Soulmate

[Buck Edwards]

Sexual wellness products industry is a billion dollar industry now. Although I think  it is a scam. 

Came across this video from the yoga institute on sexual wellness.

I came across some Ayurveda videos on sexual wellness. 

Pigeon pose lol. 

 

This Ayurveda dude is funny. The way he explains sex. Lmao. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

What's sexual wellness exactly? 

I think If you got a healthy sex drive that's just more than enough. 

I thought of sex as something I would use for validation. To amp up my self confidence. 

And soon enough it became a drug. My horniness skyrocketed. I was horny all day long. 

Then I began to control all that unnecessary energy. It has a high and a low followed by extreme exhaustion. It felt good. Like a tremendous boost to my self confidence. I felt like an animal in heat. 

Then it got addictive. I couldn't feel normal without that validation. I had to feel horny and amped up to feel good inside. To feel desired. To feel relaxed. 

I had to get off that curve for good. I don't deny sexual energy. But it's only enough when you truly meaningfully want to engage it. I can say confidently that sexual energy does work though as evidenced by numerous experiments I did in that department (with myself of course). 

There's a point beyond which it needs to be flattened and balanced out. It does serve a purpose. Of making you feel enormously better when you're down. It generates euphoric energy. It generates critical energy too. This is due to the inherent tension or chasm. You feel that kundalini when you reach peak sexual point, sort of mixing of feminine and masculine and a volatile fusion of both. 

[Buck Edwards]

How to know when to stop? 

Sexual energy is like dopamine. It takes on a  life of its own. If not managed or disciplined, this kundalini can go out of control into the hell fire of hedonism. 

You gotta stop or leave gaps in between. Short gaps. Long gaps. Anything. Hose it down. The key is to detect the desperation for it. If there's desperate horniness it's time to stop. Let the horniness be organic. It will come on when it has to. It doesn't have to keep lingering. 

Think of horniness as some perfume or cologne you put on. If you put on too much, you automatically get sick of smelling it all day. If you don't put on at all, you feel eager to spray some. 

When you are constantly horny, you're really overdoing it. When you hose it down and pull back, you are naturally organically craving a bit like a special hour. Those times your sexual energy is peak point, your kundalini is balanced, the sacral Chakra energy I mean, and your mind is producing the most normal innocent porn. It also doesn't drag on too much. It's over quickly. There's some romance and that's it. When it begins to feel like a drag, that's the right time to put on the brakes. Post nut clarity sort of a thing. 

I guess you allow that kundalini to keep depleting. And it's getting stale. And you keep pumping even through this stale energy. It's like eating a stale breakfast and trying to make the most of it. 

But let the kundalini fill up again. Let the barrel be restored. Now use this fresh kundalini for sexual energy. Now you're having a fresh breakfast. How does this work? 

Your fresh kundalini is like fresh timber. Fresh fuel. Think of Kundalini as a fire accelerant. 

Edited February 29 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

47 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Your fresh kundalini is like fresh timber. Fresh fuel. Think of Kundalini as a fire accelerant. 

Continuing with this. Think of kundalini as a fire accelerant. What happens when you don't use one. It takes time for fire to start and spread.. Sometimes you don't even achieve ignition. That's exactly the kind of daft energy you're working with when you are engaging stale sexual energy to kickstart your masturbating or horny times. You are literally dragging, not running, not exploding. Working with a wet matchbox. With wet wood. Trying to start a fire in a storm, rather unsuccessfully and it is constantly being put out by the strong gust of wind. And with wet wood, your chances of a strong flame are next to nil. But if there was sufficient oxygen with fresh and dry firewood, hay and campfire accelerants, you get to generate intense flames. The heat is exponential. Now it's worth basking in it's warmth. The fire spreads quickly and lasts longer. 

Same way. When you are pumped up with kundalini, your sexual energy is innocent and revved up, ready to roar. You experience a burst of sexual attraction and hunger. Your energy reaches peak point and your cumming is non stop followed by a huge bout of oxytocin and release of endorphins. The end result is solid gratification. Mental and otherwise. Post masturbation you feel mentally much more balanced and calm and regression of negative energies. Euphoria and an injection of masculine drive. There's transference of masculine energy in this process. Not just sperm. There is release of feminine energy like being surrounded by water and transference of masculine energy like a lightning bolt. The feminine energy is calm and increases intuition and emotional intelligence. Whereas the masculine energy increases drive, confidence and strength to push forward. This causes the production of karmic energy. The energy that is used to fuel inner instincts, both masculine and feminine. Kundalini is upgraded during the process. 

During each of these processes, kundalini gets upgraded. Because Kundalini is the energy of fusion and every time the fusion happens, the kundalini is solidified to the next iteration and the next and so on. 

