Shadowraix

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Posts posted by Shadowraix

  3. Posted

    13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Cough... cough...

    https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-paradox-of-developing-self-trust

    This was a very useful video. Essentially the problem is I haven't done enough contemplation. The self doubt I am having is normal per se. To turn my skepticism inward and trying to sort out what I can and can't trust, but that is something where I haven't reached the light at the end of the tunnel yet.

  5. Posted · Edited by Shadowraix

    7 hours ago, Nahm said:

     

    Saying it is me doesn't seem like a solid answer. "God is in the earth worm but the earth worm is far from God."

    I may be a part of this big mind, but to shout and say "I am God!" is a half truth.

    So speaking in the perspective that I am this mind. I could simply create life like humans in which they could never know the whole answer. See if I designed this body to never be able to have certainty that I designed it and to stray away from the actual truth by forcing other ideas to be logical and the actual truth to be nonsensical in the mind. So then I can see how I myself acts.

    Nonduality may imply duality is false, but does that mean we should resort to singularity as the answer? You might ask "What other way could it be?" and even if I answer "I don't know" that isn't actually solid proof that alternatives don't exist.

    If I designed myself to be deluded from the get go, isn't the actual Truth unknowable?

    And if this mind is a simulation of something bigger, is it possible to design it in such a way that it can't ever know it is a simulation?

    6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Cough... cough...

    https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-paradox-of-developing-self-trust

    I haven't gone through your entire library of videos, so I didn't catch that. Much appreciated. Will watch/finish soon.

  6. Posted

    1 hour ago, Serotoninluv said:

    Logic and reasoning could only take me so far. . . 

    For me concepts and direct experience go hand-in-hand. If I have a nondual experience without conceptual understanding, I will dismiss the the experience as being irrational and “whoo-whoo”. If I have conceptual understanding without direct experience I’m unaware I am dualistically conceptualizing nonduality.

    Nonduality cannot be explained through  language. Every word or idea is dual - it is not another word or idea. Nonduality can only be pointed to. 

    Imagine someone pointing in space. The arm and hand are words. Logical / rational thinking focuses on the arm and hand (words). That mindset will not “see” that which cannot be explained in space. It can’t take it’s attention of the arm/hand. 

    I find nonduality really hard to talk about because evertime I say what nonduality IS, I would need to say it is also NOT that. 

    Nonduality is oneness and not oneness. Nonduality is dual and nondual. Nonduality is form and formless. 

    For me, once I started having glimpses into nondual experiences, I started to “get” what nondual speakers are trying to communicate. It just is. 

    This is my best shot at describing no duality in a logical framework:

    We often say: X is Y. You can use whatever words you want for X and Y. . . Yet, how the heck can X be Y? The human mind becomes hyper focused on the X and Y. That is a dual mindset. The nonduality is the . . . IS.

    If you want to have direct experience on a dual mind in action, try this out. It helped me. . . 

    For 5 minutes: everytime your mind tries to convine you X is Y, replace the thought with X IS X. 

    Examples::

    Orange juice (X) is my favorite drink (Y) becomes: Orange juice IS Orange Juice. A thought orange juice is my favorite drink IS a thought orange juice is my favorite drink. 

    She is rude becomes: she IS she, rude IS rude and the thought she is rude IS the thought she is rude.

    Rudeness is disrespectful can become: the thought rudeness IS disrespectful IS the thought rudeness us disrespectful.

    The thought nonduality is illogical IS the thought nonduality is illogical.

    That sunset is beautiful-> That sunset IS that sunset. The thought that sunset is beautiful IS the thought that sunset is beautiful.

    For me, this exercise was unpalatable to my ego because it could not be fully dualustic. You will quickly see how dualistic your mind is. 

    The exercise is not a nonduality. Rather it is a step away from duality. 

    Look for yourself. For me, it became totally obvious that X IS X is true and X is Y isn’t true. The claim that X is Y is the biggest scam in human history. We fall for the scam because we get conditioned to believe X is Y when we are young children.

    Logic and reason is an interesting thing for it seems to be an inherent function in thinking, but im skeptical on if that even holds even ground. Infinite realities means one in which current logic and reason is nonlogical.

