Midlife crisis: got many ideas, but I'm scared

[manuel bon]

Lately I've been having some "mid-life" crisis about what to do in my life. Currently I study in the Netherlands (I'm Italian, studying last year Bachelor), and I know that if after my Bachelor and Master I would go back to my city in Italy (where my family lives) I would easily find a job as a guitar teacher (I know that for a fact; there are not many guitar teachers, and my previous teacher would also recommend me), and I would be close to my family  (which is an important thing since I my dad is not doing well and my whole family situation is quite tough - you can read about it here:)

What I am scared the most is to settle as a guitar teacher, and never do something more and greater. I don't want to be a guitar teacher forever, what I want is to help people, and also personally grow spiritually. I thought then my life purpose could be something regarding meditation and music. I feel I had a pretty tough life, and I know that in one way or another we are all struggling, and I want to help people. I believe both meditation and music are powerful, but I am scared to never be able to leave my "comfort zone" as a guitar teacher. Or maybe the problem will be not having enough time to invest in a new business, since I will be teaching and helping my mom and dad. 

I have also the dream of living in multiple places: I moved to the Netherlands, and I understood that living abroad opens up my mind somehow, and studying here is a life-changing opportunity. But how can I do so many things if home there is a difficult situation? How can I help my family, but still grow personally, spiritually and having more life experiences?

Probably I am overplanning my future, while I should just focus on finishing my Bachelor and then Master, and only after that see what happens. But I also want to start building something now, even if I am still a student.

Long story short, I am pretty scared. Life gave me many positive opportunities, but at the same time with my dad's accident my whole life changed, I am a completely different person, and many times I feel lost. I am scared of all this impermanence I am experiencing, and the people around me don't have a deep or high-consciousness way of thinking, so I don't feel like talking about this stuff. This is also why I am writing here, and if you have any advice, thought, or anything to share, please feel free to do so, it would really help.

I really appreciate you took the time to read me!

[leebus99]

Sounds like you know what's important to you (family/dad), sounds like you know where you want to be in the near future (back in Italy) sounds like you know what you're good at and can earn a living with (teaching guitar), sounds like you know you want to do in the future (help people, learn about spirituality), sounds like you know the problems you are creating (overplanning), and sounds like you know what you need to be doing right now (focus on your studies and see what happens).

So my advice is, follow your own advice! Trust yourself, stop worrying about things too far in the future, and enjoy the now.

[Applegarden8]

I would start a mathcore band, but then I guess I will do it myself.

[flowboy]

On 11/10/2023 at 2:13 PM, leebus99 said:

Sounds like you know what's important to you (family/dad), sounds like you know where you want to be in the near future (back in Italy) sounds like you know what you're good at and can earn a living with (teaching guitar), sounds like you know you want to do in the future (help people, learn about spirituality), sounds like you know the problems you are creating (overplanning), and sounds like you know what you need to be doing right now (focus on your studies and see what happens).

So my advice is, follow your own advice! Trust yourself, stop worrying about things too far in the future, and enjoy the now.

This.

@manuel bon Also:

On 08/10/2023 at 3:46 PM, manuel bon said:

I thought then my life purpose could be something regarding meditation and music.

If you do something unique, you'll make much more money than being a regular guitar teacher (which is commoditized).

It will probably also be more interesting for someone like you, than just do what other people are doing.

So I would read Blue Ocean Strategy and come up with a strong concept that fulfills this purpose.

Right now it's way too vague, as you're probably aware.

You could be holding satsangs or guided meditations guided by your guitar playing, either travelling or online, or use guitar teaching as a vehicle for teaching mindfullness in some way, and make millions if you're passionate enough.

It doesn't come easy though. Doing what everyone else is doing comes easy (and makes you 40 bucks an hour... forever... teaching what every guitar teacher is teaching...boring if you ask me)

You will have to find good quality books on business and do what they say even if you're throwing up out of fear.

Develop relentlessness or live an average life, basically.

Edited October 16, 2023 by flowboy

[manuel bon]

@leebus99  Thank you. As you said, I need to trust myself more.

@flowboy Yes, also for me would be boring becoming a guitar teacher, and have keep this job forever. For my family and culture the best thing is finding stability and keeping it, and I am scared of not being able to break out of this mentality. I am still a student, so it's easy to fantasize and be excited about doing something unique, but when it will come to actually do it I will be alone. I hope I will be strong enough. Since my dad and brother had the accident I easily get scared of some aspects of life. Gotta work on that.

[flowboy]

@manuel bon You’ll be fine as long as you seek out the right friends.

My friends are all highly ambitious entrepreneurs, or in some way doing something unique with their life.

The ones who don’t, I don’t hang out with anymore. Over time I found I have nothing in common with their mindset, so it’s hard to relate.

Friends with the wrong mindset will hold you back. So will family.

So habits like talking to your brother or father or mom every week and get their advice on your life, will have to go.

Build your own masterminds and circles.

[manuel bon]

@flowboy You are totally right. Thank you so much!