JustThinkingAloud

Do you really need to understand life to have a happy fulfilling life? There’s a lot of people that just aim for happiness and that’s all they need. But if you really need to understand life, try to understand the basics first and add only once you fully understood them and made sure that it makes sense to you. It can take decades to fully understand it.

You still need to learn how to protect yourself. Ask yourself what can you do differently to make sure that nobody does wrong to you again. If you know a way and want to go through it, you can “punish” the person in a civilised way, that’s why we have legal system. If it’s not that serious, you can try to let go by realising that you exposed yourself and by making sure that it won’t happen to you again and maybe even help others to avoid being hurt.

Sorry, I didn’t explain it properly. It takes two to tango, meaning that when two people don’t get along both are to blame. The biggest problem is that these two people shouldn’t have put themselves into that position. If you don’t get along with someone either fix it or walk away from it. So that means that you’re partly to blame because you were around that person and opened yourself up to get hurt. Nobody needs to be hated, bad people get punished because everyone will walk away from them and they’ll lose the benefits of having good people like you around. Don’t be hard on yourself though, we’ve all done it. Learn from it and don’t do it again. Watch out for signs that could lead to being hurt. Usually, when someone doesn’t like you or you interfere with what they want, you’re opening yourself up to get hurt. If you have more questions, just let me know

I wrote it in white at the bottom of my original reply. When you highlight the whole section as if you wanted to copy the text, it will show.

Unfortunately, most of the people don’t like being wrong. I’m still learning how to put across my ideas but generally I’ve given up on sharing unless someone specifically asks for it and even then I have to be careful not to bruise their “ego”. None of my friends are fully into personal development but they know that I am so most of the time we just casually joke about it. I usually try to suggest ideas rather than tell them that they are wrong or what to do. I’m a strong believer of karma so if they don’t listen it’s their bad luck.

This is what I do: Have a dream – it has to be the ultimate wish, no compromises, it has to feel awesome every time you imagine it. This is not a goal, goals are more realistic, when you have a dream you shoot for the stars! This gives you motivation and drive to keep going and get through tough times. Don’t worry about details too much, it just has to feel awesome, you’ll work on details as you go. Have next couple of steps towards it – this is what you work on, think about, analyse, learn, research etc Celebrate every progress – your motivation is you biggest energy source, you need to keep feeding it So now you can setup a routine that needs to involve the following: Productive time – working on your dream Thinking time – analysing your strategy - How can I do it better? Is it the right step? What is the next step? Am I progressing? Do I need to learn or research more? etc. You can do this while exercising, watching TV, cleaning your room or doing the dishes. Once you start doing it you'll know when you get tired etc you can setup how many hours a day you can do. Just don’t forget to take care of other important things (eg a loved one, your health).

At this moment, she doesn’t know what she wants so you either try to forget her or wait for her to decide. Is she worth the pain? Is she love of your life? If not, focus on her faults and you might be able to forget her and move on.

@Nivsch Both the good and the bad emotion are from a different source. Explore your mind to find the source of the bad feeling. What thoughts, memories, actions etc trigger the bad emotion? It’s much easier to fix it when you know where it’s actually coming from.

Don’t spend more than you earn and pay it off before you have to pay interest on it and you should be fine. If you’re worried, keep your limit low so you don’t overspend. If you start accumulating debt, stop using it, block it, repay it as quickly as you can as it can go out of control very easily.

Maybe try to find faults on her so you don’t idealise her too much. I think that you shouldn’t try too hard to make someone to love you, they should love you for who you actually are.

Things change. Just because the same experience doesn’t make us happy doesn’t mean that we can’t ever be happy again or that the memory is not a great memory any more. There’s new things that we can do and can get. So getting what we want or progressing towards what we want should be celebrated, appreciated and be grateful and thankful for these moments. These moments show that life can be the way we want it and that’s great!

Personally, I find it rude when people don’t face me while I’m talking to them so I find someone else to talk to. Another thing to consider is eye contact when you’re facing someone, not many people like a direct eye contact. I usually look at their mouth or nose so they don’t feel uncomfortable. Sometimes, when I ask a direct question I do look directly into their eyes but not for long. Anyway, I hope this helps a little, either way good luck!

Maybe part of you wants to experience it again, somewhere deep inside. It doesn’t have to be the actual experience that you still want, it could be that great emotion that you had and want to feel like that again.

Wow, that’s great! If you need any help on what to do with it just let know haha

How can I believe that something is true when I need to keep constantly persuading myself that it’s true?

Thank you for sharing your opinion. I suppose we all have different experiences.

I fully understand that you need to be with other girls. I’ve seen number of relationships that broke up simply because one of them haven’t had enough dating experience and wanted to see what it is like with other people. As long as she knows what you’re doing, I think it’s ok and it’s up to her to decide what she wants to do about it. Also, if I was you, I’d get as much dating experience as I can as quickly as I can so I can finally make a decision.

First, don’t ever step down to their level. You’ll become just like them and you won’t like yourself for it. I’ll tell you the way I do it but be careful you might not feel very good about yourself after it, some brutal honesty is coming. Please highlight to read after taking a deep breath! It was all my fault because I failed to protect myself!

Just be careful so they don’t “invent” a sickness for you. None of us are perfect and most of us constantly work on improving ourselves. To me that’s just a natural part of growing up and maturing process. Once you start struggling then you should get help for sure.

We are in control of our thoughts and emotions. So if you have a problem, you can choose the way you feel about it. But the interaction with the outside world can make it much easier. Why to keep persuading yourself that something bad is not bad while you can just act or walk away from it so you don’t have to deal with it internally and can focus on more productive things.

I don’t think that your customers would care about it because it doesn’t affect the service you provide. If you were the customer would you care that the owner of the business did what you did? I would care about the quality of the service I’m getting not about the personal reputation of the business owner. Being me, I probably wouldn’t even know what your name is and I don’t follow any gossip sites so it wouldn’t even reach me. Some people might even admire your courage to take your cloths of, we are all a bit different. If you’re really worried, you can change your name or your appearance so you’re not easily recognised.

Maybe there’s a cost involved. What do you have to do to have the high? If it costs you too much or you have to sacrifice too much then yes, you have to pay for it. Also, if you strongly believe that you’ll pay for it by feeling bad after, you will. You will talk yourself into feeling bad just to prove yourself right.

Thank you And yes, it's all about learning from s**t and not doing it again haha

Wow, I’d love to know all these answers too! My strategy is to have all the information nicely sorted and aligned together. Once I start having internal conflicts, I try to resolve it by picking a side, no arguments are allowed in my head!

No, usually when you have a happy episode it slowly subsides into nothing not into negative and that’s if you don’t revive it but we naturally keep reviving it. I think that in your case it could be fear of losing happiness that kicks in right after you get happy. You can’t lose happy moments or memories, they stay with you forever and every time you recall those memories the feeling comes with it, there’s no need to be scared that you lose them. You can even recreate them because you were able to do it once so you have the skill to do it again.