electroBeam

Yeah makes sense. I just assumed a girl would be like "oh hes physically unattractive, so I dont want to date him" or "oh he wasn't assertive enough so I found him unattractive" in her head while dating me, because im definitely aware of why i dont like someone romantically. But I did totally forget about the whole "girls dont know what they want" mantra when making this question. Though im not quite sure if evolutionary traits still exist. Im naturally very very very selective with who i want to date. I find 1/500 girls attractive and long term material. Its taken me a lot of hard core shadow work to be able to go out on dates and have sex and maybe even possibly a casual relationship with a girl im not attracted to. Ie the average woman. Though im not sure if i could handle a serious or actual relationship with a casual woman just yet, or ever. I must have come across as bitter in my post, but honestly i was just thinking of ways to innovate on pickup and figure out ways to increase skills quicker. Although I do believe that you can improve yourself into someone's heart, if you learn enough pickup. Attraction is a science after all. I would rather them say that they don't find me attractive. At least then I know its not something I said or a family problem or some other problem not related to attractiveness. You must have hacked my phone, because I girl said that to me after dating me for 3 weeks literally 3 days ago. though she wouldn't have said that if I started pickup 3 years ago, because then my ego would have been attractive to her. Again, if i did 3 years of pickup beforehand I would have definitely have gotten her. I can't do anything about it if i dont improve myself.

My current goals at the moment is to get a hell of a lot better at dating women, and also to be a superstar when it comes to my career. But naturally I am not the sort of dude who would be good at these things. I have Aspergers syndrome, have had social anxiety, and am extremely awkward. I cannot just 'accept' myself, as a lot of you would point out. I am so disgraced with my current mental form(being awkward and shy), and my self esteem is so low, that I just cannot do it. Because of my social anxiety, i miss a lot of opportunities to grow myself. For example: - I will see a really cute girl in the shopping centre, and I just can't get the confidence up to talk to her - There is a girl I like on tinder, and i will respond to her, but in a creepy way, because of my awkwardness - I will get rejected for a job, and I know i should contact them to ask my why, but my shyness will prevent me (with self sabotaging thoughts: you are just being a pain to this person) - I will not ask a particular angel investor for money for my startup, because I don't want to upset them. - I'm hesitant in not including certain members in my team for a group project, due to their lack of skill, even if I know that the person isn't the right fit for the team, purely because I don't want to upset them. Whenever something like this happens, I am almost always down for the rest of the day, because I feel like I have let myself down, and that these issues are not issues I should be happening, considering I've been trying to get rid of my shyness for at least 5 years now. Am I being too harsh on myself, or is my guilt completely warranted, considering the mistakes that I am making? If not, what should I do instead? How do I deal with this guilt and shame?

make sure that you ACTUALLY DO like psychology, and that the visions and dreams you have about studying psychology aren't just compulsive obsessions, or a common case of "the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence". I was studying CS, and I thought I h8'ed it. I had this belief that i truly loved consciousness and PD, so I would love psychology. So I switched to psychology, as I thought it was my dream job. Though ironically, and surprisingly, I 8'ed that class as well! Studying psychology is very different to reading about it in magazines. Make sure you have done a class in psychology before you decide to make a switch. Use your electives to obtain this first. You might be surprised with what the class is like!

does it matter if you look weak? Like who cares about what a girl whose not interested in you thinks? And its really hard to figure it out yourself, cognitive biases etc.

@blazed you're blazed with projection. None of what you said is true. Its only the 4th girl ive done cold approach to in 2 months. But anyway if you're not interested in answerimg my question, you're free to fuck off and find someone else to annoy :). This forum is for answering qs not spreading bs. And cold approach is a great way to get married. Its increases your confidence for when you actually find the one, and its a great way of increase you social circle with women (girls are friends with girls)

Say the previous date went well, how long do you wait to text her to go on another day? Some pickup artists say after 24 hours, some say after a week, which one is the most effective in your opinion?

My parents are actually thrilled Donald Trump got in, and want me to move to the US now. If I had the chance, I would move to the US in no time. You keep forgetting that just because Trump is in, doesn't mean America will change that much. As a Chinese proverb stated about the differences between china and the US: "In China, you can change the policies, but you can't change the party. In the US, you can change the party, but you can't change the policies" Trump has signed a lot of executive orders, have you noticed that he is having trouble implementing them? Because the US is clunky and resistant when it comes to policy change.

