so traumatic and damaging to an experienced man like you? Was it what you felt or what you saw? Was it that you couldn't hold that much love within you? Was it the horror of the level of "evil" in you and others? After the realization that it's all Love and Goodness, what is there to be traumatized with?
  3. I know I know. There's no such thing as energy in the scientific sense. Energy is a thought, a concept. But the energy that binds all of us, which unites, Love. We all feel this energy, do we not? When you walk into a room with people in it, you can feel this energy, it has a quality to it. We talk about Fear being a "dense" form of Love. Some spiritual teachings even talk about physicality itself being this Love energy moving at incredibly high speeds coagulating into physical objects. Kundalini energy blockages are thought to be dense energy areas in the body that can be released to make you a better conductor for Love. Is there any truth to this understanding? Can everything be thought of as different densities of Love energy moving at different frequencies? As long as we recognize that it is just a model and not the territory?
  4. How does forgetfulness work? It seems to be just as fundamental as Love. The only way anything can be is because we literally forget Everything. How is this not talked about more in these circles? It's the one thing that I can't even conceive of how it's the case. And possibly my biggest obstacle to awakening. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm actually God, the ONLY thing that exists, but I'm this stupid, just because. And I'm also, at the same time, creating this whole reality in real time from Nothing so consistently. It just doesn't make sense how this is the case. With all of my skepticism, and direct experience truth, this is the one thing that I take for completely for granted. But I guess this is the thing that you wake up to when you do and probably the biggest shock. I just can't imagine how.
  5. Is there a definite line that you cross when you're suddenly "awake"? I consider myself awake compared to people who live completely unconscious to why they do some of the things they do. It makes sense to me that there are infinite degrees of awareness because I have felt myself becoming more aware as I recognize the ego's traps andthe illusion of self. But is there a "huge breakthrough" you must surpass to consider yourself to be awake? Is that what a mystical experience is supposed to be? Is it possible for someone to just get more conscious in a slow and steady way that they don't even realize they are at a high level, like acclimating to a certain water temperature? Or is "awake" a state of consciousness that is completely unmistakable and outside anything to could imagine experiencing day to day?
  6. I just read CwG. It definitely talks about things I've never heard from Leo. I would like to hear more of his thoughts on The role of Desire in how we manifest our realities and the metaphysics of energy fields that are Consciousness/Love. Like we've all "felt" Love and the energy or vibe of another person. How does this fit in to awakening? Is this Kundalini energy that we must purify to become better conductors for more Love?
  7. Is it not the case that there are infinities inside of infinities, but that the total makes up Absolute Infinity? Like my phone is infinite, but not Absolutely Infinite. (Infinite Sets) a la Georg Cantor. I know we're not talking numbers, but it's representative of the nature of Infinity, is it not?
  8. I know it can't, but I would like to discuss it none the less. It feels like I've have genuine insights to the nature of infinite number of infinities couched in Absolute infinity. There are an Infinite amount of me's living an infinite amount of possibilities. The decisions and distinctions I've made has cut out the way I'm experiencing this life, but there are no limits on what I can experience, just the ones I choose to place. But that would mean that everything that's happening in the world right now is my direct experience of the world, and only mine, because I choose to create it exactly the way that it is because of the limits my ego places on infinity. The only thing that would matter is how I choose to see it. So it sort of is like solipsism, but more extreme because there are an infinite amount of beings experiencing their versions of infinity all all the same time.
  9. @Waken @Leo Gura @mandyjw @Nahm I struggle to find the words but I've been slowly coming to the realization that each one of us is living our own version of infinity. Like there are infinite versions of infinity and we are one of them, but we have have access to the whole of "an infinity" within Absolute Infinity to chisel out our own special version of it. So we're playing a single player video game that has infinite data of possible situations, and there are infinite amount of copies for other beings to play, but we are all connected through the internet so all "others" are NPC's in my version of infinity, but ultimately I can create on the fly, and play this game anyway I want? Is this close? Can any other beings affect my version of this game at all or is this an egoic illusion?
  10. I was programmed from a young age that it's necessary to adapt to life. That life is something that you have to "get through" so I should pick a safe career with benefits and a pension and I should just accept it and someday I'll get to retirement and I will have "won" life. Probably a lot of people were programmed with this mentality. The problem is that I don't think I can make it to retirement doing what I'm doing. I'm an emotional and conceptual thinking, artistically minded male with a lot of feminine energy. And I chose a career that was the complete opposite of that. A very male dominated, mechanical type job that I'm not interested in at all. I've been telling myself for 15 years that things will get better with acceptance. That I'm selfish and greedy for wanting a life that I can only dream about. I'm not aligned with any of my values and wants in life. The complete opposite actually, and then I wonder why I'm not satisfied. Is it even possible to mould yourself to a life that doesn't seem to fit my personality? Or is the only way forward to align your life with the personality you already have? In other words, is your higher self mouldable or is it fixed? Is the unhappiness a sign from source that I'm doing life wrong?
