Drugs For Personal Development? My Profound Positive Experiences

[Dexx]

DISCLAIMER:

Be very careful with drugs. Do not experiment with drugs if you know you get easily addicted to things/have an addictive personality. Do not do this stuff if you are under 21 preferably and if you do not have your life in order, and a good degree of self-mastery. In fact, you're better off not even thinking about it.

Keep in mind that I am still young and quite immature and foolish, so who knows... maybe the contras do outweigh the pros when you look at it from the very big picture perspective (your whole life). Nevertheless, I feel like sharing this information is the right thing to do.

I am very cautious about not talking these substances up too much because I know that there's that group of people that will go ahead and ignore my warnings and possibly get themselves in a lot of trouble. But I think that risk is still outnumbered by the possible benefits. Those who have a lot of wisdom and consciousness, please let me know if you want me to take the post down. That being said, let's get started...

I have been fascinated by psychoactive substances for as long as I can remember. Like just, in awe of what they are able to do to your state of consciousness. Some of them really do feel like they give you supernatural abilities for the duration of action.

I've done 25+ different substances, including:

• Psychedelics like LSD and its analogues, mushrooms, DMT, 2-CB
• Stimulants like ecstasy, MDMA, cocaine, Vyvanse/Elvanse, Ritalin (methylphenidate)
• Benzos: Xanax, diazepam, clonazepam, bromazepam
• Opioids like Tilidin (only available in Germany), oxycodone
• Dissacoatives: DXM and ketamine
• And of course, weed/THC
• Alcohol and nicotine

I started out with just weed/THC when I was 14 years old and then gradually progressed throughout the years, climaxing when I was around 16-17 years old. I am now about to turn 20 and I am addicted (after Gay Hendrick's definition of addiction: that which you crave in the span of 2 weeks after last engaging in the addictive behavior) to THC and ketamine - alongside porn and sweets/refined sugar.

Don't get me wrong: Some of these substances produce significantly more negatives than they do positives, that's for me at least. So I would definitely consider opiods, alcohol, ecstasy, and nicotine as NOT helpful to your overall development, for example.

While I am undoubtedly experiencing negative side effects (including sleepiness, lower energy, anxiety, mild comedown depression, I can't help but notice the powerful posititive, mind-altering effects that some of these substances can have.

That was the context for y'all.

During my experience with these substances, I have realized a profound effect on my consciousness and level of personal development and overall success in my life by the following substances/combinations of substances:

1. THC: Definitely raises your consciousness in some respects, and opens the heart and makes you more susceptible to ungodly amounts of inspiration (for me this is super obvious when I listen to music, for my brother it's movies). Because of that, it made the possibility of making music as my life purpose (or at least my passion for it) more obvious. For me, weed is also very introspective.
2. Ketamine: There actually exists a video of Leo talking about the positive effects that ketamine can have, especially therapeutical ones. For me personally, the most profound and impactful effect of ketamine is that it temporarily takes away all of my overthinking, worrying, and stupid human fears presumably caused by the neocortex. When I turn into "an animal", I feel like I am allowed access to insights and ideas that were hiding behind my fears. This results in beautiful, inspiring visions flowering in my mind, and insights that are so obvious in hindsight but that you don't get to see otherwise (presumably because we as humans are "cursed" with having so much brainpower). After I do ketamine, I often have a renewed sense of what I should be doing with my life, and that has proven to be immensely valuable for me.
3. THC + ketamine: This combination strikes me as especially powerful in its effect on my consciousness. I've had 2 insane breakthroughs into higher levels of consciousness, self-esteem, and personal development with this combination in the past few months. And it's a different kind of breakthrough than the ones you get on psychedelics, in a similar fashion like mindfulness meditation, self-inquiry, and yoga have different "flavors" of adding to your level of personal and spiritual development. One has happened while I was at work (lol), I had been doing ketamine in the bathroom and I smoked a few hits of hash in my lunch break... then, I had this huge release and catharsis that felt very therapeutic, I could feel a huge weight lift off of my shoulder and I felt that I allowed myself a greater degree of love and happiness. That hit me so hard that I welled up in tears in the middle of an isle (and I am usually a very "cold" and logical person so that means a lot). Second experience, which happened just yesterday, I was laying on my bed. I had already been doing ketamine for a few hours when I decided to smoke 2-3 inhales of hash. And then, BAM! For a good 10-15 minutes, I was sitting there just in awe as probably some of the juiciest and profoundest insights and visions  poured into my mind freely non-stop. Visions about higher spiral dynamics stages, more wisdom, and higher consciousness. I was so dumbfounded by them that I didn't even cry, I just sat there with my eyes wide open and in shock, because honestly? I'm only 19 fucking years old, and I didn't even think stuff like that was possible like at all, and here I am getting glimpses of it already! My behavior changed instantly after that... just last week I was spending just a couple hours every day working on myself and being very lazy otherwise, and now I have literally worked for the whole day straight yesterday and today, with an immensely powerful renewed sense of motivation and passion. Instantly, I got access to a whole new world when watching one of Leo's videos, specifically the one about Kriya yoga and spiral dynamics stage turquoise. From all things, this is the most powerful formula I've discovered for our purposes here, next to psychedelics of course.
4. Benzos: DISCLAIMER: Benzos are insanely addictive and can easily damage your life in very very serious ways. ABSOLUTELY do not take them if you have had any known problems with addictive behaviors in your life. And in fact, I recommend you do not do them at all. BUT, what I will say though, is that they have taught me some interesting and valuable things. They basically take away your anxiety/capacity to fear COMPLETELY (like 100%) and that has shown me that the things I am so afraid of and think of as so undefeatable, that really it's just something I am creating.
5. DXM: It's been a long time since I've done DXM, because honestly it can be very uncomfortable and I only did it because I was either too broke for "real" drugs or just didn't have the connections yet. Nevertheless, I did notice some benefits: For one, I had a very cathartic facing of my fear of death when I was around 14-15ish, that had been causing me anxiety and nightmares occasionally when I was little and up to that point in time. The DXM gave me a massive panic attack when I started thinking about my death while I was on it. But after that, there was this huge release and I haven't really been afraid of dying (that much) ever since. The other benefit I observed was that it took away the negative feelings/attitude I had towards other people, prompting me to reconnect with my cousing a few times and hang out with him - which was pretty cool.