Basically kundalini solidifies and crystalizes. At every iteration.. Getting thicker and thicker. Bolder. Better. Karmic energy stronger every time this happens. 

Then when kundalini rises, there will be massive explosion. 

 

Edited February 29 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Think of kundalini as two snakes. Snakes are called nagas in Hinduism. 

 

 

The closest I came to kundalini experience was the experience of two snakes.

A feminine snake and a masculine snake. And the explosive fusion of these two snakes while spiraling upwards through the Chakras. 

 

 

Kundalini rising through the Chakras. 

Both energies complimenting each other perfectly as they rise through the Chakras and eventually get solidified as they reach their peak.

 

[Buck Edwards]

Basic senses. 

basic human senses: touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste

I think many more senses need to be added to this list. 

I'll say - sexual sense. Soulmate vibration. 

I'll say - lower vibrational energy. Higher vibrational energy. 

Intuitive sense. 

Emotional sense 

Cognitive sense. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

What's on my spiritual project radar currently? 

Lot of things. 

Link between sex and spirituality. 

Tantric sex. 

Energy and vibration work. 

Chakra work. 

Yoga. Basics. 

Exploring religions. 

Soulmate Energy and using it in life. 

 

 

 

Much of my work for the rest of my life henceforth will focus on energy and vibration work. Also sensory work. 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Also I wanna do psychedelics and improve my focus entirely in the spiritual domain. Something I have been doing for years now. Since the age of 9.

 

[Buck Edwards]

I want to be a permanent Shiva worshippper. I'm so excited. 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

     Shiva is my Soulmate     

 

 

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

Shiva is my Soulmate 

I was anxious the whole time and I was just listening to this Shiva song. Amazing. It relieved my anxiety. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

Meaning of the mantra song Har Har Har Shambhu Shiv Mahadeva 

 

 

Lyrics of the mantra song Har Har Shambhu Shiv Mahadeva. 

This whole mantra song is a compilation of Shiva Strotams. 

 

Main verse

Har-Har Shambhu (Shambhu), Shambhu
(Shambhu), Shiva Mahadeva Shambhu
(Shambhu), Shambhu (Shambhu), Shiva
Mahadeva Har-Har Shambhu (Shambhu),
Shambhu (Shambhu), Shiva Mahadeva
Shambhu (Shambhu), Shambhu
(Shambhu).  Shiva Mahadeva

Meaning of main verse - 

Har Har is a salutation like "Hail."

Shambhu and Mahadeva are alternate names of Lord Shiva. 

Verse 1

Karpura Gauram Karunavataram Sansarsaram Bhujagendraharam
Karpura Gauram Karunavataram Sansarsaram Bhujagendraharam

Meaning of the verse 1 - 

White As Camphor, Incarnation Of Compassion, The Essence Of The World, The Necklace Of The Lord Of Serpents.
White As Camphor, Incarnation Of Compassion, The Essence Of The World, The one who wears the snake as a necklace. (the snake necklace is called vasuki). 

Karpura gauram– The divine one, who is white as Camphor / pure as camphor. 
Karpura/Karpur is camphor. Lord Shiva is described as "white as camphor" which is implied as "as white as snow/camphor, as pure as snow," white denoting purity. 

karunavataram– who is an embodiment of solicitude and compassion

sansarsaram– The true spirit of the universe

bhujagendraharam– The one who draped the serpent around his neck, the one who wears the snake (as a) necklace. 

Meaning of the verse 1

Oh Shiva, you're divine, White as camphor. You're the incarnation of compassion. You're the essence of the world, the ruler of the world. You're the one who wears a snake as a necklace. 

Verse 2

Sadavasantham Hridayaravinde Bhavam Bhavanisahitam Namami
Sadavasantham Hridayaravinde Bhavam Bhavanisahitam Namami

Meaning of verse 2 - 

You (Shiva) are the one who always resides in the lotus of my heart. 
I bow to you my lord Shiva and your wife Bhavani (reference to Paravati wife of Shiva) 

Sadavasantam : Always residing. Hridaya arvinde: In the lotus of the heart. Bhavam Bhavani: Oh Lord and Goddess (Sati: wife of Shiva) Sahitam Namami: I bow to you both.

Context - Who is Goddess Bhavani?

She is an aspect of Parvati the wife of Shiva, and she is considered to be a mother, who provides well for her devotees as well as playing the role of dispensing justice by killing Asuras or demons. 

sadavasantam hridayaravinde– one who resides in the heart that is pure as lotus (though lotus is born in mud, it stays untouched by the mud). In the heart that is untouched by worldly matters.

bhavam bhavanisahitam namami– I bow to Lord Shiva and his companion/consort Goddess Bhavani (Goddess Parvati’s form).

