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Everything posted by electroBeam

  1. Here is an insight I discovered personally for myself. My mind and body doesn't work like everyone's. Its quite different, so this insight may be totally inaccurate for you. There are 2 camps in the no fap movement: the ones who say it doesn't work, and the ones who say it does work. Its a really heated debate, because both camps believe they are absolutely right. Both camps assume that what they believe is true for everyone. Both camps are incapable of admitting that bodies, minds are different, and for some people nofap is powerful, while is totally true for others that nofap does absolutely nothing. I've always been in the nofap is bullshit camp, and for me its definitely true. Nofap does absolutely nothing for me. I was doing some body awareness work today and discovered why that might be, and why nofap people actually get lots of value out of nofap. Within myself, I noticed that fapping (and sex with women) puts you in a state where there is less assertion and dominance and movement in growing kundalini energy, or prana or whatever you want to call it. For me, it puts you into a sedative, peaceful state, like a zen sort of no mind peace. It also reduces your desire to move energy up the spine. Growing kundalini energy, or prana energy is definitely useful and powerful, and if your entire spiritual practice relates to working with this energy, nofap would be extremely important. Yet if you mainly use mindfulness and consciousness techniques that don't rely so much on this energy, then nofap would have minor benefits. Working with such energy isn't really necessary or a requirement for contemplation, mindfulness, letting go, etc. The other thing I have personally noticed, is you can actually draw in energy without semen retention at all. You can draw in energy purely from consciousness. If you're at a vibrational state where every atom of consciousness is buzzing with bliss, then those atoms of consciousness can draw in energy into your system, and using semen is less required. As a corollary to that, I also feel like where your energy work is focused, greatly affects whether semen retention is super important. For me personally, my energy work is always focused in the forehead region. Yet if I was to do lots of energy work and focus it in the sacral region, semen retention would be more important. If I was to draw energy up from the sacral to the forehead, that would require semen retention, yet if I do (what I normally do) and draw energy from the forehead, then semen retention is less required. I'd love to have more deeper discussions about the precise mechanics of the energy system on this site in terms of semen retention. I personally don't think semen retention is either necessary or not necessary, but rather depends on the specific approach you're going about energy work, and different systems could cater for the semen retention route vs non semen retention route. I've never really resonated with the semen retention route personally. For me specifically, semen retention was like putting loads of focus and effort into a certain type of discipline that had no real empirical basis for effectiveness for me. I couldn't feel exactly how semen retention would benefit me, I didn't feel morally wrong for not doing it, I didn't feel like I was missing out or letting myself down. Infact I always felt like the amount of effort I could put into maintaining semen retention, would much better serve me in actual spiritual practices like kriya yoga or meditation, contemplation, qigong - all of which I got results from without semen retention, even though the books outlined it was necessary.
  2. Nice one! When you say semen retention energy, do you mean the sensation of horniness? Or something else? Could you give some pointers as to how I can locate and become directly aware of this energy? Any little exercises you could come up with? When you say it creates consciousness, after ejaculation, the universe doesn't disappear(you don't fall asleep) so is there still semen retention energy even after ejaculation? Or is that an incorrect understanding? Lastly, what's been your favorite learning resources for semen retention and energy exercises that utilizes it?
  3. of course, that's what this thread is about!
  4. You could try many techniques for a few years, more then you've got time for in your lifetime. You'd probably find some of them are way more powerful then semen retention. Yet you've missed out because all the time you could have spent on those techniques, you spent on your semen retention techniques. And that's exactly what happens when you dismiss "feeling it" and do techniques because a guru told you, or for dogmatic reasons, etc. Patience, persistence, letting go of the resistance of doing techniques, having the honest to observe whats actually happening rather then what your ego wants, are all super important. But doing a technique for none other than to do it for years is silly in a timeless universe.