@Yen277 if you need someone else, count me in too. Personal development is the single biggest thing in my life, and is something I take very seriously.

my intuition did tell me 3 days, and that's what i plan to do. But I do feel as though the longer I wait, the more the attraction she has for me wears off.

@Shane Roberts by posting this question in the dating section, are you giving off the hint that you think intimate relationships need more logic in them? Because I totally agree

This question can probably be generalized to everything, but how do you keep detached, and withdraw from developing feelings for someone, even when you kiss them and hug them? When someone breaks up with you, or when someone lets you down on a date, its more important than ever to make sure that you don't get attached to the person, otherwise big consequences happen. And the more similar you are to them, the harder the attachment is. Are there any ways of keeping detached? Apart from entering the present moment and forgetting about the person?

Detachment doesn't mean not embracing and basking in those feelings, its the ability to bask in those feelings, while not really relying on it to be happy.

@Yen277 I'm the exact same man. Whenever I'm around even best friends, I feel very fake, because I have to be fake in order to talk to them about something. Its like they don't know the real me, and I can't show them because they wouldn't understand it. I honestly don't really feel anything for anyone apart from my immediate family. Don't worry about it. I wish I knew this a long time ago: "you don't need people to feel loved or happy, the only one who needs to love you IS YOU." Use people to your advantage, keep feeling disconnected, fake, superficial with everyone, as long as your doing what your body is aligned with, you will connect with god, and that's the only thing that matters.

when i was about 5 or 6, I use to be able to do this cool thing with my eyes. I use to go to the shops with my mum quite a bit. the floor was short carpet, painted with this light blue, kind of like a beach water sort of blue, and it had these perfectly shaped, dark blue squares overlaying the top of the blue colour. Being bored as fuck, I use to walk with my mum and go cross eyed at the floor, and I use to be able to do this really cool thing: I could make the squares look like they were levitating off the ground. It was like being inside the movie tron, it was soooo cool. I totally forgot about that experience I had as a kid, but I just looked at Leo's stereogram insight, and now realize, what I was doing as a kid was turning the floor of the shops into a stereogram! Cool insight Leo.

@STC who cares, its all an illusion

@ElenaO is watching tv not living life? Just because something doesnt align with your values, doesnt mean the person is less experienced than you. It just means other people's trash is other people's treasure. If you dont like nerds who play video games, thats fine, but making the assumption that he's less than you because of it is purely destructive. I use to hate nerdy friends as well because i thought that they were wasting their life.... until I grew up and realized my values dont determine the worth of other people. You have no idea how much youre stabbing yourself in the foot by doing this.

wont that scare her off as creepy? I read a study that said that women like indirect approaches more then direct approaches to making your intentions known

Yummmm. Intimacy > mindless sex

What do you mean by more experienced in life? Seems like a rather lofty term. I guarantee you that I am waay more experienced than you in playing with computers, rock climbing, etc. But I'm pretty sure women don't really care about that. Osho said once that everyone is intelligent, but are intelligent in different ways. Just because you might seem more 'enlightened' than your partner, doesn't mean he can't teach you some esoteric thing that he is really good at. Honestly, any guy who is at a 'higher level' than you is eventually going to do the same thing as you would and dump you. A highly developed person knows that no one can truly fulfil him, and will treat the relationship as a way of gaining some sort of pleasure through manipulation from it. An honest, kind, inexperienced guy is much less likely to dump you, and be accepting of who you are. But if you don't really care about that, eventually you are going to reach a stage of mental growth, where you realise that relationships are just a form of titillation, and they are going to seem no more fulfilling than eating chocolate.