  11. Well the self is an illusion right. So I should be able to adapt to anything. Suffering is all in the mind. So my question where does aptitude come from? What makes me better suited do be an artist rather than a tradesman? Is it part of the ego that's adaptable, or is it part of your higher self that cannot be changed? I've learnt to be good at my job. But that's not the same thing as having a job that's the "right fit"...
  12. @JosephKnecht I took the last year off of work to figure my life out. I spent it isolated, reading, contemplating, working on passions, etc. I feel like I've grown so much. 2 weeks ago I went back to work with stage blue/orange people and I feel more alone than I did when I was isolated. It's like I'm watching chimps in the zoo. I don't know if I feel more connected or disconnected. Like on one hand I understand people so much more. I can feel their energy and see they're motives behind everything they do. But on the other hand I find it very hard to participate in it without feeling inauthentic, so I sort of just "study it". I really miss being isolated now, it's where I feel my most authentic, but to be a sailor, you must leave the port I guess.
  13. I'm thinking of going back to school to pursue my life purpose in Psychology, but I'm not quite sure that it's the right move considering that I've already studied a lot of what I'm going to learn on my own, and the school system is too close minded to bring a non-dual perspective into. I want to try to bring fresh ideas and insights to humanity and help as many people as possible, but I'm not sure if the status quo of the 'academic path' is going to be receptive to paradigm shifts anytime soon. Do you think that it's worth trying to change the system from inside the estabished paradigms with credentials, or try to come at it from outside the system with no credentials?
  14. I want to go to university for a few reasons. First is to align myself with my passion which is conceptual understanding of the psychological development of people and society. I've always been interested in this since I was like 10 years old, and I just realized that it was always my purpose and passion to talk to people about deep subjects. Second is to be around more like minded people. I'm in a job right now where I just don't jive with the people I'm around at all. No one that I spend my days with likes to talk about meta-topics and philosophical concepts. All conversations are very surface level. I understand that they are probably in lower stages of development that I am but I really long for people I can relate to. Third is because I always felt drawn to the university/academic path but never thought I was smart enough or worthy of going so I settled for a blue-collar job that never challenged me to get me safely through life. I always regretted this decision and I now realize that the thought of not being smart enough was a limiting belief that I had to get over. So now I sort of what to prove to myself that I can do it. And Forth, and what I started this thread, is that Psychology is one of those fields that really require credentials to be taken seriously (unfortunately). I feel like it would be a better strategy to work within the system to try to merge non-dual teachings into psychology than to try to change the status quo with no credentials. I guess my end goal would be to help move the world towards accepting more spirituality into the very scientific based paradigm of established psychological models. I would also like to have a private practice where I help people do self-inquiry and contemplative exercises as psychotherapy.
  15. I'm interested in doing a psychedelic based therapy program but I don't know how to go about it since it's not it's only approved for certain disorders and the trails are very hard to get into. I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience with underground therapists and how you found them. You don't have to go into specifics, but I'd like to get an idea since I've heard a lot of success stories with this kind of treatment and after years of traditional therapy, I feel like my spirituality has outgrown their methods. Any info for Canada would be much appreciated too. Thanks.
  16. I became a tradesman because when I was younger I had no idea what I wanted and I was pushed to get a trade to play it 'safe'. I grew up as a sensitive kid, always was more interested in the arts and social sciences than mechanical things, but never thought I was "smart enough" to go to university or to contribute anything to these fields, so I settled on doing the safe thing and just getting a decent paying, manual labour job. The problem is that I've never felt comfortable in this line of work. I have always been a pretty conscious person, people have called me an 'old soul'. I've always been sensitive to peoples egos and felt their energy strongly. The people I work with are very low-conscious, most of them have major anger issues, undiagnosed personality disorders, and massive defence mechanisms. I always feel like I'm on pins and needles around everyone and I'm scared of saying the wrong thing or doing something that'll set someone off. I find it very hard to be my authentic self in this environment. I always have to play characters and put on a tough guy persona to fit in with them. Even though I look and act very masculine, I definitely have a stronger than average feminine side of me that I'm constantly suppressing to not raise too many eyebrows. Sometimes I feel like I would feel more authentic working as a coffee barista than have to put on all these inauthentic personas. I've always felt more comfortable around sensitive academic types (which most of my best friends are) than around other tradesmen. I feel like I went down a very wrong path with my career and I'm wondering if I should start over again fresh knowing what I know now. Anyone else been struggling to be more authentic and find their place in the world? What have you learned along the way?
