BojackHorseman

Thing I've always had like 4-5 things I'm passionate about up to the point I'd want to make it my whole life, but now that's gone...I have never had the qualities to direct a business. I'm too air-headed for that. I don't seem to have the patience or strength for art anymore (that is, beside a bit of playing here and there but never finishing things). My hobbies I still do, but they seem to tire me more quickly than before, I jump from one to the other but never find the practice of those as nice to do as the idea I have in my head or the memories I had from my past.

I have been recommanded medication (sertraline), but due to huge medical anxiety, makes me afraid, knowing there are frequent secondary effects. And, further than that, some people do seem to regret taking them (or other mediction for depression, anxiety or whatnot), cause they didn't felt like themselves in a way to put it simply. Plus hard to get off those I belive? But also, I fell like 1) it's me giving up and being lazy on solving my life And 2) putting a band aid on a broken bone and not actually fix the problems. Kind of like numbing myself to make me believe my life is ok, when there's still (probably) something deeper I need to understand about why my life makes me that unhappy (I am probably hiding something from myself or not realizing my lifestyle is totally wrong for me or something) Sorry, I know the usual answer for depression is "take your medication", so I probably sound very annoying and stubborn (which I am)

My need for success is dead (I gained a bit of fame this past month on social media and it doesn't even feel good so what was it that I wanted this whole time when thinking about this? Also I don't even feel like doing art, I never had anything to say, my brain doesn't work). My need for love too. I barely even want anything. Nothing, even my former passions, feels good for more than 30 mn anymore (and even then I'm still kind of detached) What the hell do I do now? I was wondering if screens weren't playing a role in all of this. I'm basically spending my life on those. But then if I give it up even entirely, what then, read books? Isn't this also just another for of escapism, or being with myself only? Maybe then I become smarter? For what? I don't care about humans anymore. This feels terrible. No desire is the worst. I don't even want to numb myself anymore. I want to be stupid and insensitive.

Bad in a way, I rarely wake up refreshed, and when it happens, my batteries run out quickly, been like that my whole life Doc made me do some test, last one left is for sleep apnea, appointment in...one year I know, but lately it's getting worse and I feel like I have no desire for literally anything

Feels weird to me But I know realistically that's the best chance at this Sadly I don't think so There's also another problem currently (she wants kids and I don't) which is making me question how the relationship is still working, but we do like each other and despite concluding that the only thing we could do is divorce since I'll probably never change my mind about kids, it's so hard to split and none of us wants to do it. I know this is ridiculous...) 44 yes yes (but less than before)

Not sure how to answer this right now cause my brain is mush and my english is bad, but I was never very material or scientific at all Very air headed, emotional, passionate, mostly about art, I guess that's the big picture?

I started dating veeeery late (35) Then got married Now I regret a bit not having had more expérience with women, but even if I wanted now, I couldnt anyway I'm old, not very attractive or outgoing and had a terribly flat life. But I cant help but feel those feels. I love all women, am attractif to all of them. I Ish to have sex With a lot of different women, experience mant strange kinks (some that I did already), and, a bit more shameful, I regret that I will never be able to have sex With young women And this hurts me a lot, because since I was a virgin and alone up until 35, I actually never experienced being with a young woman. Am I just a dirty old pervert that shoumd shir up and has missed his life? I can't help but feel immense regret, that goes further than just sex. This seems stupid but is a huge burden to me and I'm not sure how to fix it.

It is. No question. And it should be freeing. It sometimes is and was up until a certain point. But now it's driving me crazyer everyday. I could try and change my lifestyle. I could divorce, meet new people, find a new activity, but I don't care. What would it change? Humans interactions are always the same. I feel like I've reach the end of my interest for life. But I don't even want to kill myself. So I'm just stuck in this body with no purpose and I don't think I even want one anymore. It feels so bad that I kind of want to try anything to stop feeling like that, but I don't know what to do. I'm going to see a psychiatrist for the first time in life very soon but I doubt he can teach me anything about myself, and I don't want meds cause I have terrible medical anxiety and just thinking back about everything that can happen when taking meds for depression/anxiety/adhd/autism or whatever it is I have, is borderline starting up panic attack in me. Also so many people saying they felt like zombies, they're better off without meds etc. Plus if I get meds as a patch over my wound it doesn't fix the wound. Something must be wrong in my life but I can't figure out what. Or maybe not. Maybe my brain isn't working correctly. Not sure how anyone can help. I'm just desperate (again, but worse every time)

Certainly But I think some tech do have bigger potential than other to change our lives This could easily be one of them, more than crypto (not dissing it tho)

I am dumb but that's not the point. You didn't seem to read my post. But I'll clarify. I was saying to give up if AI scares you so much that you can't find a way around it. Obviously the intent is not literally asking you to give up. It was formulated that way to shake you up instead of complaining that AI is stealing jobs. I also did make the distinction between commercial art and non-commercial art. But anyway. I people to truly love art will find a way of doing it anyway. I'm not worried. It might just become harder. But who cares. It will be very interesting tho to see how humans, and and their art, will end up adaptating around these inescapable changes There are still many different outcomes possible.

No such specialist in my country But To be honest I don't think the video game addiction is actually my deeper problem It's just used to cope, avoid, not feel or be lazy If it wasn't video game, it'd be something else I don't think video game itself is worse than watching movirs or whatever. It's more about... How do I live this experience and Hats around it in contrast

It's very weird for me, I do manage at times to be healthy by dropping bad addictions and implementing good habits, but usually it doesn't last more than...one month? And after that, the backlash can be pretty fucking long and harsh. For example last month was perfect. Exercise 5 days a week, started reading again, not a single unnatural thing in my stomach But here I am today, barfing on my third croissant today and playing fucking Overwatch mindlessly AGAIN (I had manage to uninstall it for maybe 5-6 months and it felt good. When I was not doing something more productive than video games, at least I was playing newer solo experiences instead of playing an ego motivated competitive game) Sometimes I fear I'll never be able to drop this kind of cycle. It might be a bit too late for that. Maybe some people are just here to be fed and I should stop thinking that I can fight in one way or another. Or maybe my brain has been destroyed by a childhood and years and years of adult hypnotic addictive content. But even if I admitted that I'm jsut an addict, I tried to fight that as far as I could, but still, here I am. Not sure what else I can do.

I do love ASMR but I gotta admit that I only watch asmr from women and I'm not attracted by male doing it. Now, this could be a purely esthetical choice in termes of sound, like, I also prefer female singers just because it's, if you consider the voice as a musical instrument, and if you average things, kind of liking the "female voice instrument" more than the male one, which is not worse than prefering a saxophone to a tuba. But I also suspect that there is some form of lust and horniness in me liking female voices better. Or typical sounds produced usually more by female than males (long nails tapping, female shoes asmr...but I'm kind of a feet/shoe fetish so...I mean it doesn't give me an erection to listen to this kind of asmr. Uuuh sorry, thinking out loud and trying to understand if there's more to it than just being horny and feeling intimate with a women in some way haha)

AI is a challenge. Learn how to fight it with your art. Or give up art. Or don't try to fight on a commercial level, and just do art. Whatever everyone is crying about will still happen. Adapt in one way or another.

I'm discussing cold facts, but the answer really is only what actually works for each individual in the end And the more I talk about it, the more I think doing a bit of each, paper and ebooks, might be the better way, I should really stop being so extreme and think that I have to tend to what the absolute best is supposed to be. But that was an interesting exercise to think about it/