traveler

Yea don't know what to call it really. "Ego death" has so many different meanings by now. It was what people call unconsciousness, but it had a sense of non locatable awareness still, not attached to anything, so no reference point to which the """"experience"""" could be comprehended or even noticed. Seemed like death as I titled it.

I'm trying to open up my chest and throat. Also trying to release trauma with bioenergetics.

They are made into something by the apparent person who wakes up after them. This is it right now. Sometimes it's easier to notice that this is nothing when everything that apparently makes "you" think otherwise, fall away.

I've fainted two times doing breathing exercises, something might be up.

It's self luminous. It's only recognized when the concept of existence arise again. "I" didn't have an experience of nothing, how could you? It doesn't make sense even to the logical mind.

Did I ruin your night?

You're just acting like you are sockrattes and you are doing a great job! Keep it up, or don't.

This is it. This is non-existence. Existence and non-existence are two sides of the same coin called THIS. This can not be comprehended by anything appearing in it!! OBVIOUSLY. Stop grasping at it, you won't get it, because you don't exist! You don't want this. This is so god damn out of your reach, it's a fucking joke. YOU CAN'T GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP! OR KEEP GOING!!!! LOL. Fucking hell it's the joke echoing throughout infinity forever, there's no reason for it whatsoever.

STOP.

There is not free will in that manner. There is a lot of truth in the first part of what you wrote. Seperation is attracted to wholeness like the south pole of a magnet is the north pole. Seperation IS the search for heaven.

There apparently is though. That is the beauty of infinite love. Bathing in itself forever. Going on dream journeys with meaning, excitement, exploration, sadness, joy. Maximizing love. How could it ever be different.

This is the end, this is the never even started.

Nice one ✌

This is true and a very real trap. I am guilty of haven falled into this. The message is not for the individual, it has nothing to offer for the individual. When the individual hears this, it will turn it into a belief, it has no control over this. It becomes a belief like you just said, you can begin to bypass energetic blockages when believing in this. The energy blockage will then get protected by the belief of there being no individual. Unknowingly you walk in a mist of yourself, thinking you're not there when it is opposite to your actual experience. This is of course just happening, but why believe that there is nothing you can do, when the opposite is obviously just as true and just as false.

There is just the purity of what is.

How I see it: The apparent Individual is a self aware/conscious seperate observer of sensation. When pain arises the pain is "my" pain only when it is apparently seperate from you.

You shit, you piss, you drink, you eat, you sit there until the body dies whatever. If there is no one here to begin with, who is it that does this?

The energy is seemingly of an individual person though. This is not known, but it appears known. I did a dopamine detox yesterday and had some clarity on some things. I saw more clearly than ever that life for the person is utterly hopeless. It's a continuous search for fulfillment in the future, a hope for future wholeness. I noticed how often I was stuck in stories of how good the next experience is going to be. Then I realised that it was so empty, there was nothing in the upcoming experiences that would ever satisfy me, everything is temporary and I'm looking for permanence. Then had some realisations today. I was working and had this suffering type of feeling that I sometimes do when I work. I remembered a quote while washing children's toys (I work at a kindergarten): "Life is suffering." There I realised the hastle of life, and for no purpose at all, totally meaningless effort. Then I remembered another quote: "Before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water." Everything is what it is, person there or not. When an apparent person is there, there is suffering, there is a story of how the hastle belongs to me. Without a person there is hastle, but for no one. Whole and unwantable. Just what it is.

It was a joke, but obviously that wasn't obvious enough lol. @Red-White-Light I do appreciate the metaphor nevertheless!

@Red-White-Light I like that.

Is that picture your direct experience???? ???

Lmao got me too ?

@Meta-Man I agree.

I shouldn't say exactly either. Similar is more fitting. I didn't go around trying to wake up people though, I went through most of it in silence. It seems like this would be the case most of the time for your "first death". When you see through the matrix for the first time and all of what you thought you knew gets destroyed. That death has the hardest impact. Many deaths later until death and life evens out. What is left is just what is. Disclaimer:::: there is no rules to this, it's just a story about what apparently happened.

I've gone through exactly what he is going through.