    Buying into a lot of these ideas that derive from the nondual paradigm often makes me feel deluded even though they make a lot of sense.

  7. Posted · Edited by Shadowraix

    @Nahm

    And whats to say this infinite and infinitely intelligent mind is not a simulation of something bigger that is then mentally creating what we experience?

    Whats to say a lot of nondual concepts hold some truth but aren't entirely true and its all one big path/possible outcome being simulated.

    The raw idea of duality vs nonduality is a matter in how the mind perceives. But what if there is an alternative answer beyond comprehension?

    We all rely on a few core principles to shape knowledge

    1. Thought

    2. Experience through mortal faculties.

    Both of which can be utterly false. Imagine a person utterly convinced duality makes perfect sense and is the truth.

    In general its about like that for mind to manifest us and project any idea it wants on its creation.

    Almost feels like some big cosmic joke mind can choose for us to be aware of or not, or even make us think we are aware of some false alternative.

     

    Also I am using nonduality very loosely than a very tight linguistic term. Consider it now all of the ideas of writings like the Kyballion or the more recent topics that Leo has taught. I'm talking about all the ideas that often come with nonduality paradigms. (I just often shortened it to nonduality for easy sake)

  8. Posted

    "this is the only way out of this endless hell in which consciousness keeps changing forms forever"

    What exactly is this endless hell you're talking about? There is no way out of consciousness and its manifestation.

    Reincarnation doesn't exactly conflict with the one life idea. Being born in another life is just another manifestation of consciousness.

    Motivation for the current corporeal form you have ultimately comes from an innate desire to make use of it. Its about living in the present and using the potential "future" to morph your present into what you want.

  10. Posted

    2 hours ago, Echoes said:

    @Shadowraix What does nonduality actually mean? doesn't it just mean "not two"? So how is "not two" true? And if "not two" is the actual reality, there is no such thing as "not two" because in comparison to what would it exist? In comparison to two/duality, which  does not exist if not two/nonduality is true? You can not compare reality with something else. Or to simplify: If nonduality would be reality, "nonduality" is already redudant, because then it is just reality. Reality != Nonduality. Reality = Reality

    Reality can not be another topic like math, demonology, philosophy, etc. 

    If you approach nonduality with the question if it can be true or not, you just made another topic out of it. Reality is already self evident and doesn't care if it's questioned. Trust your self evident being

    There are a lot of various ideas that come with the nonduality paradigm. You can say everything is one but that is unsatisfactory and thats where you draw conclusions of some all infinite mind, true nature of consciousness etc.

    A lack of something to compare it to isn't evidence that nonduality ideas is correct though. Not being able to think of an alternative doesn't inherently mean that an alternative does not exist.

    What if our inherent structure of logic and ideas is entirely false and illusory. What if ideas within the nondual paradigm are partially correct and partially false?

    How can I be certain and KNOW these things? I don't think I can. I can draw most likely conclusions. Wouldn't to see the true nature with certainty require absolute infinite knowledge?

     

  11. Posted · Edited by Shadowraix

    Correct, full enlightenment would imply drawing back into the all mind and knowing what the all mind knows. This would require us to be beyond our corporeal form. We may have figured out aspect about the nature of everything, but that doesn't mean we will have access to everything the all mind does. Fitting infinite into finite doesn't work.

    We are basically forced to experience the various depths of the all mind though until the mind decides its time to draw us back in. This mind is our home

     

  14. Posted

    That emptiness you experienced is a good equivalent to pure consciousness. The ego does not want to let go and turn finite into infinite.

    You still have to navigate this world even as an enlightened one, enlightenment just gives you a recontextualization on how to do it through not only knowledge but experience.

    Dissociation is scary at first, I've experienced and embraced it many times, not necessarily through meditation. Acknowledge how you feel instead of trying to interpret it as good or bad.

  16. Posted · Edited by Shadowraix

    I grew up Christian then quickly transitioned into atheism and became a pretty hard skeptic slowly transitioning to that we can't know anything. I did find nonduality in the past year or so and I just had this deep "knowing" that this is the truth despite my critical approach to everything before. I had all these experiences that showed it to me.

