Sukhpaal

@ground Yeah thats true, mantras can have a positive effect

@Leo Gura That makes a whole lot more sense now. It's pretty interesting that someone can be stage turquoise spiritually, but stage blue cognitivley. @ground He never once said he was enlightened, I spent a few days with him and he reminded me a lot of other enlightened teachers. He also possesses mystic abilities, he was able to pin point important life events of mine which in no way he could have had knowledge about. He also did the same for other people who attended his meditation session which he did for free.

@Baotrader I know times get tough, I've had a history of suicidal problems and depression. Just know I love you, and so does everyone else on this forum. Don't give up.

@Leo Gura Sounds good then!

I really hope I'm not in India during your Vancouver trip. I'm gonna be in India from Feb 12-22 would phase #5 be around that time?

Hey guys, I went to a yogi recently, and he did some mystic stuff on me hahaha not too sure what it was but, he revealed I have energy blockages in my upper spine. Anyone know if Kriya yoga helps with energy blockages? Or if there is other stuff I can do to clear energy blockages, Thanks!

My greatest fear in life is that I will end up alone without a spouse. How do I confront that fear and over come it? I feel like my self inquiry and yoga practice gave me great growth but this fear of being alone forever never really changed. Any tips guys? Thank you.

Honestly, I feel from the ego perspective relationships are so tricky. Half the time I'm in one, I have no idea if I'm using the girl for my own deficiencies or if I actually enjoy the relationship and her for itself. Usually I feel like I'm just using the girl but at the same time I feel "heart break" when we break up, as if I truly loved her so it leaves me very confused. Its weird because I'm always the one doing the breaking up but I always take so long to recover and never handle break ups well.

@Leo Gura It's a bit over 3 hours. If you came to Vancouver, I'd buy even 4-5 tickets if I had to make it worth your while

@Leo Gura Vancouver please!

@aurum That's true, I guess I jumped into it because of self esteem issues. Such as "I can't find someone I want in my area" Its like someone I'm attracted to, falls for me and I jump on it immediately. I noticed right after the break up, I immediately went on Tinder to look for another girl who'd satisfy my hunger for attention and love. So I guess I went along with the relationship because of my egoic deficiencies?

Hey guys, I just need to vent and please give suggestions if you guys can. I broke up with my girlfriend who I dated for 5 months. It was a long distance relationship and we only saw each other twice in those 5 months. I met her online, I felt we both kept getting frustrated by distance. I knew it was going to eventually blow up in my face so I broke up with her after thinking about it for a month. It didn't hit me that we really broke up until we stopped talking, now I spend my days crying and being sad all the time. I've always been a needy person. I noticed I love playing the victim as well, last year I had to break up with my girlfriend because her parents were strictly religious, and this time it was because of distance. I always say "Why me?", Why can't I ever get lucky? Thanks guys for listening, please offer advice if you got any.

@aurum Why do you think its a waste of time? In my case we were looking at 3-4 years of it. I also think both of us were too immature to maintain it.

Hey guys just wanted to share an insight I had while doing self-inquiry regarding my feelings on my break up. I first noticed I started to shift from loving my girlfriend after the break up, to shifting towards hatred quite fast. I asked myself why? I noticed when I broke up with her I started to feel more Insecure than before I felt more empty than I did before I felt worthless All this while, she became friends shortly with her ex again after our break up. I would keep imagining in my head that she would hook up with him again and that drove me towards even more hatred. I was pissed, and still am here and there. How could she give me hope as a true love and just ruin it? How could she not put in what I put in for our relationship? How could she just strip everything away from me like that when she told me she never would? As I moved deeper into my mind and quit taking everything at the surface of my mind to be true, it finally started to hit me. Hating her was easier than loving her after breaking up. My subconscious mind wanted to find all sorts of ways to reason and rationalize hatred for her so I would no longer have to love her. I would not have to miss her, and I could move on easier if I hated her. She never intentionally ever hurt me but this is what I was trying to do and still am. I still have to contemplate more, but so far I have realized I have a hidden agenda of my own at work here. I still have a lot of work to do to become conscious of it. Hatred, Jealousy, Self-Pity, emptiness. The lie I immersed myself in is gone and I feel exposed again. I realized Blaming my girlfriend was easier than taking responsibility of my own feelings.

