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@Batman coming back from those experiences did feel good and enlightening but I didn’t know how to apply it to my life and ended up feeling more disconnected because I was still living in the “3D”. Now that the path of integration is more clear I am able to take those experiences into my daily life in a different way.

Every time I’ve truly been faced with a loss of everything I think I am, I get scared. Nothing pretty about it.

@OBEler @Razard86 put it well. I think you might be romanticizing the ego death a bit. Difficult psychedelic experiences are some of the worst times I’ve been through. When I didn’t have the proper tools and maturity to integrate my hard experiences it became more difficult for me to move forward in life. Taking psychedelics and having experience after experience without any integration is another form of addiction. When I had an “ego death” there was no controlling it. It just happens and it is terrible.

You don’t want to have an ego death. You might think you do but you don’t. Ketamine is more difficult than psychedelics like LSD and mushrooms ime.

If you’re a life coach, health coach etc did you get a certification? And if so, which program did you get it from? Thanks.

@Michael569 life coaching and I want it because I feel I would get some good stuff on how to be one I think?

It takes time to move along the path. Little by little is the best and most sustainable way imo. Congratulate yourself for how far you have come and for the little things you do that make you feel proud of yourself. You’re doing an acting class and swim lessons? That’s really good. Keep it up.

Society puts a lot of emphasis on “making it” in the sense that “making it” means pursing dreams to the point of being big and famous. It’s just a lie. Pursue your passions because you love them and forget about being famous or “making it”. I remember when I was learning jiu jitsu and I would consistently get discouraged because I knew I wouldn’t be a top player so I would think “what’s the point”. The point is that you love it.

Loren Lockman on YouTube for all your fasting needs.

Stop calling yourself lazy. You don’t need to “do more” to “stop being lazy”. You need to remove the blockages that are holding you back from doing things you truly desire. Calling yourself lazy is one of them. It doesn’t sound comfortable to be in the position you’re in so I wouldn’t say you’re “addicted to comfort”. Of course you want to be comfortable, there’s nothing wrong with that. You want success so you can have more ease in life. That’s a good thing. The forcing and incessant pushing and being so hard on yourself will paradoxically keep you from those goals, as you’ve seen. In these types of situations you need to get back to the hardcore basics and move even more slowly than you have. Do you have unintegrated traumas? You said you’ve tried breaking things up into smaller goals, how small were those? Make them ridiculously small (this isn’t easy, because you might think they’re not doing anything). But make them something that you can be proud of. Depending on your specific situation my advice will differ. What is one small thing that sounds doable to you that you can start implementing? You may even have blockages to doing that and that’s normal.

Only a bit???? Pfff ? Thanks Michael! ?

Miss me? ?

I’ve dealt with this for a long time. During times of stress in my life it was easier for me to be paranoid so be gentle with yourself if you’re going through some shit. Something one of my teachers presented to me is the idea of inquiry vs interrogation. Interrogating ourselves to get the answer is harsh and leads to more and more fears, in life it is better to have a gentle inquiry about things that come up. We don’t have all the answers and that is scary, and so to have a little “hm, I wonder what the answer to this could be?” is a much more kinder route.

When I’ve idealized suicide it’s because life felt like too much and I used it as an escape from those feelings. It’s not a bad thing to feel like escaping, it’s natural to not want to feel difficult emotions. Some of the things that helped me feel less bad about my life were making small changes that allowed me to feel proud of myself. And recognizing that life is hard, and giving myself credit for the things I have done.

I stay away from medication because it will never address the root cause and does not allow for true healing to occur. Being high in anxiety means that you are running in a constant fight/flight state. If possible, try reducing things that are adding to your stressed out state. Things such as reducing your work load just a little, if you workout, do gentle movements, slow walks, time in nature if possible, make it a priority to really truly rest (laying in bed scrolling doesn’t count), social media can add to anxiety, cut out all caffeine, you may need to change your diet (less sugar, more whole foods , healthy fats, quality meat).

This is such a sweet question! Thank you. I would say, expressive

Historically women have been the ones to stay home and raise children, looking after the household. But women have poured their spiritual energy into other things like story telling, witchcraft, creating, etc

I’ve never had any problem with mods on the internet. But I behave myself pretty damn well.

Being yourself does take practice. Of course you are always being yourself but is that self you are expressing coming from a truly authentic place? A teacher of mine taught me that physically grounding helps with authenticity. She also taught me a meditation that calls all my energy back to me. Noticing my feet in the earth and feeling the energy from it moving up into my body. Through that I feel myself able to express in an authentic way.

Herpes is pretty common. It’s not that big of a deal really.

“Calling in The One” by Katherine Woodward Thomas

It’s good you’ve found something that works for you

I’m not saying pushing yourself won’t get you results. And discipline is necessary. But be wise about it. If pushing yourself is causing you stress and anxiety, back off a little. That’s your body telling you something. Maybe you need some loving care in that moment instead. Maybe you need to recalibrate and figure out if you’re approaching things from the right angle. This idea of push push push until you reach your goals is hurting us. We see this all around. Self help culture, while it has some gold, is toxic and it’s hard to see that when you’re swimming in it.

Forcing yourself to do spiritual practices and self help for years on end is not worth it. You will end up harming yourself. That’s sort of the vibe I’m getting from this post. I blindly pushed myself for yearrrrs until I finally started doing some healing and realizing I had been approaching my development incorrectly. There is this idea in self help that you will be happy and fulfilled if you just push through but that’s most often not the case.

Enjoying a drink or two a couple times a week is not bad for your health. In fact, allowing yourself to enjoy some of your favorite pleasures in life will increase your health. It kinda sounds like you’re unsure if you want to quit drinking or not. That’s ok too, you can live in that in between for a little while while you explore that some more and can feel satisfied with your choices.