  5. Really Profound Insight All Suffering/resistance is an artificially constructed label that isn't true. ALL SUFFERING/RESISTANCE! Hatred, jealousy, judgement, envy, confusion, dysphoria, low self esteem, sadness, depression, mania, dysfunction, addiction, pain, etc. ETC! The thing our label is pointing to, is literally growth, expansion, movement towards 'higher', movement towards god, movement towards the divine, etc. Suffering/resistance literally does not exist, all that exists is HEALING and GROWTH and MOVEMENT TOWARDS THE DIVINE. Resistance from not wanting to clean the house or pick up dogshit is our artificial label/construct of resistance or suffering or pain + expansion/growth/movement towards the divine. The label of "resistance" or "suffering" or "pain" is problematic, because it contains the expansion. Like a balloon that you're blowing air into. The feeling that the label "suffering" points to gets more and more intense, as the labels keep it from expanding. That's why the more you resist cleaning dogshit, the more "suffering" you go through. Let go of the labels of pain, suffering, resistance, and all of its little minions like jealousy and hatred and addiction. Let them all go completely. As if you don't know what they all mean anymore. And feel what those things are pointing to directly. Because that feeling IS NOT suffering. That feeling is growth and expansion. There is no such thing as suffering. There is no such thing as pain. There is no such thing as not healing. There is no such thing as resistance. All there is, is healing/growth. And your resistance to cleaning the dogshit, and then you noticing that resistance doesn't exist, and that all there is, is healing, is also healing Also... because the universe is infinite, you could let go of stuff forever. Its like zooming into molecules, then you notice atoms, then you notice electrons, then you notice quarks. And when telescopes get more powerful, there will be things in quarks, forever and ever and ever. And that's like letting go, you've always go stuff to let go of. Don't let anyone tell ya that there's this almighty thing called "awakening" where you've completely let go over everything. Because there isn't. the concept of awakening is of the same stature as a conspiracy theory. There always more to let go of, forever and ever. Its literally impossible to completely let go of everything, because there's infinite stuff to let go of.
  6. I just had the weirdest experience of my life. Which is never good to say, because consciousness will make sure you have something weirder in the future. I'm wondering if the sleep dream experts can say anything about it to help me get clarification of it. For the past year (and more intensely past month) I've been having very strange nervous system issues. Very strong paralysis feelings, but according to doctors its all psychological. Sometimes I can't swallow when I want to. about 4 months ago (stopped 3 months ago) every night I woke up fearing that I had forgotten how to breath, and that I was about to suffocate. This fear stopped when it was realized that breathing is an illusion, the universe as a whole is actually cycling energy and that cycling of energy manifests as "breathing". Every lifeform breaths, trees <-> animals cycle is not unique to us, every lifeform does it in a certain way. But then I started having the sensation and fear that I would forget how to move my body. Because I don't even know how I'm moving my body. If I don't know, then what if I forget????? For the past 6 months, whenever I sleep, I feel massive vibrations of energy all throughout the body. And everything dissolves into white light. Then there will be some typical dreams (not lucid). The dreams started to get less and less story like, and the feelings became more prevalent. It was like each dream was a collection of energy going through a purification process, and the story of the dream was just the "smoke" or "side effect" of that purification process. The mind and body just naturally focused on the purification and less of the story. I went to bed last night, and when sleeping, I remember the energy of the body getting super duper intense. And something unusual happened that I can't remember. I palmed it off. I woke up at 5am, decided that wasn't enough sleep, so went back to bed at 7:30am. Then I had a normal dream, but then I noticed that I was in a dream. Yet, this was not a normal lucid dream. The story dissolved and I was in this black "room" or space. Maybe a void. Then the body energy got very very intense and it was like I was falling/drowning into heaps and heaps of energy. A form of non duality that was never experienced before. Then I started to manifest objects in the dream. I manifested an apple, fries, and started eating them. My flatmate (in the waking state) had woken up in her room, and I knew she woke up. I called to her but couldn't because I was in this black room. Then I wanted to leave this black room, but couldn't figure out how to wake up. There was a bit of dysphoria there, because I wanted to wake up but didn't know how. I felt trapped and paralyzed a bit. It was not like I had a body and was freely moving around this room, it was like I was completely formless, had no body and all I could do was manifest objects. I had no idea on how to wake myself up. Then just by using concentration and consciousness, I woke up from the void and I saw a little bit of my pillow, then one of my friends walked into my room and gave me a cactus - and I knew straight away that this was another dream. Then I tried to wake myself up from that dream(just through concentration) and this was quite dysphoric because there was a bit of sleep paralysis now. I had totally forgotten how to move "my body". Or how to inhabit it, as this pure formlessness. And I was like damn I hope im not stuck like this forever, or the next 2 hours. Then I kept trying out different things (through concentration and pure consciousness) and then boom, I moved my arm, but it didn't move the way I liked, so i had to learn how to move it again. Then I started moving over parts of my body, and it was like jelly, I felt like I was moving my arm, but it wasn't my physical arm, it was a jelly soul form of my arm, and I moved it more and more and SNAP! I opened my eyes and shouted "WOO HOO! I FUCKEN MADE IT!" and that was like 5-10 minutes ago lol. This fucken slammed on the head my fear of paralysis. I went full on paralysis and I had to learn how to unparalyze myself. This was the weirdest shit ever. When I was that formlessness, it was a depth of formlessness that I can't replicate on ayahuasca. It was so weird. So bizzare. Ayahuasca is super dualistic and formful compared to this level.
