Yes, when I was in college I had to work really hard on health to lose 65 pounds. I was really fat my whole life.
I still went to college, so it wasn't 100% of my time, but it took a lot of attention and willpower to acheive that transformation and make it stick.
Starting my first business and quitting my job.
It's basically impossible to become wealthy without learning business, sales, and marketing and being very serious about business. Business does not tolerate bullshit and wishful thinking. You must deliver hard results or you're dead. Most people cannot handle that. It's brutal.
See my video: Small Business Advice.

Hi!
As many of you here I'm in my 20's (24) and building up my foundation to become a self-actualized and than even self-transcended motherfucker.
I'm pretty motivated and already done my LP course last year, doing meditation about a 3 years, going at retreats, reading books, learning, using psychedelics, networking, going to psychotherapist from time to time and purifing myself from my own and social bullshit and even thinking for myself (rarely yet )
Not so far ago @Leo Gura shared his opinon on the process of growing oneself and doing foundational work: 
So I'm agree with him, but when trying it on myself has felt some confusion and I think it can be helpful to share it with you to look at it from different perspectives.
My strategy:
As I've done Life Puprose Course I've figured out that my purpose is to help people understand root causes and mechanisms of life, make them happier.
So, the plan is:
Learning and practicing as a coach with freinds and acquaintances --> save 10,000 euros to learn at IPEC coaching program in Amsterdam, Netherlands --> Move to Netherlands (from Russia) --> Earning Good Money/Building a Nest Egg --> Get a bachelor degree as a psychologist at Maastricht University (10,000 euro/year, but there is a grant system) --> Become a psychotherapist who has a MAPS license on using MDMA/Psilocybin at the sessions (at that time it will be legal) --> Working, Going deeper into Spirituality/Awakening
But it would not be the the Hero's Journey, if the path were clear.
My personal obstacles:
#1 Health/Nutrition/Energy - 2018/2019 are years when I've become more aware of how shortly-minded I was in relationship with my system: junk food, sugar, gluten, lack of vegetebeles and healthy food, lack of energy and lack of understanding of the current situation. As I'm reading a great book from Leo's list about immune system, I've tested out that I have a licky gut, dysbacteriosis (confirmed by medical test), chornic stress and probably over toxified liver.
Last half of a year I'm trying to behave in a more responsible way - taking jiu-jitsu class, normalized my vitamin D, using supplements and nootropics, trying to avoid unhealthy food, but last one is not easy - being healthy isn't a cheap + I defenitly have an addiction (to food or stimulation as a whole). Now I'm doing three week elimination diet (from gluten, soy, corn, dairy) to restore my gut biome.
Good food, analyzes, supplements, nootropics, probiotics are pricy and that's how we went to the next obstacle... 
#2 Money - 2018 was not only about facing that I'm poor at my health awareness, but also about facing that I'm incompetent with money. Every month I was struggling, often feelng insecure and frustrated and yet uncapable to figure out the way to deal with it. That, btw, was a good motivation to finally buy myself a Life Purpose course and acting more. A little by little, I've overgrown my stage-green fluffiness "Oh, money will come, when they need!", "Oh, don't worry, it's just a money, keep being a nice guy"  and realized - we've gotta figure it out!
So I've rewatched Leo’s video about budgeting (haven’t done anything after) and than I've started to read a great book from the Booklist (nah, I won't say the name of it, go buy yourself one, it's 100% worth 35$) and than the millstones spun. I've figured out deeper the inner work, which is going behind the scenes in my relationships with money, started to do exercises from book and even asked my friend (CEO, fromer accountant) to help me to developing my financial competence. I even paticipated at the event where people playing in the board game "Cash Flow" by Robert Kiyosaki. Imagine how my stage-green guts had to feel themselves? Me, spiritual seeker, so non materialistic and sublime, who has participated at Ayahuasca retreats now is between those gross materialists?! What have I come to... 
So, now, after three months of budgeting I kinda know my monthly expense and it's... $843 (kinda good for Russia, especially that I'm working around 4-6 hours a day). This is the amount with which I more or less satisfy my monthly needs. But funny is that Coffe, Food, Junk Food, Cafe is taking 1/3 of all expenses. $843 is somewhere near the amount I earn per month.
So to take the IPEC Coaching programm I need to do at least $2070 per month, not mansioning that I probably gotta expand costs on food/supplements/nootropics/analyzes to made my health/energy level higher, becuase I need a good amount of energy and cognitive ability's to make $2070 per month. Catch 22
Also, now I'm having a time to do reading, meditation, networking, and practicing my Life Purpose, but it can become more complicated if I'll be working 8-10 hours a day.
#3 Self-efficacy
Lack of energy, impulsiveness, addictions (food, coffee, porn, social-media) and procrastination are very hard-wired inside of my psyche. Partially because I'm ADHD (not diagnosed, but there's ton of clues) and upbringing, and partially because of my ENTP type of personality, which is all right-brained, abstract and lack of discipline. I even left-handed (ruled by the right hemisphere). Of course, you can say that all that is excuses but don't waste your time. I'm kinda good at self-reflecting and double-cheking myself. Im that type of guys who are naturally gifted with abstract thinking, futurism, humor and spirituality (those are all from my top-5 strengths).
So, isn't it a great idea to devote a couple years to the discipline and self-efficacy? Of course! I'm even doing it by everyday meditation, affirmation, visualization and jiu-jitsu training.
The problem is, that it's very hard to do all that stuff at the same time and this is where confusion is from.
Which is more Important?
Devote a "chapter" to the health and do nothing else about year or two with life purpose, money and self-efficasy? Or get started from money and not giving too much attention to health? Or is it better to develop my ability to be efficiant first? Maybe fuck it all and just grinding into Life Purpose at 100%? 
"Philosoraptor meme"
The problem is - I really feel like all of them needed right now to make everything working. If I'll waste my health - it can be serious in future, plus I really want feel myself good to do the work! If I'll wont figure out money issue - there is a chain of reaction to the health and life purpose. Self-efficasy is, as I think, key skillset which needed for everything else.
So, do you guys have any ideas on how to elegantly connect everything and plan it in the best order?
How are you won one of these kind of battles? (Money/Health/Self-efficacy)
What would you do in my place?

