• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by traveler

  1. Appearances are not recorded and stored in eternity's infinite database. All appearance is infinitely unique and empty of substance and reality. It appears and disappears in the same instant. It is "uncapturable"; without reality. So what is happening is simultaneously happening and not happening, it appears to happen but there is no solidity to verify it's existence as "something," no seperation to compare it to. This is just absolutely random and chaotic happening. There is nobody behind it steering it, making it happen.
  2. Sometimes it is very obvious that there is no seperate self, but other times you have to be reminded of the seperate self that isn't there to get that hit/fix of realization. The addiction is actually in wanting to know/see that there is no seperate self, or wanting to know that what is is okay. This search has everything to do with "the dream" and nothing to do with enlightenment. Nothing has anything to do with enlightenment, nothing can be said. Just "enlightenment" Full stop, no description. Every thought that comes after this, are just thoughts. A conclusion in form of a thought might arise and say "oh, yes I see, it is this, it is silence, there is no person" and that is the addiction to knowing that fills/hides silence/emptiness/enlightenment.
  3. I have a hard time conversing with other people as I now have nothing in common with their way of thought. When I look into the eyes of other people, especially people I'm close with (my parents, the few friends I have left), I feel like there is this invisible thing between our gazing that makes it uncomfortable and unfulfilling to interact with them. I'm not sure if it's the big difference in mind states that create this gap, or if it's the judgements and expectations they have of me and I maybe have of them. I find myself seeking alone time a lot, I almost only talk with my parents as I haven't had a job in a long time. These are always really shallow and unfulfilling conversations though. I haven't had real social interactions in a long time, and find myself getting anxious just of the thought of talking with the cashier at the shop. These are not feelings on inferiority and I'm very aware of these thoughts when they come up. I have lost friends, as I have a hard time participating in ego talk. I feel unfulfilled, and that is probably because of the little ego I have left, but It feels like the only positive thing that have come from my awakening experience, was the experience itself. After that I have been living a pretty unfulfilling and detached life. While I write these things I'm aware that all these problems are illusions made up by the ego, that they aren't real, but I always find myself in that loop. Having these problems, then realizing they aren't real and that it is my ego that is speaking and creating all of these problems which gives me some sort of relief for a very short time, then falling into ego again, and so on. When I read posts on this forum it doesn't seem like that many people are fulfilled, but that is just my interpretation of the things I read on here. I would like to now if you are fulfilled? Please be honest. I would also like to know If you have found yourself being more disconnected than connected in the stages after awakening? Also does anybody else find themselves in the same kind of loop, that I mentioned?
  4. Or go through intense awakenings before they get the desire to sleep.
  5. I tried to speak "truth" to one of my friends a long time ago, he had not awoken before.. then when "we" actually realized God in a split second glimpse together, it was terrifying. It was an undeniable recognition of the truth behind the veil, but none of us acknowledged it because it was too real. You can talk about this as much as you want, and you can try to awaken others and act special and all. But when you really awaken, there is no you and him anymore, there is just God. Then you realize how big of a fool you actually were, to think you were more or less awakened than the fool from the bar. I would probably be annoyed if you came into a bar and talked all of this spiritual nonsense. Words are energy. You trying to win an argument with your spiritual crap is the exact same energy as him with his conspiracy crap.
  6. This plane of existence where we live in time and space is not in time and space. We can disappear forever and come back to where we were to begin with, in time. "Forever" doesn't exist in infinity, unless "forever" is identical to infinity. You have to have a concept of time and of being alive for a "forever" to exist. Forever is right now, this is forever, and if you disappeared forever, were you ever really there? Maybe it is backwards: you made forever disappear. The separate me is afraid of dying, when it dies there is no problem, but when it resurrects, oh you bet ya it is going to make a fuss about it. There is no one here, right now, this is the glimpse. The glimpse is a glimpse in to what always is, and this is it.
  7. I was sure I would die or go crazy many times, but never did. I was sure I was going to leave my body and merge into an infinite spiral, but never did. I was 18 when this started happening, I had no clue how to handle it. And I didn't. I didn't handle it, but I sure tried too. It ran its course. Many days, months, years of suffering, trying to escape. Couldn't. No lasting answer from any Guru, teacher or speaker. Fatigued from seeking and doing. Nothing left. No possibilities for escape, totally hopeless. Helpful? No. There is no prescription here, no advice. This will mean nothing to the sufferer but: Suffering is infinite love. We suffer in time, so it feels never-ending. Time feels longer than eternity, after all time is eternity. When we in time wake up from time, we are met with the most beautiful realization. Our whole life was a divine love song. All of our suffering was Love, and we are grateful for all of our suffering. We love it. The suffering feels real, and the fact that it feels real is what is so fucking beautiful about it.
  8. I went through a stage where I couldn't contain my desire to share my insights, I think this is a stage many go through. The "I'm a special spiritual person" stage. If there is no other, who are you sharing the insight "there is no other" with? Our whole life and belief system unravels when we have an awakening, so the only "real" thing left for the ego to hold onto is whatever that was. The awakening itself can be seen to be just as imaginary as everything else we used to hold onto. What we long for the most, but also fear the most is to just be, without grasping at past or future events as descriptions of what is. What is, is unknowable, you do not know it more than the next guy. Most on this forum a fast asleep but convinced they know everything there is to know.