  7. No because my ego was dying hahaha. It brought up a massive lie she had been telling herself for decades over a trauma that happened with her father when she was 3. She wasn't ready to hear that lie. It had nothing to do with realising proteins were imaginary even though that was the intention hahaha.
  8. I took 50cm of san pedro from a friend of mine who is really good at growing cactuses. His cactuses (to my suprise) are 5x more potent then the cactuses you get on ebay. I started tripping and everything got very very one. The present moment was realized to be the entire universe more and more and more. Then I started feeling profound love for the entire present moment. I could feel everyone on the earth, and beyond the earth, and I started channeling love to the entire present moment/universe. Then it dawned on my that my entire quest for discovering reality was just a game I was playing with myself, and that made me feel played/fooled. I reacted a bit negatively to that, my flatmate came in and told me she was looking up proteins and molecules for her school. I told her she was just fooling around, and everything is a game, and stop being so silly. She insisted that I was crazy and that there really was something to the proteins and molecules. Somehow I could see all of her "chakras" and told her "well let me show you how you're full of shit", I focused/concentrated on her form, realized/had a samadhi experience that she was me, then I "injected" realizations of how all of her proteins are imaginary. She started crying heaps. During the trip I just thought this is part of the cosmic play. When I came down, she was still crying and needed a psychologist for a week. Felt pretty back for that.
  9. @Keyhole excellent! That's excellent stuff for me to work through.
  10. Hey guys, few questions over a DMSA/ALA detox: I have been storing DMSA/ALA at room temperature for the past 3 months or so. Which is 10 degrees celsius to 35 degrees celsius (50F to 95F). I just saw that the packaging said to store the tablets below 25 degrees celsius (77F). I've just put them in the fridge yet they haven't been stored below 25 degrees celsius. I unwrapped the packaging of the ALA(not DMSA) to see what was inside. I noticed that there is a large oxygen absorber. I've had these tablets unsealed (with the lid on) for the past 3-4 months. Considering 1 and 2, is it safe for me to do a heavy metal detox with them? Furthermore: a) I'm not even sure if heavy metals are the cause of my problems. I have a huge intuition that detoxing rather than food is gonna provide me with deep health benefits, but I'm not hugely in love with the idea of heavy metal detoxing. I'm also getting urges to try ancient shamanic detox protocols too and not necessarily heavy metals(but also not against it). How do I test the detox to see if it provides benefits without getting too deep into it? My body has been behaving super weirdly for the past 4 months(symptoms of degenerative nervous system diseases) and I'd love to be able to test to see if I get more fucked up before its too late. Did Andy Cutler mention that in his book and I just overlooked it? b) What's the go with taking psychedelics along with ALA and DMSA. I'm aware that SSRI's and psychedelics are BAD(have no idea why), are ALA and DMSA in the same category? The psyches I usually take every couple of months or so is syrian rue (RIMA inhibitor) and DMT. Thanks for the feedback guys! Really appreciate it!