It makes no sense to the ego-mind because the ego-mind is constantly trying to survive. The ego-mind as a mechanism does not allow you to feel happy other than as a manipulation or a reward for survival. So you are like a dog stuck in a cycle of chasing dog biscuits without realizing that there is an endless mountain of dog biscuits right over the hill. But you are so hungry for that one biscuit that you never go over the hill to dog heaven
Motivation is a manipulation mechanism that the mind uses over you. Notice how easily you're controlled by the promise of a little pleasure in the future. You are so controlled by it you wouldn't even take infinite happiness if it was offered to you. Because you'd say, "But that would mean I have to stop chasing crumbs." Yes, you'd have to stop chasing crumbs.
It's like you have been offered a billion dollars but you say, "I'm too busy to take this billion dollars because I'm busy chasing millions of dollars." Well, okay, have it your way.
Indeed. That's what an intelligent person would do.
The problem is, you can't do it. Because you're too hypnotized and addicted to life.
Are you really willing to sacrifice your entire life for God? If so, do it.
You are totally underestimating what awakening offers. It doesn't just offer happiness. It offers immortality and God-realization. You cannot even fathom such kinds of joy. It is a joy beyond anything you've experienced in your life. The technical terms for it are Bliss, Ecstasy, and Paradise.
Imagine a literal Paradise. That's what you're missing by not fully awakening. So what's the catch? The cost of attaining this Paradise is surrendering your entire life. Which is of course out of the question for you.

I know I am no one but still my mind seeks and seeks automatically and I cant stop feeling like I am no one and feeling so anxious about it because I keep thinking what and who is experiencing this moment then. I cant "distance" myself from thinking when I dont feel like there is "a secure" place where I can rest in distance. So I am rather in thoughts or inbetween, but since my awakening I havent been in a "secure" place at all. Meaning meditation is kinda troubling because I feel insecure, like not like a person, nor like consciousness, it is just there: a feeling of pure insecurity.  It is terrible if I try to interpret this with my mind...
And I cant go back "building a safe ground" first because I am already in this process. You cant go back and I cant either, it just happened and now I am just kind of a being in a human vessel or whatever. I looked into the mirror today and my mind was telling the craziest stories. I got aware enough that my mind wanted to make me feel crazy. But yet. It is indeed a hard process.

Practices are very important. You will not get much out of 5-MeO without practices.
You don't want to turn 5-MeO into a crutch. It is a powerful tool, but only a tool. It cannot be your cure-all fix. You ultimately want to be free of it.
There is so much more to this work than just blasting 5-MeO up your ass.
Keep in mind, when I do that, that's based on a very deep foundation of many years of inquiry, research, practice, and self-help. And even so, I don't do it all the time, I do it very strategically at certain periods of the year.
Practically speaking, you will never be able to handle that much 5-MeO. It will totally disrupt your life and you will not be able to integrate it fast enough, leading to all sorts of emotional problems.
Integrating 13 trips took me a lot of work. I pushed myself to the limit. And it took me 2 years of tripping to be able to do that. Don't try that at home. I'm what they call a profesisonal

@moon777light It's still valuable, but if you feel you've stalled you might want to consider another method for a while.
Try Kriya yoga or counting the breath to build up your concentration.
Self-inquiry is an advanced practice which should only be done once you've calmed your mind down and are able to maintain some degree of concentration. Otherwise it just won't be effective.
In Zen they start newbies off with counting of the breath. It's actually quite smart to do so. Count each exhale from 1 up to 10, then repeat from 1. If you lose track, start over from 1.
Do this until your mind calms down and stops thinking about random stuff. Then you can turn towards self-inquiry more.
It might also be helpful for you to do self-inquiry using a journal. Question whatever you identify with and try to deconstruct it on paper. This process is very good for opening you up to not-knowing. At first this questioning will be conceptual. That's okay. You have a lot of conceptual baggage to deconstruct before you can just sit and focus on the I AMNESS. For example, are your memories you? Is your DNA you? Is your brain you? Are your sensations you? All of this must be questioned and deconstructed even just conceptually.
Sitting and focusing on the I AMNESS is a very advanced practice. It is really not for newbies. A newbie monkey mind cannot get traction with it. It's too busy, too active.

@SQAAD Science proved it 100 years ago with the radical epistemic discoveries of quantum mechanics. It just hasn't premeated mainstream culture.
The problem is that you cannot prove something to a closedminded person no matter how much proof you have. If an ego-mind wishes to believe in materialism, no amount of proof will convince it otherwise.
The way this problem is resolved is that culture must evolve. There must be a culture war to the point where materialism is so discredited that you would look like a fool to ever speak of it publicly. In the same way that you would look like a fool to say publicly that the Earth is 5000 years old. Serious people will laugh at you. So it must become with materialism.
It will take hundreds of years for that to happen.
The whole point is that the ego-mind does not allow its metaphysics to be open to being disproven. It is taken as fact/reality and you cannot change facts (or so the ego-mind believes). Of course there was nothing factual about materialist metaphysics to begin with. But this is denied by the materialist.
It's a catch-22 situation. Individuals cannot realize it because culture is backwards. And culture cannot change because individuals are backwards. So it takes a long time for progress to occur. Generations must pass. The old dogmatic folks must natrually die off.
This is one reason why death is good. If humans lived forever they would become totally rigid and stuck in their minds. Culture could not evolve. Technology could not happen as rapidly.

@andyjohnsonman The question of how we know anything and what can and cannot be known is a very deep one. I have been studying this question for over 15 years. I have literally poured thousands of hours contemplating this one question because it is so important. On it hinges everything else. If you get this question wrong, you're basically fucked in life.
From your current POV the truth is you don't know what can or cannot be known. You do not even know what knowing is!
This is a great place to start. From this place you can do some serious inquiry. This question is not to be guessed or answered by looking up an answer in a book. You must really go on a journey and explore what knowledge is and how it works.
Also keep in mind that there are different kinds of knowing. Verbal or rational knowing is only one kind. The most advanced things I speak of are knowable, but not from your current state of consciousness.
For example, it is possible to know what God is or why existence exists or what consciousness is. But not through coventional logical verbal knowledge. There is knowing and understanding beyond the human mind.
The deepest insights I share are not just stories or beliefs -- they are transrational understandings.
Consider that there is a very profound connection between knowing and being. Some things can only be known by being them. This is the domain of mysticism and samadhi.