  17. I have a confession to make. I'm Lazy and addicted to Self-Help content. I didn't know that I was this lazy, but I am. I didn't want to see that I am, but I am. This realization hit me when I tried to do a solo retreat and tried to stay away from all technology for a week. I realized that for years I've been neglecting every part of my life, but at the same time thinking I'm just 'finding myself'. Just like a hardcore drug addict, I've completely isolated myself from society, gave up on pursuing any life purpose, neglected my relationships, stopped giving any kind of a shit about anything except 'raising my consciousness', all under the justification of 'None of it matters', 'It's all a dream', and 'Everyone else is asleep, I'm awake'. I have a major addiction to Youtube and Podcasts. These things are the devil in disguise as "productivity". It's insidious because these things give you just enough information and understanding to convince you that you are doing the work. It feels like I'm doing effortless work, but it's really entertainment disguised as work while convincing you that it's a passion. My attention has become so fragmented; I can hop from topic to topic to topic, each a 5 to 20min video just repeating the things that I've already heard and reinforcing my 'understanding' of the subject, and I think that the groove is being carved deeper and deeper, but it's just distracting me from Life. Life is meant to be lived. I'm living my life vicariously through people on the internet. I feel like I'm bettering myself, but I'm really falling deeper into a small life of isolation and apathy, while simultaneously thinking that I'm 'doing better' and 'happier' than the people who are asleep in the rat race of society. I also realized that the reason why I don't want to live a bigger life is that I'm afraid, and I'm in denial of it. I've convinced myself that I don't want 'The Good Life', that it's beneath me, that all of it is mainstream and materialistic, that it's low-concious behaviour. But the truth is that I'm lazy and I'm too afraid to become to person I want to be. I don't have the confidence to trust my abilities to do good in the world. I'm afraid of other people's egos and mine is too sensitive to deal with them. I still have limiting beliefs that the world is unfair to good people, and that safety and comfort are the only things I should strive for. I have to start Living! I have to get off of the internet, get back out in the world, and engage with life. I have to step back from Learning and focus more on Doing. Man, how could I have been so blind, chasing the next Ah-Ha moment, like 'one more video and I'll get it!'. I have to let experience be my guide. I have to make overcoming fears be my spiritual practice. Chasing Enlightenment in isolation is not Pursuing Enlightenment. We must be tested to be able to overcome!
  18. I just started working again after 1 year off. I spent the year being completely myself and doing the things that I wanted to do. I lost a lot of weight, focused on some of my passions, expanded my consciousness immensely, I thought I overcame a lot of my anxiety and perfectionism this year. But as soon as I went back to work, it all rushed back and now I'm missing the past year so much. It's like my career is keeping me locked in a pattern of being. I work with some low-conscious people who aren't really on my vibe. What I do is not even close to being my life purpose, but it pays well enough and affords me a lot of time off if I need it. I know that I have to surround myself with higher conscious people and keep trying to grow myself, but now my job drags me down every day and I'm too tired when I get home to do the healthy habits I had before and resort to just watching Youtube all night. I'm thinking on doing a career change but I have no idea what I want to do even after heavy contemplation. It seems that I'm interested in a lot of things but only get passionate about them for short periods of time. I jump from video to video, podcast to podcast, book to book, but nothing stands out as something worth devoting my life too besides helping others in some capacity.
  19. Thanks man. Good advice ?I'll definitely be trying to show myself more compassion. Thanks for sharing your experience. I sort of did it the opposite way. Tried therapy and medication first and that didn't work too well for me so I turned to other methods, which has done a lot for me internally, but not so much in my outer life. But I'm glad to hear that it's helping you, the road is different for all of us ? Thanks for the shout out video man! Good to know I'm not alone in this. You're right that habits are helpful. I've made a schedule that I'll be sticking to and I'm going to start to implement stategies that'll hopefully bring me more in line with a purpose. I wish you all the best ?
  20. I was thinking about the term 'Old Soul' This morning, and I was wondering if the fragmented being that I am in human form is eternally 'my' work in progress? Like when 'I' die and consciousness comes back into another form, will it still have the potential to reach the same level of consciousness I have now, or does it start over from scratch? This would explain why some humans are more spiritually gifted than others, and how some have old souls, meaning in another life they possibly reached a higher state That they are destined to get back to and beyond? Or does it just melt back into the pool and randomly spawn as a fresh new being?
  21. Season 4 Episode 9 of Rick and Morty:
  22. @Artsu @JosephKnecht Great advice guys, thanks. ? I think I do have to kind another way to come at the system as a whole. I realize I feel compassion towards the field of Psychology as a whole because of the potential that it has. There are emerging sub-fields that are close to finding the truth and helping a lot of people such as Psychedelic research and Mindfulness based CBT therapy (which inadvertently lead me into spirituality) that I feel need just a little push over the edge to something very powerful. But I may be underestimating the defense mechanisms at play.
  23. Attraction and Repulsion (Magnetism and Sexuality) Positive and Negative (Electricity and Thoughts) Gravity and Dark Energy (Expantion and Collaspe of the Universe) Order and Chaos - (Entropy) Nuclear Fusion and Nuclear Fission Love and Fear All Divison and Unity... Is it all just one force that we call different things? Is it all Love? Is that the force that drives all of it?