How to deal with long illness?

[Verg0]

I have been sick for over 7 weeks now. And it's deeply affecting all areas of my life. 

It started as some heavy caughing, I just stopped all physical exercise and went on with everything else as normal, thinking it might go away. 

It slowly got worse until I realized after 3 weeks that I might need a complete break from everything (which was very hard to accept as I am in the proccess of starting my coaching business, which I loive doing and am very very excited about).  Symptoms were Caughing, Nose blocked, Neusea, Heavy dizziness and just feeling endlessly weak and sick to the core of my being. 

 

Took a complete break from everything for over a week. Didn't got better. 

Mind is cycling from anger/victimhood to respnsibility to acceptance and back again. 

Week 5: Went to a doc. Taking antibiotics for 10 days now. Still not any better. Symptoms are changing though. 

Now there is still caughing, nose even more blocked, heavy headaches, infinite weakness and still thi sunderlying feeling of just being incredibly ill. 

Did some tests (Blood, Checking the lung, vitamins etc.) Everything seem to be fine. I am taking Vitamin C, D3, Zinc, Magnesim daily, and some other stuff occasionally. 

 

I am back to do a little bit of work, maybe 10-20% of what I usually do. Taking walks, sleeping a lot, eating healthy. 

 

But I have to say, it is very difficult. It has been going on for what feels like a very long time. (Blessings to all who are dealing with much more difficult chronic health issues, now I have a bit more compassion towards people who are dealing with stuff like that). 

Besides all the spiritual practice, it lowers the joy I am able to experience. Freindships are affected by it. Work is affected. Mental health is affected. 

 

"Pain is inevetable, but suffering is a choice" - I would love to embody that insight more, but I realize that it takes a very very high degree of conciousness when the body is so deeply involved. 

 

I wanna keep showing up for coaching conversations fully, which takes a lot of energy and it is very hard for me to cancel all these converstions as I just got my first paying client. How do I balance that? 

I wanna keep on working, at least a bit, as doing nothing (which I have done 1-2 weeks) feels very very boring and is effecting my mental health more than it should. Also I am going through a diffcult phase in my realtionship at the moment (she decided to take a break), which is more difficult to deal with when I cannot distract myself with work. 

 

Overall it just feels like is is slowing me down to a degree which is very uncomfortable to fully embrace and enjoy. 

 

Any practical advice on what to do / how to change my perspective into a more beneficial one or how to move forward? 

 

For the next steps I was thinking about cold/hot exposure, Kambo or traveling to a warm country. 

 

As to where it might be coming from I am thinking back to my spiritual crisis from a few months ago, caused by MDMA + 5-MeO-DMT. Since then I have been almost constantly sick. (Before I have not been sick for over a year). Just an interesting observation, might have nothing to do with it. 

[FourCrossedWands]

The last time I was sick for over a month, I was having throat pain and doctors said they can't find anything. I literally had to force my doctor to prescribe me some antibiotics as she didn't want to. The pain was gone after 2 days of tbe antibiotics treatment. It was some type bacterial infection.

[Yimpa]

7 minutes ago, FourCrossedWands said:

I literally had to force my doctor to prescribe me some antibiotics as she didn't want to. The pain was gone after 2 days of tbe antibiotics treatment. It was some type bacterial infection.

That sounds like a terrible relationship if you have to force your doctor to do something for you. Change your doctor.

[ZenAlex]

There are so many  bad doctors out there dude.

[Verg0]

Sorry, somehow this post landed in mental health. It would fit more into the general Health section of the forum. 

[CoolDreamThanks]

Use it as a motivational fire to awaken. See that your illness is just one of the many ways you suffer and realize that it will never end if you keep living the way everyone is. Have some compassion towards yourself and decide to finally wake up out of this nightmare you've been dreaming for, probably, the thousandth time.  

Look at it this way: you've probably suffered as much as you are suffering now 10,000 times before. You just don't remember, that's how dreams work. Don't you own it to yourself to do something about it? And you can wake up if you really want to, so use this suffering as the fire under your ass that makes you get up and leave this human domain forever. Gl.

[Verg0]

@CoolDreamThanks Thanks. That might be a way to see this challenge as an opportunity. 

Still in this very dense state, it is easier said than done. 

Eventhough realization is just a perceptual shift away, the actual attachment to physicality is immense. 

I'll still try to sit with what you wrote. Thanks.