What is Semen Retention & Semen Retention Benefits?
Semen retention is the act of retaining one’s sperm, in order to build up inner energy and transmute one’s sexual energy into productivity, instead of leaking one’s life force, and become involved in low-consciousness behavior. So it all boils down to, that you can’t ejaculate. You can still have sex and masturbate, just without sperming, which can be a bit tricky, but the Semen Retention community got you covered with various techniques, that I will also be sharing with you in this article! By rejecting ejaculations and allowing the body to reabsorb the semen, the body is then using this vital semen to improve overall physical health, emotional stability, cognitive functions and redirect that sexual energy into something more productive and more rational like building a business, improving relationships, learning something new etc.
Semen Retention comes in various different expressions in different ancient cultures, but typically the Semen Retention community, is focusing primarily on the ancient Chinese perspective, but Egypt, Greece and Papa New Guinea, also took this concept of Semen Retention seriously.
Chinese medicine and Qigong (Qigong is a Chinese system of physical exercises and breathing control, that leads to inner balance and fulfillment), has a deep focus on semen. “Jing” means sexual energy in Chinese, and this primal energy is getting reduced everytime a man has an ejaculation, which is called an “Energy suicide”. Jing is what we come from, Jing is the vital energy that made each of us human, it’s literally the most powerful energy in the universe, if you think about it. Via semen and “Jing”, you’re able to actually create another human being. It is life in it’s most living sense, and it creates life. Astonishing powers!
It is called “Energy suicide”, because in the ancient China the typical opinion about semen was, that it was the primal energy of our life, it is the deep foundational ground pillar of your existence as a human being and all the vitamins and minerals it contains, has so much nutritional value, that you keep leaking over and over again, instead of transmuting that powerful energy into something productive, creative etc. Because that is literally what you can do with this powerful semen!
The Semen Retention community is focusing a lot on the point of disrespecting and devaluing one’s semen, they want to break up with the old socially and scientifically accepted norm and belief that ejaculation should be healthy. By disrespecting and devaluing ones semen, the main point is, that if you keep leaking your semen all the time, without any reproductional goal, and you’re only doing it for the sake of a few seconds of euphoria, you’re literally shitting on yourself, because by leaking this golden semen all the time, you’re doing “Energy suicide”, as it was described in ancient China.
What are the benefits of Semen Retention?
The benefits are enormous, and they all can’t possibly be listed here, you have to experience the benefits for yourself, test out Semen retention for yourself (Give it minimum 4 weeks) and you’ll se huge beneficial gains by doing Semen Retention!
Improved sense of life purpose
Improved positive self-image
Improved compassion
Improved motivation
Better memory
Increased energy
Increased productivity
Increased creativity
Increased focus and concentration
Baseline of happiness and joy is raised drastically
Better sleep
And so much more!
According to the ancient Chinese knowledge about Semen retention, the reason for all these benefits, are of course because of the vital, creative energy “Jing”, that balances your body completely, and makes you able to live in flow with life, and not out of balance. Don’t you think it’s worth giving it a try? Imagine you can have these semen retention benefits in your body, in 4 weeks, 4 freaking weeks, and you’re feeling immortal, and if you keep it up, it’ll only get better from that point on! If you’re truly serious about develop yourself and attain higher baselines for yourself, I’d definitely choose semen retention over nofap, as there is just more benefits to semen retention, but again it’s also a more difficult approach, I agree, but the benefits exceeds the hurdles.
Can you even comprehend the power of all these benefits? Like, how really powerful they are? Imagine if you really had all these benefits, what you would amazingly profound life you would be able to create for yourself, and the way in which you would be influencing the world in a positive and powerful way!
It’s important to mention that the benefits come at different speeds, it totally depends on your current history of sexual addiction and your current state of sexual maturity progress.
Some people will feel the benefits starts to blossom within a few days of doing semen retention and for others it may take longer, but I can assure that you will feel some difference, within a month at least, and if you keep at it, and go all in, you will seriously get some powers you didn’t even know existed.
If you remember we were talking about “Jing” earlier, the life force which you keep inside of you, that is the primal energy source of all good in your life, then it doesn’t take much to realize that if you keep leaking that energy over and over and over again, you’re depleting your body and mind. Which of course means that you’re operating from a very low level of energy.
What you put out, is what you get.
Low energy -> Low productivity -> Low results -> No semen retention benefits
High energy -> High productivity -> High results -> High semen retention benefits
Do you ever think about how you’re acting in your day to day life, in terms of consumption vs. production? Without an understanding of this principle, you will never gain any benefits of semen retention. Are you consuming more than you’re producing? You should make it a rule of thumb to always produce and do more, than consume more. Stop watching Netflix, browse social media, eat bad foods and engage in gossip, these are all weighing you down inside, because the deepest core of you, wants to express itself in creative and productive ways. It’s not for the funs that monks and other very conscious and enlightened beings are living an ascetic and spare life, and yet have a vibe and magnitude over them, that is out of this world. Living a lean life, minimalistic and frugal life is the key to happiness and a higher consciousness.
What you put out into the world is what you get. Just like you can’t just sit on your couch every single day and watch TV and complain about you’re not reaching your goals, society is shit and you’re depressed. It’s logical that you don’t get the results that you want to achieve, when you don’t put out the energy that needs to be expressed.
Maybe you’ve heard of the book “Think and grow rich, by Napoleon Hill” Maybe you haven’t – But just to sum it up, it’s a book about the most essential principles on how to attain a rich life. A bestseller with over 100.000 copies sold as of 2015. Napoleon Hill grew super rich in his financial and personal life, by observing what principles other succesful people were embodying. And a very underrated chapter in his book, is all about retaining ones semen. Where he explains the semen retention benefits of increased sexual energy that is then able to be transmuted into productive energy such as building a business etc.
Here is a nice snippet from his other book ”Outwitting The Devil”:
“Controlled sex supplies the magnetic force that attracts people to one another. It is the most important factor of a pleasing personality. It gives quality to the tone of the voice and enables one to convey through the voice any feeling desired. It serves, as nothing else can serve, to give motive-power to one’s desires. It keeps the nervous system charged with the energy needed to carry on the work of maintaining the body. It sharpens the imagination and enables tone to create useful ideas.It gives quickness and definiteness to one’s physical and mental movements. It gives one persistence and perseverance in the pursuit of one’s major purpose in life. It is a great antidote for all fear. It gives one immunity against discouragement. It helps to master laziness and procrastination. It gives one physical and mental endurance while under going any form of opposition or defeat. It gives one the fighting qualities necessary under all circumsatnaces for self-defense. In brief, it makes winners and not quitters.”
When doing semen retention or nofap, you should be aware of not only the benefits, but also the consequences that may seem negative in the beginning, but carries a seed of positivty only. It may very likely be, that you will start to rise up to a higher level of consciousness when doing seminal retention, which means that you will give up bad habits and toxic relationships, start to think in new ways and express yourself much more authentically. This could result in you having to cut off friendships and other relationships that you deep inside of your core now is not good for your personal development, your energy or consciousness for that matter. This can be a very tough pill to swallow, and many don’t do it, even though they should. You should be satisfying yourself, and break free from the bondages of lower consciousness behavior and relations, and as you move up the consciousness ladder, the more conscious you get, the more you can consciously engage in helping people in a lower consciousness to rise up to a higher consciousness, this is what this work is also all about! Making a change in the world and inspiring other people to express themselves as spiritual beings. Raise the vibration of the people of the earth, create positivity and benefit from this higher consciousness, that is what we all need in these times! In fact, this is already happening, but not on a big enough scale. You have to bite the bullet, start listening to yourself and do whatever your heart tells you, don’t be so head, be more heart.
Is Seminal Retention harmful?
In order for you to gain full benefits of semen retention and not harm yourself, which can happen if you’re not doing it correctly, it is important that you do semen retention in the right way, and with the right intentions. Imagine this raw energy builds up, if you’re not doing anything with it, you can have a lot of stagnant energy, you can amplify your current state of mind, maybe negative emotions, prostate problems etc. If you’re just keeping your energy in your penile area, you are seriously messing up with your body, it’s so easy to release the energy to benefit from semen retention, you can do that in ways like karezza, neo’s etc. We will get into that later.
