Advice regarding my recent approach

[Princess Arabia]

I'm finished with this conversation, so no worries about how much longer it will take on my end. 

[mr_engineer]

10 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Why are you refusing to look at the contents of the original post instead of generalizing. Asking for a friggin pic of inside your home is asinine and will evoke a response that's not in your favor. Cutting ties with someone because they made you feel a certain way is not blaming them for your feelings, it's called taking responsibility in removing yourself from the conditions that caused those feelings. You're implying that one doesn't have the right to invite or un-invite whatever it is that they presumably regard as a threat to their safety without causing any outside disturbance and retreat within to protect their unwanted feelings. 

It's not the external conditions that cause the feelings, it's the way you're interpreting the external conditions that cause the feelings. You're interpreting it based on paranoias like 'What if he's unsafe? What if he does this?! What if he does that?!', even when he didn't actually do anything wrong/illegal. 

When you think that someone is a threat, do you have data-points to back that up?! Or is it just a 'presumption', like you said?! If it's just a 'presumption', then if you're cutting him out, it's pure paranoia on your part. 

Figure out ways to check for whether he'll do that or not, before you share the information! That's how you protect yourself. And, learn to give a chance to people. That is, if you want to end up with someone. If you don't want to end up with someone, then the solution is to remove the person from your life, not to solve the problem with them in your life. 

10 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

The OP certainly felt some type of way himself or he wouldn't have made the post himself even though not once did he condemn her, but you're not saying to him he is ALSO responsible for his own feelings and that he shouldn't have blamed her for how he felt after she blocked him from Instagram. 

He didn't talk about his feelings. The question was 'Why did it happen and how do I prevent this from happening in the future?' 

My answer is - before asking her out, check if she's feminine. 

Edited March 1 by mr_engineer

[mr_engineer]

31 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I'm finished with this conversation, so no worries about how much longer it will take on my end. 

 

[sda]

@Consept

Yes, the problem is solved. I got the advice and I will never ask anyone photos going forward. Thank you for your advice.

[mr_engineer]

@sda If I were you, I would take their advice with a grain of salt. For two reasons: 

• They resorted to name-calling and demonization. They demonized you, using a word that implies that you are unlovable. 
• They only told you what not to do. It was a 'don't do this'. Did they tell you what to do instead?! Nope. Why?! Because they don't know what they're talking about, they don't know what you should do instead. 

Here's what you should do instead - find someone who operates in relationships from a space of love, not from a space of fear. That person will love you for who you are. 

Edited March 5 by mr_engineer

[Princess Arabia]

40 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@sda If I were you, I would take their advice with a grain of salt. For two reasons: 

• They resorted to name-calling and demonization. They demonized you, using a word that implies that you are unlovable. 
• They only told you what not to do. It was a 'don't do this'. Did they tell you what to do instead?! Nope. Why?! Because they don't know what they're talking about, they don't know what you should do instead. 

Here's what you should do instead - find someone who operates in relationships from a space of love, not from a space of fear. That person will love you for who you are. 

This is why you have no merit. I went back through this thread and saw multiple responses suggesting what to do instead, including my own. I stopped at the second or third page. I saw enough. 'Also except for a video entitled creep, I didn't see where he was either called a creep or was demonized.

Edited March 5 by Princess Arabia

[mr_engineer]

2 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

This is why you have no merit. I went back through this thread and saw multiple responses suggesting what to do instead, including my own.

You said that 'asking for a kiss or a hug would have been better received'. There's no guarantee of that, prove it. 

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

'Also except for a video entitled creep, I didn't see where he was either called a creep or was demonized.

The word 'creep' itself is a demonization, a personal attack. 

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

You said that 'asking for a kiss or a hug would have been better received'. There's no guarantee of that, prove it. 

The word 'creep' itself is a demonization, a personal attack. 

Why do you like to pick the pieces out that serves your agenda. I wrote a response with about 3 paragraphs making suggestions. It is more common for kisses and hugs to be a request than for family pictures and pictures of inside your home. As long as you're not forceful. Since all my years of living, I've never been asked for those kinds of pics from a man, but i've had countless requests for kisses and hugs, and i'm sure that's the case with most women. I also said the least she could say is no. I'm not going to argue with you anymore in this thread - I did enough of that already here, I just wanted to point something out to you.

Edited March 5 by Princess Arabia

[mr_engineer]

2 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Why do you like to pick the pieces out that serves your agenda. I wrote a response with about 3 paragraphs making suggestions. It is more common for kisses and hugs to be a request than for family pictures and pictures of inside your home. As long as you're not forceful. Since all my years of living, I've never been asked for those kinds of pics from a man, but i've had countless requests for kisses and hugs, and i'm sure that's the case with most women.

Depends on the culture. 

So, you judge men based on whether they adhere to social-norms or not, and not based on what you actually like/don't like?! Kay, fine, that's all I need to know.