  9. I once had an extremely clear insight at work relating to this. I sat eating my lunch and looked at the clock on the wall. Suddenly it was clear as day that time didn't exist. The clock hands were still moving but it was extremely obvious that there was no time.
  10. The absolute truth is that there is no truth, and that leaves you nowhere. What this points to is the end of that contracted reality. It is the end of the safety of knowing what you are and what this is. It is not what that contracted individual wants, but it is what is longed for. Why can't we imagine what we truly long for? Because we don't know what we truly long for. What was truly longed for was life without "me." It is not an idea or a beautiful experience, it is literally what is, and it doesn't care if you like it or not.
  11. It has no value. It is nothing, as you said... This. Who gives a fuck? It doesn't change anything, it's never been anything else. There is just words, spirituality is a joke, the talk going around on here revealed to be totally meaningless. Everything empty, total equilibrium. Amazing.
  12. Everything is a miracle.
  13. @Inliytened1 @ivankiss spiritual cops ?‍♂️?
  14. Preach?? Chaos appearing ordered. Amazing
  15. Yes sir. Incoming "now what" question. :P.. The problem with these insights is that the "ego" comes back and gives them value. That insight has no value, it is neither a joke or serious. For the "me" it feels groundless and disorienting after such an awakening, it will grasp for ground but grasping for ground is now hopeless. What is left is ????. Untill that dies. Nothing will be left to grasp for, every attempt to go beyond "what is" will be fatigued, and then... Nothing. No where to go, nothing in need to be understood, or resolved. Voila, "Understood the joke" achievement is now unlocked ?.
  16. That is solipsism and a misunderstanding. The human @Thought Art is not the only real person that exists and everyone else are imaginary, no. @Thought Art is imaginary as well. What is pointed to is that there is only 1 existence, there is only one infinite whole. There isn't even 1 existence, because that is a conceptual and dualistic way of putting it. This is the play of God, and in the play of God an apparent separated and limited experience can happen. From that experience is where every teaching or message about this arises, like an alarm clock in the dream. This Is already heaven, the thing that keeps you from recognizing that is you. THIS is it, THIS is infinite and absolute beyond human comprehension, THIS is the kingdom of God.
  17. Loved the vid. The only thing I don't particularly like is when Leo insist/assumes that the listener doesn't understand what he is saying. "I understand that, but you don't understand that yet" is true if "you" is directed to a limited ego mind and "I" is let's say "God." God understands that the limited human being doesn't understand that, but what I am able to do is to switch between the consciousness of God and the limited human mind. It is like the voice of God exists in 2 different domains and gives to different meanings based on what "dimension" you're in. When God awakens everything awakens, when God sleeps or dreams everything dreams. That is why escaping the dream is impossible, because the dream can not be ascended using dream tools and that is all you have in the dream. It is sort of a quantum leap that happens effortlessly.
  18. Wanting to be aware of the "how" is the desire to understand. You're already it right now, there is no need for it to be understood. The need to understand it comes from an illusion that says that you are seperate from it. Reality just is, it doesn't care if there is someone there looking for the "how" or not, it doesn't change anything. Nothing needs to happen, your free to be whatever you wanna be, G.
  19. Those are all thoughts that arises from repressed feeling. Try to sit or lie down and just feel. When you do this a thousand of thoughts will appear, don't push them away, just keep focusing on the feeling. You might not feel something to begin with, but the longer you sit the more intense the feeling will get. You will want to distract yourself to get away from this feeling, but just keep staying with it. Sitting with a feeling like this for a long time will actually transform the unbearable feeling into a whole and warm sensation throughout your body. Most of the thoughts around the feeling will be recognized to be just thoughts, and not true. Do this for as long as necessary, but remember that the purpose of the "exercise" isn't to get rid of the feeling, it is too actually want to let the feeling BE. Treat the feeling as if it has every right to stay as long as it wants and leave when it wants.
  20. @Leo Gura I would have no chance of knowing what you were talking about if not I had awakened to the same truth myself. From the perspective of "absolute truth" there is no person trying to teach another person something. There is just infinity being infinity describing infinity to infinity through a human body. Finding an awakened interviewer is where things could get real fun. A conversation like this one:
  21. Enjoying it right now. Got real lovely at 50 min mark, really resonated. Leo has a beautiful mind that is able to express this in a very detailed way. I enjoy the 50 min mark because this is where Leo is really no more and a pure expression of "this" shines through and resonates beautifully.
  22. There is no "how to." Just effortless imagination. The hand does not need to be understood, the hand is just infinity appearing as a hand. I don't get the fuss? It is so simple. There has to be an imagined separate self to be baffled and to appreciate it, but the full scope of it all is THIS, already, and that can not be realized by a separate self. That is why the separate self is on a continuous never-ending journey. This appearance is the highest form of love: unconditional Love, but the separate individual is blind to it because it is on a journey within the story surrounding the appearance, which creates time and makes this seem real and "dead."