To add on to this thing about your sexual energy, you can’t just go full on celibacy, as we as humans are just driven by this sexual power. It’s all about transmuting it. If you just want to throw in your sexual energy and sexual drive into a closet and close the door, imagine you being at a bach having a plastic beach ball trying to drown it in water, you can never drown it fully, the pressure in the water and the air in the beach ball, will shoot up the ball from the water. That’s exactly how your sexual energy works, and if your mindset is like this, you will never gain semen retention benefits or nofap benefits. So go with the flow.
”The sexual energy always finds a way to express itself.”
Prostate issues if you’re not moving your energy around.
Massage your penile area and massage your testicles everyday – that is also how to activate the production of hormones, you can use techniques like Microcosmic Orbit Technique on this, to circulate your energy and activated hormones around in your body, you’re super charging your energy, your health and it just feels great!
You can also massage the prostate.
You can externally massage the prostate through the perineum just by pressing in there and massaging it and there’s also a really great technique when you take a tennis ball, you sit on it. Essentially you might want to put like a towel or something about so it’s not directly on your skin, but you press, as you sit on the tennis ball directly on your perineum to really press into that area, so youre giving yourself like self acupressure there and that helps to break up any stagnant energy og energy blockages in your body. Any man should be doing this! It gives you so many benefits while doing semen retention. About 80% of all men who reach the age of 80 have prostate cancer cells in their prostate! And that is really a serious issue. This is one of the most neglected parts of our bodies, and when we neglect a part of ourselves that’s just asking for unconscious patterns to grow and disease to grow, so it’s important to be in your body to be embodied
Handle Your Sexual Energy by Doing Qigong When on Semen Retention
Qigong is the art of controlling and circulating ones piled sexual energy, to benefit from semen retention.
The work consists of very gentle movements, repeated several times, often by stretching the body, then increasing the fluids in the body (blood, synovial, lymph and cerebrospinal fluids etc.)
External and internal movements in Qigong, compared to western exercises, everything is primarily external (running, biking, weightlifting etc.) External and internal movement is required to experience the semen retention benefits fully.
Qigong is not that popular in the west yet, because of our way of understanding language in the west, is so much more different than Chinese. So culture and language is really a blockage of westerners learning to do qigong, but luckily you’re here, reading about this, so why not start implementing this into your life and start to handle your sexual energy and raise your consciousness and gain the benefits of seminal retention?
Qigong is often used for these following diseases/illnesses
Cancer
Internal organ ailments
Poor circulation
Nerve pain
Back and joint problems
General physical disease
Handling sexual energy etc.
Inner peace is a biproduct of doing Qigong. It brings you so much inner tranquility and clarity of mind, which then raises your awareness of your inner energies, and makes you capable of transforming this sexual energy from the semen retention, in the best way possible, to use this sexual energy as the driving force for the desired results you wan to achieve in your life. This is personally for me, one of the coolest benefits of semen retention when doing qi gong! Therefore Qigong is a really great practice, because it helps you crystallizing your mind and remove the pollution from your monkey mind, it makes you see clearly and know where to go on your journey. The practice of Qigong helps with managing stress, anger, anxiety, grief, depression, negative though patterns, brain fog etc. If you wish to learn more about the art and science of chinese energy healing and qigong, I suggest you check out this book ”The Way of Qigong: The Art and Science of Energy Healing”, It’s a really comprehensive and well-researched book, that is perfect for the beginner and even the advanced practitioner of Qigong. It explains the Qigong exercises as well as scientific and medical background on how it works.
Maybe you’ve heard about energy blocks before, maybe not? But what I mean by energy blocks, is the same as, if you are on semen retention let’s say, and you’re completely rejecting your sexual location of your body, and just trying to distract yourself from it, you’re also rejecting the sexual energy and power that is building up. That avoidance of that energy and area, is then creating an energy block in that sexual area, which is then going to create all these physical and mental problems for you, if you don’t start to circulate this sexual energy around. Many people and monks who have tried to attain spiritual enlightenment, by doing very tough and daunting meditation techniques and other spiritual work, has damaged their body greatly, for not clearing their energy blocks, before going into this brutal meditation exercises, we don’t want to do that, we are only looking to gain the semen retention benefits, and not the disadvantages.
Here are some really good exercises for transmuting your sexual energy via these of Qigong, you can use, when doing Semen Retention, trust me the benefits will be mind boggling! You should definetely check these exercises out, and the information available on this site!
By the way, I think it is also important to mention, that Qigong is not associated with any cult or religious beliefs, it is an exercise typically used in the eastern world, to be able to handle ones internal energy, and gain the benefits, which is then useful for you as you’re doing semen retention.
Semen Retention benefits VS. NoFap benefits – What is the difference?
Semen retention benefits and NoFap benefits are actually not that far from each other. NoFap has these different modes of NoFap, like monk mode, hard mode, light mode, normal mode etc, and they all mean something different.
Let me just recap the different NoFap modes here, so you know what I am talking about..
NoFap Light Mode
You are allowed to engage in all physical sexual activity (You can masturbate, have sex or whatever..)
No porn or fantasizing allowed
Doesn’t really give many benefits
NoFap Normal Mode
You are not allowed to fap at all
You are allowed to have sex with a partner
Gives decent amount of benefits
NoFap Hard Mode
Strictly forbidden to fap at all times
You are not allowed to have sex
No porn, fantasizing, teasing thoughts etc. is allowed
Gives a good amount of benefits
NoFap Monk Mode
Strictly forbidden to fap at all times
Strictly forbidden to have sex at all times
No toxic behavior of any kind (Quitting bad habits, Social media, etc.)
Literally going full monk
Best and fastest way to gain NoFap benefits
VS.
Semen Retention
Allowed to engage in any sexual activity, as long as you are not leaking any drop of semen, you are allowed to orgasm via the help of Karezza and or NEO’s (will explain more in depth further down in the article)
You are by the rules allowed to watch porn on Semen Retention, but you’re still blocking for some deeper benefits on semen retention when watching porn, as it is low consciousness and can damage your psyche, perception of the world etc.
Critique on Semen Retention
People don’t believe in the benefits of Semen Retention, because they don’t know how sexual energy is getting transmuted!
I believe that NoFap is currently much more accepted on the web, compared to Semen Retention. Many people think of Semen Retention benefits as the biggest bullshit thing ever, that the semen is so valuable and so on. I understand that peoples egos wants to find something wrong with everything, but seriously, if you have an open mind and do some in depth research on the benefits of semen retention and how it all actually works, it should be so obvious that semen retention has some seriously positive benefits. I think we will see both the NoFap and Semen Retention communities grow much more from now on and many years into the future, maybe it will take form in new names, and new ways of doing it, but I am sure people will be more and more conscious of the way they use their semen. Especially if people started to use exercises like Karezza and NEO’s. It’s a win-win situation in my opinion, people just aren’t aware of these opportunities yet.
I believe that the active community of semen retention is more mature and has maybe a bigger audience of people, typically adults who have studied things like Chinese medicines, acupuncture, qigong etc. although this is very raw and generalized, I believe this is how it is 
Nofap is more a starters stepping stone towards personal development for a younger audience, and older of course, but I think you can spot a difference in the maturity on the two subreddits – Not to diss on NoFap at all, I am just as much a supporter of NoFap as I am of Semen Retention, but in the online communities, I feel like the debate in Semen Retention is much more meaningful and deeper than NoFap, and you can have some seriously good debates in the semen retention subreddit.
NoFap and Semen Retention is exponentially growing communities
But I feel like the world is currently in a very chaotic state of collective mind, but at the same time, the light of hope is growing brighter for each day. It’s like so much chaos is going on, but at the same time people are waking up. More and more people are moving away from atheism, and turn towards buddhism, hinduism, zen buddhism, new age stuff etc. People need something bigger nowadays, and I feel like NoFap and Semen Retention is playing a big role in this collective awakening of society, as it reminds us of our organic homeostatic biological nature, and gives us semen retention benefits such as peace and balance in a super hectic world, because none of us can handle this stress all the time. Not only NoFap and Semen Retention is growing communities, just look at Meditation like mindfulness, visualization, yoga and so on, it’s really fascinating and definitely exciting times to be alive! The benefits of semen retention and nofap really has the powers to wake up the world!
Check out the two subreddits here
https://www.reddit.com/r/Semenretention/
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/
Can Seminal Retention Cure Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction?
Sure, Seminal Retention or Semen Retention and even NoFap has the ability to help you with PIED, but you can’t rely on these tools only. You also have to practice energy work such as Qigong or other exercises like Hatha Yoga or maybe a combination of running and meditation and so on.
Imagine if you’re only focusing on your sexual location on your body, then all your energy is stuck there, where your attention goes, energy flows. That is then blocking your blood flow to your veins, which can then lead to Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction.
