mmKay

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Posts posted by mmKay


  1. I don't want to sound reductionisic about your concerns but if you're a man you will keep fapping until your very last breath.

    Keep living life in between faps. No big deal. The world keeps spinning. You are literally giving yourself self-love. 

    And also you will keep eating food 'till your last day on this planet. So enjoy it. You are making yourself feel guilty for trying to fill a hole with food. It's one way you are caring or yourself. People fill this leaking hole with relationships, family and many other human distractions. 

    Indulge but keep living life would be by message. 

    Health problems suck. If you ain't got enough health nothing else matters. 

    A big one for me was living in fantasy land and expecting way too much of myself. 

    What im saying is, it's okay to dream and have standards for yourself, but also realistically  ballance that with what you are. 

    Not to sound condescending, but if all you have is water and flour don't beat yourself up for not baking a 5 star wedding cake. 

    You can still make waffles. 

     

    Pd: keep troubleshooting. You are more resourceful that you think. Watch blog episode on requisite variety. 

    https://www.actualized.org/insights/requisite-variety-and-creative-laziness


  2.  

     

     

    I'm re-visiting beliefs of mine and I noticed that I unconsciously tend to avoid microwaving food.

    It's incredibly convenient and you can pull out some extremely quick and perhaps healthy meals if used properly. 

     

    As the saying goes, you can't wing healthy eating. It requires planning.

    What do you think? Is the microwave a friend or a foe? 


  3. Is he actually into pickup as the concept we know of  hes just natural with women? 

    If he's a game dude you can be straightforward and ask him to game together this Friday. Nothing more needed. If you want to give him value be fun and enjoy yourselves. Push yourself and chat up some girls. I like to find something cool about my wing and then tell girls about this and say they should come and meet him. Then you lead them to him. It will be fun for all and you will be giving value. 

    If he doesn't know formally about game just tell him you feel like grabbing a beer at this bar this weekend or grab some food first, and if he wants to join you, that you may get him something too. When You're there just start guy talk pointing out to him that this or that girl is hot or whatever resonates with you. 

    Be like something along the lines of " so what are your tricks to get girls ? "

    And if he doesn't wanna hang around now maybe try again later. If he doesn't want to then move on, because if there's something game teaches you it's to have an abundance mindset. 

     


  4. First of all,  you can differentiate between conscious and unconscious competing. 

    I would argue that many people are not developed enough to give up competing, and forcing yourself to give it up before you've actually honestly outgrown it may be counterproductive for your development. I've interacted with plenty of minds that thrive on competing with others and that see very little value in creating for it's own sake or even colaborating with others. It's a huge source of motivation and they involve their sense of self-worth with how the're performing . This tendency seems to be heavily influenced by their upbringing , web of beliefs and even perhaps genetics. These people wither without competition.

    As long as you're alive you will be competing with others to different degrees in different scenarios .  But if you're wise enough you will not architect your life and specifically income around competing .

    Also, our current society heavily rewards being the top dog therefore plenty of people dream their whole lifes about archiving celebrity status.

    You can certainly  grow without competition. It's more difficult but also can get you way further. Competing gives a clear metric for progress, success and sense of archivement:  being better than the next person, or group of people.  I would argue it's hardwired into the human psyche (  and specifically males ) . Competing for mates, resources, status , atention, approval . . .

    I've been playing competitive videogames for more than a decade, so here are some insights I've catched of what competing entails once I had I developed a better understanding of my own psyche :

    Adrenaline rushes ( potentialy addictive) , plenty of emotions and entretainment, love of the drama, defending your honor, attention seeking , desire for status. desire to be recognized. being involved in ego clashes, being part of a comunity, desire to be best of that comunity, desire for fame, potential to earn money, desire to be sponsored by big brand names, sense of progress by "  climing the ladder " , consistently getting in flow state and very present. enjoyment of peak perfomance and performance at high your best, illusion of doing something important and noble . . .

    As you can see, pretty low consciousness stuff. But the chimp part of us still loves it .