    Yet I always have these questions of "How do I know I can trust this feeling, these writings and teachings?" Nonduality makes logical sense but that isn't inherently evident that it is the answer yet I feel this feeling of just wanting to accept it. If I accept it as truth then I come off as indoctrinated and ideological. Especially when trying to explain it to people. One person would say "The kyballion is about as correct as elmo being God"

    How do I know and trust a mind that constantly morphs data and hallucinates what I see?

    My mind could easily trick me into thinking I "know" the truth. 

  17. Posted

    On my DXM+LSD trip one visualization that helped me understand meditation was I saw energy in me and that energy was connected to everything, the universe. Meditation is what draws me back into myself to foster and harmonize with that energy when usually we are so focused on the outside. This is a very dualistic idea but it is a start.

  19. Posted

    5 hours ago, Strikr said:

    what if god never existed before us.

    we are the manifestation of the first god.

    what if universe is not created, why would infinity be created ?

    god can ask many questions, maybe god shouldn't ask more and experience what he created us for.

    if it's about collecting data, be a good rat data.

    but even if god want to have data, what for ? what if god is just borred to the point of creating his own dream.

    ho wait. for me this is the "real story", but every story could be, this is why humans can be so deluded. Or "god".

    god is still a bit bored though, so he created more simulation to expand his own imagination just because he is bored.

    makes sense to me, especially if I m god, would explain almost everything that happen'd

    ok back to the dream

     

    God is in the earth worm but is far from being God.

  20. Posted

    One of the problems I see while yes we all do have a very vague mutual understanding of social norms in how to act and communicate there is a LOT of variation from individuals. And this often derives from personality. I love dark humor jokes and a lot of my friends and I share them. Other friends, not so much. I have friends in which insults are normal and friendly, others would get offended.

    Does your gf realize that while her social norm standards have some truth in what people might expect that it doesn't apply to every person? You have to really get to know a person before you truly find out what is and isn't acceptable to them which that inherently is arbitrary. Aren't you a direct example of this variation in norm standards? So why should you follow her standards and why shouldn't both of you adopt the standards of a different person?

    One problem with behavior is that you can act intending an expression of one thing and they interpret it another. In private 1-1 contact if your gf is still interpreting you as rude then its not only about social situations with others but she is forgetting a key component that not everybody will abide by her social standards. What she should do is  be learning your behavior and intentions behind such behavior so that she can accurately interpret you.

    In the social standard I think there is some possible grounding in being more thoughtful in if what you could say could upset someone and potentially rephrasing it differently. People like to jump to conclusions based on voice tone and attitude and also depending on if you are challenging their ideas or not. So saying "Aw it can't be that bad!" is a direct challenge to his ideas and can make people defensive. 

    In social situations you could see it as some kind of puzzle. Now if you get to know someone better you then you can start dropping such caution in social situations as its far less formal.

  21. Posted · Edited by Shadowraix

    5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Of course dissociatives can be used for accessing profound mystical states.

    The only problem is, they tend to be physically harmful to the body, and also addictive.

    Ketamine can become very addictive and prolonged usages destroys the kidneys I believe. Which is why I do not recommend them. Why take those risks when you can have mindblowing mystical experiences on totally safe and non-addictive substances like LSD, mushrooms, or DMT?

    After a 5-MeO breakthrough, even small doses of LSD or mushrooms will be fully nondual, infinite experiences.

    I don't need more than 125ug of LSD to take to me to full God-mode.

    With so many safe psychedelics to explore, I would leave dissociatives for last on the list, after you've explored 2C-B, DMT, 5-MeO, MDMA, mushrooms, etc.

    BTW, once you try 5-MeO, you will not want anything else. It is a psychedelic in a league of it its own. It makes LSD seem like a toy (and LSD is no toy).

    Good points. Although I did find one study regarding photoreceptor toxicity with LSD (Yeah 1 study so grain of salt) and the whole HPPD thing for some people is definitely a concern. It is a drug with one of the highest physical safety profiles though. I'd say prolonged use of psychs has resulted in mental problems for some, but tolerance levels and overall mental strain makes it harder to abuse. Prolonged disso abuse can lead to kidney damage and cloudy minds/ scary dp/dr symptoms if you don't give your body ample recovery time which isn't helped that you can do it every day and feel fantastic. (Erowid recommends 3 week break for 3rd plat doses 4 weeks for 4th etc between DXM doses)

    Maybe 5-MeO will be the single substance for me, but I do still see myself trying dissos like Ketamine and maybe mixing it with psychedelics to have the experience. If I can obtain 5-MeO instead of N-N DMT I will do so. 