So start doing Semen Retention or NoFap and combine it with an exercise that is focusing on internal and external movement. I would suggest you to do Qigong, Meditation and Yoga, several times a week, for the optimal benefits of semen retention. Many people also combine NoFap or Seminal Retention with cold showers, fasting, weightlifting etc. Which is also of great benefit! Experiment and see what works for you, but remember to don’t be too hard on your body.
Can Semen Retention Help With Hair Loss?
Absolutely! Just dig around the internet a bit, and you’ll find literally tons of reports and reviews of people doing nofap and semen retention, who have reported that their hairline is coming back and their hair is getting much thicker and feels more healthy, also their skin is much better and many people even cured their acne, thanks to seminal retention! This just tells you something about the amazing powers semen has.
So, what is the science behind this harloss?
Hair loss is often due to too high Prolactin levels in the body, which then screws not only with your hair, but also internal biological systems, that maintain your hair and so on, so you’re just seeing the outer damage, not the inner. Excessive release of Dopamine by the Hypothalamus also inhibits Prolactin’s secretion. And as you may know, everytime you jerk off, you’re releasing dopamine.
Check out this article here, for more information on the study of prolactin and hair loss…
How To Lower High Prolactin Levels in Men?
Primarily, Prolactin is responsible for stimulating the process of milk production in women, so they can breastfeed their kids (lactogenesis). This Prolactin is found in men as well, actively functioning in over 300 seperate processes. It’s recognized as a hormone with multiple purposes, with one of the widest ranges physiological actions of any hormone.
It’s super important for salt and water regulation, metabolism, reproductive behavior, immune system, hormones, the brain and general overall health mentally and physically.
High prolactin levels in homo sapiens, is often associated with nurturing and parenting behaviors.
In women, prolactin can both strongly increase or decrease ones sexual desire, but this depends on various factors.  In men, prolactin suppresses sexual behavior in rats.
Higher levels of prolactin decrease the level of estrogen in women and testosterone in men. Although it’s more profound in women.
Normal levels of prolaction enhances testosterone and sperm creation.
Nonpregnant Women4-23 nanograms per milliliter (ng/mL) or 4-23 micrograms per liter (mcg/L)
Men3-15 ng/mL or 3-15 mcg/L
Pregnant Women34-386 ng/mL or 34-386 mcg/L
Children3.2-20 ng/mL or 3.2-20 mcg/L
High prolactin in males can cause:
Infertility
Low testosterone
Low sexual desire
Erectile dysfunction
A small benign tumor (microprolactinoma) is found in the pituitary of over one-third of women with high levels of prolactin.
Hair loss
Low prolactin is associated with ovary dysfunction in women.
In men low prolactin is associated with:
Low testosterone
Erectile dysfunction
Premature ejaculation
Low sperm count
Reduced sperm motility
Decreased function of seminal vesicles
In one study on low prolactin in men, normal sperm function was restored when prolactin levels were raised back to their correct values.
In mice without prolactin receptors, the hair cycle is disrupted such that shedding occurred earlier and there was a reduced duration of the telogen phase.
For more in depth information about prolactin, I suggest you take a look at this article.
Supplements that decrease prolactin levels
Mucuna
Ginseng (Very powerful)
Uridine + Glutamine
Ginko Balboa
What is Karezza / Non Ejaculatory Orgasm (NEO)
A non ejaculatory orgasm, is a way to reach orgasm(s), without leaking your valuable semen. It’s accomplished by masturbating or having sex, but having intense control of your penis, you’re controlling your leakage of semen. So you’re literally riding the waves of edging, to such an extent that you reach a dry orgasm or a non ejaculatory orgasm.
The word Karezza comes from the Italian word ”Carezza” which means ”Caress” in english. It’s almost like a yogic form of sexual interaction between a man and a woman. The intend in this sexual continence of Karezza or Coitus reservatus, is to have deep, spiritual and meaningful intercourse, by controlling the ejaculation of the man. Instead of ejaculating, the man attempts to remain at the plateu phase, where he never climaxes full on with ejaculation, but rather climaxes on the waves of upcoming orgasms, for as long as possible, which then results in a real orgasm, without ejaculating. This is quite interesting, and people have reported some really crazy benefits from doing this sexual tantric intercourse! I will tell you how to do Karezza in details in just a moment, don’t worry – But first, I just want to share this Karezza report from a reddit user, which I found really amazing and inspiring as well!
Karezza / Non Ejaculatory Orgasm (NEO) Report From A Reddit User
” For one, it lasted for an hour and a half. I have never had sex for so long in my life (I’m 25, male). Everything was extremely slow, and pretty soon we were both in a state of intoxication as a result of being so deliberate and methodical with our bodies. We began to feel much more of every little sensation that comes with contact; brushing ankles together felt intense, I grabbed her hand and she felt chills down her whole body, the whole experience was like this.
Towards the end, I expressed to her a desire for us both to try and see what an orgasm would feel like, even though I know that we need to avoid such things for karezza to be true karezza. We both indulged each other, and I can say, unequivocally, that the orgasm was intense, but not as intense as the moments of bliss that we were both experiencing throughout the night. If anything, the orgasm took both of us out of our blissful awareness of our bodies, which I attribute to the dopamine crash that I’ve read about. I even felt the effect of wanting to flee, of wanting to get away, but I am now aware of why that happens, so I managed to ignore it enough so that I still want to see her again.
It all makes perfect sense now. There is no need for an orgasm, and anyone who has not tried karezza-style sex yet for fear of lack of orgasms, let me be the one to tell you that I had never known what heights of ecstasy were possible during sex, and the orgasm itself was far less pleasurable than the sex itself. Whoever thought to eradicate the orgasm from the sexual experience totally validated their idea with me and my partner’s experience last night.
We both came away from that experience astonished. Karezza / Non Ejaculatory Orgasm changes my entire perception of sex. Many of the insecurities that people typically feel with sex, such as not being “good” at it, not having enough experience or whatever insecurity that can be performance-based, karezza dispels all of that. Everyone is good at cuddling. Everyone is good at moving so slowly that every single thrust, spread out minutes between each other, is so incredibly powerful, that there is no need for worry about how you will perform. There is no pressure. Even when my erection was less strong than it normally was, it didn’t matter, our hands were so charged that every caress had the impact a deep thrust would have had.”
I hope this helped you to understand the depth and meaningful experience of Karezza, I was just really fascinated by his report of Karezza / Non ejaculatory orgasm, and it just says something about how rare this is in our society today, but this may be the sexual intercourse tool that we do need, to reestablish our personal deep connection to each other again, and become more present and gain the ultimate semen retention benefits.
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/karezza/comments/uftxe/first_time_with_karezzastyle_sex_last_night/
How To Do Karezza / Non Ejaculatory Orgasm (NEO)?
There is no exact step-by-step guide on how to do karezza, it’s all about how you want to do it, and the personal connection you to your partner. Although, the setting should be very relaxed, gentle, yin-yang attitude and some sort of spiritual mindset is needed to go into this intercourse. It’s a very gentle and soft intercourse, that requires you to whisper sweet words into her ears, accept her fully, accept yourself fully and go with the flow of love, let love itself take you, and be moved by that, and not thoughts or anything else, be present in the love, and you’ll be navigated around automatically, whatever your intuition tells you to do, follow that with full love and understanding.
Lay side by side, or on top of each other, keep the penetration slow, soft and gentle to avoid any ejaculation and orgasm. The more you turn each other on, the more the connection will be vibrating and the love will be turned up in volume. Try to do the following things, without causing an orgasm:
Give gentle kisses all over your partners body
Whisper in your partners ear and compliment him or her
Look into each others eyes with full love
Kiss softly each others lips, eventually a soft bite in his/her underlip
Make wordless sounds of contentment or pleasure in front of your partner
Massage your partner
Hug your partner with the intent to comfort them and eventually tell him/her that you love the person
Comfort your partners genitals
Make it a room full of acceptance, love and spiritual connection!
The more often you do this Karezza, the more your semen retention benefits will grow
Make a nice scenery, before doing Karezza, sprinkle flowers over your bed and play some soft music, eventually buy some chocolate 
What is The Goal of Karezza / Non Ejaculatory Orgasm (NEO)
The goal with Karezza / Non Ejaculatory Orgasm, is to create a much higher vibrating connection with your partner and to become more loving, accepting and intimate with each other. This is one of the ultimate semen retention benefits, Increased closeness you could say. Give it a try for atleast a month and see what happens, I almost promise you, that if you do it the correct way, you’re doomed to have tons of benefits in your relationship and your personal life as well, you will be much more comfortable and less neurotic in your day to day life, start to appreciate the world and yourself so much more!
In case you want to go deeper and want to learn more about Karezza, I highly suggest you check out: Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships by Marnia Robinson
What Are The Benefits of Semen Retention / Karezza / Non Ejaculatory Orgasm?
Helps with bladder problems
Helps with painful menstruation
Helps with prostate cancer
Gives you more energy in life
Gives you more confidence
Gives you a more loving perspective towards the world and other people
More calmness and less neurotic behavior
Overall a better health on all levels, physically, psycholygically and emotionally