@Leo Gura 3 objections I have for this video are as follows: 1. you said that you should take everything as a hypothesis, and then test it with empirical data/life experiences BUT what if testing the idea is not feasible. For example, I might read somewhere that money wont fulfill me... I can't just randomly get 1000000 dollars and test it out, I need to just believe it or not. How do I tell if I should believe that though? Any epistemology techniques or something? 2. You said briefly in your video that you need to be willing to bet that everything is possible... but doesn't that mean you might get deluded + you didn't really say at the end of your video anything about how you can minimise that as much as possible. Is there a way? I don't trust my intuition lol. 3. You said that you don't have to research everything, but only have to research what is relevant to your model or your ship, but how can you even tell what that is? Isn't everything relevant? Final question, do you use any philosophical/logical rules to make your research technique more efficient? Or do you consider them traps. You should make a sort a life purpose course, but for how to be a researcher there is waaaay too much in this topic to fully get a grip of what needs to be understood.

make your day job your purpose. I go to university, and I also run a startup. I spend 30 hours a week on studying, and round 32 hours a week on my startup. In society we have this belief that we can't be a full time student, and a full time worker, this is utterly false. I'm proof of it alone, and so are many others out there. In Sweden they only work 6 hours a week, and it was proven scientifically that its actually more productive because you aren't burning yourself out. The trick to running your business while studying, is to spend the first 6 hours of your day working on your business, and the other 6 on studying. Because the first 6 hours of your day you feel refreshed. I wake up at 3am every morning to accomplish this. This isn't being complacent, and this isn't wreckless. I strongly suggest you do this, you only have 1 opportunity to build your foundation.

So when dating, from talking to other people, and from xp, in general 80% of women (and men) believe that men should pay for taking girls on a date. I have several problems with this, and (unfortunately) being someone who is overly emotionally invested in political affairs, I feel extremely uncomfortable with this sort of arrangement. My main reasons are: - I feel like in 2017, women should have the opportunity to be independent, and pay for themselves at least occasionally. It symbolises a sense of freedom, that when they enter a relationship, instead of being restricted to what the man can afford, she can do her own thing to an extent. - I'm already not a big fan of feminism, and for society to claim that women should have equal rights, while still shaming men for not being able to/wanting to pay 100% for a date, feels extremely unfair to me. A classical article, for which I strongly oppose, is this one How do I tell someone I want to date, that I am truely attracted to them, but at the same time do expect financial support in a relationship to go both ways and not just 1 way, when paying for dates, without coming across as stingy or a cheap ass, or possibly turning them off in any way.

I'm reading a book by Osho called the secret of secrets and in this book there is the following except: Just see the contradiction: emptiness and life. Life is male, emptiness is female. Life and emptiness – both are two aspects of the inner God. When you have not chosen either in pre-ference to the other, when you have not chosen at all – you have been just a watcher – you become that God whose one aspect is life and whose other aspect is death, whose one aspect is perfection and whose other aspect is nothingness. THEREFORE WHEN THE LIGHT CIRCULATES, THE ENERGIES OF THE WHOLE BODY APPEAR BEFORE ITS THRONE... And when the light moves inwards and circulates inside your being, because there is no outlet left.... That’s what meditation is. That’s what Buddha is doing under the Bodhi Tree. You sit silently, you close all the doors, and the light circulates within. Then for the first time you become aware of the body and all that the body contains – all its mysteries. This small body contains all the mysteries of the universe. It is a miniature cosmos. I don't understand the bolded part. What is Osho trying to tell us to do in his book? Not get attached to either emptiness or phenomena in our meditation practices? "because there is no outer left" does that mean when there is no attachment left thoughts just circulate aimlessly around and that's good for some reason? A little confused... thanks!

yeah and if you don't appreciate this version of your opinion: I repeat, She does not have to pay. but if She doesn't make the effort, it tells me She is cheap or considers paying for a meal a big thing. its not. It is just a meal, something you consume 3 times a day. Then you are being sexist. Plain and simple. That's Shin's point. But social norms in general are pretty stupid, and they vary drastically between countries. So its just something you need to put up with.

Really?? I think your looking at things too black and white, and simplistic. You need to be nice and mean if you want to be successful. People are egoistical, and if you be nice 24/7, you will get taken advantaged of, simple. That's exactly what happened to the founders of mcdonalds, they trusted, and were too nice to their marketing manager, and he took advantage of them and now owns the entire business. If this dude doesn't fight for his grades, he will potentially get lower grades, and miss out on good job opportunities. In order to be successful in life, you need ethos(a good reputation) and cooperation. ethos requires you to fight for your grades, and to make sure that people don't take credit for your works, and other things you need to fight for on an individual level, and cooperation is working with others. You can't be an extremist either way.