    I'm actually going for lsd+mdma pretty soon and hope to get something really special out of it. MDMA is basically a therapist for me, helped me uncover and deal with some deep trauma I wasn't aware of.

    125ug for all out God mode? Wow! That blows my mind. I can't even fathom when I only got a taste of it on 1mg

    Information is much appreciated though. I find dissociatives to be the darker cousin to psychedelics in a way. Very interesting.

  22. Posted · Edited by Shadowraix

    Leo describes in his "10 things you want you don't know you want" video that one of those things is you want the world to feel magical again like when you were a kid. We often become dulled to the magic of our usual perceived reality and drugs become a great exciting new experience. Those who do psychedelics way too much lose the 'magic' and it no longer is fun. Too much exposure to great things dulls it for us. Like buying that new video game and no longer playing it within 6 months.

    Of course that is one reason for drug use and ultimately was the reason why I even touched lsd in the first place. I wanted to see visuals. Unhealthy relationships with drugs often stems from frayed relationships with themselves, those around them, and the world around them. I had a bit of problematic DXM abuse for a bit because I was bored all the time and so I had a frayed relationship with the world being dis-satisfactory. Yet I've never had a problem with psychedelics since I've never used it to compensate for something per se but as a learning tool.

    There are 2 meanings to escape here and I think you and strikr are using different meanings. Strikr is using it in the way that escape is the intent to leave the current perceived reality to avoid dealing with some issue or emotion. That is a common reason to want to escape, but attaching that solely to escape is an assumption.

    Escape is simply a desire to leave current perceived reality into another one and that can be anything from to avoid dealing with issues to have a different mindset for self inquiry.

  23. Posted

    21 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

    What does ‘shady’ even mean?  What a slippery word that is.  Maybe ‘shady’ just means ‘I don’t like it and not I now need to pin a word to it to make it sound somewhat objective’.  My meal is shady.  My bank account is shady.  My like is shady.  My face is shady!  

    Good point. I always saw shady as having some kind of bad intent but being hard and subtle to pick up that intent or acting in such a way where subtle tendencies can give off the idea of negative intent.

  24. Posted

    1 hour ago, Strikr said:

    Why hates is so related to love though ? can you hate if you never loved ?

    should you love ? should you be neutral ? can you feel love if you never feel hate ?

    why love is better than hate ? isn't all human wanting to be at peace with himself ?

    isn't love a human concept for talking about a feeling that never existed at all in nature ?

    if feeling are real to me, is the "no feeling" of insensitive psychopath, no real ? why would some people be choose by god to be aware of "higher reality" isn't this completely egocentric ?

     

    You are asking questions that ultimately lead to subjectivity on what one would like the world to be.

    Remember that the whole point is to simulate every possibility and so the world we are living in is one out of the many. 

    Of course that is what we would call the absolute truth. The relative truth is what is real to us. Our emotions or lack thereof is a relative truth.

    Even if we deem only some knowing of the higher reality as egocentric, so what? That thought in of itself is a product of the mind.

    What I often notice is that we project our views on the entirety of God even though we really only represent a very small portion of God.

    Keep your mind on the stars and your eyes on your feet.

  25. Posted

    The you now is a culmination of all of your experiences. How you live may change but the experiences you have never truly die per se as they forever have morphed who you are.

    Regretting moving on isn't an uncommon emotion, and you will likely experience that. It takes a significant amount of time to adjust to the lack of an important person in your life. But that doesn't mean your action was wrong. Certainly your happiness isn't dependent on this individual?

    Your and that persons happiness isn't entirely dictated by this relationship so try not to treat it as some life or death situation. When you make decisions that will inherently cause some sort of pain in you and will cause your mind to freak out a little when something in your life changes, there comes a level of acceptance you need to take in. To accept that the decision you made is what you made and pondering over the past wishing you could change it doesn't do anything. Accept that you made the decision you made and go forward.