  11. I've tried a bunch of natural based detoxes in the past. My symptoms: 1. Lack of focus/ADHD like symptoms. 2. Short term memory loss and delayed recall of long term memory. 3. Zoning out too much. 4. Lack of speed in solving mental based problems. 5. Motor control deterioration of coordination. 6. Failure to initiate start of motor movements/temporary motor control paralysis. 7. Swallowing paralysis. 8. Cramps(i take iron and magnesium tablets everyday at the direction of my healthcare practitioner) 9. Sore joints and ligaments when moving arms and legs. Issues have been mild past 1 year, but got worse recently(last 2 weeks). Yep been working with a natural health professional for the past month on those issues. Its as far as I can go with them. My brain fog, ADHD, motor control impairment and lack of focus are caused by things beyond the basics. My health professional wants to put me on natural based detoxes, yet I've tried the very ones in the past(without a professional, just following it myself) with no real results and just frustration. Im not super excited by the idea of using a dye for radioactivity to solve health issues, yet I feel cornered to give it a shot as the natural methods arent powerful/effective enough.
  12. My intention in this post is to make a super helpful pointer. I'll see how I go though. What attachment seems to be? Its simple. Its the assumption that some object, state of consciousness, or thing has happiness in it, and if we don't have that thing we are unhappy, but if we have that thing, we are happy. This runs deep, this isnt limited to the fools who chase money and sex. Infinite love realization and states of consciousness are attachments, because if you aint in the right state of consciousness, you aren't happy. It runs even deeper. Unconditional happiness is an attachment, because if you aren't unconditionally happy, then you aren't happy. The happiness is assumed to be in the "unconditional" state. What the world seems to be? The world is a place divided into things that make you happy, and things that make you not happy. We chase the things that make you happy, while avoid the things that make you not happy. This runs deep, we chase altered states of consciousness, we chase attaining unconditional happiness, we chase meditation, etc. In this world there is time, and a future. We plan to get stuff in the future, like attaining enlightenment. Like attaining 0 attachments in the future. We strive towards it. What actually makes you happy? Clearly 0 attachments. But what is 0 attachments? 0 attachments is literally being purely happy. Just being happy. That's it. 0 attachments means your happiness doesn't come from awakening, altered states of consciousness, enlightenment, meditation, psychedelics, insights, knowing how the universe works, pure unknowing, having an ego, having no ego, being self realized, "getting it", telling people whether they are awake or not, telling people whether you're more awake then them, classifying people, judgment, hatred. When do you have 0 attachments? When you are purely happy. That feeling of someone loving you, you achieving something great, a wedding, being in the flow state, etc. There is no happiness located anywhere, or to be achieved in the future, its just there. Purely happy. You aren't awake when you're happy. You're just normal. Everyone can have 0 attachments if they wanted to. Not just awakened or enlightened beings. Everyone has periods of time in their life when they have 0 attachments, even the ones that are the most miserable. The flow state is a great example. So What Actually IS The World Then? The world is a place where you can see what it actually is, or you can not see what it actually is, and be deluded. If there's a rope on the ground, you can choose to see that rope as a snake, or as a rope. By choosing to see it as a snake you suffer. By choosing to see it as a rope, you don't. The world actually is unbounded, completely unconditional happiness. If you don't see that, its simply because you are not looking at the world, you are looking at delusion. And that's the whole game you're playing. Trying to see what the world actually is, and all spiritual work amounts to that. Actually that's not what your spiritual work amounts to, that's what everything you do amounts to. So What Actually IS Attachment Then? We divide ego tricks into lots of different categories and flavors. But the truth is, there's only 1 ego trick that's been playing you your entire life. And that ego trick is, really believing that happiness is located in something. The mourning you go through over the loss of a family member, or over the loss of an awakening(if you've had those awakenings that make you mourn and grieve) or psychedelic experiences, is literally, and only, caused by this 1 ego trick. Its caused purely from the belief that happiness is in something. If you get a thought that says "but that can't be true, because I've felt pain before and it hurts, it can't just be an attachment" ~ notice that the whole reason why you believe that thought, is because you believe there's happiness in it. That's why you're taking that thought seriously. The reason why you take any thought seriously is because you believe there's happiness in the thought. That's literally attachment. That's literally the ego trick outlined above. Real happiness is not contained within any thoughts. It is prior to