I hope you were able to get some valuable information from this ultimate guide to semen retention benefits and NoFap benefits anno 2019!
In case you got any feedback, please leave or comment or contact me in the contact section!
I wish you all the best on your journey, and I hope you stick around!
Please subscribe to our monthly newsletter, in the right sidebar if you want to get more knowledge on sexual energies, confidence and self-actualization! It’s only 1 time pr. month.
All the best to you
Thisalpha.com (read full article here)

Hey there, I just want to share my experience of escaping wage slavery. I didn't achieve it, everything basically went like shit, but I experienced some deep growth from it!
So, back in late 2017, I wanted to become financially independent with affiliate marketing. I made one sell, however, most products on popular platforms were low-quality products that I didn't like, so I stopped everything. I was also in a work environment where I was bullied a lot, I was quite depressed, and I decided to quit this job.
At the beginning of 2018 I went back to my parents' house, in March/April I started to work on a SAAS app. At this time I was very angry at the world and more particularly with my father (which I hated). I also found a new job located more than one hour away from my hometown. Concerning the web app I didn't know many of the technologies that I needed, so I learned on the way.
For several months I had to do more than two hours of traffic every day, I was working on my computer in the bus and was really tired. I was also stressed by putting a lot of pressure on myself. Sometimes I was very productive, sometimes less productive and I was very hard on myself. I was telling me things like: "Some people are working 70 to 80 hours a week, so stop complaining about your life and go fucking do it!", and was unable to do any work. Hard masculine compassion (like Leo did in some videos) didn't work pretty well for me. Because of this the day after I would backslide and speak negatively to myself and be depressed, then another day I would try to catch up the loosed time by working late and sleeping only four hours. I was also at this period of time going to the gym five times per week, at 5 AM.
Finally, one day, the pressure becomes so hard with all the work, stress about my productivity, and all the intense hate against my father that I had a panic attack, the first of my entire life. I was very scared and thought I was going to die, I had difficulty to breathe and was very thirsty. I almost didn't sleep of the night but managed to calm down by doing some deep breathing.
This experience really calmed me down. Days and weeks after this, I didn't stop working on my app, but I was calmer. I also had several other panic attacks, but their intensity decreased more and more in time. Two or three months after my first attack I moved into the city where I was working, to not have to work in the bus. I was alone by myself, I didn't have and still don't have a lot of money, but I'm more independent now.
Concerning the project, I really underestimated the complexity of making a web application. I had to redo many things, work that I didn't do right, unexpected changes, etc. I basically tried to build something too complex, and it didn't even get off the ground. So I feel a little fucked up.
Now, something that I really didn't expect to happen was spiritual growth. After my last panic attack three or four months ago (who wasn't very intense), I had some deep spiritual growth which I didn't expect. I learned that acceptance is one of the most powerful things ever and I started to fully accept reality as it is and had some deep feeling of happiness. One day I had a very intense ecstasy feeling when I was in my bed, I was so happy that it was overwhelming and was unable to sleep. Sometimes I was looking at the room where I was sitting and also other things like my body, my hands and was feeling deeply connected and in peace with the world. I was smiling and had some small laughs all alone. I was looking at everything and was like: "Wtf? Wtf is all that? All of this is incredible!" I tried to describe my feelings with words but was unable to do it.
Right now I'm so grateful of everything that happened to me, so grateful that I've experienced those panic attacks, so grateful that I'm alive and exist. All of this is incredible, Even though I'm still a wage slave, I've learned a lot about myself and about web development. I did many mistakes from which I learned and feel more authentic and more happy with my life, even if don't have anything fancy.
I'm continuing my journey now

