What is a good relationship?

[BojackHorseman]

I've been married for almost 3 years, known each other for 5.

We get along quite well, are SUPER open about everything, she's very caring with me, I'm more on the feminine side at times and she more on the masculine one in some ways so we seem to complete ourselves.

 

But she's also very cold (not mean but, it's just her personnality, having trouble empathizing besides me and her only friend), and I'm very reactive and my brain can go in every direction about my passions, and she doesn't have any.

Basically a black cat and a labrador.

Lately I'm having longer and longer streaks of anxiety or depression, but to be fair, I had them before the relationship so it's not coming from it (or maybe not all of it).
Part of me is telling me that maybe the stress of being in a relationship that might not suit me can play a role in this.

 

It's weird cause...I also know we love each other, but sometimes I feel like wasting my time cause she's not very passionate about things, or spiritual (not saying I'm any good in that regard, but at least...thinking about it).
Yet...most of the time it's ok, I feel ok? But I can also feel frustrated that maybe she's not getting on the same vibes as I am.

Should she? Is this a lack in a couple? Or should I actually be the one to let go and appreciate the moments of comfort I can with her, and learn to get satisfied with myself?

 

To be honest...I'm 43 and started dating in my mid-30s only, I've met 3-4 persons at that time when I decided to go outside and meet women, so I probably lack experience. The logical thing would be to say "this isn't full working" and go our separate ways and try other things with other people. But I'll be realistic, even if it feels absolutely disgusting to say cause I also honestly love her and don't want to lose her : I'm too old now to meet new people anyway. And if we split and I end up noticing that we were actually fine and I'm missing the relationship, I will have lost everything.

 

What is a good relationship to you? Is it just someone you feel fine living with, that can be open with and appreciate cuddles and sex? Should it go deeper than that?

[Buck Edwards]

Obviously deeper than that. In fact so deep that I wouldn't even thunk of leaving the person ever. They would mean the world. Either I'm all in or I'm just not into it, but no half-ways. 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwQcXggR0Jg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az41hkLie6I

[meta_male]

11 hours ago, BojackHorseman said:

The logical thing would be to say "this isn't full working" and go our separate ways and try other things with other people. But I'll be realistic, even if it feels absolutely disgusting to say cause I also honestly love her and don't want to lose her

Your heart says yes, the mind says no. Fear you're not good enough is holding you back to go after what you think you deserve.

11 hours ago, BojackHorseman said:

What is a good relationship to you? Is it just someone you feel fine living with, that can be open with and appreciate cuddles and sex?

This to me sounds like friends+.