every single thought. So What Do You Make of This? The game of life is officially complete, when you realize that happiness is prior to everything. Its prior to awakenings, its prior to realizations, its prior to being enlightened, its prior to realizing love. And its prior to every single attachment you have. So Why Is Meditation and Yoga Important? Because meditation and yoga are the only times when you are happy for the sake of it. Not happy because you're in an altered state of consciousness, or because you've reached some samadhi state, or because you're awake, or because you're enlightened, or because you're more awake and better then others. So Why Aren't I happy when its so simple? Because you deliberately, while unintentionally, choose to pick your attachments over happiness. If you had a car crash and lost an arm, and you were resisting the state you were in hard, and I told you to just be happy, you'd say NO! Because you just lost an arm. Its not that you can't be happy, its that you're deliberately choosing not to. Hello, that's why you aren't awake. Hello, you're going to keep going on the spiritual path until you realize that if that happened to you, you will choose to be happy. Because the alternative to that is falling for the 1 ego trick outlined above, and you will not be 100% satisfied in life, and will keep striving for happiness on the path, until you have 0 attachments because that's literally the only game you're playing. You can choose happiness over your attachments. The problem is you don't want to. Your end game is not awakening, infinite love realization, or anything like that. Your end game is flow state 24/7. Whether you're enlightened, a human, a duck, a cat, a retard, a deluded fool, a psychotic person, an insane person, a cu**, someone with a bad history, it doesn't matter what you are, what you want is 24/7 flow state. So What actually IS the truth? The truth literally is, deliberately choosing to be purely happy, deliberately choosing to get what you purely want, devoid of putting that in objects, states of consciousness, awake vs non awake dualities, putting it in the whole idea of non duality, putting it in enlightenment or infinite love or anything else. What you have always wanted, was to be happy, and what you have been doing your entire life, is deliberately choosing not to be happy.
  13. Inspect whether the beautiful, wonderful, estatic feeling of being overwhelmed is being negatively tainted/distorted by a projection of a story being layered on top of that beautiful overwhelming feeling. and whether dropping the story will remove the anxiety and just leave you with feeling overwhelmed.
  14. @Eren Eeager awesome! Sounds to me like during the trip you dropped every thought story and resorted to just being.
  15. That's awesome! Nice work! I'm curious, was there actually an ego getting burnt in your experience? Was there actually horror? What was the burnt feeling like? Can you feel that burnt feeling now? Where was that burnt feeling located? Where did it come from? What does it do? Thanks for sharing, insightful!
  16. Spot on man And that's why my perspective is limited. I'm talking on behalf of people who have to work hard at awakening. Those that have to work less hard wouldn't have the same experiences as me IMO.
  17. @Hotaka That experience you had felt amazing didn't it? The story isn't what made you feel amazing.
  18. Just wanna say absolutely love your poem! And chris martin would agree with ya: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB-RcX5DS5A
  19. Honestly, the only semi-satisfactory answer I could come up with to that answer over the years was the tolerance for suffering was much higher for those who are more ignorant than those who were less ignorant. I believe people who question reality more and take the path seriously, are more severely affected by suffering then their other counterparts. I noticed this in high school. No one wanted to question reality as deeply as me, I was deeply deeply deeply dissatisfied with the idea that there's more that I'm missing and not going for it, almost depressed. People all around me somehow were able to just purely enjoy their life without questioning it. Sometimes enjoying their life, sometimes getting involved in petty fights, yet when I look back at it, I feel like I was more affected by suffering then they were. The idea that I'm way better and less ignorant and wiser and cooler then the people around me certainly makes me feel good, but I'm open to the possibility that other people around me were born happier than I was. In this spiritual community, and other communities, there is a significant amount of people who are depressed or with high levels of suffering. I haven't done the maths, but it seems to me that people are disproportionately affected by suffering more in spiritual and psychedelic communities then the average population. You could even make a convincing narrative that the average spiritual person is a "happiness underdog" because they start out less happy then the average population, yet get happier then them over time. This is the average spiritual person though, then you've got outliers who somehow are just geniuses for absolutely no reason whatsoeva. I've got no idea whats the go with those people, and never will. This is an unenlghtened perspective, I resonate with Nahm on a level of no thoughts for this particular question.