Meaning of complete verse 1 and 2 - 

Lord Shiva, who dwells in my heart along with Mata(mother) Bhawani, one who is white as camphor, one who is the manifestation of compassion, one who is the essence of the universe, and who wears the king of the snakes (Vasuki) as his necklace, I bow down to you.

Verse 3

Saananda Maananda Dhabane Vasantham Ananda Kandam Hrita Paapa Brindam
Saananda Maananda Dhabane Vasantham Ananda Kandam Hrita Paapa Brindam

 Meaning of verse 3 - 

Sananda Maananda Dhabane - in the 
Sananda Maananda Dhabane Vasantham - bliss and joy in the spring of the forest

Ananda Kandam - the stalk (the stalk of a flower) 

Hrita Paapa Brindam - you're the ultimate destroyer of a host of sins

The joyful tuber growing in the forest of joyful joy

Lord Shankar(Shankar is another name for Shiva), who resides blissfully in the region of Anandavan (Anandavan is in Kashi, a holy place)  who is the source and root cause of bliss, and who is the destroyer of sins. 

 I go to the shelter of  Shri Vishwanath, the lord of Kashi  the lord of such orphans. The lord of Kashi is Shiva. Shri Viswanath is Shiva. 

You're the joyful tuber growing  in the forest 

Meaning of - 

Sananda Maananda Dhabane Basantam Ananda Kandam

You're the joyful tuber growing  in the forest 
You're the joy in the spring 

Hrita Paapa Brindam - you're the ultimate destroyer of a host of sins

Meaning and context - 

Sananda Maananda - bliss joy 

Dhabane Vasantham - forest and spring 
Vasantham - spring 

Ananda - joy
Kandam - stalk of a flower 

Brindam - a host or collection 

Hrita - the ultimate, the king

Paapa - sin/sins 

Meaning of the verse 3 - 

Meaning of the verse 3 - 

Shiva, 
You're the joyful tuber growing  in the forest 
You're the joy in the spring. 
You're the stalk or the source of bliss. 
you're the ultimate destroyer of a host of sins

Verse 4

Varanashi Naatham Mu-m Mu-m Natham                            Shri  Viswanatham Saranam Prapadye
Varanashi Naatham Mu-m Mu-m Natham                             Shri Viswanatham Saranam Prapadye

Meaning of the verse 4 - 

I Take Refuge In The Lord Of Varanasi, Sri Vishwanath(another name of Shiva) 
The Lord Of The Orphans, The Lord Of The Universe

Context - Varansi is a holy place of pilgrimage for Lord Shiva. He is the savior. He is the lord of the orphans. He is the lord of the universe. 
saranam prapadye—I take shelter of. 
Meaning of Saranam or Sharanam - take shelter or refuge under someone's wings. 
Meaning of prapadye - to surrender. 

I take refuge in Varanasinath, the lord of the orphan, Sri Vishwanath. Har-Har Shambhu
(Shambhu).
Nath means lord/savior/master. Varanasinath means the lord  of Varanasi(in the region of Anandavan, Kashi) and that lord is Shiva. 

Meaning and context of verse 4 - 
You're the lord of Varanasi. You're the lord of Kashi (Kashi is another holy land like Varanasi). You're the lord of orphans. You're the Vishwanath, the lord of the world. (Vishwa meaning world and Nath meaning lord). 

(Mu-m Mu-m added as a sound for poetic effect and rhyme.) 

 

Verse 5

Avantikayam Vihitavatarang Muktipradanaya                     Cha Sajjannaam
Avantikayam Vihitavatarang Muktipradanaya                      Cha Sajjannaam

 

Verse 6

Akaalmrityu Parirakshanartham                                          Vande Mahakaalam Mahasuresham
Akaalmrityu Parirakshanartham          
Vande Mahakaalam Mahasuresham

(verse 5 taken from Shiv Mantra Avankiyaan) 

 

Meaning  of both verses - 

Lord Shankar(another name for Shiva), who has incarnated in Avantikapuri Ujjain to provide salvation to the sages, I bow to Mahadev ji, who is also known as Mahakal, the God of those gods to save them from untimely death.)

Abantikayam Vihitavatarang-
Incaranated form in Avantikapuri (Avantikapuri an ancient place in the holy city of Ujjain in the central state of  Madhya Pradesh where Lord Shiva is called Mahakal/Mahadev

Maha - big, great, glorious 
Dev - God
Kal/Kaal - Time 
Kaala - black 
Mahadev - the one who is a great God
Mahakal - the one who can control time and is timeless himself. 

Muktipradanaya - the one who liberates 

Cha Sajjannaam - the sages 

Akaalmrityu - premature death 
Akaal - premature, mrityu - death 

Parirakshanrtham - the protector and preventer 

Vande - a sanskrit salute similar to "Hail", "Shri/Shree", "Jai", "Jai Shree" 

Mahakaalam - Sanskrit for Mahakal or Shiva

Vande Mahakaalam - sanskrit version of the phrase "Jai Shri Mahakal" 

Mahasuresham - the ultimate God of all Gods or suras. Gods were called suras in Sanskrit. 