     

    If you really want to overcome it, compete mindfully, observe your psyche over the years and become aware of the structure of what is going on. See where it takes you , how it makes you feel, how it affects your motivation and lifestyle, etc. You would be burning through your karma here in a sense . 

    You could also have a insight into the nature of meaning / value that could collapse your paradigm and you would find competing laughable because you could see through what is actually going on. But that would also completely re-wire your mind and it may get very uncomfortable.

     

    TLDR: Be wise and definitely build your life around creating and colaborating instead of  competing. You can still enjoy competing mindfully here and there because it's fun and attractive to the human mind.


  5. @Something Funny I don't really know you so I will be speculating about many things but I'll still share some ideas at you here . If you were to detail your situation and goals more perhaps I could throw in something more .

     

    Lower your treshold for success. You need to do very basic personal development and there is no shame in that. If you expect too much of yourself you will discard the small wins that are necesary for building momentum.

    Pat yourself on the back for the small victories. Ideally get an accountability partner or leverage accountability by blogging in an online journal, vlog to document your struggles and wins...

    Many people do very poorly and working and developing themselves solo ( even though that's where serious growth happens,  but simply isn't effective for many people ) and need to put actual effort into surrouding themselves with decent likeminded people that uplift them emotionally.

    I recommend that you build habits that specifically suit your desired trayectory instead of random vanilla habits. Meditation, reading and working out are great for pretty much everyone but maybe it's not what you need to worry about at this very moment.

    Specifically start SLOWLY with ONE habit that you intuit will give you good results for less effort.  If this one habit is done you're set for the day and need to accomplish nothing more. If you genuinely feel like doing more things that happen to be positive go ahead, but no need to track them or feel bad if you skip some of them for the day.

    Ideally you want to start working on a Strong Morning Routine. Waking up is a great trigger for the next habit ( whatever you choose it to be ) and sets you up for more Habit stacking ( ONLY AFTER YOUR FIRST HABIT IS SET IN STONE , about 4 months ). No need to start in the morning though. It's just a popular choice. Your trigger can be coming back from work in the afternoon or whatever.

    I can not emphasize enough the importance of MOMENTUM.  You need to set proper expectations or you will set yourself up for failure :

    You already know that we are creatures of habit. And you do know that implementing new habits take time.  And that our psyches are complex systems. And that you can't rapidly change a complex system because of Homeostasis.

    What you've described in this post is basically you struggling with building habits and  fighting Homeostasis and Ego Backlashes.

    About the lack of clarity part you described, See Leo's Life Purpose Course.

    The first few years are the toughest and it may be bittersweet. But realistically around year 5 is where you start reaping the real fruits and you can coast on your previous efforts.

    These must be your expectations.

    Pretty packed post. Re-read if needed. 

    Also be aware of your perfectionism, it's a toxic personality trait specifically in the early stages of building yourself up. I belive you resonate with George Leonard's Obsessive personallity type.


    PD : Some candy


  6. @Ima Freeman Are you supporting properly with the required minimal doses of the core 4? 

    ACC Facebook group recommends to also support your adrenals, liver and even thyroid if needed. Sounds like you critically need some of this. 

    I did some personal science at my own risk and I did a whole round with just the core 4 ( vit C, magnesium, zinc and vit E) .

    I pushed through but I felt miserable  and my poop went yellow ( which points to lack of liver support) . 

    After that I took ACE ( adrenal cortex extract ) and just one pill made significant improvement. 

    I also take taurine, milk thistle exact and artichoke extract for liver support

    Also iodine and l-thyrosine helps out the thyroid aparently but i have not feeling the difference that directly. 

    Everyone is different to surprisingly large extents. I advise you to chelate in a way that makes it as affordable as possible but perhaps you are one of those who needs a lot of specific organ support.

    Trial and error what works for you and throw out the rest. 

     

    PD : check out the andy cutler chelation facebook group. There is a 123 step by step guide to follow and it sounds that something is really wrong in your case that you should ask experienced people to help you troubleshoot.