Hey guys, I use to meditate everyday or do Kriya Yoga but recently I've dabbled with self inquiry. I realize sometimes during self inquiry, I feel like I'm going crazy and am losing my mind because nothing begins to make any sense. Anyone else experience this or am I just doing it wrong?

This part hit me the hardest. Great work!

Hey guys any tips on balancing a body building diet and a consciousness work diet? I notice when I eat a lot I feel tired and this messes up my yoga sessions, etc. Anyone else here bulking and are able to do it while maintaining their mental clarity? If so what foods are you using? Thanks.

@Michael569 Yeah that's what I was thinking about. It's like I want to gain size because I feel insecure about being slim. So its like I know its an entirely egoic pursuit, I don't admire bodybuilding as an art or anything.

Hey guys, I recently started dating this girl I really like. Its been a few months but something keeps bothering me. She had a boyfriend before me and I keep picturing all the stuff they did together in my head. Any suggestions on moving past this? Thank you.

@Truth She's my girlfriend, and thanks man for the advice.

I am aware there is a difference between the two but what are the differences exactly?

Yes if we were conscious of each breath, life would become extrodinary but being conscious of each breath goes against the ego’s agenda.

So, LSD whooped my ass to say the least. I decided to take a breakthrough dose because I had taken 100-150ug doses before and handed them without a problem, even tho 150ug was starting to get difficult. So, I took the 200ug and instantly I felt as if I was dying literally. I began panicking and trying to hold on to myself but I was dying out really fast. As time went on reality started breaking down and eventually that is when death came. Reality turned into nothingness and I went back to nothingness. It was shocking, I died and left my body and went to the place where I was before I took this human body. There was just complete nothingness, and it was terrifying until the death swallowed me whole. This death period lasted probably around 10-20 minutes and then I slowly started regathering myself as an ego and it was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Ironic isn't it? My death was the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. It felt like God grabbed me and tore me to shreds! Here is some of the insights that came up shortly after I came back from death. As an Ego, I try to put an anchor in reality to create a meaning in life and a purpose. There is no place to put the anchor How could you place an anchor where there is nothing there On the anchor I put my deepest sense of self on for me its: My ex GF, other unconscious beliefs/values adopted, my brother But there is no where to put the anchor because reality does not exist and the anchor doesn't even exist! Because nothing exists, I try to make something exist so I adopt beliefs and reinforcements to make myself feel that I exist I was struggling and desperately trying to find an anchor before i even met my ex gf Then later on used her as the anchor Now shes gone and there is no anchor Even though the anchor is illusory and was never there to begin with I used my ex gf to deepen my illusion Unconsciously But my brother as well I used many others as an anchor Anchor that is illusory and non existent My brother and mom made the basis of the anchor then everything else added onto it Of course each thing added on which proportioned differently My ex gf became a huge proportion of the anchor And i used her to make the anchor feel more real than ever but then she was stripped away and now my anchor feels hollow and empty again But she is an illusion she doesn't even exist i just tried using another ego to fulfill me as an ego Sports teams, video games, and many other hobbies Were also thrown onto the anchor the ANCHOR IS ILLUSORY AND DOES NOT EXIST! used my ex girlfriend's appearance as an appeal to my ego's anchor I also noticed that there is no difference between atheist and religious person. atheist : no god is my god religious: god is my god Unless I full go into the empty void and die, I will continue to use people on my anchor the brain itself is a hallucination 'Other' people are hallucinations 'Life' is a giant hallucination Overall, I understand that even though it was the most terrifying experience I've ever had, I must die again. My goal is to surrender myself fully to death without any resistance. Of course, this will take years and years of consciousness work but I know I can do it.

@phoenix666 Exactly! It's crazy how long I resisted haha, like I resisted for awhile. But yeah it is exactly how you described it, it's something everyone should experience, really changes everything.

@phoenix666 Yeah its crazy because the hell part feels like its gonna be forever.