Keep in mind that I am merely presenting my subjective experience, thoughts, and ideas. Don't just let this stuff go into your mind without questioning it and being skeptical, especially if you are still young(er) and not as developed/mature/wise. If you don't, it could potentially cause you a lot of harm. Yes I know, I'm kind of Joe-Roganing and just spewing ideas here, but then again, that's kind of limited by my level of consciousness and development (I think?).

Could have wrote more but it's getting kind of straining so gonna stop right here.

This is my first post on here, had the idea to write about it while taking a walk in my local park. Let me know what you think about it

P.S: Sorry if it's a little long and big in scope and rambly at times. This was, in a sense, also a bit of journalling and self-exploration at the same time, so I just let my thoughts flow freely

[OBEler]

@Dexx great points! 

Drugs have such a bad Image. It's just a power you need to know how to use it right. Some people dont know how to use drugs for the good like with food etc

 

[UnbornTao]

Make sure your motivation is clear. Easy to justify consuming a bunch of drugs under words such as "development". Keep to healthy substances and don't be stupid. Understand they're completely unnecessary to start with.

[gettoefl]

beautifully written, beautiful share, i love you and hope you stick around and join in more often

[Dexx]

2 hours ago, OBEler said:

@Dexx great points! 

Drugs have such a bad Image. It's just a power you need to know how to use it right. Some people dont know how to use drugs for the good like with food etc

 

Thank you!

I agree in part, though my goal is to not rely on any drugs whatsoever.

[Dexx]

1 hour ago, UnbornTao said:

Make sure your motivation is clear. Easy to justify consuming a bunch of drugs under words such as "development". Keep to healthy substances and don't be stupid. Understand they're completely unnecessary to start with.

Oh yeah definitely.

I'm very aware that my motivation has nothing to do with actual personal development and everything to do with pleasure, distraction, and escaping from that void inside of me.

My intention with drugs was never to do personal development.

And in fact, if I am being honest, one big intention of mine with doing drugs was to kill myself slowly because I didn't have the guts to do it myself.

I lived a long time of my life expecting to be dead by age 18 or 19 or 20.

I just noticed some beautiful side effects and felt they were important to share

It's not a matter of intelligence, it's a matter of awareness.

I am applying the technique Leo gave us in "Awareness Alone Is Curative" every time I do drugs and I make an effort to stay as mindful and as conscious as I can throughout.

Necessity is a projection, nothing we do here is necessary

But I do agree that I should not, and don't truly want to, be doing drugs.

Working on that.

Edited November 19, 2023 by Dexx

[Dexx]

1 hour ago, gettoefl said:

beautifully written, beautiful share, i love you and hope you stick around and join in more often

Thank you so much!

I got butterflies reading your reply <3

Definitely gonna be posting more, been meaning to do so for a couple weeks now, just didn't have an idea of what to post and how to approach this.

[UnbornTao]

21 hours ago, Dexx said:

I'm very aware that my motivation has nothing to do with actual personal development and everything to do with pleasure, distraction, and escaping from that void inside of me.

It's not a matter of intelligence, it's a matter of awareness.

I am applying the technique Leo gave us in "Awareness Alone Is Curative" every time I do drugs and I make an effort to stay as mindful and as conscious as I can throughout.

Necessity is a projection, nothing we do here is necessary

But I do agree that I should not, and don't truly want to, be doing drugs.

If you're doing them it's because you want to. Some psychedelics can be beneficial, so enjoy. They're unnecessary for personal transformation, although they can be powerful catalysts.

Enjoy the awareness episode! It's been a while since I last watched it, if at all.

Happy browsing, have fun.

Edited November 20, 2023 by UnbornTao

[Yimpa]

Life is like a box of edibles. You never know how high you’ll get.