So I feel like I progress on my path, but I'm a baby Leo; After he's recently posted many posts on Dating about one night stands and picking up women, clubing and so on, he enabled me to pursue sex again. It's liberating, but at the same time I see that I'm super dependent on his ideology. Should I break free? What do you think? 

@Amadeusz You young people who follow me have to understand that I talk about extremely advanced stuff (nowadays). Really, really, really advanced stuff! It took me tens of years of earthly development before I got to the lofty topics I'm now covering. There are many earthly materialistic development topics which I hardly cover at all even though they are very important for the average viewer.
It's sort of like I'm teaching a college calculus class but you walk in by accident as a 5th grader. You need to handle the basics first.
What most of you guys need is some basic Tony Robbins shit. Do some of that before you try to get all spiritual. Be mindful of getting ahead of your skiis.

The female equivalent of pickup is maintaining a social circle. Girls are sponteneously much more social than guys. Becausw that's how they survive.

@AtmanIsBrahman You're not appreciating the depth the problem.
The very notion of discrete non-conscious physical objects is dreamed up by Consciousness.
You are assuming that objects can exist. Like a rock can just exist. But this is impossible. A rock can only exist inside Consciousness.

@Marinus That's great action-taking. 31 daytime approaches is a lot.
There are many stages to a successful pickup that must be mastered: the open, body language, the smile, eye contact, keeping conversations going, flirtation, kino/touching, authenticity, sexual tension, hitting a hook point, screening for boyfriend, getting the close, leading and pulling for instant date, number closing, etc.
It's quite hard to learn all those on your own. It helps to go with a wing-man who already has experience with this and can help you evaluate your interactions. Try to find some wings in your city.
A successful daytime approach requires a lot more than just opening the girl and saying Hi. You must learn to make the conversation fun, flirty, and interesting. And you must learn how to close in order to get any results. All daytime approaches must end with you asking the girl for an insta-date coffee.
Yes, you will be very awkward and mechanical at first. But you can quickly improve. Your goal should be to approach a girl in the same way you might approach and talk to your own girlfriend. It has to be very natural, like it's no big deal, like you've known her your own life. You must just assume this vibe and sense of friendship and familiarity right off the bat. It has to be super casual so the girl is not put on guard.
A great way to practice conversation skills and body language is by chatting with store clerks at the mall. Go find some girl clerks. They are bored most the day and will be happy to talk with you. Try to flirt with them a bit without outright hitting on them. Try to get them to open up about themselves. Try to charm them a bit. Tease them. Wink and smile at them. Tell them some stories about yourself, etc.
At this point your goal is not even to have sex but simply to become a more social, extroverted, talkative, charismatic person. You can even practice on guys and old ladies. Get good at small-talk and self-expression to strangers. Get good at building rapid social comfort, so people are comfortable around you. So they feel you as a fun friendly guy.
I love day game. The biggest problem with it is that it's not easy to find a lot of hot girls during the day unless you live near certain great locations. Cities like LA, London, and NYC are amazing for daygame, but most cities aren't.
The advantage of night is that you get a lot more girls to talk to. And there's possibilities for same night pulls.
Oh, it's also VERY IMPORTANT that when you approach a girl during the day you stop her and face up to her squarely, face to face. Do not be approaching girls from the back or the side. If she is walking, you must stop her cold by getting her attention. You must face her directly. You must have her full attention before you deliver your opener. Do not be whispering your opener to her side or back as she is walking. Run around her and stop her without scaring her. And you must always open with a smile. If there is a look of fear on your face, she will freak out. Practice that smile like your life depends on it.

Reddit is usually best. It has the most up to date info.
Google:
"site:reddit.com xxxxxxx"
Replace xxxxxx with whatever specific question you have.
Like:
"site:reddit.com best LSD first dose"

@andyjohnsonman There is an Absolute Truth. In fact, Absolute Truth is all there ever is. That's what truth is: that which is the case. It's actually very simple: whatever is must be true. And that which is untrue does not exist at all.
The being of this very moment is none other than Absolute Truth, but you are not yet conscious enough to see it as such. Concepts are getting in the way of direct consciousness of being.
Once you find the Absolute Truth you will discover that it is so grand, astounding, epic, and good that it will kill you. "Death by Truth" I call this  And you will realize that no one can know it but you. It cannot be shared with anyone else, since in truth, there is only YOU! It's ALL you!  It will break your heart that something this good cannot be shared with anyone but yourself, so learn to enjoy your own magnificence in solitude.
Ta-da!
But this will take you some years of hard work to fully realize. So get to work. It's worth it.
Or maybe everything I said above is false? You don't know. This requires exploration.

@Seththomas What is consciousness? is the most profound question in the universe. To fully grasp what consciousness is so astounding that it ends you entire old way of life.
When you ask What is consciousness? you are really asking What is the substance of all of existence? That's a monster of a question. It may take you 10-20 years of work to get the answer.
I have a video: What Is Consciousness? Maybe check that out.
In short: consciousness is nothing, consciousness is everything, consciousness is God. But just hearing that as words does very little for you. You must undertake a journey to personally realize what consciousness is. This requires multiple deep enlightenment experiences.
Very simply, to ground your inquiry, pull out your hand right now and hold it close to your face. Look at it closely. Your hand is consciousness. Realize that. And then begin to wonder: What is consciousness? What is it's very essence? Here it is, but WHAT is it?
HINT: Any object you look at is consciousness. There is nothing but consciousness. Consciousness is not a thing, it is a sort of ever-present, self-aware, space.
VERY IMPORTANT: Stop thinking of consciousness is a secretion of the brain or somehow arising out of matter. The brain and matter are both made out of consciousness. Consciousness is prior to physics or physical reality. It is impossible to understand consciousness from within the materialist paradigm.

