Any form of mental stimulation makes me feel uneasy/depressed.

[ZenAlex]

I've been trying to figure out my depression and anxiety for many years. Although I feel at times I've had it under control, I notice that a lot of the things that used to give me joy I avoid now because it just stimulates an anxiety response/depression rather than joy.

My depression/anxiety issues started randomly about 9 years ago and I've never been able to make much sense of them. 

I tested a theory out regarding stimulation - PLEASE READ. 

A couple of years ago - I meditated/sat for about an hour to calm my mind, then went for a 3 hour hike, and after 2-3 hours my mind would be very peaceful.  I came back from that walk at peace. As soon as I got home I started listening to music like rock or trance music, stuff that emotionally/mentally stimulates you, and there was a brief moment of enjoyment and remembering how music used to make me feel all those years ago, but then the feelings of uneasiness and depression started to kick in after a few minutes and the music just starts to make me feel bad. And I'd feel a lack of peace for the rest of the day. The type of music is largely irrelevant, whether it's negative or positive music. Although ambience music/peaceful music seems to be low stimulation and has a calming effect rather than an emotionally stimulating effect, so I started listening to more of that because it didn't trigger the anxiety.

It seems in my current state, anything that stimulates my brain significantly triggers depressive/anxiety feelings, and this probably why I started to enjoy walking/hiking so much because it de-stimulates the mind, but I'd have to dedicated hours and hours to it to get the desired effect.

Could it be a damaged central nervous system?

Could it be clinical depression/anxiety? Why does my brain/mind respond negatively to stimulation now?

The only things I've been able to really enjoy over the last several years are things that have a calming effect on me like hiking and ambient music. 

[Raze]

try ifs therapy and positive psychology exercises 

[mmKay]

@ZenAlex Interesting. I doubt it's the music what's triggering it though. I'm almost absolutely certain of that.  What you're sharing usually happens if you have pending and unresolved problems and are not adressing them, whether mentally or by taking real life action.

physical exercise is known to be powerful for coping with anxiety and clinical depression, so it's normal that walking helps you out.

So what's on your mind?

[Schizophonia]

Sex, music and highly stimulating activities like that suck your life energy.

You can have low vital energy due to chronic stress but you can reverse it with more rest, high quality food, being social (having fun with people is great for that, even if you are "introvert"), kinds of yogic/meditations/breathwork practices, work/religion and devotional works in general...

 

 

Edited February 21, 2024 by Schizophonia

[CoolDreamThanks]

maybe you are getting wiser and realizing that mental stimulation in this world is poison to your mind.