  20. What's your endgoal? What are you trying to do through meditation, contempation, yoga? There's multiple answers out there such as: 1. I'm trying to be happier 2. I'm trying to discover the truth 3. I'm trying to reduce suffering 4. I'm trying to feel more love 5. I'm trying to help others. What are some stuff we do: a) meditation, letting go of thoughts so that we feel more peace and happiness. We strive to let go of the suffering and feel more peace. b) contemplate: try and get to the bottom of reality: what's going on. c) help others so that we feel more happy about helping others. The Observation Disclaimer: this is half baked(like every insight) I'll probs contradict myself in the future. But so is the way of insights. Understanding/Orientation From a non dual perspective, you are God, the entire universe. There's no little you, you're identified with everything, consciousness, love, etc. You don't talk to people, because there are no others, they are you. There is nothing actually separate to you. The end goal of everything you're doing is sharing love to yourself. That's really what it amounts to. Complating or getting to the bottom of the truth, is just sharing love to yourself at the end of the day. Meditating is just sharing love to yourself at the end of the day. Helping others is obviously just sharing love to yourself at the end of the day. Need an example? This post. Mindfuck: Everything people do to hurt you, is just you sharing love to yourself. Abuse, judgement, hatred, bullying, attacking, dismissing, frowning upon, etc. Is all Love, and its sharing it with you. That's why such things happen, those people who are hurting you, are sharing love with you. Can you see it? Practical Steps for other Actualizers: When seeking happiness, helping others, interacting with others, or trying to get to the bottom of the truth, ask yourself "what valuable thing am I sharing to myself or others in this moment?" or "What valuable thing is this other sharing with me?" For the 2nd one, you can even apply it to people berating you. The valuable thing could be a learning experience, a lesson, triggering and revealing some trauma that you can let go of that you otherwise wouldn't have discovered or procrastinated in removing, etc.
  21. bahahaha. That's the silliest strategy ever. Macbook Airs have VERY overly priced hardware. You could get macbook air specs from hp, dell, lenovo, heck build yourself for 50-75% of the price. The only reason why Macbook Airs are valuable in the first place is because you can't run Mac OS easily on any other computer. So Macbook Air is the way to go for Mac OS. Also The Mac operating system is specifically designed for Mac hardware, the kernels use specialized software to speed up the Mac OS so that it runs faster. This is a common Apple strategy, that's why iphones run way quicker then other phones that have better hardware. Windows OS is agnostic, which means it cannot make those hardware optimizations. Macbook Airs only shine with Mac OS. Unless you're willing to forego overly priced hardware and operating system optimizations just for looks.
  22. Probably already posted, but just incase it hasn't been: Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry You don't know how lovely you are I had to find you, tell you I need you Tell you I set you apart Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions Oh, let's go back to the start Running in circles, coming up tails Heads on a science apart Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard Oh, take me back to the start I was just guessing at numbers and figures Pulling the puzzles apart Questions of science, science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me Oh and I rush to the start Running in circles, chasing our tails Coming back as we are Nobody said it was easy Oh, it's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be so hard I'm going back to the start Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh Ah ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
  23. Thanks for your insight. Definitely years ago I've had thoughts about that too, about whether this forum is addictive and a way for the ego to deceive, or whether it isn't. And there's some truth to it. Yet writing on this forum helps me practice helping others in written communication, which helps me practice for my life purpose, and that's the primary motivation of why I'm writing so much. My replies are not just my mentally masturbating, I actually spend lots of effort trying to architect the best reply. If you are irritated from my replies, you can put me on the ignore list: 1. click your profile name at the top right 2. in the dropdown, there is a section called "ignored users", click it. 3. then there is a text box. Type electroBeam into the text box. 4. Make sure you check ALL of the options, so that you don't see any of electroBeam's posts, or personal messages. Thanks!
  24. Public Speaking Toastmasters Professional courses online courses sending videos to people in groups that you're interested in on insights or howtos, etc. Debating Debating groups in university or high school if you're still there. debating on forums like the skeptic forum or this one or other forums where its about getting to the bottom of an issue like facebook groups around political issues. Join political movements and campaigns. If you're in a western country, try lobbying government or get involved in a group that does - this is really powerful.