Authentic means truthful. How to be true you're asking.
Do you notice that when you're in a job interview you are forced to smile basicly.. you're giggling, you're laughing and then you exist a place and you think. Wow that guy was a retard or a similar situation, I'm sure you know something like this in your life. When you're just acting to be one way when actually inside you feel the opposite way.
So being authentic means you're not trying to pretend anything. you're not trying to smile when you're unhappy. Like all the positive thinking phylosophies and tricks that people do.
Truth, honesty, authentisity these are the same thing basicly.
 

It's not the weed, it's one's existential questioning that does the work. The weed is just a lubricant. A lubricant does not do the work by itself, it needs a running engine.
Which explains why most people who smoke weed never realize God. Because their engine isn't running to begin with. They are not existentially questioning reality.

@Carlos At your age all of that is totally normal. The good news is you're actually way ahead of the curve because you've already found the most important thing: the field of personal development and spirituality. Most people won't find these fields until they are 30, 40, or 50 years old.
Since you're only 17 you've got many many years to resolve all those issues.
I have made multiple videos where I give a blueprint of how to begin doing personal development and I give long lists of techniques.
Just pick a thing and start working on it. Focus on whatever your heart wants most. If it's girls, then go chat up girls. A very simple exercise is to go to the local mall on the weekends and start trying to have conversations with shop clerks. Try to chat them up. Don't even hit on them, just chat with them. Try to make the conversation last for 5, 10, 15 minutes. Try to make them laugh.
After practicing that for a few months, then start applying those exact same skills at school by approaching random girls at lunch. Girls you don't know. Just teach yourself how to socialize. You don't even need pickup skills at this point. Learn to have conversations with strangers. Learn small talk. Learn eye contact. Learn how to talk about yourself. Learn how to tell interesting stories. Learn how to smile. Learn how to project your voice. Learn how to be friendly.
All of this stuff has been written about in books and talked about in videos ad nauseam. Just go apply it. Break it down into small actionable steps.

@ravlondon Yeah, I've seen that clip. That's the right attitude. He's just being too creepy and no charm.
But yeah, you gotta be an approach machine. High volume. You fish using a net, not a single hook.
You gotta be persistent like he is, and you gotta have a light-hearted attitude. Notice how he doesn't judge himself or even register rejection. A rejection is literally nothing. He's just having fun and taking it easy. That is absolutely essential. You cannot take this shit seriously. You basically must place zero investment in the girl until she's ready to sleep with you.

I found this video that talks about how to attract girls that you think are more physically attractive than you. What are your thoughts on the points in this video. Do you actually think it is possible? 
 
 

I'll give you a little history about me to try to lay out my confusion.
I used to be a nerd and play computer games all the time when I was in school. I didn't socialize and didn't need to. I had 1 or 2 good friends at the same time and that was enough. I masturbated more and more with porn becoming extremer every year. Eventually I masturbated to the most extreme porn while being high. In a sense I overdid it really hard. It has taken years to reduce the frequency and turn the porn and drug usage down. Recently I have actually gotten the point that I don't watch porn anymore. If I masturbate, I do it without any visual stimulation. It was actually a flatmate that motivated me to quit porn all together. I wanted to be as horny as possible when having sex with her. After a few times of having sex my brain seemed to have switched to sex mode and porn makes no sense anymore. It is as if the possibility of masturbating to it is gone. It is just not an option anymore.
I have changed a lot since I have been a part of actualized.org. I do sport, I am well built and lean. I am more charismatic and playful. 
When I go into a club I dance to loose myself completely. I go full out and don't care about anyone or anything. I try to let the music completely fill me. This also has the side effect that I don't care about women. In fact my style of dancing doesn't allow for another person to be in it. It is almost as if I am enjoying being alone too much. It is easier, much much easier if I don't care. In a way I prefer how music makes me feel to how a woman makes me feel. 
I don't drink much in the club, so I notice when girls look at me and smile. I also notice when they come closer to dance with me. I know that they wanted to dance when they leave disappointed and try to get away from me because I ignore them. I get the impression that it feels like a rejection to a girl if she feels that I look at her with interest, but don't engage.
I never had to do anything to get the girls I had sex with. Never had to approach. I never cared enough to do so. On the other hand I wonder if my attitude would change once I started to approach. Once I get a positive experience my mind might switch to approach mode more often. Just like it switched from masturbation/porn mode to sex mode. 
I was in the club yesterday and this girl looks at me multiple times and comes closer. I say hi and eventually get her name. She was good looking, but I still left. I didn't really want to engage. 
I don't know and its probably difficult to tell from what I have written. I am not sure if I am doing the right thing or if I am bullshitting myself. 
I am the type of person that waits and waits and waits. When I do martial arts I seldomly attack. I react to the opponent and when he hits me too hard I start moving and attacking. If I don't have to do something, I wait until I have to or the pain of resisting has become unbearable. 
It is a similar situation with girls. I notice that there is interest and all I need to do is open my mouth or turn towards her when dancing. I don't. 
In a sense I am a bit confused in which direction I want to go. I have read many books on sexuality and now I don't know anymore:
If I follow Alan Roger Currie, I would approach more girls I am attracted in order to have more casual sex with girls. Then there is Rollo Tomassi and the "rational male". Have sex with many women and don't engage in exclusive relationships. There is no special girl. -> I am not sure what to make of this tbh. If I listen to David Deida I would go for a long term relationship. I could potentially attend more yoga/spiritual events to meet more girls that are more open. On the other end there is "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow", which advocates gentle sex without orgasm. I would love to have a girl to try that with, as I enjoy being intimate, the buildup, foreplay and cuddling more than the orgasm.  So the current state of my attitude towards sex is:
I don't care about the orgasm. I enjoy the intimate connection, touching and so forth.  I only want to orgasm with a girl I care about. For me random girls would be a waste of energy. A few months ago I made a "soulmate wishlist". It includes traits like being open, curious, strong feminine core, being interested in me, interested in music, keeping me on edge and creativity. A club might not be the best location to find such a girl. I hope that someone can at least give me some ideas/advice to help me decide in which direction I should invest my energy 

While listening to the most recent video where Leo was addressing some questions and listing a load of things that were an illusion, brains, family members etc, something inside me just broke and the past 24 hours I have been without sleep and have mostly been feeling a sadness so strong that it was also morphing back and forward between fear and anxiety. I got the impression that solipsism is true and there is nothing but me. There were a few short intervals where the depression would vanish and my appetite would come back but it has returned again. I have never felt so low in my life and depressive episodes are rare with me. I just feel that life has had its entire meaning destroyed.
Have I got this wrong because it seems to contradict one of the metaphors Leo came up with where we are like the bubbles in a sponge, the sponge being consciousness and the empty spaces being us. It also seems to contradict what Rupert Spira said about love being the recognition of OUR shared being. Please can anyone offer some deeper insight as I am in a really dark place just now, feeling that I am close to going totally insane.