Context - 

Avanti/Avantika actually means  Ujjain. Because Ujjain was previously known as Avanti or Avantikapuri. Avanti also means modest in Sanskrit. Lord Shiva incarnated as Mahakal in the city of Avanti now called Ujjain. And provided liberation and Moksha to the saints and sages in that region. They were about to die. Shiva as Mahakal protected them from premature death. 

Verse 7

Nagendra Haraya Trilochanaya, Basmanga Ragaya Maheswaraya
Nagendra Haraya Trilochanaya, Basmanga Ragaya Maheswaraya

Verse 8

Nithyaya Shudhaya Digambaraya, Tasmai ‘Na’karaya Namahshivaya
Nithyaya Shudhaya Digambaraya, Tasmai ‘Na’karaya Namahshivaya

(verse 7 and 8 taken from Shiva Panchakshara Stotram) 

 

Meaning of verse 7 and 8-

 

The one who wears a snake as a necklace, he is also the three-eyed God. (3 eyes means 2 eyes and third eye which is the portal to wisdom and psychic powers.) He is none other than Shiva. 

The one who applies holy ash all over his body, the greatest god (Maheshwara). He is none other than Shiva. 

The one who is eternal. He is none other than Shiva. 

The one who is pure. He is none other than Shiva. 

Who only  wears directions as his clothes (Digambara). He is none other than Shiva. 

Salutations to Lord Shiva who is represented by syllable NA in Namah Shivaya. I salute you Shiva in reverence. 

Nagendra - seshnag, king of the serpents. 
Seshnag/Sheshnag is a snake from folklore with multiple heads. 

Haraya - the necklace 

Trilochanaya - the one who has three eyes (two eyes and the third eye considered the eye of wisdom) 

Basmanga - bhasma or ash 

Ragaya - the one who rubs 

Maheswaraya - the one who rubs ashes all over his body. This ash is holy ash. 

Nithyaya - the one who is eternal

Shudhaya - the one who is the purest cleanest 

Digambaraya - Who is pure, forever, and wears directions as his clothes 

Tasmai - unto him

Na’karaya - this can have two meanings. 
First  - who is represented by syllable NA in Namah Shivaya
Second - the one whose form is shapeless

Namashivaya - I salute you Shiva 

This salutation to Shiva has 5 letters of the 5 elements. 
In Sanskrit these five letters correspond to these 5 elements 

Na - earth
Ma - water
Shi - fire
Va-  air
Ya - ether 

Meaning of complete verse 7 and 8-

The one who has snakes acting as his ornaments, the three-eyed god

The one who applies holy ash all over his body, the greatest god (Maheshwara)

Who is pure, forever, and wears directions as his clothes (Digambara)

Salutations to Lord Shiva who is represented by syllable NA in Namah Shivaya

Who is forever,
Who is the cleanest,
And who wears the directions themselves as dress. He is Shiva. 

 

End 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

I'm collecting Shiva mantras. Some of them are tough to understand even after translation. 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

https://www.youtube.com/live/Pk1on_djubs?si=AwYICfYdEm6YU4SY

 

[Buck Edwards]

I have a ton of trauma from childhood. My father was a saint. My mom was a.. Whatever. 

I grew up not realizing how to feel socially okay. Then I was judged brutally by my exes. 

People always called me a moral high horse. Actually it's the opposite. I don't have strong morals. And I'm okay with that too. 

I don't want socially coded morals, because I don't believe in society. 

I want my own morals. 

For me morals should be consistent with spirituality. 

If you can't be a spiritual you can't be moral. 

 

Religion does not precede morality. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

I went through Insanity for 20 days in 2022. 

What did it feel like? 

Wasn't able to sleep 

Wasn't able to focus 

Zero self awareness 

Not able to distinguish between right or wrong 

Not acting socially appropriate 

Wasn't able to tell where the bathroom was 

Feeling unbalanced 

Lot of aggression 

No ability to think straight or logical 

 

I had to drink and experiment with substances to begin to feel normal again. 

 

 

 

Also it felt like I was having a spiritual awakening. How do you differentiate an Insanity phase from a real spiritual awakening? Are they different and in what way? 

[Buck Edwards]

 

Shiva is my Soulmate. 

 

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Nice Shiva Mantra 

 

Karacharana Krtam Vaakkaayajam Karmajam Vaa,

Shravananayanajam Vaa Maanasam Vaaparaadham,

Vihitamavihitam Vaa Sarvametatkshamasva,

Jaya Jaya Karunaabdhe Shri Mahaadeva Shambho